UK’s export Charli XCX who I always thought was just a bootleg performer with a dream. You know, a rich kid with parents who support her dream because they are lawyers or accountants or bankers….and used to the stuffy and shitty world of bureaucracy….excited to tell their friends how like Charli is doing in America chasing her dreams that they finance because it makes their lives more interesting…

Not that I have an issue with rich people getting ahead, I believe in equality for all, equal opportunity for all, but if your family got a generations head start and you get to benefit from it, fuck yeah…

So there’s nothing wrong with being a sponsored by your parents artist to keep their lives interesting amongst their boring friends…that’s not the issue here, the issue is that I thought that was her level of career….someone who tours malls and nightclubs that no one cares about….

As it turns out, I was wrong, she’s actually rich as shit, just bought a 30 million dollar house, probably has more hits than Rita Ora, who you’d think is richer and more important than Charli based on Rita’s incessant self promotion….but who cares about the backstory, or the rivalry I created between two UK popstars in America…which should be the name of my memoir….I am here for the front story…the TITTIES….and the good news is that both have big tits ..all those bangers and mash or some shit…I RECKON…

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Charli XCX has been a relatively unimpressive popstar, she never really blew up like she was Rihanna, because clearly she didn’t sign the right deal…

She was touring nightclubs, circuses, honkytonks and dive bars for the last 15 years of her trying to be a pop star….and NO ONE GAVE A FUCK…

She’s wear her leotard, have her tits out, that was what she was good at doing…but no one gave a fuck…

Then this past year, I saw she bought Calvin Harris, who is stupid rich’s house, for like 20 million dollars, don’t quote me on that, but it was a lot, way more than you’d expect her level of celebrity to buy her, and I said….that’s peculiar. I guess when you’re in the system at the right level, you get paid even when you’re not that impressive…

That was until seeing this video today, where Charli XCX does her best Lady Gaga, she doesn’t even sound like her own self, and she’s at her own funeral, because her original self has died….that is if you believe in the whole symbolism in pop music videos, and I do, has officially sold her soul…hence the 20 million dollar house I gather…

The good news, is that the Good Ones, which is the name of this song, feature her tits, doing weird ceremonial demon shit…you know since the demons run this shit…and no I don’t mean China, even though China owns Hollywood, I mean actual demons…obviously…

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Charli XCX is celebrating the future by fucking a coffin like a Puerto Rican or Central American Cartel funeral videos where the hooker is grinding her ass on her dead boyfriend’s face while his crew shoot guns off into the sky….

Charli XCX riding on coffin’s is the only way to fuck when everyone dies off from Covid…we aren’t there yet…but we will call it satanic predictive programming….

She’s also in a bikini looking better than she used to….but still as irrelevant as always but since she is at the right table in the industry,..girl is getting paid and lives in mansions and shit…

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Charli XCX was a relatively unimpressive popstar from the UK who I thought worked at county fairs across America…you know before the big pig ribbon ceremony…that was just the caliber of star I thought she was.

She was also someone who I thought I saw performing at some night club for a room full of people who didn’t even look at at her while she was performing…it was actually pretty depressing…

As it turns out, she’s actually far more impressive than I thought, despite probably playing the county fairs across America and club shows no one noticed her at despite her being on stage in a leotard….because I guess these record deals are lucrative, multi million dollar deals, and when I saw she bought a 5 million dollar LA house, I realized that I was wrong about her…and that she likely got into this shit at the perfect time, right before social media dictated EVERYTHING…because I don’t think she has the star power, even with the tits, to be anything substantial on her own…but if you get that traditional record deal…you get paid as such and can buy 5 million dollar homes even if you seemingly don’t seem to be someone who gets paid more than a few hundred dollars for a sugar daddy for a fuck.

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Charli XCX has made me realize that I am a wallet fucker…I know that I’ve had Chrissy Teigen’s army that I’ll assume is no more cuz the rest of the world realized she’s a fucking piece of shit….but there was a time, right before she got critically famous, that I never understood how that happened, but it happened…and at that time she called me out for being some pervert degenerate predator or some shit that was obviously NOT true and it was all because I made fun of her for being a wallet fucker…a low life, overrated, pile of fat sadness wallet fucker, where clearly John Legend was using her as a beard cuz I heard rumors he used to date Kanye, or was in too deep and got paid heavily after meeting her and felt she was part of his success….and the divorce would be too expensive….

Anyway, the reason I am a wallet fucker is because I thought Charli XCX was some overrated night club act that was barely famous…I saw her in her leotards and thought “she’s got tits” but that they were more of the bottom feeding variety…

As it turns out, she recently spent 5.1 million dollars on a mansion in LA with a recording studio in it….and I thought…this bitch has at least enough money to buy at 5 million dollar home….even with a mortgage she’d be making 25k payments per month…meaning she’s way more legit than I thought…

So that makes me looking at her bikini boobs, probably at a mansion, far more fun and exciting cuz they are rich and famous even though you think she’s barely famous…fascinating how that works…

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I used to make fun of Charli XCX for being a pre-instagram pop star that got signed and thus got a big up front payment, only to be relatively disappointing small stage act that never really poppped off..

Recently, I saw the house she sold in the UK on some real estate site, and the house she bought in America and realized she’s rich as shit…we’re talking multi million dollar properties all while being so uneventful…

I was sure that I saw her headline the county fair, or maybe it was a local night club where no one paid attention to her performance, but that could have been anyone, I was drunk….

So as it turns out, I have no idea how the music industry works, or whether she had hits or not, because I was only interested in her tits, which were at the time, in leotards and big enough to stare at…

Well, apparentely, all these years later, we’re discovering that she’s also got an ass….that she’s posing proper with….in squat the way it was designed to shit.

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I think I saw Charli XCX playing at a night club or a bar or maybe it was a mall or a strip club early in her career…that was barely a career but I saw the house she sold in the UK and the house she bought in LA…so she’s made real fucking money despite being barely relevant as an “artist”…not that I think any popstar idiots are artisits..

I am old enough to remember when she tried to launch her career, at least in America…and it was in the era of the one piece leotard…you may remember every celebrity or popstar would wear these one-piece leotards to perform in…all pantsless with their asses out and I always thought to myself…Charli XCX has got some titties…

Apparently she got Famous from Myspace when she was 14 because her parents gave her money to record an Album and now she’s having a second wind to her career about 14 years later thanks to TikTok….because one of her songs is now a viral trend on TikTok…and TikTok is the platform to launch and create hits…so long as you have a stupid dance to go along with it….

She is a “person of color” because her mother is Ugandan / Indian…but luckily she doesn’t milk that incessantly because there’s more to a person than their cultural heritage, like her tits, which she does milk incessantly…just not in a lactating kind of way….even on MILKY TIT mondays…

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Charli XCX should change her name it XXX…..because she woke up, put on some skimpy ass raver bathing suit and decided “ass and titties”….despite playing a Lady Gaga song, that I guess is trending on TikTok, as they brain wash the younger generation with retard dances….however, I’ve been told that TikTok is the most representative of where we are at in society, because people call out that whole cancel culture and woke on there, and make jokes about it…yes, black people on TikTok mock Black Owned Business signs at the grocery store put there by white people showing their support for black people in the most racist of ways….anyway….let’s hope she’s partaking in a Lady Gaga song trend and is not actually a fan of Lady Gaga…since Lady Gaga fucking sucks…but these popstars all aspire to be her or have her level of fame so that’s probably why they idolize her despite her shitty songs….because Charli XCX who should be Charli XXX just wants her own shitty songs to trend at that level…groupie shit…

Anyway, this angle is aggressive and the whole thing pretty porny for the UK barely a popstar who’s been around for a long time now…long enough for me to know she’ got fat tits time now…

I like it. Good work Charli…

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Charli XCX finally looks hot….you know get a face on her that I can jerk off on and feel more at home….plus based on the girls of instagram we’re used it…this face is probably less plastic….OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…..see, I got jokes…

The key to Charli XCX is the highligh of this pic, her tits…she’s got tits and people like tits….I like tits, I assume you like tits….

I have seen her perform at a club once early in her career….and it was pretty embarassing and low end, so I just discounted her as some rich trash pretending to do pop, maybe a tactic to get her work visa to live the USA dream…

She was on the hipster kick, and it was trendy, leotards and tits, I just figured girls get away with alot when being so shit…

As it turns out, she is actually really successful, she had a house in the UK I saw sell for a few million, then she bough an LA house for like 10 million, I mean that’s serious money….all from someone who you’ve never heard ONE song of…

She has done the BEBE REXHA, only opposite, where she took her low level hipster shit to do behind the scenes work and she wrote a Selena Gomez Song and WILL I AM song, a Iggy Azalea song and a Camilla Cabello and Shawn Mendes song….so maybe that’s where the house comes from….not that we care about any of this, we don’t need her origin story, this is not her BIOPIC…or her unauthorized biography where I say ” thank god she doesn’t milk the fact that her mom was born in Uganda like she was Halsey pulling the black card…and I don’t mean her Amex cuz she scammed so hard”….I mean the race card to milk black parent to get more money in this ear of inclusivity…controlled by fucking idiots..

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