I figure there’s not enough Jessica Simpson on this site. The truth is that she’s going to be washed up in about a week, or whenever he cunt of sister launches her album with her new nose, so I figure let’s get it all in before my dreams come true. The dreams I’m talking about are dreams of Jessica tapping into her repressed memories of when daddy and the Baptist dad’s in the community used to gang finger-bang her when she was 7. You see, when a molested girl realizes she was a molested girl, shit’s gonna hit the mother fucking bottle, trying to forget. To date, she’s been living in the hustle of glitz and glam, too busy to think about her past and constantly working towards making the next million dollars. Now that her husband’s got a new slut, her dad’s got a new project (Ashley) and dudes don’t wanna fall in love with her, they just wanna bang her without a condom and cum in her ass, she’s gonna find herself alone. When alone and depressed, thinking about her childhood is about all she’ll be able to do and all that’s when all the BAD things that happened come to light. I predict an Oprah special feature in about 8 years with a Meth Addicted Prostitute who was once America’s Princess, and motherfuckers, I’ll be the first in line to give her that hit of meth no matter how AIDSed up she is….

Yes, I realize she’s obviously making some gay’s wish come true by shopping with the queen. It must be some kinds of AIDS charity, it is the gay disease you know….

I fucking love the dude with the Camera phone… you know he’s gonna show that shit to all his fucking friends for the next 6 months….if anyone knows him get him to send it in to the site.

That’s the story I heard.

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I refuse to call them BRANGELINA. Just like I refuse to call BRITNEY SPEARS’ bodyguard the MANNY and just like how I refuse to call TOM CRUISE and KATIE HOLMES’ relationship TOM KAT or BEN AFFLECK and JENNIFER GARNER/JENNIFER LOPEZ’s relationship BENNIFER…or any other ridiculously embarassing name that all you celebrity obsessed readers find witty. They aren’t witty – they are stupid and pretty fucking lame. That means you deserve AIDs along with the cunts who came up with them…..Speaking of CUNTS Angelina’s is probably pretty sore these days. I wonder if she’ll ever whip back to her old shape, always the gamble when getting a bitch pregnant.

Angelina All Full of Cocaine Milk (She used to spend time in Montreal and I met her dealer, he said she used to buy a fucking SHITLOAD of coke, kinda expected though)

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I refuse to call them BRANGELINA. Just like I refuse to call BRITNEY SPEARS’ bodyguard the MANNY and just like how I refuse to call TOM CRUISE and KATIE HOLMES’ relationship TOM KAT or BEN AFFLECK and JENNIFER GARNER/JENNIFER LOPEZ’s relationship BENNIFER…or any other ridiculously embarassing name that all you celebrity obsessed readers find witty. They aren’t witty – they are stupid and pretty fucking lame. That means you deserve AIDs along with the cunts who came up with them…..Speaking of CUNTS Angelina’s is probably pretty sore these days. I wonder if she’ll ever whip back to her old shape, always the gamble when getting a bitch pregnant.

Angelina All Full of Cocaine Milk (She used to spend time in Montreal and I met her dealer, he said she used to buy a fucking SHITLOAD of coke, kinda expected though)

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I was watching THE VIEW and had to listen to LORRAINE BRACCO, the bitch from Goodfellas/Sopranos talk about her failed marriage to HARVEY KEITEL and how they went through some horrible divorce. KEITEL also tried to get custody of their daughter and after seeing these pics of her, I realize why. If I was her dad, I would want my hand in raising her, and by raise her I mean have sex with her, only because I am in love with Stella Keitel.

Yes that was an incest joke you motherfucker. I don’t have kids so talking about fucking my daughter is like talking about fucking the hot bitch who works at the movie theatre. It’s not like I can afford to go to the fucking movies, but I like to pretend there is a hot bitch who works there. So fuck off.

I know that’s the fat kid from the Sopranos, I don’t need you pointing it out in the comments like I overlooked the shit. Thanks in advance you fuckin cunt.

That was fun to write.

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Lovin’ this no writing bullshit….since it’s easier for you fucking retards to read…..here we go.

“We call this driving Miss Daisy, without the age difference.”

How’d did you like that. Did you LOL you fucking lesbian piece of shit cocksucker. I know a lesbian can’t be a cocksucker – but the reason she is a lesbian is because her dad made her suck her cock. The Irony. This is the shit Alanis Morisette writes about. I finally get it.

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Lovin’ this no writing bullshit….since it’s easier for you fucking retards to read…..here we go.

“We call this driving Miss Daisy, without the age difference.”

How’d did you like that. Did you LOL you fucking lesbian piece of shit cocksucker. I know a lesbian can’t be a cocksucker – but the reason she is a lesbian is because her dad made her suck her cock. The Irony. This is the shit Alanis Morisette writes about. I finally get it.

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Ashley Benson is the 16 year I would fuck of the day. Thank god I live in Canada and 14 is legal, otherwise I woulda been arrested a long time ago….you know for stickin’ things where they shouldn’t be stuck.

How’s that for not writing you motherfuckers…you like that better than my usual life changing commentary. I hate all of you…remember that.

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This no writing thing is a lazy man’s game, and in keeping it up, since people find my site has too much writing, and don’t understand the jokes. I decided to quote Perez Hilton, everyone’s favorite useless celebrity blogger who we all know sat with the fat girls in the school cafeteria growing up. Because everyone seems to think his watered down shitty commentary is worthy of inviting him to celebrity events and pays him enough to have apartments in NYC and LA. Already too much writing but get ready for the punch line – it’s fucking genius.

Hey, water is always better than projectile vomiting

LOL Perez. But it’s not a better than having random men blow their load all over your faggot face is it. CUDDLES.

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In keeping up my no writing protest for the people who hate my writing…here are pics of Jessica Simpson leaving a photostudio. I wonder if she was taking pics for her dad since the ongoing joke is he molested her. LOL.

Those are pictures of her at the Airport. Wow, look at all that luggage. She must own a lot of STUFF. This no writing thing is fucking bullshit and you people are assholes for asking me to write less.

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In keeping up my no writing protest for the people who hate my writing…here are pics of Jessica Simpson leaving a photostudio. I wonder if she was taking pics for her dad since the ongoing joke is he molested her. LOL.

Those are pictures of her at the Airport. Wow, look at all that luggage. She must own a lot of STUFF. This no writing thing is fucking bullshit and you people are assholes for asking me to write less.

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