DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

07

Dec

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

This is the best submission to date, not cuz there is peen in it, but because of the irony of the whole thing. I can’t believe people say my readers are idiots when you guys always impress me like this….

Here is my vagina picture,

This time a picture is attached. (side effect of being a drunken fool I’m afraid)

Keep on Slugging, Slugger.

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2006

07

Dec

I am – Elizabeth Hurley Showin Off Tit of the Day

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Here are some pics of Elizabeth Hurley at the Harrod’s Beach and Children’s Wear Launch in London on December 6th.

I used to work at a carpet store until my boss got caught jerkin off in window display on the persian rugs, but that’s only because expensive tapestry drove him crazy, motherfucker loved the product he was selling so fucking much that it got him off. me up the fucking wall.

I used to know a guy who loved things in his ass. All he would ever talk about was how awesome it felt and no matter how disgusted we were by his stories, we’d always be impressed with some of the shit he shoved up in his junk. He happened to work in a restaurant on breakfast shift and he fucking loved his job…so much that he’d shove the kitchen utensils in his ass why cooking. One day he got caught shoving a strip of breakfast sausages in his ass and he got fired…I didn’t think it was a big deal, it’s not like he was shoving pancake batter up his ass and farting it out on a pan….

Either way, I only wish this post did what carpets did for my boss, or what pancake mix did to my cook friend. These tits are floppy and the lady is in her 40s and that’s okay if you’re 60 which I’m not.

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2006

07

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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So Raymi the Minx wins the blogger awards, possibly because of your voting on her from here. Let’s face it I have had a huge part in making this girl famous over the last 2 years. Unfortunately, like all people who think they’ve “made it”, they leave the small guys in the dust. Since the win, the only messages I have got from her are about interviews she’s got lined up and canadian celebrities myspacing her. Point of all this is to say that all i asked for was a shout out to my site and she didn’t deliver.

I am watching a show on the Tsunami, it’s really fucking uplifting, but lucky for me I have a cigar and no matter what shit the TV is spewing at me, while smoking a cigar I can’t not be happy….

Speaking of not being happy, here are my links for the day. If you don’t know what I am talking about, don’t worry about it, just click the links.

Here’s Some Hayden Panettiere Pics, She’s Probably Legal By Now…
GO

Some Girl Cuts Off Her Underwear in this Video
GO

I demand new Pheromone Challenges…Buy Some Since It’s on Sale and Send in the Success Stories and Pics……
GO

J-Lo’s Got No Panties on…
GO

A Crackhead Gets Attacked By An Alligator…Listen To The 911 Call…
GO

Jenna Jameson in Maxim
GO

Hot Eyebrows Sweetheart…
GO

Some Old VIdeo of a Fat Bitch Dancing…
GO

OC Janitor Owns the World’s Most Expensive Broken Dildo….
GO

Look – Mario Lopez Pulls a Screech and Kisses Some Girl’s Ass…
GO

Paris Hilton Wants to Have Babies
GO

Janice Dickinson Singing About Her Breasts…
GO

Crazy Wheelchair Race Video
GO

Boobs From Above….
GO

Shakira in a Bikini
GO

Santa Loses His Mind….
GO

Emmanuelle Beart Nude Scenes Download, Because You are A Pervert…and You Like Bush.
GO

Diora Baird in her Underwear From Bachelor Party in Vegas a movie or tv show or something
GO

Keeley Hazell’s School Girl Video
GO

This is Edited Aggressively and you will be impressed with their quick fingersxs
GO

Brooke Burke Nude Photoshoot on Video
GO

More Celebrity Sex Tapes…
GO

Keeley Hazell Does Jessica Simpson’s Music Video…Only Better….
GO

I’ve Dreamt of this Happening to Me….But I Always Thought it was impossible….Now I have new found hope…
GO

Jenna Jameson’s First Porn Scene Ever…NSFW (internal cumshot)
GO

Necro is Scary And Molesting a Girl
GO

Downs Syndrome Orgasm
GO

Even Losers have Boobies…
GO

“Things that Make you Say WTF”… Nothing Makes Me Say “WTF”….
GO

Johnny Depp First Wedding Photos….
GO

Scissor Sisters & Passions…
GO

Buy a StepSHIRT it’s Affordable, Even For you.. Hurtbag…
GO

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2006

06

Dec

I am – Minx Models for trendmill of the Day

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Minxy launched her career on this site, now she’s modeling for other sites because she is an unfaithful whore. To See the OTHER PICS CLICK HERE but I obviously posted the good ones…cuz that’s what I do.

trendmill is like myspace but for fashion and it’s invite only so that means you gotta be invited in to see things. Lucky for you, I have an invite code so Click Here or write DS, sign-up and you’re in….I know you are a fashionista hipster piece of shit, aka a virgin in your mom’s basement who likes boobs.

This is my trendmill profile

I can’t always be funny so just look at her tits.

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2006

06

Dec

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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This is an ambitious “Draw Your Vagina and Describe It In 10 Words or Less” because this person kinda cheated with the paragraph at the bottom…but it made me laugh and reminded me how fucking amazing this feature is. The dude in the picture is Ernest Hemingway so all the writing is appropriate cuz he lived and wrote from a Villa in Cuba. Writing from a Villa in the Islands is pretty much my dream….

If you want to draw your vagina and describe it in 10 words or less, send it my way….by email…

EMAIL IT TO ME

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2006

06

Dec

I am – Kelly Brook Upskirt of the Day

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I am not sure who Kelly Brook is but this is her Upskirt from last night outside some restaurant with her boyfriend….

The paparazzi are fucking crazy on these upskirt shots, they obviously see a girl in a dress sitting in a car and they start fucking drooling, hoping for the next hot picture….It reminds me of the Asian man I saw standing outside an electronics store late last night. He had so much desire in his eye and that printer/scanner/copier combo was heaven to him. It reminded me of myself back in Mexico as a kid, looking in the window of the food store because I as so fucking hungry and my mother was too busy turning tricks to feed me or when i was a young teenager in the USA looking at the video game systems in the local toy store that my ultra-baptist parents wouldn’t let me play because they were fucking crazy or when I was older and I’d grab a coffee near the the strip club trying to sneak a peak of the girls heading into work so I knew who to offer money to sleep with later than night, because lets face it, paying for sex is better than paying for lap dances, covercharge, drinks and coat check. The paparazzi remind me of when i was homeless standing outside the liquor store, looking in the window, hoping some nice person would just walk out with a mickey of booze for me….like Kelly Brook brought the upskirt to them…

This post may not make sense, I am half asleep….

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2006

06

Dec

I am – Live Blogging the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show of the Day

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The Victoria Secret Fashion Show was on last night, but the pictures were out weeks ago. So I decided to post some of the washed-up lookin’ Gisele Buncheon outside the late show 2 days ago promoting it….

Since I don’t have cable, I can’t watch the Victoria Secret’s Fashion Show, which is okay considering watching a bunch of hot lingerie models running around in a pre-recorded show is less interesting than scrambled porn. I figured virgin-bloggers everywhere would also live-blog this show, but realize that other virgin bloggers who have been waiting all year for this to come out have other things on their mind for the next hour that involves masturbating.

Since I don’t have cable, I live blogged the hour the Fashion Show was on…..So here it goes….

10:00 – Went to store to get a beer and to ponder how I am going to deal with this no-cable issue I got going on here. I bought candy a beer and the total was $5.75 that I stole from my wife.

10:10 – Back home on the couch, looking for a channel to watch…found one…it’s the National Canadian news…Amazing…

10:15 – big houses cause a big stir in suburban vancouver

10:18 – Cyber-Chondria is the new news segment and it’s so fucking relevant to my life, because I am a google, webMD, addict. Whenever something is wrong I know I’ve got it. I was too busy writing this to hear what they had to say, but it’s nice to know I am not the only one…..Last night I thought I had anxiety because of a caffeine allergy that simulates psychosis….

10:20 – New York Banned Trans fats…Sucks for you Fatty….

10:21 – A Million Dollars for The Hepburn Dress in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Fascinating….

10:26 – 7 days in a school ranked the worst..Can Some Reporter hack it as a teacher. It’s part of a series called 7 days in someone else’s shoes, which is pretty genius and was a TV show concept I had because I always wanted to be a truck driver, bartender, librarian, dance instructor, strip club dj. zoo keeper, cafeteria worker, and the list goes on. The network I pitched it to, never answered my email.

In this school, there is a dumpster that says “Rape Me” and a church that says “God Hates Us All” across the door….sounds like MUNG’s hometown…

10:34 – This kid is on Ritalin because he had fetal alcohol poisoning….I may be an asshole, but can’t rag on kids for having shitty parents…If you’re reading this don’t be shitty parents. I wonder who is in their bra right now…strutting down the runway….I guess I’ll never know unless one of the virgin bloggers live blogged this which is unlikely, cuz this is the shit they wait to jerk off to all year long….

10:38 – Another kid didn’t have any dinner or breakfast because their parents were passed out drunk.

10:46 – Principle Steve Sets the Reporter Straight. I have a Steve in my life, a fallen stepSOLDIER. I just opened my beer and spilt a little on the couch he lived on in his memory….There are so many X-Mas commercials on and I just realized that my Christmas Vacation started when I got fired from the factory last december…Lesson of the year is that making myself famous doesn’t make me money…

10:50 – Is the fashion show over yet?

10:57 – The News is over and so is this post…..CUDDLES…

I didn’t re-read this but I am sure if you’ve made it this far, you loved it. You’re so easy to please.

Posted in:stepLIVEBloggin'|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

06

Dec

I am – Live Blogging the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show of the Day

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