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2005

01

Apr

I am – Pamela Anderson See-Through Shirt

We saw Pamela Anderson in Saran Wrap yesterday and we determined she’s a dirtbag. We realize her hepatitis is lethal and that she got it from fucking lots of dirty rockers, but we can pretend it’s from a tattoo, we don’t mind. We think she’s washed up, used and abused and looks as good as any stripper with 20 years experience and coke addiction under her belt….the point of this story is that Pam went to the beach with her kids in a shirt that showed her nipples. Always a fine example of a well-rounded home….

More Pics After The Jump

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2005

01

Apr

I am – Condom Collar

I don’t believe in using condoms. I have always said that condoms are for pussies, and if you aren’t willing to take risks in life, you don’t deserve to live. I have slept with numerous hookers and dirty sluts alike, and if they ever had the nerve to ask me to strap-up, I would smack them upside the head like I was their pimp. This little invention is a belt that your condom attaches to, it’s probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen, but if people are willing to use it big up. I can picture the sexual encounter now….one second baby….I just need to put my condom belt on, because using a condom alone doesn’t kill the mood enough. If you are this scared of fucking, maybe you need to re-consider your place in life, join the fucking church or something. On that note….collar up!!!

The primary purpose of a collar is to help prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of venereal disease. The secondary purpose is to assist in sexual satisfaction by preventing premature ejaculation. It goes on easy and fast and when it’s on, you won’t even realize that it’s there. Both men and women love the results they experience while using a collar and, no doubt, it’s a male contraceptive’s best friend!

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2005

01

Apr

I am – Mischa Barton in a Bathing Suit

Mischa Barton is played out. She’s got an ugly boyfriend, we’ve all seen her nipple, she’s on the dumbest, yet most popular show on TV and she can’t act. I will always remember her as the girl in the “Sixth Sense” that threw up all over the place. Now I am not about to poison her, but at time wish her parents had….. That was mean, and may cause for legal action. It’s just jokes, I don’t wish death upon anyone, even horrible actors who rape our televisions every Thursday night. Rape is never a laughing matter, even when the girl gets preggers….you make me sick…

A couple more pics, after the jump….

Inspired by UseMyComputer

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2005

01

Apr

I am – Hypnosis Therapy for Premature Ejaculation

I have never had an issue with P.M.E (that’s what they call it in the industry). In fact, I have had the opposite problem, not lasting too long, but keeping it up. I think it has to do with all the fat sluts I get with, those girls couldn’t even get an inmate hard, even one who’s been locked up for years and the only pussy he’s had was named Mark, yes, I am talking from personal experience, and just so you know, Mark was a lovely human being…. Read how you can help fix your problems…

Read About It After the Jump…..

You Don’t Have to Live With Premature Ejaculation…..

If you suffer from Premature Ejaculation, otherwise known as rapid ejaculation or early ejaculation, you might not know that there are proven techniques which can help you.

According to the World Health Organization, early ejaculation is the most common of all male sexual difficulties. It is estimated that between 25% – 33% of men ejaculate before they want to.

Defining Premature Ejaculation

You might say that you suffer from premature ejaculation if you do not have the ability to control your ejaculation, you ejaculate before you satisfy your partner, or you ejaculate before or within several minutes after penetration.

There are a couple of reasons why you might find it important to be able to control your ejaculations. The first reason is that it is difficult to fully enjoy your sex life when you are preoccupied with trying to delay ejaculation. The second is that it is usually your partner who fails to achieve maximal sexual fulfillment when you ejaculate too early.

Finally, premature ejaculation tends to be a lifelong problem unless treated. Although some intimate sessions may last a little longer than others, the problem is always there, limiting full enjoyment. Consequently, you may have a tendency to avoid intimacy. This can affect your relationship and your confidence.

Seeking Help Without Embarassment

You might find it surprising that learning to control your ejaculations can be an easy and painless process. Sex therapists are often able to help people in just one session. If you find it embarrassing to seek professional help then we have alternative that may interest you.

Two of America’s most famous sex therapists have collaborated to create an audio program that will allow you to develop full ejaculatory control in the privacy of your own home.

This CD program consists of two parts. First, Joel Block Ph.D., best selling author and a senior psychologist at The Long Island Jewish Medical Center, guides you through proven techniques for ending premature ejaculation. Dr. Block literally has helped thousands of men gain ejaculatory freedom.

Second, Lonnie Barbach Ph.D., best selling author and faculty member of the University of California Medical School, takes you through powerful hypnosis sessions in order to reinforce what Dr. Block has taught you, while enabling you to maximize sexual sensations.

Enjoying Control Without Sacrificing Pleasure

What you will not find in this program are distraction techniques or anything else which would compromise pleasure in order to control ejaculation.

What you will find through the use of this program is that the more you are able to “be in the moment� and the more you are able to feel the full range of sexual pleasure that it becomes easier to naturally control the length of your sexual encounters.

This is the first and only program combining these two methods. The benefits of this program go far beyond just ending premature ejaculation. You will find a new sense of sexual freedom as you truly learn to appreciate and fully pay attention to your partner.

As with all of our products we offer you our unconditional one year money back guarantee. We hope that by eliminating all risk, you feel free to experience full ejaculatory freedom.

Lasting Longer is a 2-CD program.
The information that will be presented is:

CD1
Dr. Block guides you through proven techniques for ending premature ejaculation and experiencing a full range of sexual pleasure.

CD2
Dr. Barbach provides you with two hypnosis sessions that will help you experience ejaculatory freedom and the ability to be fully in the moment. Through the elegant use of metaphor, the first session distracts your conscious mind while allowing for unconscious resources to emerge. The second session is shorter and reinforces the first session.

Visit the site Here

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2005

01

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Preggers Bikini

I know these pictures have done the rounds, they have been in tabloids and all over TV. I was on a drinking binge the last 2 weeks, I even forgot my name. So I needed these motherfuckers up on here…..if you have seen them, no need to say they be old, cuz I know. Speaking of old…what do you think Britney’s laundry hamper smells like – you sick fuck….even worse…you are looking at a pregnant chick’s tits… that’s twisted!

Pics after the jump!

Inspired By Popdoh and other fine sites around the internet

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2005

01

Apr

I am – Still Lovers

We all know how I feel about dirty doll fuckers. I think they are weird. But more importantly, I think they are fascinating. People with such warped emotional and psychological issues that loving an inanimate object gives them a certain level comfort and normality. It levels them out. Now, I guess I shouldn’t dis, because I would rather my neighbor be fucking a big rubber doll than my 10 year old daughter, however, I still think weird. There is an artist who felt the same way I did, and explored the life of people with dolls – photographically. For the record, the only inanimate object I ever loved was a full bottle of Aqua Velva….motherfucker

Her name is Elena Dorfman and Check out some of the pics after the jump!!

Inspired by SexBlo.gs

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2005

30

Mar

I am – Kirsten Dunst Nipples

She’s not hot, no one ever said she was. She is rocking a hospital gown, and bitch has nipples, like most women do. Breastfeeding your child is important and Dunst came prepared…that’s just how she’s livin’….motherfuckers

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2005

30

Mar

I am – T-Shirt of the Day

Alone, on the ferry, something we can all relate too. Maybe there is no ferry in your welfare town, and maybe you have all the friends in the world, but at times, I know that you feel like you are the only person who understands. I know that in my life, I always looked for acceptance and support with the wrong kind of women, the ones who charge by the hour, but reasonably, not the $200 escorts. Who the fuck do you think I am??? I can’t afford that shit….I am talking a girl who’s happy with some rock, a shower, and some amazing head. I know you’re thinking that eating out a whore is gross, but seriously…it’s got mad flavor.

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2005

30

Mar

I am – Shitty Gift of the Day

I have been invited to a few important functions in the upcoming months. I have been doing a little research as to what type of shitty gift I can bring that is both affordable and as tacky as I am. This is what I found. The way I see it is that people who get shitty gifts should not complain, because I grew up with nothing. Christmas morning, was like any other day, my mom was working a John in the corner of the room while my brothers and I played with mud, and my dirty uncle jerked off…..assholes.

The Spirited White Tiger
The spirited white tiger watches and waits for his quarry on a snow covered ledge.7 1/4″ x 4″ x 5 3/4″ high.

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2005

30

Mar

I am – Pam Anderson in Saran Wrap

Pam Anderson is old and washed up. You probably want to fuck her, because she brings back memories of saturday nights watching Baywatch. I know that show brought you many prepubescent orgasms, so your dream to bag this chick is still alive inside you. You look at your fat wife, who you work all day to support, and you think to yourself “Fuck, I wish she was Pam”. Here are some pics of Pam wrapped up like leftovers, something ironically so close to the truth that I just downloaded that Alanis song…..

More Pics After the Jump

UseMyComputer

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