My life is pathetic because the highlight of my day involved me seeing an insanely hot girl walking her dog around my hood, that forced me to discreetly follow home, like that will increase my chances of getting her naked….but if ever I become I rapist…I know my first stop…. Your life is pathetic cuz […]

There used to be a girl who used to come over and put on vagina puppet shows 5 years ago. We never fucked, she would just knock on my door, I’d answer and she’d have her skirt hiked up, running dialog, like if she could borrow some milk, all while making her vagina talk. These […]

Don’t make jokes about how you are going home to teach your 10 year old daughter sex ed with your dick when you are in public places….especially when you don’t even have a 10 year old daughter….unless of course you want lengthy conversations with police who followed you the fuck home from those public places….to […]

I have decided to make a move, not to Hollywood to try my luck at acting. Not to NYC to try my luck at producing broadway shows, but from my couch to the kitchen to get more beer that is making me so fat that the task of getting beer has become a huge fucking […]

I spent the better part of my night last night surrounded by hundreds of women, unfortunately they all ignored me cuz I didn’t belong, but luckily there was open bar so I made myself at home….and it turns out that when you are the weird guy everyone pretends isn’t there, girls don’t notice when you […]

It is some french holiday here so all the french sluts are out getting drunk and I figured I should too, so I skipped out on posting and decided to go drinking in the french part of town, where I was greeted by toothless trash and haggard stripping looking women who were drinking cheap beer, […]

It is the weekend…why the fuck are you on your computer. Click the links anyway…but seriously motherfucker…get a fucking hobby….there’s gotta be bitches in bikinis you can creep on somewhere around you…do that…even if you’re fat, useless, poor and boring…it’s better than not doing it…cuz real tits are hotter than shit you find on a […]

I am not entirely sure what is wrong with me – but I know it can’t be good. I think eating nothing buy no name brand chips and drinking shitty beer has finally caught up with me. I am fatter than ever and death may be around the corner…but I could also be being dramatic […]