SFW Archives - Page 7 of 20 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2018

13

Nov

Candice Swanepoel Underboob of the Day

Candice Swanepoel is no longer pregnant, which may be exciting to some of you Candice Swanepoel fans, who didn’t like seeing her pregnant the last three years, because she lets dude cum up inside her and doesn’t get abortions, so that she can start a family.

I know you probably don’t love the idea of her banged out battered pussy, but as a model for an evil corporation that brain washes you idiots to buy their shitty products…you probably can assume she does her kegels and has a labia reduction surgeon at every VS fashion show so no pussy gets slipped out….since I’ve never seen a pussy slip in their infomercial ever…despite it being skimpy panties…starring moms like Candice…who luckily are still hot because the brand is committed to using hot chicks, other than Winneie Harlow the Cow Hide skinned model, cuz they have to give in to the pressure of social media sometimes.

I don’t know what her big mom tit is up to – but it’s doing her old tricks…not her actual old tricks of being a Farmer and Blood Diamond miner in South Africa, speaking her Afrikaans, having her Slaves do her homework, before contracting AIDS….and deciding to be a model….fuck the safari in her backyard, do the safari in NYC….avoiding being killed by a legless athlete….making millions as a promo model….a legend who has really only worked for Victoria’s Secret…with some Apartheid shit.

Here are her bikini pics…

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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2018

12

Nov

Jessica Alba Mom TIts of the Day

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Are Jessica Alba’s mom of three tits still exciting to you now that she’s old as fuck?

I think the only compelling or interesting thing about her, is that she got involved in a brand that became worth billions of dollars, thanks to a team she was part of….not because she’s smart but because she used her celebrity of being a terrible actress, but a hot terrible actress to her advantage…it’s always annoying to see celebrities, like a Lohan, who was the biggest name for the longest time, unable to leverage that name to cash the fuck in cuz her head is up her ass. Instagram sluts are getting rich of bikini brands and fucking cosmetic brands…there are a lot of people with credit cards out there who are easily manipulated into giving their credit card because they are being told to by some celeb name they recognize from some shitty movie…

I guess the other compelling thing about her is her tits….that she has out…but she’s old as fuck…and I appreciate the whole concept of new pussy, especially when it comes to what I am looking at on the internet, cuz who needs old tired shit we’ve already seen enough of…who has her pussy banged the fuck out from a life in Hollywood and kids….breeder 1/2 Mexican scammers…you know…

FOR MORE PHOTOS FROM THE PEOPLES CHOICE AWARDS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2018

07

Nov

Sofia Richie Hard Nipples of the Day

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If you’re wondering what Lionel Richie’s trust fund baby is up to today, or yesterday or who the fuck knows when, but she had what I assume are her fake tits out, but that could just be her perky tits, Because despite looking 40 like the Kardashians she idolizes and attaches herself to – she’s 12….but not too old to be a Shameless old man fucker to advance her profile and I guess her career not that she needs or has a career….she’s got that I just called to say I love you money as soon as Lionel dies of opiates!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:SFW|Sofia Richie

2018

07

Nov

Sammi Hanratty See Through of the Day

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I don’t know who this ratty bitch is but I assume some of you pervert fucks do..

I do know that she was on Shameless or killed off on Shameless but I don’t watch Shameless…it is a Hollywood inflates parody of my ghetto life….that is so over the top it is almost as stupid as the people who think Emmy Rossum is hot .

Point being ratty is a fresh face that’s probably not fresh at all because she’s in Hollywood and on the internet and that alone makes her beat and disgusting…

So here she is taking advantage of celeb invites to events…making them appearances.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

To see some of her social media erotica:

Slutty…..

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Posted in:Sammi Hanratty|SFW

2018

06

Nov

Sophie Mudd Titty Photoshoot of the Day

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Hey big boy – I love your titties….is something that I hate hearing but that I hear all the time….so I can relate to Sophie Mudd, a girl who has a weirdly shaped body because the shoulders are broad to hold the tits, the hips are narrow…and that may eventually end up a fat walmart clerk looking bitch…but for now is skinny and maintaining being skinny…cuz with tits like that it is so important to have that level of contrast…

I have been objectified, teased and singled out for having these mad tits…bullied for my tits…cuz men are pervert and mean….so #metoo and #believeallwomen even though they lie…as a fat man I have fought your fight…and dealt with the abuse you feel…

Only I can’t go out there and reclaim my tits, and expose my tits, and show off my tits, so that everyone follows me on instagram and that I can monetize on instagram…because the whole world is on instagram and thinks that’s all that matters in the world…that there is nothing outside of instagram…

Because my big tits aren’t hot big tits, they are fat man big tits, but I like to try to find common ground to relate on the real issues the country is facing – like how are Sophie Mudd’s tits so fucking big…

All this to say…big fucking tits…what hormones are being put into the foods to make this genetic mutation…hopefully all the girls are eating it. The future looks bright I mean other than the whole it’s going to blow the fuck up….but at least the tits will be big on girls trying to get their rent paid…staying skinny…as the meteor strikes and we are flooded out…

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Posted in:SFW|Sophie Mudd

2018

06

Nov

Natasha Oakley and Devin Brugman Getting Wet of the Day

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The bikini girls a day girls are getting lazy with their fitness and their photoshop and pretty much everything because they know they can…the internet is a lie and they have the followers on lock so now it’s time to get real and be 35 years old…

These girls were never hot, but they did bikini pics every day and that was enough for early instagram…now you need more spread ass shots..

But I guess getting old is a real issue when you’re marketed as a bikini girls, you have to throw in the towel at some point and sell your account or start featuring actual hot chicks you narcisstic self involved sluts…

Natasha Oakley Devin Brugman Wet Bikini Hard Nipples

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Posted in:devin brugman|Natasha Oakley|SFW

2018

05

Nov

Ariel Winter Big Tits Short Shorts of the Day

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HEY THERE chunky monkey. Aren’t you that fat chick from TV? Am I allowed to call a fat chick with fat tits a fat chick? Can I say fat or chick. Sure I can! I’m an old degenerate fuck and don’t care….

Don’t you remember when there was a difference between Hollywood fat and real life fat and slmeqhere along the way the lines were crossed and fat became average and Hollywood fat became skinny. I do.

Ariel Winter so fucking gross..

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Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2018

05

Nov

Iggy Azalea Wants to Do Porn of the Day

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I don’t know what Iggy Azalea trying to get out of a record deal is news…you know her saying that you try so hard to get a record deal – which is code for suck a lot of dick – then once you make it you have to try so hard to get out of it – because that record deal is what made you and now that you’re made you want all the money for your greedy self…

I hate when these bitches sign shitty contracts just to have contracts and the companies that put them on, invest in them, market them cuz they see mainstream potential but are still taking a risk on some gutter Australian trash…lose out when it’s finally time to cash in cuz bitch has an ego.

I am sure this is how every small time pimp feels when his hoe moves onto the big times….like “without me you’d be nothing, but now I get nothing”….it happens all the time…talent management and development yo.

Well, apparently, some porn company offered her a contract and she felt the need to tell all the porn perverts off while promoting the porn company…she probably has an affiliate code with them and is getting kick back..calling out people by their user names…for being perverts when she spends her career showing off her fat fucking ass…it’s weird…so weird. the level of hypocrisy that these people put out there…like she doesn’t know she’s a borderline sex worker with her ass out there fucking a pole in her video pretending she was a stripper…and acts like she doesn’t deserve commments on the internet like this…it’s fucking nuts.

I don’t read this as harassment and sexual predator behavior..when I cross reference it with the content she’s putting out there…what type of attention is she trying to get? People are all crazy.

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Posted in:Iggy Azalea|SFW

2018

31

Oct

Julianne Moore Got Them Titties on of the Day

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It’s Halloween, so why not celebrate the costume of the day, we call it Julianne Moore dressed like a VS angel, despite being 100 fucking years old…

I would say that despite being 100 fucking years old, I still find Julianne Moore to be a compelling actress and one of the hotter redheads to exist…

Her claim to fame, as far as I’m concerned is being the first orange pubic hair I had ever seen back when she was in Robert Altman’s Short Cuts…look at me…a little cinephile..which I assume is a guy who jerks off in movie theaters like theatres like they are PEE WEE HERMAN….

Her other claim to fame is being in so many movies, indy movies, that we’ve all seen and loved and seeing her and her great tits, despite being 100 years old doing the VS Model costume is still hot enough to stare at for at least the 3 seconds you spend scrolling over this compelling and inspiring text I just spent all this time crafting to perfection….

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Posted in:Julianne Moore|SFW

2018

30

Oct

Metisha Shaefer Little Wet Bikini of the Day

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According to the internet or instagram Metisha Shaefer is a “German Ethnic Model and Acress” and according to her bio she “Speak 5 languages” but doesn’t really know how to spell speaks 5 languages in English…because she missed an S…which isn’t a big deal…I write bullshit all day and make mistakes all day and I only know how to speak English…but if I was writing a post on how good I am at English…I’d make sure to google translate a little harder and better.

She’s in a bikini, her nipple is out, I figure why not post a Zombie looking bitch, like the Zombie looking bitch I saw in her sweatsuit leaving a MEDI SPA earlier today…her face all swollen and disgusting….her fake ass visible from the way her pants fit from the front…and I just said…how do these people think they look good…

THey are fucking monsters…legit monsters all on the CAT LADY hustle…here are the tits.