DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

27

Jul

I am – Jennifer Ellison is a $2 Hooker of the Day

Jennifer Ellison

Well here is Jennifer Ellison at some event or another exuding what I can only describe as pure class. You can practically see it oozing from her pores. Youâ€™ve heard of a wolf in sheeps clothing? Well Jennifer here is a whore in whores clothing.

I never really went through that period in my life where I dressed like a whore yet and I donâ€™t think I am going to, mostly because if my mother or Jesus ever saw me leave the house like that they would kick the shit out of me, straight up. Donâ€™t get me wrong, Iâ€™m all for short skirts and high heeled fuck me boots that go up to my knee, but Iâ€™m not for old men yelling at me out their car windows asking â€œHey baby, how much?â€? either, you know? Thatâ€™s more Sugar Nellâ€™s department if anything, and I like to leave professional jobs to professionals.

I did learn at a young age that I can pretty much get anything I want from men based on my looks, but I know how girls are that do that shit and I donâ€™t roll like that. Iâ€™m not even talking about fucking for money here, Iâ€™m talking about bitches who arent even gold diggers they just like some idiot to take them out so they dont have to pay for shit, and go to fancy restaurants that usually suck anyways. They donâ€™t fuck for $400, they fuck for dinner and a movie. They are the bargain basement store prostitutes. I tried it a few times and hated myself after for it, not because I hurt some guys feelings and made him cry (that part was funny) but cause I know in my heart that unlike Jennifer Ellison here, I ainâ€™t no $2 hooker.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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Posted in:Jennifer Ellison|Sluts|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Jul

I am – Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Bra in 1993 of the Day

1 Comment »

Sarah Michelle Gellar

I spent last night bent over scaffolding getting fucked from behind on a construction site in downtown LA. The old man who flew me out west is the developer or something (details bore me). If you had been paying attention, you would know me and this guy go way back: I didn’t spread ’em for him for free then, and I’m not doing it for free now. Old habits die hard.

All in all, it was kind of exciting hanging over the side of an unfinished 20 story building, your bare tits bobbing in the air, watching the tiny clueless people down below. Just you, a 50 year old man, the hum of late night traffic, and the sound of your sloppy genitals smacking the shit out of each other. I came a little.

I have spent most of this morning picking the splinters out of my stomach, but at least this dude doesn’t make me wear special “outfits”, outfits like the one Sarah Michelle Gellar is sporting down below back in 1993. This looks like an impromptu shoot in the corner of a Southwestern restaurant, which means she probably was serious about the Madonna get-up and took the shortbus there. IF, in fact this was a ‘Madonna’ themed shindig or costume party, then she still wins the Tard Award for her posing. So there you go, young Buffy showing you her bra. Go wack off. The end.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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Posted in:Bra|Sarah Michelle Gellar|Unsorted

2007

27

Jul

I am – Sarah Michelle Gellar's Bra in 1993 of the Day

1 Comment »

Sarah Michelle Gellar

I spent last night bent over scaffolding getting fucked from behind on a construction site in downtown LA. The old man who flew me out west is the developer or something (details bore me). If you had been paying attention, you would know me and this guy go way back: I didn’t spread ’em for him for free then, and I’m not doing it for free now. Old habits die hard.

All in all, it was kind of exciting hanging over the side of an unfinished 20 story building, your bare tits bobbing in the air, watching the tiny clueless people down below. Just you, a 50 year old man, the hum of late night traffic, and the sound of your sloppy genitals smacking the shit out of each other. I came a little.

I have spent most of this morning picking the splinters out of my stomach, but at least this dude doesn’t make me wear special “outfits”, outfits like the one Sarah Michelle Gellar is sporting down below back in 1993. This looks like an impromptu shoot in the corner of a Southwestern restaurant, which means she probably was serious about the Madonna get-up and took the shortbus there. IF, in fact this was a ‘Madonna’ themed shindig or costume party, then she still wins the Tard Award for her posing. So there you go, young Buffy showing you her bra. Go wack off. The end.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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Posted in:Bra|Sarah Michelle Gellar|Unsorted

2007

27

Jul

I am – Comic Nerds Wanking to Jessica Alba of the Day

5 Comments »

Jessica Alba

One of our readers was complaining that we didnâ€™t post pics of Jessica Alba when the news broke that dumped that loser Cash Warren. Mostly I didnâ€™t post them because I leave the shit like that for actual news sites and I didnâ€™t think any of you would give a fuck to be honest. If she had done it naked, for example, or while flashing her pooter to the camera, then I would have been all over that shit. I thought about it though and I guess despite the fact that will never, ever get to fuck her, ever, your odds to increase somewhat since she is now single. And I guess when youâ€™re a loser virgin like yourself you will take hope wherever you can get it.

These pics were taken at Comic-Con in San Diego, which I think is hilarious because Iâ€™ve been to these conventions and seen the guys who go there, and when thinking of all of them bustinâ€™ a nut to Alba at some press conference for Fantastic Four, itâ€™s funny and creepy all at the same time.

I was really into comics when I was young, because I was a tomboy and wanted to do whatever the boys did. Plus I was always into drawing and writing stories and it interested me, even though all my friends were rich and we were poor and I couldnâ€™t get the good comics like the rest of them. After going to a few conventions and seeing fags dressed up super hero costumes and grown men taking what is essentially a story book with words a 6 year old can read and some colourful pictures so seriously, I started to re-evaluate my interest in comics. Somewhere along the line I realized that people who get way to obsessed with comics are actually pretty freaky and need to get fucking lives. I think I traded my crappy collection to some loser kid for a pack of cigarettes he stole from his mom, and that was that. I stand by my decision.

Here’s some more pics of Alba. If you decide to jerk off to them, make sure you use a tissue and not your limited edition, specialty copy of Superman instead.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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2007

27

Jul

I am – Leah Remini’s Scientology Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Leah Remini

When I was still living in LA as a kid, i spent the night at my friend’s house one Saturday. She lived on a golf course and her big fancy house had maids and ping-pong. She took me to her church in the morning. Guess what church that was? The Church of Scientology.

I was only 11 but knew something was up. We were in the “Sunday School” section, where we just drew some trees after a mind-blowingly boring story about guess what… some trees. At the end of the adult service, we were paraded out in front of all the brainwashed Hollywood folk and prodded into singing this new-age hymn like little performing monkeys. As I was leaving, they asked for my address and phone number. Now, they had already added my name to the giant attendance poster in sharpee, even though i repeatedly told them not to since I was just visiting and went to a real church. Fuckers were aggressive. So I gave them a fake number and address for two reasons: 1) my parents told me never give personal information out to strangers, and 2) my parents were poor and a waste of their time.

This story is relevant for two reasons: 1) Leah Remini is a crazy-ass Scientologist, and 2) I am back in LA for a few days. This is Leah at the El Cantante premiere last night. I don’t know why these people ‘drink the Kool-Aid,’ but whatever Scientology has given Leah spiritually it hath taken away from her rack. Poor Leah’s cleavage now has this flattened, upside-down V thing going on. I blame Xenu. Also, she looks tired and/or drunk. Fucking Thetans.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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Posted in:cleavage|Leah Remini|Unsorted

2007

27

Jul

I am – Leah Remini's Scientology Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Leah Remini

When I was still living in LA as a kid, i spent the night at my friend’s house one Saturday. She lived on a golf course and her big fancy house had maids and ping-pong. She took me to her church in the morning. Guess what church that was? The Church of Scientology.

I was only 11 but knew something was up. We were in the “Sunday School” section, where we just drew some trees after a mind-blowingly boring story about guess what… some trees. At the end of the adult service, we were paraded out in front of all the brainwashed Hollywood folk and prodded into singing this new-age hymn like little performing monkeys. As I was leaving, they asked for my address and phone number. Now, they had already added my name to the giant attendance poster in sharpee, even though i repeatedly told them not to since I was just visiting and went to a real church. Fuckers were aggressive. So I gave them a fake number and address for two reasons: 1) my parents told me never give personal information out to strangers, and 2) my parents were poor and a waste of their time.

This story is relevant for two reasons: 1) Leah Remini is a crazy-ass Scientologist, and 2) I am back in LA for a few days. This is Leah at the El Cantante premiere last night. I don’t know why these people ‘drink the Kool-Aid,’ but whatever Scientology has given Leah spiritually it hath taken away from her rack. Poor Leah’s cleavage now has this flattened, upside-down V thing going on. I blame Xenu. Also, she looks tired and/or drunk. Fucking Thetans.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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Posted in:cleavage|Leah Remini|Unsorted

2007

27

Jul

I am – Katherine Kelly Lang Bikini Pics of the Day

6 Comments »

Katherine Kelly Lang

Well, hereâ€™s a nice way to start off Friday morning. I donâ€™t know who Katherine Kelly Lang is, but she is in St. Tropez, in a bikini, and when you get laid as little as you do, you should stop being picky and crying and take what you can get.

Speaking of crying, it seems we have a few cry baby readers out there who miss Jesus, and donâ€™t like this or that about the site during his vacation. I dunno what to tell you guys honestly, and in the end, you should just take it up with Fatass when he gets home, cause while heâ€™s on his cruise and cheating on my mother with hookers, Iâ€™m stuck in my hot sweaty bedroom on my summer vacation, writing this bullshit so all 7 of you have something to do at your desk instead of working. Trust me, thereâ€™s a lot better things I would like to be doing as well, but weâ€™re all stuck here with each other, so letâ€™s try and work together. Itâ€™s kinda like being stuck in a elevator with someone you hate and fucking them to make the most of the situation, you know?

In the end, judging by our traffic stats, we have still retained the same 7 readers that were here before he left, so Iâ€™m doing good so far I think and if you donâ€™t like it, no one is forcing your virgin ass to read it either. If anything, that Homo comes back in a little over a week, so donâ€™t get scared and until then just keep holding on to your teddy bear tightly and sucking your thumb.

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2007

26

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

12 Comments »

stepLINK July 26/07

I went out with some of my guy friends last night to celebrate one of thier birthdays. One of them is also getting married so the night turned into the 3 of them complaining about getting older and loosing their freedom, while i went around slutting it up with various guys I met and drinking free shot after free shot.

I hate the idea of marriage to be honest and I have problems with guys I start to date because I can’t be with just one dude, I need variety. I’ve had more then on relationship end as a reult of this, and I know there will be many more.

My stepfather and mother hate each other and live with that every fucking day. Think about that for a second. They are there when you wake up, and they are there when you go to sleep. You know those assholes who say life is too short? Well, they are wrong, my friends, life is fucking LONG, and it wil be even longer if you have to spend every last fucking day of it with somebody you hate.

Here’s the links, click them and watch me go WILD!!

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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Miami Bikini Video
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Danielle Lloyd with no top on. Again.
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World record weight loss, this is cool and disgusting all at the same time
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When Christina Applegate was funny and hott
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Jul

I am – Beautiful of the Day

2 Comments »

I’ve never fucked a fat guy, and not because I haven’t wanted to, it just like hasn’t happened yet, you know? i mean I’m a top anyways, so some guy not being abel to get on top of me fuck me isn’t really that much of an issue, and the longer it goes without happening the more I think about it.

This guy is kinda making me change my mind.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Jul

I am – Lucy Pinder in a Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

Lucy Pinder

I wish I had something funny or memorable to write today, but I donâ€™t. was hoping Mike Rowe from Dirty jobs would get back to me in regards to the post I made HERE and maybe even that bitch Heather whoâ€™s email I posted in the steplinks HERE but no such luck. That being said, I am bored and tired and donâ€™t feel like writing right now, so hereâ€™s some pics of Lucy Pinder in a bikini. You still love me, right?

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez