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Archive for the Elle Macpherson Category

2010

24

May

Elle Macpherson Spreads Her Ex-Model Mom Legs of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Elle Macpherson that remind me of when I used to play “raid” with the hooker I used to “date”. I’d break into the shitty motel room in a cop costume, I’d pin her against the wall, I’d make her “spread em” and then I’d rape her, but it wasn’t really rape, because she was charging me and because my dick is so small it is hardly a weapon and even if I force myself on the bitch, it ends up a comical mess because they never knew dicks came that small and they get intrigued by how they don’t feel it inside them…but enough about me…there are pictures of Elle Macpherson from behind and despite being a mom and a retired model, she’s still got a place in my heart as being a woman I spent the summer of ’89 masturbating to.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Legs|Mom

2010

02

Mar

Elle Macpherson and Her Retired Model Legs of the Day

2 Comments »

It always impresses me when I see moms who look like Elle Macpherson, not that it happens ever, but it would impress me if I did, because moms just aren’t supposed to look worth fucking sober.

I am sure her baby daddy feels pretty fucking lucky that the mother of his kids is this easy to look at, but then again, I am sure her baby daddy fucks a lot hotter younger pussy than her, as he is probably really fucking rich, cuz models don’t really have kids with people who aren’t really fucking rich, it’s against their rules….

All I do know is that Elle Macpherson is fucking up my theory that pussy dies at 30. I traditionally hate older bitches but because older bitches usually expire. THe let themselves sag, droop, eat whatever they fucking want, turn disgusting and feel entitled cuz they are busy raising kids…bullshit….sure, she doesn’t work, she has nannies, she has a trainer who she pays more than most executives make a year, and it’s her fucking livlihood to stay lookin’ this good, but I just wish more women had that same drive and treated lookin’ good like it was their job. It would make parent-teacher night I sometimes sneak into at the local elementary school lookin’ for eager, desperate single-moms willing to support me, a lot more fun.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Legs|Model

2010

02

Feb

Trying To Look up Elle Macpherson’s Skirt of the Day

6 Comments »

I don’t know why Elle Macpherson is on a bed posing with bras but I am not as excited about it as I was in 1988 when she was showing off her nipples in the SI Swimsuit video back in a time when she was way more eager to get noticed, now bitch is all jacked up with support pantyhose and spanx and whatever else is containing her mom pussy to make sure it doesn’t sneak ot of her skirt as mom pussies tend to do when they are let out to play…but at least she gave us a glimpse of what could have been or maybe of what once was….and I’ve spent the last 10 mintues lookin’ at these pictures trying to see up her skirt but it’s been a serious waste of time….but I figured you’re just a bored as I am so I’m giving you something to do with your useless self. Giving you purpose. you’re welcome…

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via LFI

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Skirt

2009

17

Nov

Ex-Supermodel and Current Mothers Showing Off 20 Years Later of the Day

3 Comments »

Just because they get naked to shower off their kids’ puke and to have their weekly scheduled sex with their husbands and not to grace the covers of highend fashion magazines, doesn’t mean we have to give up on these sluts we all grew up jerking off to. They were the first wave of supermodels in my life.

I remember 1989 jerking off to Elle Macpherson in Sports Illustrated swimsuit. I remember jerking off to Cindy Crawford when she did Playboy in 1988 and I remember just thinking Claudia Schiffer was hot back before the David Copperfield days.

They probably weren’t innovators, their work probably insignificant, no better than being the bitch on a game show turning letters, or the bitches who work at conventions or conferences promoting products, but they probably think their impact was significant, because otherwise they’d just go out and kill themselves, but instead they are here showing off that genetics played a huge part in getting where they got, since they look fucking amazing and even 20 years later I’d jerk off to them if my dick had the same fate as their looks and didn’t break along the way.

