Elisha Cuthbert Archives - Page 2 of 3 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2008

06

May

Elisha Cuthbert Bikini Pictures of the Day

Elisha Cuthbert is in Hawaii with her Calgary Flames hockey playing boyfriend and I find that shit offensive. We get it, you’re fuckin’ Canadian bitch, you like hockey so much that you have to let their dicks up inside your dumpy ass consistently and to you hockey players are some kind of royalty because in Canada that’s how shit works and Hockey is the only thing important because celebrities in Canada and movies and TV and Music from Canada are all lame . I know that I hate hockey and I fuckin’ hate hockey fans and up until last week, when the Montreal Canadians were thankfully eliminated from the series I couldn’t leave my motherfuckin’ house without seeing the fagiest fuckin’ flags on cars and shirts on every fuckin’ person like I was in some kind of Twilight Zone episode because t, like Cuthbert think Hockey is a fuckin’ religion and would probably jump on hockey dick the first chance they got even if they never experienced dick before because they feel that passionate about the shit. I don’t understand why people can’t be normal and just obsess over normal things like the Girl Next Door, but I guess it doesn’t matter when Cuthbert is in a bikini because her nipples are hot and her body looks pretty alright and if I was a hockey team I would totally gang-rape her too, because it’s not considered the gayest thing when you’re a pro athlete and you spend your entire life in a shower or changing room with a group of men you’re supposed to be brothers with and prove that bond by shoving broom sticks up each other’s asses as initiation.

Posted in:Bikini|Elisha Cuthbert

2008

01

May

Elisha Cuthbert is Wasted of the Day

10 Comments »

I am a drinker and I get drunk but for some reason I kinda hate drunk girls despite how slutty they get, just because trying to talk to them and manage their craziness becomes too much fuckin’ work, but the thing I like about drunk girls is that they let down their guard and usually are willing to jump on dick in some irrational horny lapse of judgment because the guard is down and they usually don’t use condoms because they are too drunk to be smart about their junk, making the girls you meet in bars usually a lot dirtier than the whores you meet on the street and here’s some Elisha Cuthbert walking out of somewhere totally wasted with some big guy who gives it to her and will probably have to deal with her puking all over his chest after going down on him because the room is spinning and the dick is hitting the back of her throat, but I guess that’s a small price to pay to have some d-list actress who hardly works up on your dick.

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Wasted

2008

16

Apr

Elisha Cuthbert Does Maxim Topless of the Day

5 Comments »

Elisha Cuthbert did Maxim and looks good but I pretty much have no interest in this Cuthbert. She’s from Montreal but has denounced Montreal, which I totally understand but since she thinks she’s too good for the city, whenever she comes back to visit her family who still lives here she acts like she’s god’s gift to the city, like she’s the biggest export that everyone should acknowledge when all she’s really done is one stupid teen move and a job on 24 which to me is substantially less successful than other Montreal exports like Celine Dion that bitch is my hero.

What I was trying to do was reach out to her sister because I heard she was worth fucking and more accessible since she’s trying to break free from her sister’s shadow. Girls her feel less relevant than their sisters are always willing to suck dick because they feel they deserve the attention. I once knew these sisters who were both pretty slutty, but the one who killed herself was the one who wasn’t molested by her father. She always felt like a second rate citizen to her sister who was obviously more desirable, at least in her mind because their dad chose her and that left some serious emotional trauma. I like the think that the Cuthbert sister is up on the same shit, but instead of their dad choosing Elisha, the rest of the world has and that’s some pretty serious shit to try to live up to and that’s why I am willing to hold her hand through the hard times.

To Read the Article on Cuthbert
GO

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Maxim|Topless

2008

14

Feb

Elisha Cuthbert’s Got Some Cleavage of the Day

1 Comment »

Elisha Cuthbert is from Montreal and has a sister. I met someone who knows her and I decided that it would be funny to do stalker videos of her doing everyday things without her knowing. A little Elisha Cuthbert’s sister drunk leaving a club or Elisha Cuthbert’s sister buying milk or Elisha Cuthbert’s sister on a date. The lead I had told me she’s some store manager so I thought shit was easy. I figured that because her sister is an unsuccessful actress in Hollywood, she has to work retail to pay the bills, but then I was told that she doesn’t actually work and is hard to stalk because she thinks she’s some kind of local celebrity because of her sister’s fame so the idea was put on the back burner until I get more info.

It turns out that Elisha Cuthbert still has some tits and here are some pictures of her showing them off. The last I heard she was a lesbian with Paris Hilton and her lesbian haircut pretty much proves that to be a fact. So do her lesbian boots that I suspect are steel toed and go amazing with her flannel she left at home.

Either way, since she fucks Paris, I guess that means she’s got herpes, what I call the gift that keeps on giving… Paris is a modern day Mother Theresa, or even Santa Claus. She just keeps on handing that shit out like everyday is Christmas or like shit grows on trees, which I guess technically it does, because last I heard Paris had a pet monkey living in her box, no wait that was just Nicole Richie and they were just experimenting.

Elisha Cuthbert, if I was a hockey playing lesbian, would you be my Valentine?

Here are some pictures of Paris’ Practice Pussy that is now Damaged Goods in the world of Lesbianism because she has a boyfriend who “knocked” her up, when I really think dude’s just a bitch on hormone therapy cuz no man would be such a cunt….Nicole Richie showing off her pregnancy tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Tits

2007

16

Nov

I am – Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert Party Together of the Day

6 Comments »

I can’t figure out what’s worse, partying with Paris Hilton or partying with Paris Hilton and taking a backseat to her when the paparazzi hits, because they have more interest in her than you, when you’re the one who is supposed to be a movie star and she’s just a tranny lookin’ rich kid with a sex tape. It’s gotta be one of those desperate times callin’ for desperate measures in Elisha Cuthbert’s career but at least she’s wearing a Jewish Outfit of the Day because Jews always succeed and this projection shit may work…..I’ll admit, I didn’t really spend all that much time thinking about this important issue and Ididn’t spend all that much time writing this post. I’m sick, it happens, Fuck You.

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert is a Jewish Retiree
Elisha Cuthbert’s Sweater Tits
Paris Hilton’s Abortion Stain
Paris Hilton Does stepTV

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Paris Hilton|Party|Unsorted

2007

09

Nov

I am – Elisha Cuthbert in Stupid Pants of the Day

6 Comments »

I met a homeless looking guy who claimed he dated Elisha Cuthbert when she was in high school, because she’s from Montreal. He was telling me everything about her, from what her tits looked like, to what her pussy smelled and tasted like. He claimed that he knocked her up and she got an abortion and that letting her do that was the biggest mistake he ever made, because now his living on the street and he’ should be in a k-fed position. When I told him that if she had kept the baby, she would have never got work in LA, she’d be too busy trying to make ends meet..and by making ends meet, I mean suckin’ dick in back alleys and working the pole like all good teenage mothers.

The good thing about being impotent is that the less complicated things in life are amazing to me. Because the second you stick your dick in a girl it’s like you’ve locked yourself into some kind of problem that will present itself down the line, in my case it was just dealing with the rejection of them not wanting to fuck me again, and obviously the trying to cum during sex while they were crying, which is always hard to do because I am a nice guy.

Either way, I know that if I could get it up, I’d probably be fucking hookers every chance I got, and if I wasn’t fucking hookers, I’d be trying to fuck every little slut I come across, and that would make me a pretty bad husband, and since keeping up this husband of the year shit that’s so fuckin’ important to the core of who I am, I only make out with girls and suck their tits and try to finger bang them or go down on them and as far as I’m concerned that’s not cheating…..So what it comes down to is that my sex life is one of a 15 year old kid but with a lot more risk of catching STDs on my face, or getting girls pregnant with my tongue.

Either way, at least homeless dude can sleep well at night in his box while coming off whatever drugs he was on, knowing that he got her in her prime and that aging is playing a pretty mean joke on her and it’s always nice to see your hot teenage girlfriend turn into a washed up 35 year old fat chick with 4 babies and a lot of misery because her husband cheats on her and she’s poorer than you are, hypothetically of course….

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Looks Like a Jewish Retiree
Elisha Cuthbert In a Bikini
Elisha Cuthbert’s Cleavage and Unlit Cigarette for Horny Lohan Wanker
Elisha Cuthbert Smokin’ For Horny Lohan Wanker

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Mom Jeans|Unsorted

2007

24

Oct

I am – Elisha Cuthbert Looks Like a Jewish Retiree in Florida of the Day

No Comments »

Paypal are fucking thieves. I don’t make much money with the site, but sometimes some money comes in and these fuckers just shut me down and won’t give me my money back for 6 months because they have labeled me an “adult site”. I am going crazy because that is my drinking money and it pays for the server and my rent. Without it, I die and so does the site.

We regret to inform you that we cannot overturn the limitation on your account. Due to the violation of PayPals Acceptable Use Policy regarding Mature Audiences, your account has been permanently limited. The limitation is based on the site http://drunkenstepfahter.com. Please remove all references to PayPal from your website(s) and/or auction(s). This includes not only removing PayPal as a payment option, but also the PayPal logo and/or shopping cart.

If you have any questions, please contact the PayPal Acceptable Use Policy Department at aup@paypal.com

Sincerely,
PayPal Acceptable Use Policy Department
PayPal, an eBay Company

So when my life is in jeopardy and the survival is the only thing on my mind, I have no choice but to put up a fight. So, I am about to start war on these assholes. So if you or anyone you know work at Paypal and can help in my fight to bring them down I will need you to get me the contact info of their senior management team because trust me when I get mad, I get fucking mad, and I am about to start war on these motherfuckers. Even if it means getting my ass to their San Jose office…I will get my fucking money back.

Here are some pictures of Elisha Cuthbert lookin’ like shit, and by shit I mean like a Jewish Retiree in Florida, while leaving some bar last night, because I know you still have her posters of her on the wall. Hopefully this will help you move on.

According to the conservative christian cocksuckers at paypal, this pictures may be considered Mature Audience Content, o watch out.

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert’s Sweater Tits
Elisha Cuthbert Bikini
Elisha Cuthbert is Pale
Elisha Cuthbert is Fat

Posted in:Busted|Elisha Cuthbert|Paypal|Unsorted

2007

12

Sep

I am – Elisha Cuthbert’s Sweater Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I am an Elisha Cuthbert hater and I don’t know why. I just can’t stomach the bitch and whenever I see her in pictures I like to rip into her because it makes me feel better about myself and my hatred for her. She’s useless and since her last/only role she’s let herself go. But I am guessing she’s back in the workforce because these pictures of her out and about make her look pretty fucking good, so I am posting them as a way to retract my hatred for her and channel that shit into love because according the the shitty music my wife listens to, Love can Move Mountains.

You know what else can move mountains….money. I was at the bank machine trying to figure out my wife’s pin number because a man’s gotta eat/drink/see strippers and the motherfucker in front of me left his transaction receipt in the machine and as he walked away gave me an “I’m so much better than you” smirk. When I go to the machine, I pulled out his transaction slip and motherfucker had 72,000 dollars in his bank account. He passive aggressively told me that I am a fucking poor, hurtbag loser and that he’s so much better than me without saying a fucking word. To make the whole night even better, I couldn’t hack into my wife’s account and they cancelled her card I am not eating/drinking or seeing strippers. Thanks asshole.

Here are those Cuthbert looking hot again pictures….

The Sweater Tits:

Bonus – Some White Dress Action

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Bikini Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert Fat and Pale Leaving the Tanning Salon Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert is a Fat Smoker Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Sep

I am – Elisha Cuthbert's Sweater Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I am an Elisha Cuthbert hater and I don’t know why. I just can’t stomach the bitch and whenever I see her in pictures I like to rip into her because it makes me feel better about myself and my hatred for her. She’s useless and since her last/only role she’s let herself go. But I am guessing she’s back in the workforce because these pictures of her out and about make her look pretty fucking good, so I am posting them as a way to retract my hatred for her and channel that shit into love because according the the shitty music my wife listens to, Love can Move Mountains.

You know what else can move mountains….money. I was at the bank machine trying to figure out my wife’s pin number because a man’s gotta eat/drink/see strippers and the motherfucker in front of me left his transaction receipt in the machine and as he walked away gave me an “I’m so much better than you” smirk. When I go to the machine, I pulled out his transaction slip and motherfucker had 72,000 dollars in his bank account. He passive aggressively told me that I am a fucking poor, hurtbag loser and that he’s so much better than me without saying a fucking word. To make the whole night even better, I couldn’t hack into my wife’s account and they cancelled her card I am not eating/drinking or seeing strippers. Thanks asshole.

Here are those Cuthbert looking hot again pictures….

The Sweater Tits:

Bonus – Some White Dress Action

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Bikini Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert Fat and Pale Leaving the Tanning Salon Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert is a Fat Smoker Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

13

Aug

I am – Elisha Cuthbert’s Bikini Hides Behind the Camera Where She Belongs of the Day

10 Comments »

I knew a guy who used to bang Elisha Cuthbert before she was really famous. I am not trying to imply that she is good at what she does or that having what was pretty much a cameo appearance on 24 and 2 shitty movies no one saw under her belt makes her famous, but she is more famous than me.

Anyway, this dude knew her in her transition from a shitty Canadian kids show and her move to LA and I think they may have been still together when she was working her first job before she really made it. It was when she was insecure and had low self esteem. He told me that she used to suck his dick whenever he wanted, she would drag her teeth a little but always took his load on her face. She was constantly calling him and trying to see him, she was totally obsessed with him and he wore the pants and was the boss. When he didn’t want to see her, he wouldn’t answer, when he did want to see her, she’d drop everything she was doing to spend time with him, he pretty much owned her.

The second bitch moved to LA the tables turned. She got flooded with confidence. She was in her head better than all the kids she went to high school with. She was going to make it and leave her past behind. When she’d come visit, she’s be sure to drive by their houses in her luxury cars, wearing her designer clothes and obnoxiously wave but never give them the time of day, because she was over them….

Anyway, he’d call her and she wouldn’t answer. He went down to stay with her in the first month and she would come in late while he was there on her couch waiting, he became the bitch and when he went back to Canada, she never spoke to him again.

Who knows if the dude is telling the truth or not, I do know that I think Elisha Cuthbert is a waste of space, here she is at Paris Hilton’s party in Malibu wearing some stupid pants to cover her fat thighs and cellulite because it’s hard to get a job being the token hot chick when the world knows you’ve been eating too many donuts. Cunt.

Either way, I think bitch should start getting used to being behind the camera because at the rate things are going, it may end up being the only place she’ll be allowed on set….