I am a firm believer that Lindsay Lohan will win an Academy AwardI am a firm believer that she will be making a comeback….I am a firm believer that a star as bright as her can’t ever be turned off…I am also a firm believer that Lohan and I are connected at the soul, I am also a firm believer that aliens live amongst us, that AIDS is a myth, that the smell of cheese between my wife’s legs is edible and not unhealthy…and so many other irrational, even crazy things…I am also totally inconsistent, but I will say this…Lohan is in a bra in the trailer and I like it…because her breasts are the most important thing to have happened in the 21st century…and that is one thing I know for sure…even if I don’t know much, but I know I love her…and that may be all I beed to know.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I guess Lohan is having fun at Coachella, cuz she posted this crooked ass picture of someone who is either her or her sister in a bikini, probably trying to fuck with our minds, or I guess it is possible that she’s fucked out of her mind, because her whole drug use, addiction, going to 90 days in rehab thing when she gets around to it, and when commercial, garbage, corporate sponsored music festivals in the desert are over, and I think the whole thing is funny. Whether she is master minding us or whether this is just her idea of a joke or if she doesn’t know what right side up is in more than just her driving, it is all perfect to me.

So pretty and peaceful by my pool right now with my brothers and sister @codylohan @mikelohan @alianataylor

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Lindsay Lohan, despite all the botox, is amazing and I’m not just saying that because I love emotionally damaged women who look beat the fuck up, sad, and in need of being saved by a pervert like me, all ready to pounce on them, because the fact is, no matter how broken Lohan is, she’s still Lindsay Lohan and she still makes a lot of money, lives the celebrity life of luxury, so fuck her and her problems and fuck anyone who feels sorry for this trainwreck, she’s the only with the last laugh, because she’s still fucking Lindsay Lohan, something I’d like to be doing, without a condom, like I was Sam Ronson’s dick.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

David Letterman asked Lindsay Lohan about rehab, because I guess he’s at the stage in his career where he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells and avoid questions the publicists outline that he can’t ask when agreeing to do his show, because he’s David Letterman, and it’s his fucking show. Not that Lohan has a publicist, I mean she’s pretty much at the bottom of the barrel, but I still think she’s fantastic, just not quite as fantastic as Letterman taking her to an uncomfortable place, and not pulling back, until he saw he wasn’t getting anymore out of her. I would have been a little happier if this ended in a cocaine fueled fit of rage, with chairs thrown, hair pulled, security called, but everyone kept their composure, even if you can see the war going on in Lohan’s head as she deals.

She’s the best.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan posted this picture to Instagram reminding me that she’s a delicate flower behind all the botox and fillers she gets at her plastic surgeon’s despite being 25 years old, but more importantly, that she was sent here from heaven, with the ability to make enough money to buy great tits, that I think could save the world, if only she used them for good, and by world I mean me, and by using them for good I mean rubbing them on my cock.

Seriously, seeing her in a robe, making sad faces, all done up, like a pornstar on a porn set, is pretty awesome, so awesome I hope this dream I am seeing comes true, and that the rest of the pics of the football team showing up to gangbang her to see if she still feels, come out tomorrow.

Lohan is a babe, a haggard, washed up, self destructive, career ruining babe, but a babe none the less and I want to marry her, at least for a publicity stunt to put me on the map.

Lohan is still the girl I’d stalk if I wasn’t so lazy.

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I can only assume that this promo clip for Scary Movie 5 starring Lohan and Sheen in bed is 97% of the footage of them in the movie, it’s one of those trailer revealing all the well written, amazingly executed, genius jokes you just can’t high 5 hollywood for putting millions into the shit…and by that I mean…garbage…this shit is garbage…but what is real fucking garbage is just how bad Lohan plays herself, you’d think that’d be the easiest gig of her career, but instead she fucking fails, because I guess she doesn’t really know who Lindsay Lohan is….but she does have great tits.

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Here is Lindsay Lohan in probably the least flattering bikini pic of her career. Almost as bad as Vanessa Hudgens in Spring Breakers. Which is a serious LOW point for Lohan and her awesome tits.

🙁

She’s lookin’ wrecked

🙂

I love girls who look wrecked.

98% of girls I have had sex with have been bruised the fuck up, lookin’ unhealthy as shit, all fucking weirdly shaped from self destruction, and if you hose them down with perfume, and ignore the fear of having your face eaten off by them, and just ride it out and hope they don’t steal your wallet and find out where you live, shit is actually a lot of fun, like a mini-adventure!

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As much as people hate on Lohan, I’ve always been pretty loyal to her, or at least to her amazing tits. I believe that as much as she’s fallen off, and as much as she’s raped her career, there is still hope for her, or at least for her tits. To inspire, to create, to achieve greatness or at the very least to be masturbated to. She may be an ex-text-buddy, old facebook friend, ex-twitter follower to me…gone but never forgotten…because these tits, are fucking legendary and if they are in fact fakes, as rumored for many years, they should be a mandatory purchase for all women, because that one thing will make life a better place, because I know that Lohan’s tits make my life a better place.

Here they are getting off a helicopter, spilling out of her dress, legendary/

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lohan is the best. There’s so many rumors about her lately, from homewrecking, to lesbianism with Kristen Stewart, to being asked to leave the set of the show she’s on, to ditching rehab for Coachella, reminding me that she still fucking matters, something I’ve been saying forever, you see cuz as hard as she falls off, she’s still Lohan and she’s still got great fucking tits. I’m on her team, in her court, and would love to be in her bed.

These are a few pics she posted to instagram…reminding me that I would also like to brush Lindsay Lohan’s teeth….with my dick.

Speaking of toothpaste….

Here are pics of her in bed with Charlie Sheen….from their show she is probably going to win a Golden Globe for hot tits….right?

I love me some Lohan.

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