I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

13

Jul

I am – Kate Moss’ Cocaine Safari of the Day

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I am late at posting today because someone told me that it wasn’t very classy of me not having a dinning room table, even though I don’t have a dinning room. They told me eating off my lap or on the floor is not civilized, and since I consider myself a civilized person, I decided to go shopping for one. I ended up at the Salvation Army, because they have great deals for poor people and I got one for 20 dollars. For all those wondering, eating off a Salvation Army 20 dollar table is not classy or civilized and despite my financial situation, I hate shopping with poor immigrants at a fuckin’ homeless person loving institution like the Salvation Army.

Here are some pictures of Kate Moss, no longer homeless and making more money than ever now that she’s been busted with an addiction. If only it was that easy for the rest of us. The reason I say that she is on a Cocaine Safari is because she has Safari colors on, a range rover and enough cocaine to kill an elephant in her condoms she swallowed while crossing the border like she was Steve-O. You are so hot right now, if I was wearing pants, I’d totally take them off. Cunts.

Bonus – Bitch in Black



Bonus – Last Week’s Bikini Pics



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2006

13

Jul

I am – Kate Moss' Cocaine Safari of the Day

katemossToP.jpg

I am late at posting today because someone told me that it wasn’t very classy of me not having a dinning room table, even though I don’t have a dinning room. They told me eating off my lap or on the floor is not civilized, and since I consider myself a civilized person, I decided to go shopping for one. I ended up at the Salvation Army, because they have great deals for poor people and I got one for 20 dollars. For all those wondering, eating off a Salvation Army 20 dollar table is not classy or civilized and despite my financial situation, I hate shopping with poor immigrants at a fuckin’ homeless person loving institution like the Salvation Army.

Here are some pictures of Kate Moss, no longer homeless and making more money than ever now that she’s been busted with an addiction. If only it was that easy for the rest of us. The reason I say that she is on a Cocaine Safari is because she has Safari colors on, a range rover and enough cocaine to kill an elephant in her condoms she swallowed while crossing the border like she was Steve-O. You are so hot right now, if I was wearing pants, I’d totally take them off. Cunts.

Bonus – Bitch in Black



Bonus – Last Week’s Bikini Pics



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2006

12

Jul

I am – Heidi Klum Pregnancy Weight of the Day

HeidiKlumFat.jpg

Last night, I went on my evening stroll to the local park, where I try to scare old ladies into giving me their money, young girls into giving me their pussies, young dudes into giving me their weed and other molesting creeps to share industry secrets. On this stroll in the park, I saw a man walking his dog, his baby and more importantly his wife. I know that dude’s tired of being disgusted by this beast he’s had to deal with the last year and she knows that she’s not the hot little number he once married. The problem is that post pregnancy comes exhaustion from listening to the annoying STD cry all fucking night, and when exhausted you usually don’t have what it takes to lose the weight. I predict that dude had to promise his wife he was taking her for ice cream to get her off her fat ass, knowing that the ice cream shop would be closed when they got there. My story wasn’t so good, but the industry secret joke was funny. Go re-read it. Thanks in advance. Asshole.

Bonus – Tits

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2006

12

Jul

I am – StepMUSIC: Priestess (of the day)

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I am in the business of bringing people together and getting shit all for it. I once knew a kid in a Montreal band who got signed to RCA and is going to the top and won’t be bringing me with him. I also knew a guy at a T-shirt company whose banner I put on this site for free and who has the coolest fucking T-shirt designs I have ever seen and will be going to the top without bringing me with him. Somehow the two end up working together leaving me completely out of the loop and together they will go to the top while I sit here remembering the good times we once had. This means that I have contributed to another person’s success without making anything for myself. It’s the story of my fucking life.

But being the nice person that I am, I decide to put up an mp3 to the band’s song, and a link to their website, and a link to the T-Shirt company’s website, so when all 10 of you pieces of shit click thru, they will have no idea this post never happened, and I will remain in my one room apartment alone as they sit in luxury hotels fucking hookers.

I would like to thank the story of my fucking life for making this possible.

Listen To The Single HERE

If You Want to Win A T-Shirt and Signed CD Email Me

Related Links:

Priestess Official Site
CD Review
Tank Theory: The Hottest Shirts of the Day

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2006

12

Jul

I am – X-Tina in a Bottle of the Day

xtinabratop.jpg

I remember when X-Tina was a Genie in a Bottle, before some Jewboy was rubbing her the right way. I am not an anti-semite, some of my best friends are Jewish, ok, that was a lie but a great diffence to deny racism accusations cuz you really have no way of knowing that it is a lie. That is the convenience of the Internet. I don’t know if these pictures of this bitch are new because she’s got porn hair, red lipstick and a sheer top in every picture taken of her. That’s the story I heard.



