DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

29

Mar

I am – Kate Beckinsale’s Underwear of the Day

I used to try to get in girl’s pants by telling them that I wanted to be the smallest cock they ever got. For some reason, most girls thing that’s a lie and that anyone who brags about a small cock usually has a big one and they end up giving you a chance to prove yourself. It’s pretty simple maneuver but in my case 98% of the time it worked, they realized that I was the smallest cock they ever got with. Lucky for me, I never really got ashamed about it, I still got to bust my load and felt like the king, even if it was for only a 15 seconds…

Speaking of 15 seconds, here are some pics of Kate Beckinsale on the set of some movie showing off her underwear in a pair of jogging pants that remind me of the fifth grade or at least part of her underwear, is about as sexy as watching me take a shit, which is saying a lot, because me shitting is pretty fucking sexy, aside from all the blood.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Kate Beckinsale's Underwear of the Day

No Comments »

I used to try to get in girl’s pants by telling them that I wanted to be the smallest cock they ever got. For some reason, most girls thing that’s a lie and that anyone who brags about a small cock usually has a big one and they end up giving you a chance to prove yourself. It’s pretty simple maneuver but in my case 98% of the time it worked, they realized that I was the smallest cock they ever got with. Lucky for me, I never really got ashamed about it, I still got to bust my load and felt like the king, even if it was for only a 15 seconds…

Speaking of 15 seconds, here are some pics of Kate Beckinsale on the set of some movie showing off her underwear in a pair of jogging pants that remind me of the fifth grade or at least part of her underwear, is about as sexy as watching me take a shit, which is saying a lot, because me shitting is pretty fucking sexy, aside from all the blood.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Reba McEntire’s Old Titties of the Day

3 Comments »

I feel dried up and dried out a lot like this bitch, only because she’s hit menopause but still shows the world her old fat tits.

A girl just emailed me pictures of herself shoving a dildo in her box and it was encouraging because girls generally don’t email me. It’s not that I can’t seduce them with this site, it’s that they don’t know what I would do with the pictures. At least that’s what I tell myself, even though deep down inside I know I have 10 readers all of them virgins. I am convinced that these pussy pics are major fakes because she asked me to put them up in my stepLINKS, I said when my they say drunkenstepfather on them, we’ll talk, because I am a nice guy who isn’t about to exploit some girl who let her asshole boyfriend take pics of her and now that she’s fucking his best friend, he’s trying to get revenge. I am a nice guy like that but in my mind I still got cunt shots and feel like a fucking hero. That was the whole point of this site and now I may be in love. I am that easy.

Here are Reba McEntire’s Tits…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Reba McEntire's Old Titties of the Day

3 Comments »

I feel dried up and dried out a lot like this bitch, only because she’s hit menopause but still shows the world her old fat tits.

A girl just emailed me pictures of herself shoving a dildo in her box and it was encouraging because girls generally don’t email me. It’s not that I can’t seduce them with this site, it’s that they don’t know what I would do with the pictures. At least that’s what I tell myself, even though deep down inside I know I have 10 readers all of them virgins. I am convinced that these pussy pics are major fakes because she asked me to put them up in my stepLINKS, I said when my they say drunkenstepfather on them, we’ll talk, because I am a nice guy who isn’t about to exploit some girl who let her asshole boyfriend take pics of her and now that she’s fucking his best friend, he’s trying to get revenge. I am a nice guy like that but in my mind I still got cunt shots and feel like a fucking hero. That was the whole point of this site and now I may be in love. I am that easy.

Here are Reba McEntire’s Tits…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Lohan’s Fat Legs in Tights to Distract You From Her Fat Stomach of the Day

52 Comments »

I was on this kick last week that my exit strategy with the site was to sell it to Lohan for $100,000 and issue a press release and stop my writing and go on a drinking binge. So I started harassing Stavros because I have his phone number trying to get him to make it happen. He never returned my calls, I should have recorded my messages, but it was all top secret business strategy and I like to keep somethings as a surprise but now that the idea has been flushed down the toilet with my stepdaughter’s tampons, I figure I can share with you….I guess the fact that you aren’t reading this also helps….

I guess I was all about Lohan buying the site was because I feel a connection to her. She was the original slut I stalked, I have watched her go from party slut to bigger party slut to fake rehab to smoking opium at hotel parties after rehab to nip slips and vagina shots and herpes and all the good fucking times that make her who she is. I feel like I could be her real stepfather and that I have had a bigger role in raising her than her own drunken father…

That said, she’s looking nice and thick in her tights and oversized Jewish Outfit of the Day top, covering what could be a pregnancy but is probably more like a whole lot of ice cream….From one fat guy to another, you’re still lookin great in my books, sweetheart.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Lohan's Fat Legs in Tights to Distract You From Her Fat Stomach of the Day

No Comments »

I was on this kick last week that my exit strategy with the site was to sell it to Lohan for $100,000 and issue a press release and stop my writing and go on a drinking binge. So I started harassing Stavros because I have his phone number trying to get him to make it happen. He never returned my calls, I should have recorded my messages, but it was all top secret business strategy and I like to keep somethings as a surprise but now that the idea has been flushed down the toilet with my stepdaughter’s tampons, I figure I can share with you….I guess the fact that you aren’t reading this also helps….

I guess I was all about Lohan buying the site was because I feel a connection to her. She was the original slut I stalked, I have watched her go from party slut to bigger party slut to fake rehab to smoking opium at hotel parties after rehab to nip slips and vagina shots and herpes and all the good fucking times that make her who she is. I feel like I could be her real stepfather and that I have had a bigger role in raising her than her own drunken father…

That said, she’s looking nice and thick in her tights and oversized Jewish Outfit of the Day top, covering what could be a pregnancy but is probably more like a whole lot of ice cream….From one fat guy to another, you’re still lookin great in my books, sweetheart.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Uma Thurman Bathing Suit Pics of the Day

3 Comments »

There was this 45 year old I worked with who was a total dirtbag. She may have been an alcoholic or drug addict, but I can’t hold a job long enough to get comfortable enough to take a shit in the office, so I’d never know. After one company party I somehow got myself invited to, I started up my game, you know talking to her about how I wanted to see her crawl around on all fours in a mini skirt before ravaging her ass, you know light sexual harassment to see if she’d be into it. Somehow I got her enough drinks to get myself back at her place where she proceeded to crawl around on all fours. I directed her by telling her to take off her panties, at which point she turned to me and told me to fuck her. I couldn’t get it up and it was a low point in my sexual career, but I think it fucked her head up more than mine. Three minutes after realizing I couldn’t do what she wanted me to do, she started dancing around the room telling me to take it all in because I’d never see it again. That monday I was fired and that was the end of that. The lesson to learn in this story is to not get hard when a girl is drunk and horny because it will do more damage to her ego than to yours…at least that the way it worked for me.

Speaking of 45 year olds, here are some pics of Uma Thurman’s Tits in a bathing suit, because they are big and I know that big tits is why I have traffic.

Posted in:Uma Thurman|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Tara Reid Takes Her Tits for a Walk of the Day

70 Comments »

Tara Reid is a drunken whore and she’s having a good fucking time doing whatever it is that she is doing. Even if she claims to have sobered up, it makes no difference to me because I am the type of guy that holds onto the good times and ignores the bad. I remember I knew this bitch who was hitting the beer bong and getting gangbanged by the football team at every college party I went to, even though I never went to college but snuck into all the parties, because that’s where you find prime drunken ass. Anyway, she became some high powered lawyer and will never live that shit down no matter how hard she tries to avoid people for her past. So Tara Reid looks like less of a whore and a little more respectable than ever, but she’ll always be a fake titty drunk whore who liked to fuck to me….That’s just the kind of guy I am….