Cindy Crawford and Her Mom Legs

Elle Macpherson Slutty Mom Legs in a Leather Skirt

BONUS – Possible Claudia Schiffer See Thru Dress Pics

Pics via INF
Pics via Fame
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Claudia Schiffer|Elle Macpherson|Legs

2009

13

Oct

Elle Macpherson’s Makes Elementary School Hot for the Non-Pedophiles of the Day

3 Comments »

When I was in elementary school, the only pussy I remember was one of the girls in my class asking me to watch her pee in the woods behind the school, and then there was lookin onto the stripclub beside the school that eventually burnt down, but before it did, we’d spend our lunch hours watching the strippers on smoke breaks in the parking lot, then there was the mother of one of the kids who was a total fucking whore, who doubled as our lunch monitor and wore all tight denim and leather in fuck me boots, with ridiculous bleached hair extensions before the world even knew what hair extensions were, and there was that one teacher who took an interest in the less fortunate male kids who taught us about sex using his ass as the vagina, but that’s not really where I wanted to go with this story, I wanted to say that no kid had a mom who looked like Elle Macpherson in these pics come pick them up, and if they did, I would have befriended them, provided they didn’t mind having a weird immigrant who spoke broken english as a friend, so that I could sneak in the mom’s room and play with her panties, I mean when I wasn’t getting molested by my teacher.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Elementary School|Elle Macpherson

2009

12

Aug

Elle Macpherson’s Got Sex Hair on Set of the Day

5 Comments »

Elle Macpherson got a job on some Ashton Kutcher bullshit show about models because she used to be a model and I guess it was a natural fit, but not quite as natural as the unprotected sex she had to get from her tribal village in Tazmania into the the big modeling world back in the 80s, not that that happened, but I like to imagine all women with bone through their noses and one down their throat, if you know what I mean, which I hope you do, cuz I don’t have any idea what I mean, I am just distracted by my love for Elle Macpherson even as her beauty slowly ripens into a sloppy mess, it’s like we’ve got history or some shit, thanks to my jerking off to her for the first time back in ’88, that was 20 years ago, and I could still get off to her, and not many pussies have that kind of longevity.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|On Set|Sex Hair

2009

10

Jul

Elle Macpherson in her Party Dress of the Day

5 Comments »

Elle Macpherson, like the expired milk in my fridge, is no longer in her prime. She doesn’t look or taste her best but when it really comes down to it, I’d still put her on my ceral and ignore them clumpy sour lumps, because you can’t eat cereal dry. If you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because this post is on some next level “written in code” shit, or at least it seems like it is, when in reality, I’m just an idiot, an idiot who still has a love for Elle Macpherson and if I am still alive when bitch is being pushed in a wheel chair and shitting herself at the old folks home, will still have a love for Elle Macpherson because she single handedly introduced me to SI Swimsuit Edition with her nipples in a time before porn and that kind of shit doesn’t get forgotten….

Posted in:Cocktail Dress|Elle Macpherson|Milf

2009

18

Jun

Elle Macpherson’s Hard Nipple Picks Up Her Kid at School of the Day

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Elle Macpherson’s nipple is hard which is a real coincidence because so is my clit of a dick which I pitch to girls as less work than a real dick and that usually gets me me a laugh, sure it’s not an orgasm, making all this pineapple I’ve been eating pretty much obsolete, but I guess a laugh is better than escorted out of the club.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Nipple

2009

17

Jun

Elle Macpherson Rides a Bike Seat of the Day

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There’s nothing I like more about summer than watching girls ride their bikes. I love seeing their spandex shorts covering their tight little biker asses if they are ambitious bikers. I love seeing their little hipster panties and bush if they’re more of the granola pussy that wears their flora skirts while riding to the organic food store. I love smelling the seats when they lock their shit up next to me and I love the smile on their faces, knowing that with each pedal comes pleasure for these whores….So seeing pictures of my original supermodel masturbation partner back in 88 on a bike is a little piece of heaven for me and that’s why I am sharing it with you….while she sells her soul for money by taking this weird job promoting the environment…

Posted in:Bike|Elle Macpherson

2009

08

Jun

Elle Macpherson’s Hard Nipples of the Day

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Elle Macpherson’s nipples are hard. That’s the story. Not much more to say about it. I could talk about jerkin’ off to her in 1989, but why bother, I’m trying to move on here, you know focus on the younger pussy, the fresher pussy, the pussy that isn’t mom pussy, or retired pussy, or my wife’s greasy pussy, so that’s all I want to say about that.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Hard Nipples