There’s nothing wrong with a women who works out, but there is something wrong with a bitch jacked on steroids with a clit the size of a grown man’s thumb. I heard that shit back when I was 12, when my friend’s dad, the baseball coach with a moustache, who taught me about anal sex told me. Turns out he was right, about more than one thing. I always appreciate a man who takes it upon himself to teach kids the inner workings of sex….anyway – the point of this is to say that Brooke Shields’ has fuckin’ guns on her than make most men feel inadequate, and other men disgusted, luckily for those of you who like this shit, she’s highly skilled with a strap-on, at least that’s what Agassi told me after he lost his game yesterday. It’s hard to stay confident when your current girl is a better tennis player and your last girl’s got more testosterone than you.

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There’s nothing wrong with a women who works out, but there is something wrong with a bitch jacked on steroids with a clit the size of a grown man’s thumb. I heard that shit back when I was 12, when my friend’s dad, the baseball coach with a moustache, who taught me about anal sex told me. Turns out he was right, about more than one thing. I always appreciate a man who takes it upon himself to teach kids the inner workings of sex….anyway – the point of this is to say that Brooke Shields’ has fuckin’ guns on her than make most men feel inadequate, and other men disgusted, luckily for those of you who like this shit, she’s highly skilled with a strap-on, at least that’s what Agassi told me after he lost his game yesterday. It’s hard to stay confident when your current girl is a better tennis player and your last girl’s got more testosterone than you.

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I hope this is P Diddy’s Sister….that’s all I have to say about this picture.

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I hope this is P Diddy’s Sister….that’s all I have to say about this picture.

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I shouldn’t be one to dis other people’s style. I am sitting here behind a computer, in soiled underwear and a crusty white t-shirt I got 15 years ago. When you get older and have expenses like supporting a useless lazy fucking wife and her 2 kids, it kinda leaves my disposable income hurting. Not that I really care, because lookin’ homeless is hype, and all you motherfuckers who spend your parent’s hard earn money on copying my look are fucking idiots…I am telling you the homeless look is in right now, and people are droppin 300 dollars on shit stained jeans. I come from the school where we believe if you want shit stained jeans, go out buy a bottle of moonshine and drink the shit, your bound to piss or shit yourself, but at least you know you aren’t a poser bitch. I got issues with band t-shirts too, they were all the rage a few months ago and I never understood why a kid would want to rock a reproduction of a ’70s album/concert. I never claim to know everything, but I truly believe that band t-shirts are some Old Navy shit and no one with any sense of style would be caught dead in one. That said, Paris’ homosexual friend’s got a Judas Priest shirt on, I am sure he was a huge fan back in ’86, when he was 2.

If you like band shirts and want to support a nice guy visit Trunk Ltd

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When you are 19 and rich, you’ve got a few options as to what you can do with your money. You can buy all the hottest gear available, but why bother when you get it for free. You can also take yourself on vacation, but who needs to when you get sent places for “work”. You can go to nice restaurants, which you do, but everything’s given to you, cuz it’s great promotion for the restaurant, so the only thing left for you to buy is cocaine and cars. All you motherfucker’s are raggin on my girl Lohan for being a cokewhore, what the fuck would you be doing in her place, even her mother’s going along on the ride, so she’s obviously doing all she can right now, and you can’t ask for anything more from a person in her prime. She’s looking good, and I am thinking about hooking myself on a date with her. If anyone out there’s got her number, send it my way, because there is nothing more that I want right now than to be drunk and molesting her, on her dime. I never claim that my posts are the best on the Internet, but I challenge you to find someone better. I have had enough of blogging bitches, that when my new site comes out, I am gonna start a war…because if you’re asking yourself what war is good for…I have to say shut your hippie mouth and get back to the pot luck, before all the vegan tuna casserole is eaten….asshole.

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So I got this girl on my contact list who claims to be Suzy from Planet Suzy, she sends me over a link to some girl celebrating her 2000th post on their message board with naked pics of herself. I am not one to judge when it comes to naked pics, but I am one to say that I think 2000 posts are about 2000 posts too many and that maybe you should take on new hobbies, which I assume you are trying now that you’ve got a digital camera…you amateur porn star, mommy would be proud. I love the digital camera. I don’t think I really need to go into why, because whenever I state the obvious, I make myself look like a fucking pervert when you are all the one’s actually scoring these kinds of pics off girls on the internet. I take the wrong approach, I beg, I demand, I negotiate, I cry….and it never seems to work out….sometimes I tell a bitch she’s ugly in hopes of her proving me wrong and in the 8 months I have been doing this, I have been sent one naked picture of some girl on myspace trying to prove to me that my stance on bush was wrong….anyway, that’s not the point…the point is that I don’t care if you are ugly or not, or if you’re rocking a pair of your daughters pyjamas, I just want to be a part of your naked pics, send them it to me like I was your agent, let me give you my expert opinion on what looks nice and what is incredibly wrong….you never took photography classes, just cuz you have a Canon point and shoot, doesn’t make you the next Helmut Newton….you know what I am getting at here?

Check out the Useless Junk Amateur showing her junk Here

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I have said that the bikini wax is dead, all the fashionable hipster sluts are rocking a little bush and the only bitches getting bikini waxes are 35 year old mothers and their 16 year old daughters who don’t really know what’s up because neither of them are fucking anyone. Girls, I prefer a little scruff on the muff. That was a rhyme that I just came up with, I am not a hip hop star so it was really fucking weak, but I will keep it there because I am too lazy to edit and my lack of skills on the cypher front don’t change the fact that Alyssa Milano, who is seemingly hot, is mad fucking hairy. At least when she was on Who’s the Boss at 15, her hormonal imbalance didn’t come into play yet, but as we know puberty’s a bitch, and she ain’t 15 anymore, that’s probably why she’s got more hair on her stomach than my Jewish neighbor, and trust me when I say, he’s one hairy cunt. I am not saying that I think 15 year olds are prime pussy because they don’t have used up pussies, I just think Alyssa Milano is hairier now than ever, and when you have a disability, it’s time to take action and I want to let you all know that I still love bush, but I don’t dig hair where it shouldn’t be… I hope that made sense you motherfucker, remember I am out of practice and sobriety has raped my soul.

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I know the site has been a piece of shit lately. I recognize that and don’t really care what you think. You need to learn to lighten up and realize that the world does not revolve around your useless needs. In an ideal world that hot girl you know would be eating out your ass while you’re watching gay porn and eating a burrito, but this is real life and we can’t have everything we want, including an updated daily drunkenstepfather.com site. But since you use me for entertainment, I have no sympathy, because I can only give so much, you fucking user.

I got this email today, and I don’t understand it, but if you’d like to resond to this bitch for me, get ‘er done.

You know that is mean,you being their stepfather and talking about them. I think if you are going to say something like that about them that you should tell them not the whole world,if you was my stepfather and i read, i dont know what i would do. But i am not going to tell you the rest of how i feel about you saying this because i love Mariah’s songs. And you may not like her as a stepdaughter or any thing but i still do not think that you should be saying things like that unless you tell her and her sister.

Email her Here, I think she’s 13, I know some of you probably like that, but don’t get yourself arrested, and if you do try to meet her in a park, and a swat team’s there waiting for your pedophilic ass, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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I have said that the bikini wax is dead, all the fashionable hipster sluts are rocking a little bush and the only bitches getting bikini waxes are 35 year old mothers and their 16 year old daughters who don’t really know what’s up because neither of them are fucking anyone. Girls, I prefer a little scruff on the muff. That was a rhyme that I just came up with, I am not a hip hop star so it was really fucking weak, but I will keep it there because I am too lazy to edit and my lack of skills on the cypher front don’t change the fact that Alyssa Milano, who is seemingly hot, is mad fucking hairy. At least when she was on Who’s the Boss at 15, her hormonal imbalance didn’t come into play yet, but as we know puberty’s a bitch, and she ain’t 15 anymore, that’s probably why she’s got more hair on her stomach than my Jewish neighbor, and trust me when I say, he’s one hairy cunt. I am not saying that I think 15 year olds are prime pussy because they don’t have used up pussies, I just think Alyssa Milano is hairier now than ever, and when you have a disability, it’s time to take action and I want to let you all know that I still love bush, but I don’t dig hair where it shouldn’t be… I hope that made sense you motherfucker, remember I am out of practice and sobriety has raped my soul.

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