Body Archives - Page 3 of 3 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2006

02

Feb

Penelope Cruz Yellow Bikini

I like when the Paparazzi take pictures of celebrities on the beach, during their vacations. They deserve it, considering an Actor’s life is a fuckin’ vacation. Try working in a factory you motherfuckers, an entire life to just pay the fuckin’ rent, while you sip your cocktails, play on your cell phones and order around some local slave you hired. Point of the story is I like that Penelope’s boyfriend dresses like he’s homeless and is still recognized as one of people’s most beautiful people. If you’re wondering why I know that, my fat wife like to read magazines and recite the whole motherfucker to me when I am cornered, and forced to talk to her. Either way, here are some of the bikini pics all the loser celebrity bloggers will be posting, remember you got it here first. I am watching phone sex infomercials. My life is fucking complete. Fuck you.

2006

24

Jan

Fergie in a Bikini

10 Comments »

I don’t really understand Fergie at all. She came out of nowhere, destroyed a decent hip hop group, not that I will ever admit to liking hip hop, but I will admit to seeing a group of crackhead “artists” turn into dirty popstars cuz they added a bitch with implants to sing over their songs, wear slutty gear and do a little dance. I have nothing against adding some pussy to any project to make it more successful, cuz I like pussy, but I will never respect people who profit off it cuz they lack the talent to lure in people with their own product. If I ever had a website, I would NEVER post pictures of nipple slips, bikinis and pussy to lure in readers. This has been a post on Fergie in a Bikini and she still has a disgusting face.

2006

19

Jan

Cat Deeley Bikini Pics of the Day

No Comments »

Again, another British celeb in a bikini. This time some girl named Cat Deeley. She was the host of many MTV shows, I didn’t really check out what she’s up to now. She could still be an MTV host. The reason I am posting these pics is primarily because she is a “celebrity” I have never heard of in a bikini, which is something I commited to posting about in my Martine McCutcheon post just 3 minutes ago. I have nothing to say about this one, other than I like the way she serves her man a beer. I am not saying that because I think a women should wait on her man hand and feet, I do say it because I have a wife who can’t even open a can of fucking beans for me because her wrists are too fat to give her can-opening mobility. I’d tell her to take a hint from Cat Deeley, our useless bikini clad celebrity of the day, but my bitch doesn’t know who to read english. That is the end of this story.

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Cat Deeley|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Martine McCutcheon Bikini Pics of the Day

4 Comments »

I have a thing for obscure celebrities in bikinis. It seems like a constant issue with this site. I find pics of “celebrities” I have never heard of in their bikinis, and I throw up the pics. I don’t really know why I do it, I assume that no one really reads this site anyway, but I do it. So this lovely lady’s name is Martine McCutcheon. She was in a Hugh Grant movie called Love Actually, and she is supposed to be huge in England. Well according the these pics, she’s also huge in the USA. I hate making fat jokes, cuz I know they are the lowest common denominator, I also know that most of you are fat and/or have fat girlfriends. I know that you will all defend Martine because she has breasts, and you find anything with breasts hot. I am not hear to shit on your parade, so I won’t talk about how fat she is because we all know, if I wasn’t impotent, and was drunk, I’d probably stuff her like a turkey too, and it’s not even thanksgiving yet.

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Martine McCutcheon|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Serena Williams is an Athlete

9 Comments »

I am not one to criticize someone for having a bad picture taken of them. I don’t think that would be fair, considering every picture of me is pretty fucking bad. I am not really one to criticize someone for being fat, especially when she’s a pro tennis player and wins all the fucking time. I am not about to pull up her stats, but by lookin at this pic, it seems like the way she wins is by eating the person she is playing against, or maybe she just sits on them until they give up. By lookin’ at this pic, there is no way that Serena “Heffer” Williams is an athlete anymore.

Posted in:Athlete|Body|Serena Williams|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Lauren Pope Plastic Tits

4 Comments »

I would like to take a second to laugh at plastic surgery. This bitch was a Page 3 model in the UK, I’m guessin’ a while ago, and was known for having the smallest Page 3 titties ever. I guess that title got her a little insecure about her rack and next thing I know she’s at the premiere of Get Rich or Die Trying (on of America’s proudest moment’s in Film History), in nothing but a bra.
I guess the lacey thing makes it an official shirt, either wzay her tits and face look all plastic. I’m sure she got this done a long time ago – I just thinks it’s nice to compare her new pics with the old ones. Yeah – I am not feeling funny today.

See her before pics here

Posted in:Body|fake boobs|Lauren Pope|Tits|Unsorted