Here are some pics of Paris Hilton showing the world her pretty solid ass on the Runway somewhere….

Speaking of SPAM, I am pretty sure you don’t care about this, but the spammer commenter in one of my posts has apologized for pretending to be other members of the site and for writing inappropriate things….If an apology includes blaming his friends…For the record MUNG is a real person, I never met him, I never read his posts, but he wasn’t me….

OOPS, MY BAD!!!! I had a ‘small party’ this weekend. 8 or so friends, some of them do read u and we discuss your stuff. I actually had mentioned(since i thought there was a good chance you had,in my opinion, “retired Mung”) that it would be great/ludicrous/wtf if Mung came back somewhat more likeable but still somewhat an inflamatory asshole dealing with HIV/aids (cuz assholes can only b likeable if/when they r dying), post his T-cell count, meds, a few nasty photos of yeast infections,etc.

Needles, er i mean needless 2say since it was a stay over party where people(inc. myself) r not always the most “clear headed/rational” some of the time, a couple of them did take the liberty of going ‘nuts’ in the comments and picking up fights w/HLW, “Stepsteve”, etc. While i dont think its 80% just some of the ones they told me about are somewhat in poor taste. The lesson learned is that my computers r now password protected so that people will need 2 check with me b4 using them.

Since u obviously feel that the comments were not appropiate 4your site i do apologize.

P.S.- I hope that you have njoyed some of my comments. I thought the “Ballad of Mung”(w/the subsequent addendum) was pretty good if i can say so myself.

Either way, this post was useless, but appropriate considering what the “support” pics are of. I’d hate to have the post of the year to Paris, so I do what I can to make all Paris posts suck….

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Hayden Panettiere, Ali Lohan and Jamie Lynn Spears are underage celebrities with uncertain futures….Where are they going to end up when they reach the legal age to work. The debate is whether they are going to end up becoming drug addicted party sluts with too much money to spend, or do these girls go onto be the next big thing, and by big I don’t really mean like Brooke Shields with her penis-shaped vagina and football shoulders, but I do mean a childstar who makes it or do they end up being a washed up and dried out meth addicted stripper, unable to pay for their next hit so they suck dick in the back of a strip club kinda thing, I’m talking Family Matters Foxworthy bitch, and not the Foxworthy with the redneck jokes, but without the camera.

Speaking of strippers, I decided to give stripper’s advice as to how they can make more money…this is the first installment:

Me:

I can teach you how to make a lot of money all you have to do to get a lap dance is say, “i want you to grab my tits right now”

Stripper:

I’m the good girl in this club and I already making good money and guys with a lot of money don’t just want to grap your ass and tits. They want you to give them attention and affection they don’t get from their wife

Me:

You want me and it’s so obvious, i can tell by the attention and affection you give me that my wife doesn’t. How much do I owe you?

Stripper:

For you Mr. Martinez…I dance for free. Cuddles.

She dropped my fucking line… let’s face it…getting free lap dances is better than being famous.

Speaking of better than being famous here’s my one line argument for each of these players…

Ali….

She’s Lohan’s sister so even if she never makes a penny, she’s set for life, which means she won’t be sucking dick in the back alley. From my experience the younger sisters never follow the older drug addicted sister’s path, but Ali is her sister’s shadow and her Lindsay is her mother’s shadow, so it’s a family thing. She’ll be cutting lines and rocking VIP rooms and cocaine hotel afterparties by her 18th birthday….

Jamie Lynn….

Her name is Jaimie fucking Lynn, she was born to be a back alley cock-queen. A trashy southern family can only have so much luck before falling into their destined path of trailer’s and trash. She’s a little chubs and that will lead to the meth….She’ll never be as successful as her sister and that will lead to more meth….The only comfort is that her sister will be right by her side.

Hayden….

She’s already got the poses down that would lead one to believe she could suck dick in the bathroom for meth. She’s already been caught smoking and partying when she was 15 which would lead one to believe that she could end up spending her earnings in the club pocket full of bub kinda thing….she doesn’t have the older successful sibling, so she doesn’t have the insecurity with being the loser sister that leads to drug addiction and the comfort of the sister’s bank account that allows you to freeridethrough life so it can go any which way for her…

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I missed Oprah today and that really upsets me. It’s thrown off my whole trying to live like a housewife plan. The highlight of last week’s Oprah is when she started talking about the shape of her shit, she said that some of her shits were C-shaped and some of them were S-shaped…it was pretty amazing to visualize and could be the reason for my recent sex dream. Speaking of amazing, someone just emailed me this…

MTV VIDEO PREMIERES OF THE WEEK….

Mon 12/4 – Jay-Z “Lost Ones”

Tues 12/5 – Danity Kane “Ride For You”

Wed 12/6 – The Fray “How To Save A Life” (new version)

Thurs 12/7 – JoJo “How To Touch A Girl”

Fri 12/8 – Mary J Blige “We Ride”

If that didn’t change your life, these links won’t either, cuz they are equally useless. If you’re wondering what the pics is of, it’s people who tried starting a fight with me on friday night, while I was drunk….another useless pic to go with a useless post.

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This is a video made for some alcohol company about what the world would be like if there was still prohibition. I was asked to post it by some guy who wrote me this:

I was helping a buddy of mine come up with scenarios if Prohibition never ended.

No one would ever get laid
Fights would be a lot fewer, but probably more deadly
Fat girls would never get to make out
Only really serious people would play pool
There would be a lot less nip slips

So many possibilities. Tomorrow is Repeal Day and my buddy helped Dewars make a little video to celebrate. We put it up at YouTube here.

We had to tone down how different the world would be without booze, but thinking we could get some truly despicable comments going at Drunken Stepfather about what the world would be like without beer goggles.

If my world had no alcohol in it, I’d probably be healthy, less depressed, married with kids and my son’s soccer coach, maybe I’d take my beautiful family on vacation or I’d be a virgin or if I did have sex it would only be missionary or for the sake of procreation. I would have probably have never laughed and without alcohol I’d have to have a real person as a best friend instead of a bottle. I would have no stories to tell that anyone would want to listen to, not that anyone listens to me now. There would be no website to write, no computer stolen, no jobs to get fired from and maybe I would have never left Texas and I’d be down there running an church or some shit wholesome, but realisticially, where there’s a will there’s a way, and not being drunk would probably make me much more motivated to find a way to get drunk….meaning I’d make millions bootleggin booze and drinking in back alley abortion clinics…and with millions means I could hire my own driver and bodyguard which is on my newest list of wants.

I’d ask you what you’d be doing if prohibition was still going on, but I really don’t care what you think.

What I do care about is that I am sure the guy who submitted this to me is going to get all kinds of money for pushing this on the net for the alcohol company, I am happy to say that I am not getting shit because I never get money from people, but it’s nice to know I am helping someone else reach their objective while I slowly fall deeper and deeper into the hell that is my life which is this site. Cuddles.

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Looks like Britney Spears is celebrating his 25th Birthday and having a tight UPSKIRT at Mr. Chow’s this past weekend. It’s safe to say that this bitch is officially washed up. She no longer has her youthful charm, and according to her C-Section Scar and Floppy Titty, it looks like this damaged body has had a couple kids and hasn’t had a chance to recover.

Speaking of damaged goods…I don’t appreciate the asshole who spammed my comments by posting Racist and Hateful commentary only to respond back to himself posing as other members of the site, creating a fake internet fight and cheapening the shit out of something that is already fuckin’ welfare….Either way, that’s all I have to say for now cuz I want to be first on these Britney pics and I had my first sex dream in about 4 years last night, I can only assume my depression is subsiding and that I am ready to takeover the fucking world. Mor to come later. Cuddles.

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Here are two more T-Shirt submissions that scare the fuck out of me and make me think that some of my readers are a little too Kimveer for my liking. I have to make my decision today, and so far it’s the original logo you all hate or the pink ass taking the lead. Either submit some shit or leave your feedback if you want to have any say in this Stepfather production. Just letting you know. Asshole.

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Raymi the Minx is trying to make herself famous. She has been begging me to promote her blog award contest for the last 2 weeks and I haven’t really done much for her because I am an asshole. Today she told me that she was going to be famous and that she will remember that I didn’t help her get there. I have seen stranger than a girl with a blog getting famous so I figured I’d post this and try to help her get there. That’s just the kind of guy I am.

If you want to help her out, go to GO and VOTE for RAYMI THE MINX as the BEST BLOG. If all else fails, just watch the video of her jumping around naked….getting naked on the net is just how committed she is to this. That’s the story I heard.

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I love seeing unnecessary fame come to an end. X17 will win because he made all his money off their content. There is no argument that he is a talentless hack and it’s nice that he is finally going down and not in a good way. I never wish bad upon people, but Perez isn’t a fucking person, he’s just an asshole who who ripped people off to get where he is and now let’s hope it’s payback time.

However I do hate the paparazzi too and they make their money invading people’s privacy, so they are assholes too. This is a marketing tool for their own piece of shit blog…I guess what it comes down to is that it’s all about making money….it’s all business… they’re all assholes….and it’s all jokes.

X17online.com Sues PerezHilton.com For Copyright Infringement

Yes, it’s finally happened – after ignoring countless cease and desist notices from numerous photo agencies and media outlets, Mario Lavandeira, a.k.a. Perez Hilton, has been sued in federal court for copyright infringement by X17, Hollywood’s largest celebrity photo agency. X17 contends that Lavandeira, the owner and operator of the celebrity gossip blog PerezHilton.com and the self-styled “Queen of All Media,� has knowingly and willfully used X17’s images on his blog without permission from the agency, thereby violating federal law. Lavandeira’s actions have caused substantial damage to X17’s business in the form of diversion of trade, loss of profits, injury to goodwill and reputation, and the dilution of the value of its rights.

In court papers filed today, X17, the owners of X17online.com, seek over $7.5 million in damages for Lavandeira’s infringing activities.

Mr. Lavandeira has been featured in countless magazines and newspapers and has appeared regularly on various television news outlets in the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. GQ listed him in their Man of the Year issue; the AP and the LA Times have profiled him; the New York Post called him one of the 25 most powerful Latinos and he has appeared on almost every major U.S. network commenting on the day’s entertainment headlines. He is said to be shopping around a reality show and he is set to appear on MTV’s New Year’s Eve special. “Perez� claims he receives 2.5 million unique visitors each day on his website.

Mr. Lavandeira has regularly infringed on X17’s large scoops. While it usually takes weeks of effort by a team of photographers and reporters to break a story, for Mr. Lavandeira, it has been as simple as a right-click.

Mr. Lavandeira is profiting through advertisements on his site (one-week ads on his site go for between $9000 – $16,000) and has gained relative fame from the success of his blog, which, X17 contends, is due in large part to the quality and quantity of celebrity images he posts on his site, many of which are owned by X17.

X17 is repped for advertising by Gorilla Nation, the world’s largest online ad rep firm. As X17 made its foray into the world of celebrity blogs, they sought out Gorilla Nation to represent them to the brand marketing community. Gorilla Nation was excited to take on X17online.com as the first and largest celebrity photo agency to start their own website to allow the public direct, free and immediate access to the biggest stories in Hollywood, told with the most sought after images of the stars.

UPDATE – ANOTHER COMPANY IS GOING AFTER HIM

Go to Splashnewsonline for this story

Perez Hilton is to be hit by a federal lawsuit from the top seven paparazzi agencies in the US.
Splash News, INF, Ramey, Bauer Griffin, WENN, Most Wanted and Flynet have joined forces to stop Perezhilton.com from using copyrighted images.
“Perez claims he is making a fortune off exploiting pictures taken by photographers. He blatantly violates copyright and makes advertising revenue off other people’s works,” said Gary Morgan of Splash News.
“It is time he is held accountable for his actions. We have amassed a ton of evidence from all of these agencies detailing his infringements.
We have filed a letter to him giving him the chance to either pay up for all of his copyright violations or face the music.”
The seven agencies have spent the last few weeks conferring over how to stop Hilton. In an unprecedented co-operation between paparazzi and showbusiness agencies, the heads of the agecnies agreed to take action.
A letter was sent demanding full payment of all infringed material or face a lawsuit next week.

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