Nicole Richie is out of the Simple Life show, thank god, she’s too good for that shit. I have said it before and will say it again Nicole Richie is better than that whore Paris, and all her trust fund uselessness has to offer. Anyway, the point of this post is to say that now that our favorite girl is out of the Simple Life,which she carried on her shoulders, Paris is out recruiting. With recruiting for a new cast member comes very simple requirements: tell her how fantastic she is. This doesn’t apply to giving head, we all saw this bitch try to fuck and trust fund or not, she doesn’t know what’s up when a penis is in hand. Here are some pics of one of the many D-List celebrities that are sucking Paris’ dick (yes Paris has a penis, no woman has size 12 feet) to get on the show. Kimberly Stewart (whoever that cunt is) is working her way to the top. I guess her talent alone won’t take her the places she dreamt of being as a young girl. I am no expert on Paris Hilton, but I do know that she aint got shit without Nicole and for that I present all you motherfuckers with a Kimberly Stewart nipple slip.I know it’s weak, fuck you. It’s not my fault I hate you, I blame my heart palipiations.

Note: Half of this crackwhore’s nipple is hanging out, now this may not mean much to you, but when I find full nipple, I will hook you up.

PEACE

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She is probably older than your mother and hotter than your girlfriend, that is if you had a girlfriend, which you probably don’t because you are weird. I get uncomfortable just knowing you are reading this shit. It’s not your fault you have an hyperactive pituitary gland. At least you can find happiness chatting with middle aged men pretending to be 16 year old sluts on IM. Dude – chatrooms are what dreams are made of and Pamela Anderson’s got nothing to do with that, except for her friendster blog, which is about as exciting as the last time I accidently walked into a gay bath house. I seriously thought I was going in for a massage and a steam….I wasn’t fully prepared for what I got….I don’t thing anyone ever really is…

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I have an unhealthy love for two things in life, coleslaw and women. I spent a couple of months a few years ago, living off coleslaw, and I have been into vagina for as long as I can remember. I am happy that someone took my two passions and threw them into a kiddie pool to make my dreams come true. I remember buying a vat of coleslaw from the local bulk food store and thinking to myself, if only I had a couple girls to wrestle in this shit….the sweet smell of vinegar all over their bodies. These pictures are from a Biker Week event somewhere and the women are wrestling in coleslaw. I would love to get in that shit with a fork and start eating, I would hate to see all that good coleslaw go to waste…

Check the pics here

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This is the most pretentious shirt I’ve seen in a while. It claims it is new urban. What is new urban?

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You can’t control love. That’s what my granny always told me. She also used to tell me that you can’t rape the willing, but I have found out that she was wrong, and spent some time in jail cuz of it. Thanks Grandma!

This is a message from a lovely girl that deserves to be loved in various positions, by various men, while I watch. She sent me this message. I plan on selling her so I can buy myself some lunch. Send her messages and encourage her to send me naked pics. Good work perverts.

Date: Apr 12, 2005 2:42 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: DUDE
Body: ill let you watch me shower when you post it on ur site that i read every day

I just made you famous, bitch.

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I remember 1988 pretty well. The highlight was Elle Macpherson’s Sports Illustrated shoot. She was on the beach in a yellow bikini and when wet you could see the bitch’s nipples. It was then and there that I decided to hate all things that come between me and nipples like thick fabric, bras and of course dry clothes. Elle Macpherson may be old and washed up now, but still worth a round or two, depending on how drunk you are. There is something magical about her nipple placement, it aims up mother fucker, try finding that at your local truck stop…..now I know her tits may remind you of a fat drunken man, but keep your eye out for the naked kid, I know that’s what some of you are lookin at – it’s not you’re fault you’re socially inept, a virgin, and possibly a closet case. I blame circumstance.

More pics after the jump….

Want more of Elle Naked, pervert? Check her out at MrSkin

Via – PHUN DOT ORG

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I have never seen any of her movies, actually ignore that statement, I saw Serendipity and it fucking changed my life. There is nothing like a Sandra Bullock movie to remind me that my life sucks, my penis resembles a vagina, and I have man breasts. The good thing about it is that now we can look at the Beckinsale pictures and remind ourselves that she too has breasts and a green bikini with bootyshort bottoms. Like I have said here time and time again, the bootyshort is the new thong, and that is the reason I make my girls parade around the house in them. I am training those sluts good…..

More Bikini Pics After The Jump

“See more of Kate Nude at MrSkin.com�

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I have no idea what this dude’s up to, it actually really confuses me. I don’t have that much of a problem with the sex dolls anymore, after a lot of soul searching I realized that my wife is kinda like my sex doll, only I don’t have sex with her because the thought of it repulses me, but when I did have sex with her… I pretended it wasn’t real. That said – here’s the sexdoll forum post of the day!!!

Kind of sad today, Adriana and I put the four girls into the van for the trip to Pittsburgh and their new home. Valentine, Jamie, Galatea, and Alyson are buckeled in and we are about to start the 9 hour drive. Adriana practacally gave the dolls away… $1125 each including the cost for us to rent a van, pay for the hotel, and drive them there. I just hope the new owner appreciates the effort on our part… and the history behind these girls.

Victorias-Closet is gone, and now so too are the girls. Just like the last 6 years never happened. The bedroom now has a large empty space, and Victoria’s Closet is now only a place to store clothing and winter coats.

Jerry

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This nipple is old, in all senses of the word. This nipple has both floated around the internet for a long time, and is located on the body of a senior citizen. I know that whenever I watch the news (never), I like to think about the nipples beneath the shirt of the women I see (always). Now, Diane Sawyer may be a washed up hag, and I know that most of you like your ladies to be young and fresh, but at least she has enough respect for the few men that jerk off to her, to show those motherfuckers some tit. Now girls, if you are reading this, guys like nipples and you should be kind enough to pull a Diane Sawyer and show us yo’ motherfucking titties…that’s all I have to say about that.

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So we’re back. Not because we wanna be, but because our links on this site get us so much fucking traffic that I owe it to my boy, Jesus.

Anyways, I just turned on the TV and flipped it to CBS in hopes of catching Craig Kilbourne’s Late Late Show. Instead I find myself listening to some muttering idiot with a scottish accent named Craig Ferguson.

Who The Fuck is Craig Ferguson? (after the jump)

Okay, I know he played Drew Carey’s boss on The Drew Carey Show. And I know he has been in a slew of movies, but why the fuck is he hosting a talk show? A show who’s audience demographic has a combined IQ of 12 and a half, and southern lisps. I am half scotish and, for a good 5 minutes, couldn’t understand a word he was saying. What happend to Kilbourne? Did his cameo in Old School as the rude, cheating boyfriend ruin his career? ‘Cause im pretty sure it didnt make him any more famous.

The show is called “The Late Late Show” for a reason; ITS LATE! And when its late i wants to listen famous people talk about nothingness and jokes about clinton getting his dick sucked, and I wanna hear it in english!

CBS – This dude has got to go!

I tried to find an email for CBS, but failed miserably. Instead, anyone who agrees with me can call: 1-212-975-4321 and tell them how much this guy sucks.

The phone number is for the advertising department, which, in my opionion, is even funnier.

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