I guess Lohan is having fun at Coachella, cuz she posted this crooked ass picture of someone who is either her or her sister in a bikini, probably trying to fuck with our minds, or I guess it is possible that she’s fucked out of her mind, because her whole drug use, addiction, going to 90 days in rehab thing when she gets around to it, and when commercial, garbage, corporate sponsored music festivals in the desert are over, and I think the whole thing is funny. Whether she is master minding us or whether this is just her idea of a joke or if she doesn’t know what right side up is in more than just her driving, it is all perfect to me.

So pretty and peaceful by my pool right now with my brothers and sister @codylohan @mikelohan @alianataylor

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan, despite all the botox, is amazing and I’m not just saying that because I love emotionally damaged women who look beat the fuck up, sad, and in need of being saved by a pervert like me, all ready to pounce on them, because the fact is, no matter how broken Lohan is, she’s still Lindsay Lohan and she still makes a lot of money, lives the celebrity life of luxury, so fuck her and her problems and fuck anyone who feels sorry for this trainwreck, she’s the only with the last laugh, because she’s still fucking Lindsay Lohan, something I’d like to be doing, without a condom, like I was Sam Ronson’s dick.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

David Letterman asked Lindsay Lohan about rehab, because I guess he’s at the stage in his career where he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells and avoid questions the publicists outline that he can’t ask when agreeing to do his show, because he’s David Letterman, and it’s his fucking show. Not that Lohan has a publicist, I mean she’s pretty much at the bottom of the barrel, but I still think she’s fantastic, just not quite as fantastic as Letterman taking her to an uncomfortable place, and not pulling back, until he saw he wasn’t getting anymore out of her. I would have been a little happier if this ended in a cocaine fueled fit of rage, with chairs thrown, hair pulled, security called, but everyone kept their composure, even if you can see the war going on in Lohan’s head as she deals.

She’s the best.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan posted this picture to Instagram reminding me that she’s a delicate flower behind all the botox and fillers she gets at her plastic surgeon’s despite being 25 years old, but more importantly, that she was sent here from heaven, with the ability to make enough money to buy great tits, that I think could save the world, if only she used them for good, and by world I mean me, and by using them for good I mean rubbing them on my cock.

Seriously, seeing her in a robe, making sad faces, all done up, like a pornstar on a porn set, is pretty awesome, so awesome I hope this dream I am seeing comes true, and that the rest of the pics of the football team showing up to gangbang her to see if she still feels, come out tomorrow.

Lohan is a babe, a haggard, washed up, self destructive, career ruining babe, but a babe none the less and I want to marry her, at least for a publicity stunt to put me on the map.

Lohan is still the girl I’d stalk if I wasn’t so lazy.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I can only assume that this promo clip for Scary Movie 5 starring Lohan and Sheen in bed is 97% of the footage of them in the movie, it’s one of those trailer revealing all the well written, amazingly executed, genius jokes you just can’t high 5 hollywood for putting millions into the shit…and by that I mean…garbage…this shit is garbage…but what is real fucking garbage is just how bad Lohan plays herself, you’d think that’d be the easiest gig of her career, but instead she fucking fails, because I guess she doesn’t really know who Lindsay Lohan is….but she does have great tits.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Here is Lindsay Lohan in probably the least flattering bikini pic of her career. Almost as bad as Vanessa Hudgens in Spring Breakers. Which is a serious LOW point for Lohan and her awesome tits.

She’s lookin’ wrecked

I love girls who look wrecked.

98% of girls I have had sex with have been bruised the fuck up, lookin’ unhealthy as shit, all fucking weirdly shaped from self destruction, and if you hose them down with perfume, and ignore the fear of having your face eaten off by them, and just ride it out and hope they don’t steal your wallet and find out where you live, shit is actually a lot of fun, like a mini-adventure!

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

As much as people hate on Lohan, I’ve always been pretty loyal to her, or at least to her amazing tits. I believe that as much as she’s fallen off, and as much as she’s raped her career, there is still hope for her, or at least for her tits. To inspire, to create, to achieve greatness or at the very least to be masturbated to. She may be an ex-text-buddy, old facebook friend, ex-twitter follower to me…gone but never forgotten…because these tits, are fucking legendary and if they are in fact fakes, as rumored for many years, they should be a mandatory purchase for all women, because that one thing will make life a better place, because I know that Lohan’s tits make my life a better place.

Here they are getting off a helicopter, spilling out of her dress, legendary/

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lohan is the best. There’s so many rumors about her lately, from homewrecking, to lesbianism with Kristen Stewart, to being asked to leave the set of the show she’s on, to ditching rehab for Coachella, reminding me that she still fucking matters, something I’ve been saying forever, you see cuz as hard as she falls off, she’s still Lohan and she’s still got great fucking tits. I’m on her team, in her court, and would love to be in her bed.

These are a few pics she posted to instagram…reminding me that I would also like to brush Lindsay Lohan’s teeth….with my dick.

Speaking of toothpaste….

Here are pics of her in bed with Charlie Sheen….from their show she is probably going to win a Golden Globe for hot tits….right?

I love me some Lohan.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Before my love for Lohan, or at least my fake stalker, hoping to get arrested as a publicity stunt, that no one paid attention to was replaced with Miley Cyrus, Amanda Seyfried, and pretty much any actress who still gets work and that I am not tired of hearing about, I was a huge fan of Lohan’s perfect tits, that after a lot of debate, have been decided are just awesome fakes. Turns out, I still am and that she’s still got a warm, spot in my bed next to my fat diabetic sweaty, apnea gurggling wife and pug.

When I see her walking bra-less and in a tank top, when she’s supposed to be in lock down, I can’t help but feeling all those things I once felt for her, which isn’t really much considering I have no emotions, and was more a “hey that girl on TV has great tits”…but it’s better than forgetting she fucking exists, even if she wants me to, since she stopped texting me 3 years ago, and I feel that was both of our peak….even if she’s still fucking perfect.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I am still a fan of Lindsay Lohan. I think she’s got serious potential and good things will eventually come her way….because let’s face it…she’s Lindsay Lohan…and herpes or not…I’d love to smear that vagina all over my face…

I was really hoping her sentence would lead to her in jail. I figure she could use the time out of society, and since she’s already a lesbian…or was a lesbian…she’d be in heaven…like on set of a lesbian porn scene….

With all celebs breaking the law, she got off easy….90 days in a lockdown rehab facility….30 days of community service…..18 months of therapy….

If only all people with her record got treated this way…breaking the law would be a lot more fun to do….but not all people are celebrities and don’t get that preferential treatment…

I’m just hoping she doesn’t die….cuz I’m into her…or at least her tits..and think they have a few more years in them….

She’s just a broken girl…and I don’t think this is really news….but I’m posting it anyway…cuz I like to live and breathe all things Lohan….when I remember she exists…like on sentencing days like today.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Hands down…Lindsay Lohan is my dream girl….she is the ultimate in Hollywood, she represents a perfect balance of class, luxury, mental health disorders, addiction, sex appeal, broken childhood, and broken dreams…..and one of life’s great tragedies was that I didn’t marry her back when I had the chance…not that I officially ever had the chance to marry her, but she did follow me on twitter, and I guess I could have proposed to her until she said yes in private messages….and now the only way I’ll ever touch her is if I become really famous for doing nothing….and if she falls off even harder than she already is….or if I become a airport security guy like this asshole mocking me with his vagina scans of her he should release to the internet – cuz sometimes it is better to lose your job for the greater good of man….

All this to say. I still love me some LOHAN.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

This is the trailer of some movie called InAPPropriate Comedy that is produced, or written, or directed by the genius millionaire hooker beater Vince over at the Slap Chop….the concept is pretty simple…inappropriate jokes….you know just a pile of nonsense with obvious joke after obvious joke that I probably could have and should have written…because I want to make money too…and despite hating everything in Hollywood…this looks pretty alright….staring Rob Schneider, Adrien Brody and most importantly Lindsay Lohan has a cameo where she plays a little Marilyn Monroe with a little panty flash…and the only thing disappointing in this is that Lohan’s doing these stupid comedies and not more serious straight to DVD rolls where we get to see her tits…because that’s all she’s become…a host body for those awesome tits…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I guess R.E.M. hasn’t died of AIDS yet, because they just released a video OVER 1 MONTHER AGO – that no one gave a fuck about until they realized that Lindsay Lohan was in it earlier today…..

Her cameo is all of 30 seconds and she’s rockin’ her fake porn lips, posing slutty half naked, while people take pics of her….all set to a horrible fuckinbg song that makes me want to get sodomized like I was Michael Stipe and die of AIDS so that I either get where he’s coming from in this pile of shit before not being stuck in a world where this kind of shit exists. Maybe I’m being Dramatic….but I guess that’s just what Lohan’s awesome tits do to me…cuz seeing her star in garbage like this…when she should be staring in Oscar Winning porn movies with me….is a bigger tragedy than her life is….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lohan was at Club Avenue when she got into some sort of argument with a female patron and it became physical. We’re told cops came and arrested Lindsay for allegedly assaulting her

Here is the pic of the girl Lohan went nuts on…because Lohan is nuts…

I don’t see much damage but I am sure it is there…and that’s just what crazy people do…all that pent up aggression of people mocking her when she really believed she was gonna prove herself with her last job..only to realize her producers, directors and all the people who suck her dick lied to her….humiliated her…and made a mockery out of her.,….

She’s a mess, she’s fallen off, it is a tragedy, cuz I coulda saved her..but she didn’t believe when we spent that night in a hotel together…and that’s an even bigger tragedy…

Crazy girl…I still believe….in you and your chins ability to win an oscar…

This kind of behavior is pretty obvious…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan