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Archive for the Emily Ratajkowski Category

2014

18

Sep

Emily Ratajkowski Skinny and Wet Pic of the Day

Emily Ratajkowski posted this picture of her on her instagram looking pretty fucking skinny, and busty, which I guess is a good thing because that’s really her job description and if she was anything but skinny, or busty, she would have nothing but a giant, weird looking belly button to distract from her bird face that I think is overrated, but that I also think was maneuvered really well to to this level of fame.

I mean in ways she’s the Pam Anderson of this generation. Titty Model, to Topless Music Video Vixen, to getting cast in movies like she originally wanted to do….it’s like a modern day story of overcoming all obstacles she faced as a rich LA scenester with big tits..and fake lips…up against so many other rich LA sceneters with big tits and fake lips…

I don’t hate what she represents, tits get hits, tits lead to fame, if you got tits, show them to me, it may work out for you, I just kinda hate her.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

09

Sep

Emily Ratajkowski Big Cleavage of the Day

Earlier today, I dissected Emily Ratajkowski for being the homely, bird faced, not so hot, short legged, weirdo who scammed the system because she showed her tits, you know the way any and all girls should scam the system…because I am keen on the fact that her career is still budding and she’s doing well, making money, getting work…all for showing tits – it’s bullshit…it’s like call a short bird face a bird face -not a model/actress phenom – right

But then I realize I was able to do that because her dress wasn’t showing off any tit, you know her lifeline hidden on set, but now she’s posted these pics of her showing off tit, I just forgot all the dissecting I was doing…earlier…because now we can focus on what matters…because she’s dramatically hotter dressed like this than her earlier Lea Michele looking self…I guess her tits really help her beauty shine…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

09

Sep

Dissecting Emily Ratajkowski of the Day

I am already considered a misogynist asshole who is highly negative, maybe even a hater…when really I just poke fun at overrated girls who I feel don’t deserve all the fame and attention they get because they are talentless hacks who are just polarizing a situation that involves them fucking the right people, and in turn the right people giving them jobs. It’s a series of who you know, who you fuck, who your family knows and all of a sudden the media goes along with it, making them a lot of money, even considered stars in their own right, feeding their egos, and I just come in to say “hey, what’s up, you look like a short, stalky, dumpy Lea Michele the second you aren’t being photoshopped in nude photoshoots that show off your tits…”…it’s like this is a “top model”…or someone worth celebrating, when she looks more like someone I wouldn’t even look twice at on the street, because she’s not beautiful, she’s bird-faced, weak chinned, and shitty bodied…

Yet…people celebrate her all because she got into a nude music video and now she’s a fucking hollywood star…that’s pulling some serious fucking scams…and for that reason alone I break her down and point out her obvious flaws that I know you all see, but would still fuck, because you’ve seen her naked…

I just think there are way hotter, more interesting girls out there doing great things that deserve the attention this bratty Hollywood trash is getting…they just aren’t getting naked and photoshopped for the right people.

We call her Emily Rat Cow – because she’s got the face of a rat, the personality of a cow and her first name is Emily…

She’s not as hot as you think she is, she’s not as hot as she thinks she is, and I even think she may have cankles…

So dissecting girls, breaking them down, highlighting their flaws doesn’t make me feel good about myself, I just don’t like seeing people celebrate something they shouldn’t…false idols motherfuckers, I think there’s something in the bible about that….

Now, let’s focus on the real babes of the world, like the girl at the coffee shop who held my dog for me while I stared down her shirt….she was lovely.

Here’s lots of hype, little substance…and inspiration to all the talentless girls willing to get naked that there is hope for them…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

22

Aug

Emily Ratajkowski Big Tits for Ocean Drive of the Day

Emily Ratajkowski is in Ocean Drive and I guess she is pretending to be a Fashion model, and for some reason people are buying into it.

She’s short, she’s busty, she’s got very little business being a fashion model, but she’s posing here like she is one, and not the busy nude model she was just last year.

I guess she’s proving that models are a product of internet fame, and not so much weight, size or measurements….and any average faced girl can make it – so long as she shows her tits to the right person.

I am not hating on Emily Ratajkowski even if I call her EM Rat Cow. I like what she’s doing to girls everywhere by giving them the idea of getting naked and the hope that it will convert for them like it did with her…It’s like one music video created this and now she exists…and I guess the good news is that she’s got the tits that got her here in the first place…

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

18

Aug

Emily Ratajkowski for Yamamay Lingerie of the Day

I make fun of Emily Ratajkowski because I am an asshole, but also because I don’t like that she got too famous for being topless model to answer my emails. I take things personally like that, but these eager to be famous girls are pretty much all the same, and when fame finally hits, they stop emailing you pictures from various photoshoots they want you to promote for them…

In fact, they don’t ever acknowledge you ever again, because they are busy and got what they wanted out of you, which is very low level marketing, since 3-4 people actually read the site…

I will say, that there is no glory in being the second person to ever post Em Rat Cow pics early on in her career….in fact it doesn’t accomplish anything for your soul, bank account or penis.

That said, I do need to give Emily Ratajkowski props where props are deserved, and that is that as a young girl with huge boobs on a skinny frame, willing to get topless, she’s managed to really build a career she otherwise would never have had…giving hope to young girls every where that getting naked pays off if you’re smart about it.

So for that, I don’t resent Em Rat Cow…or her bird-like, debatably overrated face that I would have assumed would fade into obscurity but that just booked an new movie…she’s famous.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

14

Jul

Emily Rat Cow Bikini Pics for Instagram of the Day

Emily Rat Cow who was once Emily Ratajkowski…then EMRATA because every bitch with a weird Ethnic name needs herself a nickname that has a nice flow to it…it makes jerking off to them much more romantic…like a love song…than being screamed at in a german prison camp “RATATATATA KOOOOWW SKII”…

But now, she’s Rat Cow…because she’s got a face of a rat, a personality of a cow, her 5 minutes are up. But she’s still got tits.

Tits she’s well aware of, and tits that she knows helped her achieve her 15 minutes…and anyone who is blinded by her tits, and thinks she’s hot..or talented…or worth keeping around, is just ignorant and doesn’t realize the level of hot pussy in the world that has less of an ego and more talent than this barn yard trash.

Here she is taking pics of herself…practicing for when everyone in the world stops caring, not just me, and she’s left forced to take herself out back and shoot herself…up on some old yeller shit…with more selfies and less dead animal…I was just throwing out some metaphors, since we are all intellectuals here.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

04

Jul

Emily Ratajkowski Being Sleazy for Instagram of the Day

Emily Ratajkowski pulled out her tit on instagram because she’s subtle…and realizes that without her tits she is nothing and that the focal point of anything she has done and will ever do will be her tits, so why not give them some glory…because without her tits she’s a nothing…and even with her tits she’s a nothing…just a nothing hosting these tits…tits she likes to make shine…

Her nickname is still RAT-COW…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

30

Jun

Emily Rat-Cow Pretending to be a Serious Nude Model of the Day

Emily Ratajkowski is going to now be referred to as RAT-COW because she’s got the face of a rat, and is a fucking cow of a person…

She did this “artistic” fashion video for TREATS, who always bring the fucking good shit to the internet and I am a fan of their work…even when it features horrible people like RAT-COW.

In fact, TREATS are the reason why RAT-COW Exists. They are the magazine that made her matter. They shot her naked when no one was watching, and she was just a Kanye jump-off with no where to go. They got her cast in the Blurred lines video, and that shit too her viral…now she is crawling back…because she has no where left to go.

The Rat-Cow, although an interesting species, is going extinct.

The world has seen your 2 dimensions…your 2 tits…and that is all that really matters….and leveraging that into a serious acting career is a joke, but showing off your acting skills in a fashion/art/titty video is an even bigger joke.

The Rat-Cow, is just an overrated titty model and that’s fucking it…if this leads to anything bigger and better I’ll be shocked…even when, she’s attempting to show her depth as an actress, her fans with watch it and love it, but I’ll just find her a waste of fucking time…except for the tits…the tits are good…to look at…for now…as the Rat-Cow is on the slow ride to the slaughterhouse where shit ends….

I mean why is she crying, it’s just a fashion Video Rat-Cow…why so tormented, oh is it because you know you’re taking steps back and not forward, and the strip club stage in your near future brings tears….or is it just that she’s such a deep character actor…you know put a wig on this bitch and she doesn’t need a storyline or script…she’ll cry everywhere like she did when her boyfriend Kanye, who she groupied for a year, chose Kim over her….

Who cares…tits.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

24

Jun

Emily Ratajkowski Still Exists and She’s in GQ of the Day

I am a firm believer that Emily Ratajkowski is on the decline. I think last year was her breakout year, and pretty much gave us all she has to offer. I don’t think the attention span of the general public is really in this one for a long haul. I mean sure she’s got an interesting bird face, and massive tits, and big fake looking lips and tits, but so does every fucking lap dancing stripper I know….

She got in a viral video, people liked her tits, the mainstream media interpreted that as relevant, like they did with Tila Tequila, and now she’s just riding that wave as it comes into shore…because there are so many more interesting, friendlier, prettier, bustier, amazing girls that Emily Ratajkowski…

She just pulled off a good scam, and with every scam, you eventually get cuaghter.

I guess GQ is giving her one more shot, but this time next year, you won’t even remember this bitch…unless she proves me wrong, which is possible…I’m wrong all the fucking time…I mean look at my life…clearly I’ve been wrong before, like in every fucking choice I’ve made!

here are the GQ pics…

I really don’t think Emily Ratajkowski is hot. But I think she brings hope to average girls with big tits that one day they too can be on the cover of GQ…a year after they are relevant…because GQ is slow to the gate…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski