DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

17

May

I am – Britney Spears in a Bra of the Day

My stepdaughter invited me to her friend’s house to watch the finale of American Next Top Model because she knows I am really into that shit, so I sat in the fucking living room of some 14 year old’s parent’s house to watch the shit and I didn’t really fucking care. I helped myself to her dad’s beer and I knew the parent’s of the girl weren’t that impressed, but it was one of those situations that you know is awkward, but act like it’s totally normal, and the other people involved go along with it no matter how much they hate it. I think I behaved myself, I only asked the girl to sit on my lap once and when she said no, I didn’t pull my dick out of my pants to teach her what no means….

Anyway, the model I was going for was this hot Russian number with a big neck but was a mail order bride and that turns me on. She lost. The winner was some anorexic looking mexican who looked like a fucking man. All this to say that TV let me down again.

Speaking of letting me down, it looks like Britney has got her act together. Her body is bangin’, her tits are huge and she’s showing the fuckers off when she’s hitting up clubs to drink all these proving that she still has a career and won’t be working the pole in my stripclub anytime soon and that kinda hurts. The only real option now is to be the next K-Fed, but since it’s been done once, I doubt it will happen again. Girls tend to learn their lessons, especially after having to babies with the motherfucker. Either way, here are the pics of Britney and her tits…

Posted in:Bra|Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Coco’s Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are pictures of Coco and Ice T at some event and she brought out her tits. I guess that’s what she’s all about because anyone with tits this big has got to have some serious self esteem issues, the kind of self esteem that usually leaves them smoking crack in some ghetto apartment with some dude covered in garbage who hasn’t moved in 4 days and when he does it’s to beat the fuck out of her…So in a lot of ways she’s a success story for bitches who hate themselves enough to get the biggest fucking implants the plastic surgeon can possibly give her, unless I am wrong and these fucker are real, which could happen because I am no fucking expert on this shit…

Speaking of self esteem, I was sitting at the coffee shop today just as an excuse to leave my apartment and was stuck at a table next to a rich girl and her mom. They were talking about some trip she was about to go on and how expensive it was and how it will be life changing. The girl was wearing a Jewish Girl Outfit of the Day, with spandex pants and when she got up she turned to her mom and asked if her ass looked different. I assumed that it was because she was working out and mustered the confidence to wear spandex for the first time in public, but then she went to the girls at another table, who I assume she knew and asked them the same fucking thing. It was a fat girl gone skinny and overly confident story and I am placing my bets on this trip ending in abortion….

Posted in:Coco|Ice T|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Coco's Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are pictures of Coco and Ice T at some event and she brought out her tits. I guess that’s what she’s all about because anyone with tits this big has got to have some serious self esteem issues, the kind of self esteem that usually leaves them smoking crack in some ghetto apartment with some dude covered in garbage who hasn’t moved in 4 days and when he does it’s to beat the fuck out of her…So in a lot of ways she’s a success story for bitches who hate themselves enough to get the biggest fucking implants the plastic surgeon can possibly give her, unless I am wrong and these fucker are real, which could happen because I am no fucking expert on this shit…

Speaking of self esteem, I was sitting at the coffee shop today just as an excuse to leave my apartment and was stuck at a table next to a rich girl and her mom. They were talking about some trip she was about to go on and how expensive it was and how it will be life changing. The girl was wearing a Jewish Girl Outfit of the Day, with spandex pants and when she got up she turned to her mom and asked if her ass looked different. I assumed that it was because she was working out and mustered the confidence to wear spandex for the first time in public, but then she went to the girls at another table, who I assume she knew and asked them the same fucking thing. It was a fat girl gone skinny and overly confident story and I am placing my bets on this trip ending in abortion….

Posted in:Coco|Ice T|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

114 Comments »

So now that I’ve seen her tits getting assaulted by some dude in her sex tape, I have no real interest in them. It’s that whole theory that if you don’t give a man sex he’ll keep coming back to you until you do and if you give it out on the first night dude will have got what he wants, will never respect you and date you and will lose most interest in you, until he wants to have sex again….There’s an expression that mother’s tell there daughters that sums it up a lot better than what I said, but it’s not coming to me…

Speaking of coming and useless people in useless videos, here are 2 more emails from that GGW girl, who doesn’t like what I wrote about her on the site. This is what she said:

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:40:47 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im not kidding .. u heard all wrong on that ggw shit … u best delete that
or i am really goin to sue u .. kk cuddles

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:41:58 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im goin to sue YOU for declamation of character …

This was my response:

Jannel,

Thanks for reaching out to me. For the record, what I posted was emailed to me – I quoted it. Nothing I did was illegal. The pictures posted aren’t owned by you. So I don’t think there is any case and there is no such thing as declamation of character, but I know what you were trying to say (defamation).

If you want to write a formal statement with your story, I’ll post it, but until you have a better case, the story is staying up.

In all honesty, you should take the free publicity, I know you’re into getting money for your publicity stunts by issuing lawsuits to asshole video producers who took advantage of you when you got drunk and who made you regret your actions the day you saw it in the DVD, but that’s really not my problem and I haven’t even seen you naked yet or made money of your story, so you’re kinda being unfair here.

Let me know what you’re thinking because I care about you.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I guess law isn’t her strongest subject in school…To see the first email I got from her click THIS LINK

Photos By Camilla Zenz for zumapress.com

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kim Kardashian's Big Ol' Tits of the Day

No Comments »

So now that I’ve seen her tits getting assaulted by some dude in her sex tape, I have no real interest in them. It’s that whole theory that if you don’t give a man sex he’ll keep coming back to you until you do and if you give it out on the first night dude will have got what he wants, will never respect you and date you and will lose most interest in you, until he wants to have sex again….There’s an expression that mother’s tell there daughters that sums it up a lot better than what I said, but it’s not coming to me…

Speaking of coming and useless people in useless videos, here are 2 more emails from that GGW girl, who doesn’t like what I wrote about her on the site. This is what she said:

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:40:47 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im not kidding .. u heard all wrong on that ggw shit … u best delete that
or i am really goin to sue u .. kk cuddles

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:41:58 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im goin to sue YOU for declamation of character …

This was my response:

Jannel,

Thanks for reaching out to me. For the record, what I posted was emailed to me – I quoted it. Nothing I did was illegal. The pictures posted aren’t owned by you. So I don’t think there is any case and there is no such thing as declamation of character, but I know what you were trying to say (defamation).

If you want to write a formal statement with your story, I’ll post it, but until you have a better case, the story is staying up.

In all honesty, you should take the free publicity, I know you’re into getting money for your publicity stunts by issuing lawsuits to asshole video producers who took advantage of you when you got drunk and who made you regret your actions the day you saw it in the DVD, but that’s really not my problem and I haven’t even seen you naked yet or made money of your story, so you’re kinda being unfair here.

Let me know what you’re thinking because I care about you.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I guess law isn’t her strongest subject in school…To see the first email I got from her click THIS LINK

Photos By Camilla Zenz for zumapress.com

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kylie Minogue’s Breast Implants of the Day

2 Comments »

Everyone used to bust Lohan and Britney’s balls for having fake tits, but no one ever seems to bug Kylie Minogue about it. Maybe I am wrong and insensitive, but last time I checked, having breast cancer lead to free implants. It’s like just because cancer is attached to something it makes it okay and I think that kind of thinking is what’s wrong with the world.

Lohan and Britney are reported drug addicts. Everyone bugs them for doing blow or prescription pills or getting drunk every night like it’s a big fucking deal, meanwhile, every fucking 14 year old in private school is ripping lines of coke like kids used to smoke cigarettes in my time. When I was “hanging out” with drug dealers, most of their clients were doctors and lawyers and professionals because cocaine is expensive and these are the people who make society work. Doctors perform surgery on us and diagnose us for the cancers that lead to free implants and no one fucking complains about it, but the second a useless skank gets caught doing it, its a big fucking deal and on the fucking news.

This post is probably bad for business, so before it gets out of hand, I firmly believe cancer sucks, I don’t think anyone who has it or has lost anyone from it is something worth laughing at, I don’t think that losing your breasts and having mangled substitutes for breasts after suffering is funny….I also don’t even know if Kylie has implants, I was just writing as if she does because she looks so lovely in this little summer dress….That was the best kind of damage control I could do.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|Plastic Surgery|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kylie Minogue's Breast Implants of the Day

2 Comments »

Everyone used to bust Lohan and Britney’s balls for having fake tits, but no one ever seems to bug Kylie Minogue about it. Maybe I am wrong and insensitive, but last time I checked, having breast cancer lead to free implants. It’s like just because cancer is attached to something it makes it okay and I think that kind of thinking is what’s wrong with the world.

Lohan and Britney are reported drug addicts. Everyone bugs them for doing blow or prescription pills or getting drunk every night like it’s a big fucking deal, meanwhile, every fucking 14 year old in private school is ripping lines of coke like kids used to smoke cigarettes in my time. When I was “hanging out” with drug dealers, most of their clients were doctors and lawyers and professionals because cocaine is expensive and these are the people who make society work. Doctors perform surgery on us and diagnose us for the cancers that lead to free implants and no one fucking complains about it, but the second a useless skank gets caught doing it, its a big fucking deal and on the fucking news.

This post is probably bad for business, so before it gets out of hand, I firmly believe cancer sucks, I don’t think anyone who has it or has lost anyone from it is something worth laughing at, I don’t think that losing your breasts and having mangled substitutes for breasts after suffering is funny….I also don’t even know if Kylie has implants, I was just writing as if she does because she looks so lovely in this little summer dress….That was the best kind of damage control I could do.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|Plastic Surgery|Tits|Unsorted

2007

16

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

So i read that Stavros was slamming Petra Nemcova so I wrote him a text message because I have his number….

Good job on baggin’ Petra Nemcova, bitch is fucking hot. Too bad everytime you fuck her you have to think about James Blunt having condomless sex with her, even though he did make me cry with his Goodbye My Lover Song…

I got no answer so I did my links instead…Click them….

Crazed Woman Loses Her Mind on the Phone to a Telemarketer
GO

Some Chick Going Crazy Getting a Tattoo
GO

Bruce Willis is Banging Some 23 Year Old Playmate
GO

Jodie Marsh Dressed Pretty Naked for the Photocall of her New Show Where She Looks for a Husband
GO

Cameron Diaz Titty Slip on Ellen
GO

Reinie is the FHM GIrl of the Day and She’s Hot
GO

Wear Scarlett Johannson’s Chest…I Mean On Your Chest…
GO

Britney Spears Photoshopped and Topless for her Website Fan Letter
GO

Avirl Lavigne Topless in Blender
GO

Sales Girl Loses Her Skirt Prank
GO

Vintage Jessican Alba and Scarlett Johannson Pic
GO

Some Asian Chick Named Bony does a Weird Fucking Dance in a Tight Shirt
GO

There’s been a crackdown on radio hosts for being too racy.. Comedian Patrice Oneal Defends Funny…I’d do the same if people thought I was funny….
GO

Belly Dancing Video Number 9 from a Lookin’ Godo Sweetheart
GO

Kate Moss Making Out With My Favorite Person Pete Doherty
GO

Oprah’s Disgusting Feet
GO

Britney’s Nipple Ring Titty Scratch…
GO

Kelly Osborne and Kimmy Stewart
GO

Justin Timberlake Kissing Jessica Biel
GO

Clown Blowing Up Lady’s Skirts with a Fan
GO

Here’s a Crazy Woman Having a Crazy Freakout on the Street….
GO

Mom Dancing
GO

2 Girls Dancing in the Kitchen
GO

Charlize Theron Showing Off Her Body
GO

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jole Threesome Rumor
GO

Unsuccessful Helicopter Take Off
GO

Teri Hatcher Panty Upskirt
GO

Busy Phillipps in Stuff Magazine Looking Hot
GO

Drunk College Chicks Flashing the Camera
GO

Katherine McPhee’s Boyfriend is an Old Bald Man
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

A Video Called Naked Yoga That Isn’t Naked But Still Hot
GO

Hip Roll / Belly Dancing Video Because Girls Like Dancing on Youtube
GO

Sluts Doing Yoga in Bikinis
GO

Girl Gets Pushed into the Fountain at the Mall
GO

Some Chick in Boston Showing Off Her Fat Tits in a Creepy Amateur Porn Style Video
GO

Virginie Gone Wild…Is a Youtube Video of a Bitch in a Thong
GO

Indian Chick and Her Big Tits Doing an Exotic Dance
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Asian Dancer Video
GO

Some Girls Who Think They Are Giving a Sexy Workout Video
GO

A Fat Belly Dance
GO

Disgusting Crackwhore Goes Off On Cops
GO

Angry Black Woman Video
GO

Some Chick Showing How Flexible She Is…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

You Need Sex, I need Money, Good Deal Cuz This Works
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

16

May

I am – Day Dreaming of Daddy Buying Me a Car for My Birthday of the Day

2 Comments »

I got an email from Jannel Szyska because of this post that I wrote about her. This is what it said:

From: Jannel Szyszka
Date: May 15, 2007 3:16:55 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

THis is jannel u best delete that site or im goin to sue u

I just report the news, I never claim that it’s fact and it’s hard to take a bitch who emails me direct like a highschool girl who is mad that someone wrote that she is fat on her facebook wall. I want legal documents, Cease and Desists and lawyers letters to take these threats seriously….

Either way, I do hate the thought of losing everything I have worked so hard for, like thousands of dollars of debt to shady people I know and a rented apartment that my wife pays the rent for and the broken old couch I found in the alley last year and all my jogging pants I got from the Salvation Army for $0.50 a pair and my bad credit and my inability to open a bank account and most importantly my shoes I got at Wal Mart…5 years ago…so suing me is really a waste of time…

That said all this stress about being a hurtbag and being sued by a cheap slut makes me slip into a day dream of being a young girl from an affluent family who comes home for school to find a car in the driveway with a bow on it….so that I can throw the keys back in daddy’s face and tell him it’s the wrong color…

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

16

May

I am – Lohan is a Coke slut and I hate SPAM of the Day

1 Comment »

Is my site Spamming you with popups? I am trying a new advertiser because I need to pay for servers and I have got 5 complaints. If it is happening to enough of you I will take them down ASAP because I fucking hate spammy fucking popups more than you do and even thought I don’t give a fuck about your user experience because I hate you, I do not want that shit polluting my internet home…Trust me.

Speaking of SPAM, here are some more pictures of Lohan doing blow from that video taken in the bathroom….

Here are some pictures of bitch sketching out on her nails. I am not an expert but all the crackwhores I knew used to do this shit when they were either coming off or jonesing more crystal/crack/cocaine/heroin…I’m just sayin…

Here she is partying with L.A. Hipster DJ Steve Aoki in NYC…For those of you who don’t know, Aoki is the asshole who didn’t put DrunkenStepfather on his guestlist when he came to play in Canada with that dude from That 70’s Show…

Posted in:Cocaine|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Party|Unsorted