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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2014

31

Mar

Lohan for Terry Richardson of the Day

Lindsay Lohan and Terry Richardson are friends, I mean that is if people in Hollywood actually have friends, which I doubt, since they are surrounded by a bunch of using assholes who just make money off of them, including their own parents, at least in Lohan’s case…but you know superficial friends, to superficial people, are just as good as any kind of friends….everyone lets you down in the end, like these pics Terry took of Lohan, the delicate angel filled with face fillers and BOTOX…that are so fucking tame, don’t exploit her awesome implants we’ve all seen in movies and in Playboy, in what makes me wonder why they even hung out together in the first place…maybe to remind us all things just aren’t what they were and a new regime is about to take over…at least that’s how I interpret this, but maybe I’m just looking into things a little too much…but boring pics do that to me.

This is some tired, rehab, or AA meeting in a church basement shit…not fun at all…WHERE’S THE FUCKING SMUT….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

07

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Golden Shower on Jimmy Fallon of the Day

Lindsay Lohan apparently simulated sex with Sam Ronson, a gusher, thanks to her big penis sized clit, on Jimmy Fallon..

I couldn’t really watch the video, because I have better things to do than look at the beacon of Hope that is Lohan humiliate herself for some overrated variety show host I can’t stand watching, even though the rest of the world thinks he is sent from relevant comedy heaven…

But I did see the screenshots, and from what I saw, Lohan plays a good golden showered, rebuilt face, broken down actress…it’s like she’s done it before…this is up on some Oscar winning shit..

TO SEE PICS OF HER AFTER THE SHOW CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

05

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Trailer for Oprah of the Day

Lindsay Lohan has gone the reality show, put her personal shit out there, hang her dirty, cum soaked panties on display for the world to get a real life sense of her struggles, that will obviously result in people laughing at her real life struggles, not because they aren’t real life struggles, but because the general public wishes they had Lohan’s life and the fact she threw it all away, makes them hate her…

But not me…I want to see Lohan win an Academy Award…I want her to repackage herself as an older Jennifer Lawrence, who just books good roles, partially because I like the underdog, partially because I like a good comeback story, partially because I like her tits, partially because I want to be her friend, and by friend I mean have her herpes ridden vagina smeared on my face erotically…

I am a firm believer that people, especially celebrities, should keep their stories and personal lives to their fucking self, so I can focus on their bullshit movie roles, so that when I hear her cry in a movie I don’t think, I bet that’s what she did when Sam Ronson shoved his dick in her without asking…

You get what I’m saying here, and that is that Oprah is an exploitative cunt, like Dr Drew and like Lohan’s parents, milking the child star cow pretending to be helping her…and I just wish Lohan would let me save her…or just play with her tits.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

21

Jan

Lindsay Lohan Press Conference in Sundance of the Day

My girl who is no longer my girl ,Lindsay Lohan, seems to be making a comeback.

I like to think I keep track of what she is up to, but I am lazy and don’t actually care that she’s still alive. I just pretend that I am her number one fan, who is probably not her number one fan at all because I don’t really keep on top of anything she does, I’ve barely seen any of her movies, and I don’t really bother remembering all the nonsense that has happened in her crazy life…other than remember a few of the many dudes she’s fucked…and some random stories of her insanity that are entertaining…

I do however like to pretend we are connected at the soul, and I do actually believe she will win an Oscar one day, and I have been rooting for her comeback because let’s face it, she’s entertaining and has great implants….

Well, she was at a press conference in Sundance…looking nice and botoxed…and in unrelated news, I got a text from her old phone number, a number that hasn’t texted me in over 1.5 years…with a mysterious “?”…she’s so hard to figure out…but she is looking good enough for me…which isn’t saying much but is saying something.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

16

Dec

Lindsay Lohan is a Dream of the Day

I will forever love Lindsay Lohan…no matter how weird her face gets with all the fillers she jacks it up with…because all girls that I meet who are under 25 are into this Botox and Lip injection shit now, and the whole thing is silly cuz it makes them look 40 and like a Real Housewife, but it’s just something we gotta get used to and to every negative there is a positive, and a face that can’t move is one that’s easier to come on…

So here Lohan is making appearances, getting ready for her fourth or fifth wind, and all I want is to see her Vagina like it was 10 years ago…I want to see how that fucking thing has aged and she’s just so close to making those dreams come true…all she had to do was move that hand…look at the camera with sex eyes, spread eagled…but instead…she went the safe route…

The good news is that desperation comes in waves, there is hope, that we will have a pantyless Lohan…again…even if it was probably better that it happened when she was barely 20…vaginas have a way of not getting better with age…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

09

Dec

Lindsay Lohan’s Instagram of the Day

Lindsay Lohan was in Miami and I didn’t see her…even if she was accused of being involved in beating up Barron Hilton and other silly scandals…including a few bikini pics…I should have been there to witness in person since I am in Miami but I guess she lost my number…

But at least I get to experience what she experienced in instagram…sure it’s not naked, sure it’s not even half naked, sure it’s not even hot and barely looks like Lohan, but as long as they say it’s her, and it’s on her instagram, it’s enough for me to feel like we were together…on more time…even when we weren’t'…I guess there’s always next time…ideally with more penetration, facials, full body massages…with happy beginnings and endings….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

06

Dec

Lindsay Lohan Bikini Selfie of the Day

The bad thing about being in Miami is knowing that Lindsay Lohan is here, in her bikini, because I love Lindsay Lohan and all she has to offer the world…

But the other thing about Lindsay Lohan, in her bikini, barely showing off that bod as she’s suffocating her tits, with some dude I guess she’s fucking, let’s call him number 1478, because when it comes to Lohan’s vagina, shit is like a factory turnstile, just counting to see how many people have rolled through….I want to be 1479.

The last and most important bad thing about Lohan in her bikini, is not the smell, but rather seeing her on her phone, intentionally ignoring me, hiding from me, acting too cool for me and hurting my feelings…because all it would take is two minutes of her time to set up a little cuddle session for old times…

Lohan, we are in the same city, I feel your presence…the connected at the soul force is too much and it’s glorious…no wait..that’s just my hangover dripping down my leg…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

04

Dec

Lohan Posts Nipples on Instagram of the Day


I have been deleted from Instagram a solid 4 times. THIS is my 5th account…I was never too sure why I got deleted, but I think it was a 50/50 split between trolling and leaving amazing commentary on people’s pictures…and posting screenshots from random pornographic things…

You see, the average person is not allowed to post nipples to Instagram, but as you know, Lohan is not average at all, she’s also good for business, because if Lohan was to leave Instagram, at least 1 weirdo would follow…so she’s been posting her nipples…I guess she’s looking for love..and or male attention…thanks to being robbed of her childhood. Seems reasonable to me.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

22

Nov

Lindsay Lohan on Behind the Scenes of the Day

Lindsay Lohan’s social media manager put up these pics of her…behind the scenes of some set…I don’t know what this is a behind the scenes of…maybe it’s her Oscar winning performance…maybe it’s a commercial to help pay her rent…maybe it’s a TV show or photoshoot she’s doing a cameo in because she has no shame and is trying to get back into some level of relevance because despite looking 40…she’s still in her 20s…and most people in their 20s I know are still in college and haven’t started shit yet…so with all the people she knows and the fact that she’s Lohan…I believe in her second wind…anything can happen…even LINGERIE FOR TWEENS

Lohan’s looking good…it’s just too bad she never calls me anymore…one of life’s great tragedies..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

15

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Topless Instagram of the Day

I am all about Lindsay Lohan…sure she doesn’t talk to me anymore…but for 6 months of my life she did…and those 6 months…I am making into a movie…called “My 6 Months Texting Lindsay Lohan Before Meeting in her Hotel and Never Talking Again”…6 months that made no sense because some of the most depraved shit I wrote on the site was about her…my angle was get a restraining order…I need the press…which never happened…

She’s just a fucking talent, even if she hasn’t had her academy award winning role yet, and even if she was just thrown into the business by a horrible stage mom who stole her childhood, I mean, she’s still Lindsay Fucking Lohan….and she’s hitting social media up again..like this was a few years ago…and she’s doing it in ways that remind me that she knows how to show the low level fame whores in their bikini pics…why she’s the fucking famous one and they are just instagram famous…I am all about this shit yo…toplessness all strategic…cuz unlike the rest of the world…I don’t forget the things I once loved….or at least pretended to love on the internet..

I am a fan…keep up the good work….she’s a babe.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2013

11

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Panty Selfie of the Day

Dreams do come true…One door opens…another one opens…and by door I mean vagina…

This picture…of Lohan doing the low hanging fruit…bottom feeding selfie…tells me she’s in this to win it…and she’s going to win it back from all those amateur instagram fame whores with more followers that her by doing their same hustle…because she’s a professional…

I am her number 1 fan…I am so glad Lohan in panties happened…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

07

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Selfies Are My Porn of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a delicate flower sent from heaven to grace the world with her talent and grace…she is the closes thing to “Old Hollywood” Glamour we have in this world of gutter, prostitute fame whores…but the good part of “Old Hollywood” Glamour , overdoses, unpaid hotel bills, sex scandals and illegitimate babies left on the bathroom floor of high end restaurants while wearing Chanel…

I believe she will make a comeback and that one day the selfie she takes will be more an award winning cinematographer giving her the venue she needs to shine bright like the raped and pillaged diamond she is…

You know polish this babe off and pump some life into her like she’s pumping up her lips..

It is time for the revival…#TeamLohan for Life.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2013

05

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Face of the Day

Lindsay Lohan has been slowly turning herself into a muppet…because I guess when you’ve been raped of your childhood…you sometimes need to Michael Jackson yourself and turn your life into a creepy fucking playground to try to fill that void…and for some reason I like it…because it represents all that is broken in her…not to mention gives her something we can laugh at to help make her more and more insecure about herself…cyberbullying in a way that will one day lead her into an abusive yet loving relationship with me…because despite her face fillers…I think she’s perfect and I want to marry her…at least once…sexually…while not in a herpes outbreak..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

04

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Dressed Like a Used Tampon of the Day

Halloween may be over and that’s ok…because Lindsay Lohan will always be a used tampon to me…not just on one day of the year…but everyday of the year…making these pics of her relevant til the end of fucking time…

Now you may be asking yourself what makes someone a used tampon, does it mean they are trash, done, expired and of no use…no it means that it will take some fucking weirdo to dig her out of the trash and re-purpose her like an old pick-up truck, to give her that shine she once had…and I want to be that guy…

Because some people, people like me, love USED TAMPONS (NSFW)

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

17

Oct

Lindsay Lohan’s Hard Nipple for Instagram of the Day

Lindsay Lohan used to be the most random friend I ever had…she’d text me everyday and every night for over 6 months, until one day we finally met, she did some crackhead shit, and more importantly, I didn’t try to play with her amazing tits, and I never heard from her again, but more importantly, I never forgave myself for not playing with her amazing tits…and like you, I’m forced to stare at them on instagram pics she posted, rather than hate them as I tend to the herpes I caught from her, that seemed like a good idea at the time, because it was fucking Lohan at her prime, before fully falling off, a girl you’d all want to get herpes from, until she’s long out of the picture, but the herpes aren’t..them shits for life…yo…

So whenever I see her, I remember what was, appreciate what is, but cry on the inside, for never having touched such luxurious and amazing breasts…it’s not the first time I’ve failed as a man, but it’s up there as the worst time I’ve failed as a man….

I am still a Lohan Fan….and I am waiting for her to win that Oscar…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan