I am sitting at my cardboard box of a desk thinking to myself that this cunt Victoria Silvstedt gets no work and is a glorified escort who lets midget billionaire Greek men go down on her in public. She’s a ex Playboy model and was in a movie but lets face it, that didn’t make her enough money to sustain herself. I am not saying that she’s the kind of whore who fishes for the 25 dollars you just threw into a shit filled toilet bowl as payment for licking your dirty ass cuz she’s that desperate. When I found out she had a legal team in France who threatened us, I realized the money must be coming in fron somewhere. Now my questions have been answered as we have proof of bitch working. She is doing a commercial for Axe in the UK. This shit’s high fucking profile. I wonder if she does comic book conventions and bar mitzvah’s. Grab your first titty here Herschel. Motherfuckers.

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I am fucked right now. I used my genius Spic girl commentary yesterday, and it wasn’t even to Spic girl pictures. So here I am sitting on these Spic girl pictures, with no Spic girl story, because I wasted it on some Non-Spic yesterday. I don’t even know who Michelle Rodriguez is by from now on she’s going to make bring feelings of HATE out in me because she is the reason for this horrible editorial disaster.

I can say that I do have a bit of an armpit fascination that started when an old greek friend of mine told me he pit fucked his ex gf because she was some traditional greek girl who wanted to wait until marriage before vagina fucking. But she would let him fuck her up the ass and one day while licking her armpit, Kosta decided to run to the kitchen and get the olive oil for a whole new armpit adventure. I have never fucked an armpit and that is why Kosta is more a man than I will ever be.

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July 1st is moving day in Montreal. That means all leases are up and all students and people moving, move on that day. When people move, they usually throw out anything that’s either too annoying to pack or too annoying to move. I am a lazy motherfucker and decided to check out the trash for any golden finds, 6 days too late. I am pretty happy that I came across an old pile of tupperwear, because that’s what we use for plates at the Martinez household. There’s still rotten food in the motherfuckers, but I’ll just let it soak in bleach for a few hours. Speaking of 6 day old garbage and rotten food, here’s some pics of Naomi Watts waiting for a taxi. Start masturbating NOW. Assholes.

Isn’t it funny how hailing a taxi looks a lot like sieg heiling….

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I do what I can for my useless readers and I am annoyed by one of them. He writes “I wanna jerk off to a bitch smoking cigarettes” in every single post. Dude, I understand that we all have fetishes and you jerking off to some cunt with a cigarette in her mouth is not that big of a fucking deal. It’s not like you are kidnapping girls and locking them in your basement and jerking off to their whimpers or something equally disturbuing, but reading the same shit in every post gets tired, just like this fucking website. I am surprised some of you still come back.

I guess that means you’re the comment of the week, send your address to claim your prize and tell your friends.

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When I first looked at these Kevin Bacon pics, I was excited for the motherfucker. I haven’t seen him around in 15 years and the last time I did see him was in the shower fully exposing himself. No, I don’t have that kind of relationship with this dude, it was in a movie. I love how whenever a movie shows full male frontal fags go fucking crazy, like they have never seen a dick before, like they are dick virgins and don’t have a dick of their fucking own. But dick’s not the point of this post, the point is that I thought Kevin was slammin both this bikini bitches, like in that Neve Campbell/Denise Richard’s movie, but realized that the darker haired one is probably 13 years old and I am sure this fucker wouldn’t compromise his nonexistant career for some ripe 13 year old box.

Bonus: While Kevin Bacon Gets Pussy, Tony Danza Gets Groceries