Or should I say that Hilary Duff’s lame rockstar boyfriend is getting in bed with little boys of the day, because by the look of this girl, she’s got to be rockin’ a dick. I guess it has to do with him being a twin, I remember reading somewhere that male twins are 10 times more likely to become faggot. I don’t know what the logic is, but maybe it is because twins are always naked and gettin’ their diapers changed together. When you aren’t a twin, pulling your dick out in front of other dudes never really feels right, unless you’re gay. I am convinced that the dudes at the gym, who are straight and under 40, are never fully comfortable being naked with dudes, they just think it’s what they are supposed to be because fags took over the locker room the day they found out they could watch other men change there, because let’s face it, if you were allowed in the ladies locker room, you’d be doing the same thing and the straight dudes took the gay dudes’ lead and were like “shit maybe I am supposed to be showering naked like that dude” and that’s the story of Hilary Duff.

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I had some useless commentary to make about how women who lose weight become sluts, but realized I have said that before and would hate to repeat myself. I also wanted to talk about grown women with little girl bodies but couldn’t really find an angle. I was going to say something along the how the hormones in food are making girls develop huge tits at a young age so now people with little girl fetishes have to look to 25 year old skinny bitches to get off since 10 year olds have bigger tits than their lactating wife.

But I didn’t know where to take it from there. I know that in my time girls had no tits, they were all thin like Nicole Richie because fast food wasn’t the way it is now. I don’t think she’s too skinny and I am sure she’s a rockin’ good time in bed. I don’t have a little boy fetish, but bitch has hips and looks more womanly that someone 50 lbs heavier with cellulite and a shovel for you to dig with. The reason you have to dig, is cuz it’s a fucking treasure hunt just trying to find her pussy. When you marry a 337 pound woman, banging a small ass that makes you feel like a little more of a man is a good thing, not that I could bang a small ass if I wanted to, with the impotency and shit, but you know what I am saying….life’s about balance and to dis her for having a hot thin body is a waste of time, because we all know, thin is hot and you’re not….

Bonus….Candid Pics….

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The Pussy Cat Dolls are whores. I remember when they first hit the scene as some exclusive burlesque show that celebrities hosted years ago (if you consider that slut Carmen Electra a celebrity)….they had it going on. They were strippers with a business sense and instead of being the usually pole rockin’, 10 dollar a dance slut, they were making big money from high profile people who considered what they were doing an art.

Every single time I have gone to the strippers, I have considered them to be their own kind of artist, and by artist I mean con artist. Those cunts always find a way to get me to give them all my money. Even the ugly ones.

I remember one time when I got a lap dance, while wearing a white linen suit, when I left their was a huge skid mark down my leg. So I guess bitch was a bit of an artist herself, only her paint was her shit and her easel was my pants.

Either way, the Dolls may have gone mainstream and here they are performing for a TV show, but they will always be stippers with an idea to me.

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I used to work for a porn company. I was involved in stocking the shelves in the warehouse and packing boxes. I would get a porno movie a week bonus if I filled a certain number of orders in a day. I always hit target in the beginning, because there was some kind of excitement about the job, that excitement lasted about a month, until I was too bored of porn to care and realized I could make some decent coin selling movies to my friend for half price. I made a couple thousand dollars and was long gone before the company realized it, but that’s not the point of this. The point is that at the porn company, I saw a few banned german movies. There was one bitch who seemed to have enough shit in her to soil everything and everyone on set. She was rockin’ a hat like Cindy Crawford. I wonder if they’re related.

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I used to work for a porn company. I was involved in stocking the shelves in the warehouse and packing boxes. I would get a porno movie a week bonus if I filled a certain number of orders in a day. I always hit target in the beginning, because there was some kind of excitement about the job, that excitement lasted about a month, until I was too bored of porn to care and realized I could make some decent coin selling movies to my friend for half price. I made a couple thousand dollars and was long gone before the company realized it, but that’s not the point of this. The point is that at the porn company, I saw a few banned german movies. There was one bitch who seemed to have enough shit in her to soil everything and everyone on set. She was rockin’ a hat like Cindy Crawford. I wonder if they’re related.

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Wilmer Valderrama was right. Ashlee Simpson is the new Lohan. Stay tuned for some stalker content. I think I am in love with a talentless whore, just because she worked out a little, dyed her hair, got a nose job and stuck her tongue out. Yes, I am that easy to win over. Ladies, if you are out there, which I know you aren’t, send in some pictures, I feel neglected.

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This could be me. But it’s not. I am a lot younger and fatter. But you guys can pretend that I am that guy. Because it’s funny. At least it is to me.

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Longoria has a weak chin, looks like a retard, and has a massive mexican box. The reason I know about the massive mexican box is because her boyfriend is 7 feet tall and black, it’s kind of a given. If I was 7 feet tall, my dick would be at least 14 inches long. Either way, no one really give a fuck about this cunt, except you, but that’s cuz you like any girl in picture form, it’s the only sex you can get. I don’t mean to dis you, there’s nothing wrong with lacking social skills or game, and I am really not one to talk considering I am the one posting this shit. Right? Keep telling yourself that I am as lame as you are and I’d tell you to tell your friends, but I know you don’t have friends. Cuddles.

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The other day I posted on how Jennifer Love Hewitt is gettin’ a fat ass. All you virgins got mad at me because you’ve wanted to fuck her tits since ’99 and you haven’t realized that she is not your girlfriend and never will be your girlfriend, so get over it and make fun of her with me. I hate how you get all fucking emotional about someone who doesn’t do shit for you, who would probably call the police on you the second they met you in person and not because you’d be hiding in her bushes but because cunt’s got too much of an ego to congregate with your kind. Either way, I was at Starbucks for my free coffee today and some big lady, addicted to food, came up to the counter and asked what they were cooking because it smelt like heaven. I could see bitches cookie dough heart pumping in her chest as she came thinking about baked goods. Addiction is never funny, even when it’s an obese woman craving a muffin like crackhead on their knees in the public bathroom lookin for the piece of rock they dropped. Point of the story is, Love Hewitt is addicted to food and here’s the proof. Fucker.

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The other day I posted on how Jennifer Love Hewitt is gettin’ a fat ass. All you virgins got mad at me because you’ve wanted to fuck her tits since ’99 and you haven’t realized that she is not your girlfriend and never will be your girlfriend, so get over it and make fun of her with me. I hate how you get all fucking emotional about someone who doesn’t do shit for you, who would probably call the police on you the second they met you in person and not because you’d be hiding in her bushes but because cunt’s got too much of an ego to congregate with your kind. Either way, I was at Starbucks for my free coffee today and some big lady, addicted to food, came up to the counter and asked what they were cooking because it smelt like heaven. I could see bitches cookie dough heart pumping in her chest as she came thinking about baked goods. Addiction is never funny, even when it’s an obese woman craving a muffin like crackhead on their knees in the public bathroom lookin for the piece of rock they dropped. Point of the story is, Love Hewitt is addicted to food and here’s the proof. Fucker.

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