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Archive for the Kelly Osbourne Category

2013

06

Sep

Kelly Osbourne Showing Off her Legs of the Day

Kelly Osbourne has finally shown the world what she’s been hiding in her plus sized pants…and I know I’m not shocked or surprised by this, because let’s face it, she’s a fucking monster…..and monster with big cleavage…

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2013

07

May

Kelly Osbourne Unfortunately in a Bikini for SELF Magazine of the Day

Photoshopped Kelly Osbourne is on the cover of SELF Magazine, next to a headline on 5 minute abs, even though her abs look more like a singular hard packed piled of shit that is impacted inside her from all the anal I assume she has because either she’s got a dick, at least that’s what her sex appeal in a bikini tells me, or no one, not even the biggest gold digger or Sabbath fan wants to K-Fed her….she’s just that appealing a vagina…

I guess she’s on the cover because she’s made progress and is not as fat as she once was, but that’s really not saying all that much, because let’s face it, no one should be as fat as she was and losing that weight shouldn’t be celebrated, because she shouldn’t have been there in the first place. It’s like celebrating a convicted killer for not killing a guy he got in a fight with, you know only leaving his face smashed in but still breathing, only with more bikini and far less excitement…here are the pics to start your day in a horrible way….

She is a monster…

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2013

29

Apr

Kelly Osbourne in her Bikini of the Day

Remember when Kelly Osbourne almost died on set of some show she’s on a few months ago. It looks like the only thing that died was her sex appeal, no wait, that was always dead, maybe a product of being raised by her gothic parents, but probably more a product of being made by her gothic parents, with broken DNA thanks to hard fucking drug use. But I guess the starving herself and trying to be skinny thing is over, maybe the fainting was from starving herself, and doctor’s orders are to eat cake, something it looks like her fat ass has been embracing.

All this to say, the bikini was a horrible idea, she needs to plan better vacations, like one that involves a snow suit.

She scares me.

What a dump truck of a spoiled brat, but the good news is there will always be a man horny enough, or gold digger enough to bite the bullet and bang her and I guess that’s what matters.

#Cyberbully


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Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2013

07

Mar

Kelly Osbourne Just had a Seizure of the Day

photo via TMZ

Apparently, Kelly Osbourne was filming a show called Fashion Police, with Melissa Rivers for E!, complained about not feeling well and fell to the floor shaking…someone in the audience…who was either a doctor or a pervert pretending to be a doctor knowing this was probably his one chance to mouth to mouth her….helped….she came to…but they send her to the hospital anyway…cuz seizures aren’t normal…

I like to think it all started when she looked at herself in the mirror…

I would blame anorexia…but I don’t blame anorexia for anything…anorexia is the source of great things…like bikini bodies….

I do however blame her genetics…the sperm that made her was so contaminated….and made her this obese thing…along with her brother who has MS….

Is Kelly Osbourne death near?! Only time will tell.

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2012

28

Dec

Kelly Osbourne’s Bikini body for Cosmo Body of the Day

This is unfortunate..Kelly Osbourne is in a magazine in a bikini….

I get it…she was way fatter than this and lost weight…let’s fucking celebrate and look at her like she’s some bikini model…when she’s not a fucking bikini model….

I mean the fact is this spoiled brat shouldn’t have been fat in the first place….so now that she’s more acceptable in size they think it’s a story worth discussing…you know to give fat america, who shouldn’t be fat in the first place, but are too lazy to not be fat…thanks to modern commerce….hope that they too can be almost acceptable in a bikini…

But what it comes down to is that she still looks like shit….just in a smaller size….

I am not impressed Cosmo….not impressed at all.

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2012

17

Oct

Kelly Osbourne does Fashion Modeling of the Day

I am only posting this because I think the idea of Kelly Osbourne being a fashion model is fuckin jokes…and I love jokes….especially when they involve fat chicks….cuz fat chicks are the best punch line ever…even if they took being laughed at for being fat seriously and lost all the weight…they are still fat chicks to me….

Here she is totally not erotic…cuz erotic is not something she’s capable of…

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2012

08

Oct

Kelly Osbourne Scary in a Bikini of the Day


Kelly Osbourne reminds me that if I was ever a pork farmer…I’d totally dress the pig up in a bikini before slaugtering it because it would be so comical and amusing in an otherwise shit filled world…

I get that she’s lost a lot of weight…but that doesn’t mean seeing her half naked is something we need to celebrate…unless we were people who were forced to see her half naked before the fitness regime, like her boyfriend that is using her to get to her dad and his money, cuz when forced to chose fat Kelly or this Kelly, the choice is obvious….but the new Kelly is up against all the actual hot girls in bikinis….which happen to be something she is not…but the one thing she does have going for her…is a rockin’ trust fund…so I guess she’s not all bad…as long as she’s not in a bikini….


TO SEE THE REST OF A PIG IN A BIKINI
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Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2011

04

Aug

Kelly Osbourne is Squeezing Coco’s Ass for Twitter of the Day

Kelly Osbourne looks so bummed, literally, you know, cuz she’s got her hands all over Coco’s ass and posted it to Twitter, I guess so shaken up about the death of her “best friend” who she was such a good friend to that she really got involved and did all she could to prevent that death that was probably pretty preventable….You know, tired of all the tears the paparazzi captured and statements she’s been making about how broken up she is…and taking a break from all that sadness and getting on with her life…and what better way to do that than to grab Coco’s ass…it’s like some kind of amusment park ride…only more manhandled and used…cuz you don’ climb the whore ladder and marry a celebrity without a whole lot of practice….

In other news – Kelly Osbourne called Christina Aguilera the fat cunt she was born to be….fascinating….

Here are some recent pictures of Coco at some bullshit event showing off her bullshit body…

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2011

26

Jul

Kelly Osbourne Funeral Ass for the Morbid Goth Pervets of the Day

Being the kind of guy who can get off to Kelly Osbourne makes you weird….you know with all the fatness that was never worth masturbating to even when it got skinny unless you’re an Ozzy fan and want some of the product of his sperm that stuck to uterus…

Being the kind of guy who can get off to people at funerals makes you even weirder….you know with all the sadness and mourning death and celebrating life morbid shit…

But being the kind of guy who can get off to Kelly Osbourne at a funeral makess you the weirdest….it’s up there with necrophilia…she’s the kind of girl that if you were forced to choose whether to fuck her or the corpse being mourned, you’d likely choose the corpse cuz it would likely be more pleasurable…and less traumatic….

I love having these useless conversations with myself…I don’t love this post…it is fucking depressing me….cuz I’ve had good friends die of drug overdoses, and the shit is fucked, you can’t make a person stop doing drugs, and getting that call is always horrible….even though you know it’s coming….so I’m not all bad…as unattractive as I find Klly Osbourne…I can relate to what she’s going through…see girls…I’ve got a soul…not as much as Amy Winehouse’s music that I was a huge fan of but you should still let me eat you out…

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2011

25

Jul

Kelly Osbourne is Such a Baby of the Day

It is safe to say that Kelly Osbourne just looked at herself in the mirror….

Or maybe…just maybe she’s pretending to be Amy Winehouse’s best friend in the world who is destroyed by the fact that she’s died at least when the paparazzi are looking….

Because you know with death comes lots of people who take ownership on the shit….

Or maybe….they actually are friends…bother tormented by addiction who used to get high together, before Kelly went to rehab and turned her back on those friends who brought her down….only to lose one and think that shit “that coulda been me”….

I’ve been there before…I feel her pain…but prefer thinking she just looked in the mirror…it is less depressing that way…and way more jokes..

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2011

25

Apr

Kelly Osbourne Does the Fat Elvira of the Day

Kelly Osbourne, like all fat girls before her who have lost weight for a minute, has gone back to being fat…..and the funny thing about the whole thing is that when a fat bitch gets skinny, she usually goes back to being even fatter, I guess that’s the road Kelly Osbourne is on….corset or not, we know what’s going on here you fat ugly monster of a pig.

I don’t know why anyone thought she’d be different during that minute she wasn’t as fat as usual…More importantly, I don’t know why anyone would care about Kelly Osbourne enough to notice whether she lost weight or not….

Once a fat girl….always a fat girl….

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2011

23

Feb

Kelly Osbourne Photoshopped For Madonna of the Day

I remember hearing that Madonna’s youth clothing line was going to use Kelly Osbourne as the model, and I thought it was funny, because Kelly Osbourne is neither an idol to the youth, nor model worthy….If anything, she’s fucking disgusting even with the Dancing the the Stars weight loss…so I knew she’s aggressively be photoshopped in some Old Navy caliber creative direction…and the only message I hope this gives the youth that are going to be spoon fed this shit is that being fat is bad, starve yourself and if starving yourself doesn’t work, replace food with crystal meth and cigarettes….because I don’t want the shift in morals that leads to a love for porn, dick sucking, group sex and exhibitionism that’s happened to our youth over the last few years thanks to celebrity sluts go to waste or be spoiled by a pig disguised as a human…what a joke….

Here are the pics of the campaign…masturbate to them…it may make you last longer than usual…you know like a challenge for even the biggest chronic masturbating pervert who can cum to anything…Is there an app for that?

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2010

21

Oct

Kelly Osbourne Was the Scariest Thing at the Scream Awards of the Day

Unlike all the fat chicks out there amazed that Kelly Osbourne started working out and lost all kind of fatness to every part of her body but her ankles and head, I am not impressed by her skinny, if anything I find it kinda awkward looking.

She was never hot and despite the happy glow she perspires now that she’shigh on endorphines, instead of being high on chips, cake, chocolate and sleeping pills mixed with uppers mixed with ADD medication mixedd with anti anxiety medication….like all Hollywood trash….she still looks like fucking shit to me.

Proving that sometimes new found confidence for fat chicks turned skinny, although pretty good at ended with blowjobs as they are making up for lost time when dicks didn’t visit their barnyard pussies, are always fucking fat chicks…even when they aren’t fat anymore…cuz fat is a state of fucking mind…and this little phase Osbourne is going through will pass….not that anyone will notice cuz either way…she’s busted….

Here she is scaring everyone at the Scream awards where she won scariest pussy at the event according to me….

Sarah Silverman was a close fucking second….It amazes me that I have seen this pig on “hot” lists by magazines…to me that makes any publication lose any credibility…she shouldn’t even make it on a top 100 hottest Jewish women comedians….even if there aren’t 100 comedians…she’s a sadder lookin’ pussy any pussy that juse realized she had sex with me…and that may not mean much to you…but it’s pretty sad….I have no idea why she has the confidence to wear tight shorts while showing off her pig legs in panyhose…..but I can only assume it’s gotta do with sacrificing herself for content….and I guess who fucking cares.

>

I am pretty sure I coulda taken a better angle with the Scream Awards…like by posting the bitches who were there who I actually want to see naked…but I make no sense….

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne|Sarah Silverman

2010

15

Sep

Kelly Osbourne’s Weightloss is my New Obsession of the Day

I find it really interesting that even though piggy Osbourne lost all kind of weight, she still looks fucking disgusting. So interesting that I am obsessed with staring at her pics trying to make sense of it…cuz it just doesn’t make sense…fat girls who get skinny are supposed to be fuckable…

She is one of those people who shouldn’t have bothered trying to get healthy and fit, because it didn’t make her any more desirable to fuck, like the fat bitch I used to fuck when she was down on her luck and fat due to a cookie addiction, who 2 years later ended up getting work as stripper everyone wanted to fuck, and eventually fucked her way into porn, because she lost all the weight and took advantage of all the attention she felt she was missing out on…

Kelly Osbourne’s weightloss story didn’t work out quite as well for her…

Seriously, this goes against all studies on weightloss and the whole thing amazes me…but not as much as the fact that people have had sex with this in all it’s shapes, sizes, and levels of cleanliness…

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2010

06

Sep

Kelly Osbourne Unfortunate See Through of the Day

I hate fat girls gone skinny when they are ugly. Cuz fat girls gone skinny when they are hot makes for a very liberal and excited to not be fat girl willing to get naked, suck every last drop of male attention she can find, to celebrate all the years she was hiding in her fat costume….but ugly fat girls gone skinny, don’t realize that fat or not they are still fucking ugly, and even though they have the same wants to get half naked and jerked off to, since they never had it before, they gotta take into account that they don’t really have what it takes…even though I am usually a firm believer than all it really takes is pussy…

See, I don’t care how skinny a bitch get, that doesn’t give her a right to wear see through shirts, in efforts to trick us into looking at her, cuz like all dudes, we have no choice but to stare at pussy of all varieties…I get that back when she was relevant and on TV all the starlets were getting noticed for being half naked, and she was too busy eating donuts and developing a drug addiction to replace her eating addiction, and I guess now is officially payback time….

All this to say…this is a pretty fucking unfortunate outfit….and that Kelly Osbourne is only hot when locked in one of her dad’s coffins.

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne