DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

10

Nov

I am – Lohan Showing Nipple of the Day

I just went to a sandwich place to get a sandwich because I like sandwiches. I think it’s got something to do with not being allowed to eat sandwiches as a kid because my mom was more into breast feeding me until she died when I was 12. I guess it was cheaper for her considering in the latter part of her life she was pregnant every year and the babies always seemed to disappear, I assume she sold them or some shit, which always made me nervous, knowing that somewhere out there, my 10 brother’s or sisters were running around. I never felt comfortable slamming a mexican/half mexican girl and I don’t think I ever will, because unlike you I don’t get off to the thought of fucking my blood. I guess impotency prevents incest. Either way, this woman in front of me at the sandwich place made the sandwich artist pull out the roast beef for her to inspect before ordering. I thought that was weird, but not as weird as the bitch who ordered an egg nog latte with nutmeg at starbucks but only because egg nog at 11 am is a vile thought. Speaking of roast beef and vile thoughts here are some pics of….LOHAN. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

10

Nov

I am – Country Music Night of the Day

2 Comments »

There is humor in bad content, shitty videos and garbage commentary. That humor is your reaction. You get all pissed off after watching a clip that you have no choice but to watch because it’s there and you have nothing to do. You are hoping that this video is different than all the other shit I’ve put out. You feel like I owe you funny because I’ve been making you laugh the last 2 years for free and that I am your dancing fucking monkey that you found in the gutter so you don’t have to pay. You feel like I wrong you when I post something that you don’t find funny, because as a visitor to this site, it’s my fucking job to jerk you off while licking your ass. Reality is, it’s funnier for me to fuck with you than to give you what you want. I do know that I’d rather read your reaction to my smut and laugh at you than have 10,000 people praise my shit because either way I’m not making money off the site I am hungover…I am not your whore…here is my clip.

For the record…I love it and think it’s just as funny as all the hate mail you are going to send me. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Nov

I am – Guys Hugging in a Bar of the Day

13 Comments »

Someone sent in a complaint about how I stopped producing my shitty stepTV clips. I assume she either missed the messages to Lohan or watching stepSTEVE lick whipped cream off some dirty girl from Boston. So I went ahead and edited stepfather titles to a video some dude sent into me, because it’s nice to take credit for other people’s work. The reality is that I took this video, but the dude doing the hugging was pretty fucking big and I’d hate for him to recognize me after all 3 of you click this video, humiliating him on the internet. I am not really in the blogging mood, but I have lots of funny still left in me, I just forgot to put it in this clip. I just need to get a coffee and some lunch cuz I am hung over. Enjoy. Cuddles. And girls…send in some bikini pics info@drunkenstepfather.com…I am bored and want to rate your body cuz it’s a little less gay than this video.

It’s glitching and I don’t know how to fix it…but I am really glad I spent 3 hours on this piece of shit that isn’t even funny….

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Nov

I am – Scarlett Johansson’s 1950’s Lookin’ Fat Whore of the Day

335 Comments »

I know these pictures are old by Internet standards, meaning they were out yesterday. I wasn’t going to post them, but I fucking hate this over-rated bitch and needed to discuss….She’s a fat and she’s obsessed with dressing like a 1950’s pin-up girl, an era when fat girls were considered hot. So here she is confusing all you fucks into thinking she’s the next sex icon like Marilyn Monroe with her bleached hair, her red lipstick, pale skin and her 1950’s style high-waisted jeans emphasizing her birthing hips, when really all she’s got is an unhealthy food addiction, like this one bitch I saw on Oprah who said getting gastric bypass surgery was like losing a best friend…I can only assume that when Johannson realizes she can’t act and when you realize that she’s fat, she’ll really pick up the pace with this emotional eating thing making her Jesus Martinez marriage material, because let’s face it, I have no standards. Cuddles.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted

2006

08

Nov

I am – Scarlett Johansson's 1950's Lookin' Fat Whore of the Day

No Comments »

I know these pictures are old by Internet standards, meaning they were out yesterday. I wasn’t going to post them, but I fucking hate this over-rated bitch and needed to discuss….She’s a fat and she’s obsessed with dressing like a 1950’s pin-up girl, an era when fat girls were considered hot. So here she is confusing all you fucks into thinking she’s the next sex icon like Marilyn Monroe with her bleached hair, her red lipstick, pale skin and her 1950’s style high-waisted jeans emphasizing her birthing hips, when really all she’s got is an unhealthy food addiction, like this one bitch I saw on Oprah who said getting gastric bypass surgery was like losing a best friend…I can only assume that when Johannson realizes she can’t act and when you realize that she’s fat, she’ll really pick up the pace with this emotional eating thing making her Jesus Martinez marriage material, because let’s face it, I have no standards. Cuddles.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted

2006

08

Nov

I am – Brittany Murphey Trying to Class her Trashy Self Up of the Day

49 Comments »

I just took public transportation… I never take public transportation…not because I am too rich and luxurious for public transportation….especially since I had to borrow my fare from the local drunk who I bumped into on my way to the station. The main reason I never use public transportation is because I got no where to go and if I did have somewhere to go, I would rather not go there while being rammed into a train with old people, ugly people, crazy people, curry smelling immigrants and poor people. It’s not I think I am abovbe them, it’s that I am disgusted by them.

Speaking of disgusted by public transport, I gave the dude in the kiosk my $4.00 to get on the train, only after hearing dude ask the maintenance man for more toilet paper for what’s got to be the grimiest bathroom. So when dude handed me my $1.50 change with his shit covered hands from running out of toilet paper a few minutes earlier in what has to be the grimiest bathroom around, I took it with a smile, I am in no position to walk away from my shit covered change but with that I was…now all I smell is the shit radiating out of my pocket from where my money is, but just remember thed I haven’t changed my underwear this week.

Speaking of shit, here’s some pics of Brittany Murphey pretending she’s not a piece of shit….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Nov

I am – Britney Spears Sex Tape of the Day

259 Comments »

I just woke up…so I literally slept on this one…I can’t this player to work so click this link GO

It’s not officially her, but I know it’s K-Fed…I’d recognize that cunt anywhere…..

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

13 Comments »

I went out to a country music event last night where one of the 75 year old hillbilly’s fainted. I was scared that he died, but he got back up and played another song about 30 minutes later. I woke up at 7 am to go to a sleep specialist because I was told I have sleep apnea. When I got there, I found out that the machine costs 500 dollars to rent for a week, and 2000 dollars to buy. Needless to say I had to leave the sleep apnea clinic with my poverty between my legs and coffee all over my shirt and here are my stepLINKS….

Jodie Marsh Upskirt Pics Worth Checking Out…
GO

Friendly Boobie Grab
GO

Pam Anderson Grocery Shopping Cuz a Whore’s Gotta Eat…
GO

Get Up In This Bitch
GO

My newest myspace friend will turn you on….
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Amateur Striptease For You To Watch
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Caprice Bourret Picture Gallery for You
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The Reason I know This Site Sucks is Because Girls Don’t Send Me Pics Like This
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More Pics of Will Holland aka the Underage girl on the OC
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Jennifer Ellison Calendar Spread Worth Checking Out
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I saw a South Park Promo about Oprah’s Vagina..Here’s a Clip of South Park vs Croc Hunter
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Paris’ Parents Take Pride in her Sex Tape
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EroticBall Gallery
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Swimsuit Models for Red Carter Sping 2007 Collection
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Anna Nicole Smith’s Cesarean Section on Entertainment Tonight – via Entertainment Tonight
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I believe this is some teen model’s boyfriend’s photobucket…
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Whore Submission #17
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Amateur Bed Fuck
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Ali Landry Bending Over
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Some Pussycat Doll Original Pics in Concert
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CMA Round-Up
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Britney Spears on Letterman, She Filed for Divorce Today
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart – SFW If You Can Look A Pics of Penis At Your Work…
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Random Get Together Where Girls Get Naked…No Nudity But Still Good Times…
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Stupid Pubic Hair Joke of the Day
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Ghetto Big Mac – Because You Americans are Fat and Fucking Disgusting
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Why does everyone love this hannah hilton character…is it cuz she shows her box?
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Buy this T-Shirt
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

07

Nov