I decided earlier today, that like Tila Tequila, I will pretend that Casey Johnson & Johnson is my fiance, my wifey, who I am going to marry in heaven and change my name to Jesus Johnson & Johnson for. I figure faking it will make me millions, I’d get her inheritance and I’d be set […]

Merry Christmas To All and To All a Good Night…you gang of fucking assholes… Olivia Wilde’s Ass is Mighty, Mighty Fine GO Bad News Everybody, Christmas Has Herpes This Year GO New Developments From the Courtney Love School of Parenting This Bitch is Giving Joan Crawford a Run for Her Money GO Because It’s Christmas […]

I wonder how many people have died masturbating and not the kind of masturbation that kills like with electronics in showers or with belts wrapped around your fucking neck. You know, dying from good old, jerkin’ off. Back when my dick worked and I was a lot younger and a lot more insecure, I always […]

I used to watch Oprah almost daily. I was doing this for as long as I’ve been living the housewife dream, you know living off my woman’s bank account and sitting on my ass all day. I’ve worked her into the site, I’ve worked things I’ve seen or her show onto the site and then […]

I found the girl who played the voice of some Disney character on Facebook thru some guy I hate but who I am facebook friends with….I recognized her name because I’ve seen pictures of her in a thong, so I added her. She ignored me and I hate being ignored, so I wrote her this […]

Despite popular belief, the stepLINKS do not get me laid, but then again either has pretending I have chocolate or a burger or a slice of pizza or cookies or really any baked good for that matter in my pants in a room full of fat chicks like the girl in this picture did, so […]

I should be on the beach staring at asses, instead I am looking the one clean pair of underwear I have in the eye and deciding if I should wear them or not, despite them being women’s underwear. My life is not as great as you’d expect, it’s really fucking gutter but at least I […]

I write too much, I drink too much, I try to fuck strange women and fail too much, I waste time too much and I spend too much time thinking about how I suck at life and it turns out I also post a lot of links, one would say too much links, if they […]

Here is a picture of my only reader who gets girls topless, my other reader is retarded and never leaves his house becaue when he does, his mutated face scares people and it makes him feel like shit about himself. I am dying, I am thinking it is Alcohol Withdrawal because I drank enough to […]