I don’t like it when a girl can dance, it reminds me of ballet dancers with failed careers who have turned to stripping and that makes me sad, not because I hate strippers, but because I hate ballet dancers, it’s a way for gay guys to be teased by their peers, for russians to leave a communist country and for nouveau riches to feel classy…well guess what you WASPY fuck, your little princess is letting me grab her tits for 10 dollars! I bet you didn’t see that one coming did you? So the next time you go to a strip club, get the girl who can’t dance, because she’s working cuz she needs it and not to piss off her dad at the next country club galla when she drops that bomb on him….he’ll be all like “honey, I thought I was paying for your law degree” and she’ll be like “I don’t want to be a lawyer daddy, that’s your dream, I want to dance for Jesus”, but girl, that aint happening- cuz I’ll be with the bitch with no rhythm, who’s trying to work for her coin, making up for her weak dancing, but grinding just a little harder than you are…..now if you wanna see a girl who can’t dance for shit and is clothed, you best click the motherfucking link…

Video Here thanks Otty

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I don’t like it when a girl can dance, it reminds me of ballet dancers with failed careers who have turned to stripping and that makes me sad, not because I hate strippers, but because I hate ballet dancers, it’s a way for gay guys to be teased by their peers, for russians to leave a communist country and for nouveau riches to feel classy…well guess what you WASPY fuck, your little princess is letting me grab her tits for 10 dollars! I bet you didn’t see that one coming did you? So the next time you go to a strip club, get the girl who can’t dance, because she’s working cuz she needs it and not to piss off her dad at the next country club galla when she drops that bomb on him….he’ll be all like “honey, I thought I was paying for your law degree” and she’ll be like “I don’t want to be a lawyer daddy, that’s your dream, I want to dance for Jesus”, but girl, that aint happening- cuz I’ll be with the bitch with no rhythm, who’s trying to work for her coin, making up for her weak dancing, but grinding just a little harder than you are…..now if you wanna see a girl who can’t dance for shit and is clothed, you best click the motherfucking link…

Video Here thanks Otty

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I love how everytime a celebrity, and I use that term loosely, because I don’t really think being a soap opera star really makes you a celebrity. I think the television star is a lower grade of fame than people in movies, and that people who are in movies look down on those in TV. When they see them make a move from TV to the big screen they chuckle amongst themselves while sipping champange and cutting lines of coke. That’s pretty much a given though and I am just stating the obvious, and there is nothing funny in what I just said, but I am sure that people on TV are the punchline of most jokes, like any minority in everyday society…you know how you were out dropping “fat” jokes the other day, well replace the dumb “fat” part with any TV star and you just had a hollywood conversation. It’s like highschool all over again, only this time everyone’s a millionaires and good looking. I kinda feel bad for Eva, girl just wants to get a tan and go for a swim and perverts like you are jerking off to her pics 4 days later. It’s pretty dirty. Once you finish cumming, sit back and think about it for a second, your usual masturbation guilt should be much stronger than usual….and yes your dead granny is watching you sick fuck.

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There’s nothing wrong with a women who works out, but there is something wrong with a bitch jacked on steroids with a clit the size of a grown man’s thumb. I heard that shit back when I was 12, when my friend’s dad, the baseball coach with a moustache, who taught me about anal sex told me. Turns out he was right, about more than one thing. I always appreciate a man who takes it upon himself to teach kids the inner workings of sex….anyway – the point of this is to say that Brooke Shields’ has fuckin’ guns on her than make most men feel inadequate, and other men disgusted, luckily for those of you who like this shit, she’s highly skilled with a strap-on, at least that’s what Agassi told me after he lost his game yesterday. It’s hard to stay confident when your current girl is a better tennis player and your last girl’s got more testosterone than you.

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There’s nothing wrong with a women who works out, but there is something wrong with a bitch jacked on steroids with a clit the size of a grown man’s thumb. I heard that shit back when I was 12, when my friend’s dad, the baseball coach with a moustache, who taught me about anal sex told me. Turns out he was right, about more than one thing. I always appreciate a man who takes it upon himself to teach kids the inner workings of sex….anyway – the point of this is to say that Brooke Shields’ has fuckin’ guns on her than make most men feel inadequate, and other men disgusted, luckily for those of you who like this shit, she’s highly skilled with a strap-on, at least that’s what Agassi told me after he lost his game yesterday. It’s hard to stay confident when your current girl is a better tennis player and your last girl’s got more testosterone than you.

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I hope this is P Diddy’s Sister….that’s all I have to say about this picture.

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I hope this is P Diddy’s Sister….that’s all I have to say about this picture.

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I shouldn’t be one to dis other people’s style. I am sitting here behind a computer, in soiled underwear and a crusty white t-shirt I got 15 years ago. When you get older and have expenses like supporting a useless lazy fucking wife and her 2 kids, it kinda leaves my disposable income hurting. Not that I really care, because lookin’ homeless is hype, and all you motherfuckers who spend your parent’s hard earn money on copying my look are fucking idiots…I am telling you the homeless look is in right now, and people are droppin 300 dollars on shit stained jeans. I come from the school where we believe if you want shit stained jeans, go out buy a bottle of moonshine and drink the shit, your bound to piss or shit yourself, but at least you know you aren’t a poser bitch. I got issues with band t-shirts too, they were all the rage a few months ago and I never understood why a kid would want to rock a reproduction of a ’70s album/concert. I never claim to know everything, but I truly believe that band t-shirts are some Old Navy shit and no one with any sense of style would be caught dead in one. That said, Paris’ homosexual friend’s got a Judas Priest shirt on, I am sure he was a huge fan back in ’86, when he was 2.

If you like band shirts and want to support a nice guy visit Trunk Ltd

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When you are 19 and rich, you’ve got a few options as to what you can do with your money. You can buy all the hottest gear available, but why bother when you get it for free. You can also take yourself on vacation, but who needs to when you get sent places for “work”. You can go to nice restaurants, which you do, but everything’s given to you, cuz it’s great promotion for the restaurant, so the only thing left for you to buy is cocaine and cars. All you motherfucker’s are raggin on my girl Lohan for being a cokewhore, what the fuck would you be doing in her place, even her mother’s going along on the ride, so she’s obviously doing all she can right now, and you can’t ask for anything more from a person in her prime. She’s looking good, and I am thinking about hooking myself on a date with her. If anyone out there’s got her number, send it my way, because there is nothing more that I want right now than to be drunk and molesting her, on her dime. I never claim that my posts are the best on the Internet, but I challenge you to find someone better. I have had enough of blogging bitches, that when my new site comes out, I am gonna start a war…because if you’re asking yourself what war is good for…I have to say shut your hippie mouth and get back to the pot luck, before all the vegan tuna casserole is eaten….asshole.

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So I got this girl on my contact list who claims to be Suzy from Planet Suzy, she sends me over a link to some girl celebrating her 2000th post on their message board with naked pics of herself. I am not one to judge when it comes to naked pics, but I am one to say that I think 2000 posts are about 2000 posts too many and that maybe you should take on new hobbies, which I assume you are trying now that you’ve got a digital camera…you amateur porn star, mommy would be proud. I love the digital camera. I don’t think I really need to go into why, because whenever I state the obvious, I make myself look like a fucking pervert when you are all the one’s actually scoring these kinds of pics off girls on the internet. I take the wrong approach, I beg, I demand, I negotiate, I cry….and it never seems to work out….sometimes I tell a bitch she’s ugly in hopes of her proving me wrong and in the 8 months I have been doing this, I have been sent one naked picture of some girl on myspace trying to prove to me that my stance on bush was wrong….anyway, that’s not the point…the point is that I don’t care if you are ugly or not, or if you’re rocking a pair of your daughters pyjamas, I just want to be a part of your naked pics, send them it to me like I was your agent, let me give you my expert opinion on what looks nice and what is incredibly wrong….you never took photography classes, just cuz you have a Canon point and shoot, doesn’t make you the next Helmut Newton….you know what I am getting at here?

Check out the Useless Junk Amateur showing her junk Here

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