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2006

12

Jul

I am – Jessica Simpson’s Birthday Pics of the Day

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I like how celebrities sit around in bikinis on their birthday. I don't really remember most of my birthday's but have a feeling one of the more recent ones involved me, a Cambodian prostitute and a lot of shit. I'm into german scat like that. That story was a bit of a lie, I just like to pretend I shit on hookers on my birthday, when really I go to the shitty family restaurant down the street and order the Fajita platter, trying to taste home. My fat wife orders a cake. 


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2006

12

Jul

I am – Jessica Simpson's Birthday Pics of the Day

jessimpsbdaypicsTOP.jpg

I like how celebrities sit around in bikinis on their birthday. I don't really remember most of my birthday's but have a feeling one of the more recent ones involved me, a Cambodian prostitute and a lot of shit. I'm into german scat like that. That story was a bit of a lie, I just like to pretend I shit on hookers on my birthday, when really I go to the shitty family restaurant down the street and order the Fajita platter, trying to taste home. My fat wife orders a cake.


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2006

12

Jul

I am – Tales from Lohan’s Vadge of the Day


I don’t do Celebrity gossip, because I don’t care about celebrity, which isn’t as funny as it sounds considering every single useless posts of mine has paparazzi pics in it. That’s just a trick to get people to read the site. Anyway, Lohan from Myspace, who I am convinced is fake, but love her regardless, because I am connected at the soul with all things Lohan (even people pretending to be her on the internet), sent me this myspace conversation with the drummer from McFly. So here I am posting it.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Harry
Date: Jul 11, 2006 2:28 AM

“publicity stunt.”

hmmm…yeah whatever then. lie to all your fans. hey, it was good while it lasted ay!

i dont hate ya but i can’t believe you are making me out to be the lier!

harry

Lohan’s Response:

—————- Original Message —————–
From: “FAKE LOHAN’s MYSPACE”
Date: Jul 11, 2006 1:49 PM

im making you out to be the liar?

honey please. you do not go around telling people our business, and i told you that from the jump.

i’ll do what i want to do, im a big girl. thanks for the dick cunt

When I asked Fake Lohan why she wanted me to post it, this is what she said:

i thought that would be cute enough for your site. i want it to be known that we are friends, and not fuck buddies.

I love fake Lohan more all over my face.

UPDATE: Some New Pics From The Set Because No One Cares….


Visit Harry, the drummer from McFly’s Myspace HERE

Pics Via Splashnews (they linked me on their sidebar so click this link assholes)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Jul

I am – Tales from Lohan's Vadge of the Day


I don’t do Celebrity gossip, because I don’t care about celebrity, which isn’t as funny as it sounds considering every single useless posts of mine has paparazzi pics in it. That’s just a trick to get people to read the site. Anyway, Lohan from Myspace, who I am convinced is fake, but love her regardless, because I am connected at the soul with all things Lohan (even people pretending to be her on the internet), sent me this myspace conversation with the drummer from McFly. So here I am posting it.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Harry
Date: Jul 11, 2006 2:28 AM

“publicity stunt.”

hmmm…yeah whatever then. lie to all your fans. hey, it was good while it lasted ay!

i dont hate ya but i can’t believe you are making me out to be the lier!

harry

Lohan’s Response:

—————- Original Message —————–
From: “FAKE LOHAN’s MYSPACE”
Date: Jul 11, 2006 1:49 PM

im making you out to be the liar?

honey please. you do not go around telling people our business, and i told you that from the jump.

i’ll do what i want to do, im a big girl. thanks for the dick cunt

When I asked Fake Lohan why she wanted me to post it, this is what she said:

i thought that would be cute enough for your site. i want it to be known that we are friends, and not fuck buddies.

I love fake Lohan more all over my face.

UPDATE: Some New Pics From The Set Because No One Cares….


Visit Harry, the drummer from McFly’s Myspace HERE

Pics Via Splashnews (they linked me on their sidebar so click this link assholes)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

11

Jul

I am – DrunkenStepLinks of the Day

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Today was a day of serious loss. I lost my love interest to some dude who does shitty impressions because I am married, impotent and apparently a liar. I lost my brother Hector’s iPod that he left behind and I tried to fedex to him, but forget the tracking number because I am not good with everyday things like that. We all lost the bitch in the Depends commercials and the schizo from Pink Floyd. Lucky for you, I didn’t lose my internet connection and here are some links for the day…..fuckers.

Celebrities Photoshopped to Look Ugly GO

Jennifer Ellison Shows Off Her Box GO

Six Different Girls Naked to Make You Feel Straight GO

I Don’t Know Who Jodie Marsh Is GO

DrunkenStepfather Approved Street Art GO

The Rapture are a Band, This is Their Hipster Video GO

Her Name is Miss Vallorie and She Has Fake Tits GO

This Dude is Actually Stalking Lohan GO

Girls who beat each other up are girls worth knowing GO

This Dude Does Impressions Because He Doesn’t Do Women GO

Merlin Bronques has some new LastNightParty Hipster Upskirt Pics GO

Adriana Lima and Ana Beatriz Barros Together in Picture GO

One of my Reader’s Band, That Sounds like Every Other Band GO

Large Penis Support Group Discuss Sex with Arabs. GO

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