Sweet cocaine has never done many people good. I have never heard success stories where people who turned to an addiction came out on top. It is a downward spiral. Lives fall apart, it ruins families and occassionally kills people. That’s right, it is a hell of a drug. It’s nice to see that Lindsay the coke fiend is still on it, it would be such a waste for her to have started a couple a years ago only to give up. She has lots of money, and with money comes the ability to postpone hitting rock bottom. Now in 5 years Lohan will age 10 years, in 10 years Lohan will either be dead or a stripper…and I like to laugh at other people’s misfortune. Here she is shopping, lookin’ jacked and battered by her habbit.

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Do you ever get in situations where you bring a nice girl home and you just can’t get it up? I didn’t think so, you haven’t had that much sex in your life, and the opportunity to stick it in something warm and soft always keeps you ready. Unfortunately you never really get the chance because no girl in her right mind will bother with you. I have been in situations, almost weekly where my fat wife tries to get me to stick it to her. My small penis makes this hard, because her big ass acts as an unpenetrable wall, so I do what every forward thinking man does, I hook her up with one of these machines, the first time bitch sits on the thing, it collapses, I lose $1000 that I don’t have and I am back to square one, with bitch trying to rock my cock…..this is Sex Machine of the day.

The Joy Rider fucking machine
Grab onto the silver handle and fuck yourself to orgasm! The Joy Rider has an articulated seat specially designed to make it easy, fun and safe for people to experience penetrative sexual pleasure. The Joy Rider is smooth, stable so you can concentrate on the pleasure you deserve. The machine relies entirely on your body movement to do all of its thrusting. There are no motors to plug in or breakdown, and no noise. More importantly, because Joy Rider responds only to your movement, you have complete control so it’s like a lover that can read your mind. How it works?

The Joy Rider has a seat which rocks in response to your movement. As the seat assembly moves forward or back in relation to the base, the thrust control arms move the pivoting thrust arm assembly upward or downward in relation to the seat. Joy Rider comes with a removable vac-u-lock plug which can be used to attach any vac-u-lock dildo to the thrust arm. Our 8″ vac-u-lock dong is included. We also offer 2 other vac-u-lock dildos that can be used with the Joy Rider (see below).

Advantages: Because of it unique design Joy Rider has advantages other Machines Don’t

* Is lightweight (25 lbs fully assembled) and compact, making it easy to carry and store.

* Requires no electricity or complicated setup.

* Is completely silent, ensuring privacy.

* Features thrusting controlled entirely by your movement, so the speed and depth of penetration is easy for you to vary and bring yourself to orgasm as quickly or as slowly as preferred.

* Is perfect for anal stimulation. That part of the body is full of nerve endings and can be a wonderful source of pleasure. Because the Joy Rider is easy to control you won’t have to be worried about being penetrated too hard or too fast.

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I like girls who have bad skin because with bad skin comes pimples and there is nothing hotter than a girl with a nice fatty white head for me to pop while stickin it in her pooper. I am kidding this shit is gross, and although the bald pussy may be popular cuz people like to pretend they are fucking 12 year olds, the pimply bitch better never be hot, cuz puberty is an awkward time for a reason motherfuckers…here are some pics I cam across of a zit on a tit.

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I remember a period in my life where I was unemployed and watched too much TV. Percentage-wise, I have probably spent more time without a job than actually working. I guess that’s because I have been an illegal alien in most places I have lived, but it also has to do with my work ethic. Holding a job is fucking hard when all I care about is my next drink. It’s a sad fucking story, and you aren’t my therapist so I will get to it….Topanga was that cunt who never put out on a show called Boy Meets World. Boy Meets World starred the younger brother of Kevin Arnold from the Wonder Years. This was a power-family in bad television.
Here are some pictures of her today.

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I know everytime I get a naked girl in my bed, which is unfortunately everynight, my fat wife can’t fit in her flannels anymore, and trust me, I have been suffering, but that’s not the point I am getting at here….the point I am getting at is that everytime I get a girl naked in bed, I like to set up the scene beforehand. The preperation usually includes clean sheets, a picture of a girl with her boyfriend at the beach on the night table, a bottle of booze, some cocaine and most importantly a midget asian man with a huge videocamera. I don’t know about you,but making an asian man’s dream come true is something I take pride in, seeing that smile on his motherfucking face makes all the hard work worth it….this has been the weird picture of the day….

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I have said it before, and I guess I will say it again, there is nothing like a video camera to make me motherfucking happy. I love how technolgy is evolving and people are becoming more and more comfortable with this shit so that when you propose the idea of filming your girl getting fucked, she jumps on it. It makes for good internet entertainment.

The other thing this does is confirms my position that young people do not know how to fuck. There is a serious lack of flow and passion, rhythm and fucking no holding back….

Check out the video clip of the day, it’s some amateur teenager sex with night vision. It’s situations like this that make me wish I had Premature Ejaculation issues.

Video Here

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I have no idea who she is, I guess she’s famous because she’s at a red carpet event and you know that people like us don’t get invited to that kind of shit. I did once have a red runner and I used to fantasize about being asked who I was wearing and how I felt about the the event, I remember thinking about all the flash bulbs going off, and how embarassing it would be for my seemingly black dress to be see-through upon exposure to those falshes. I guess I have something in common with Shiri, cuz bitch is showing the world her titties and her underwear and it is all from a simple mistake in dress selection. I believe all fabrics should be thin and sheer, it would make the world a better place, even when the fat bitches rock the shit, cuz I would be too busy checkin out all the other tits around me. I tend to not notice the uglies…don’t be so sensitive, I am not talking about you…..

Another Pic After The Jump

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It has happened to the best cokehead party sluts out there. You know, they get nice and drunk at the club and make their way back to the hotel room to finish off the night with an 8-ball of cocaine. Once in the hotel room, anything can happen, and it usually ends up in nice dirty sex. Sometimes the sex is a little dirtier than bargained for and shit happens, you know, it’s not your fault that you didn’t use a condom, you are young and you are high, you don’t really know how to deal with the situation at hand, and you know that this person must be clean, only because of who he is. Celebrities don’t have diseases, I know Magic Johnson has HIV, but dude’s in better shape than me, that’s just what happens when we are celebrities. We are pretty. We are invincible. I guess when this realization really hits home is 4 to 6 weeks after your coke binge hotel romp and a certain vagina starts to itch and burn like a motherfucker….well one can only assume that is what happened to Lohan and this picture brings that point home. Admit you aren’t all that surprised.

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It has happened to the best cokehead party sluts out there. You know, they get nice and drunk at the club and make their way back to the hotel room to finish off the night with an 8-ball of cocaine. Once in the hotel room, anything can happen, and it usually ends up in nice dirty sex. Sometimes the sex is a little dirtier than bargained for and shit happens, you know, it’s not your fault that you didn’t use a condom, you are young and you are high, you don’t really know how to deal with the situation at hand, and you know that this person must be clean, only because of who he is. Celebrities don’t have diseases, I know Magic Johnson has HIV, but dude’s in better shape than me, that’s just what happens when we are celebrities. We are pretty. We are invincible. I guess when this realization really hits home is 4 to 6 weeks after your coke binge hotel romp and a certain vagina starts to itch and burn like a motherfucker….well one can only assume that is what happened to Lohan and this picture brings that point home. Admit you aren’t all that surprised.

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I have gone over this so many times, but it never gets old. Fetish is funny, but only when a man with erectile disfunction can only get hard when involved in their said fetish. I know this can get pretty fucking weird, it can involve things like food products, or innocent people on the street, it can even get dangerous or sick when it involves children or rape. I guess that makes this product a little less harmless than some fetishes tend to be, but it’s still pretty funny to think that there is at least one man out there who can only get off when he has a mask like this on….think of the issues that may cause him, especially when he brings a girl home from a bar. I know, the chances of someone with a mask like this in his house actually meeting someone and getting them back to their home is pretty fucking rare, but we can pretend…..this is the internet!

Here is one very challenging hood! It has a “transparent” section which acts as a balloon, inflating on exhale, and deflating on inhale with two tiny holes for very low air outakes… well, you know what that means! This hood is perfect for the medical role play fetishists who like to do controlled breath play. The hood is very easy to put on, with a zipper back, which also helps, since it does take “training” to get use to it.

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