The Emmy Awards happened and I am sure that no one gave a fuck.
I know that I didn’t give a fuck and don’t give a fuck about what a panel of corrupt people who are paid off because they are cucks in an industry of dick suckers thing about anything. I don’t care if they decide on the best series, best actor, or any of that other shit, it’s just a marketing scheme that tries to prevent you from making your own damn decisions on what you like and don’t like….
Celebrities aren’t even hot chicks anymore, they are all basic and designed to be RELATABLE with their social media content and the days of us being impressed by them for being better than us because they are paid better than us and live better than us and we’re just useless mouth breathers here to suck on the sludge that they feed us…
There were old and boring tits at the event and here they are:
We’ve got Sofia Vergara tits which have proven to be the only interesting thing TV has done in the last 3 decades…even if she’s old and scary, her tits live on..
We’ve got some Jennifer Aniston dinosaur corpse….with the man face
We’ve got some Brie Larson trying to be cute, despite being a demon….showing off her wrinkles in a botox world, which may be something to celebrate, if she didn’t look like a ball sack.
Pale Dakota Fanning was there….
Rita Ora was there in a tight dress with a bit of a cancer patient look to her….
Seems like you need to be 40+ to be at this shit….Like some old timer Gala event raising money in the retirement community in Florida or some shit…
This is the best they’ve got? Where are the hot chicks? Isn’t this Hollywood? Confusing.
I already made an announcement about how out of touch I am with pop culture, celebrity and all that….because I had no idea the Emmy Awards were going on and even when I found out they were going on…I didn’t bother googling the results in anticipation to see the PR hustle of Hollywood lies….because I don’t care.
I’ll watch the shows that I watch on Netflix because I have a stolen account…and I’m qualified enough to decide if it is shit or not…and I don’t need to pin up performances because they are all destroying our minds equally….and don’t matter…just distract us from actual important things and make us dumber.
Celebs are rewarded enough, paid well enough, I don’t care about their events..
But I do post all the latest in celeb tits, and the EMMY included tits, so here’s my highlight reel….
ScarJo lives and looks like she’s sucking on sour candies…
Sydney Sweeney – the future is now – from Netflix to Big Young TIts…
Mandy Moore (really?) but she’s showing cleavage and that makes her matter…
Sarah Hyland Making the Most of her Tits, Really Maximizing Cleavage….
Check out her EYEBROW connecting to her hair like a Kardashian without the LASER…Don’t shame the hairy..just keep me inspired and engaged…wondering what the pussy bush looks like….probably remarkable!
Emilia Clarke Possibly See Through Top
Kirsten Dunst Mom Tits with Meth Damon….because when you’re geriatric pregnant that’s what you gotta do with your already big to begin with tits…
I wasn’t going to cover any Emmy Awards shit because the Emmy Awards are fucking lame and it was my attempt in protesting them. Reality is that I tried to watch them yesterday because I figured it would inspire me to hate the world more than I do or maybe even take the 4 hours of my life away from me. I promised a reader that I would live-blog but that didn’t happen. Life lesson, never trust a drunken Mexican.
I first tuned in on my neighbors TV during the pre-show red carpet shit and saw the fag from Queer Eye doing fashion play-by-play like it was a fucking sports show. I thought the concept was stupid and was forced to change channels, but that was after I saw lesbian Ellen and her wife who is not so lesbian but realizes that eating Ellen’s pussy is good for business, being interviewed. Ellen was a manic weirdo who must have been jacked on something and it made me question why we let Lesbians on TV.
I tuned in again for the opening performance that was some Family Guy shit, Stewie and the dog were singing about how shitty TV is, I think I laughed a few times but I was drunk and don’t really remember. I do know that I like Family Guy and think it’s the best written show, so I hope they won something.
Ryan Seacrest came on and didn’t make me or anyone in the audience even crack a smile. His jokes weren’t jokes and it was nice to see his Seacrest ship sink, I can only hope this continues in the next events he is involved in, because his demise is well deserved. He’s a 5 minutes of fame gone wrong situation, you know the kind of dude you hate that gets on some Dating Show but somehow turns it into years of success when his talent only should have got him to the elimination round….
The second Ray Romano came on was the second I turned the shit off. I hate his voice and seeing him on TV reminded me why I don’t watch TV. I used to go crazy everytime his show came on, I am talking throwing shit at the TV to make the pain stop.
I also kept catching my neighbor staring at me while rubbing his leg, and despite being all for dirty old men, I can’t accept dirty old men giving me the eye mainly because I am not into gay but also because I am disgusting looking and anyone giving me the eye whether man or woman is clearly fucked in the head and someone I don’t want to be around…I felt like I accidentally walked into some kind of secret gay man hook up zone like a public bathroom that fags use as a meeting place to fuck while their wives are out shopping or some shit…and despite it being more exciting than the Emmies, I still had to get the fuck out.
Here are some pictures of the event:
Christina Aguilera and Her Pregnancy Tits
Eva Longoria and Her Mexican Ass
Hayden Panettiere and Her Floppy Tits Hiding Under a Tent of a Dress I can only assume she wanted to wear adult sizes for once and this is the result
Heidi Klum is Living Beauty and the Beast
Jaime Lynn Sigler Brings Her Eating Disorder as Her Date
Jaime Pressly 4 Months After Letting The World Knows She Has Unprotected Sex By Having a Baby
Jennifer Love Hewitt Hiding Her Fat Ass We All Know She Has…
Kaley Cuoco Because She’ll Never Be On TV Again
Katherine Heigl is the Big Winner…Literally…
Kristen Bell Because I Don’t Know Who She Is…
Lisa Rinna Because She Hasn’t Been on TV for a Decade…But Her Fake Tits Get Her Past Security…
Maria Menounos Because She’s Greek and Takes it in the Ass
Michelle Pfeiffer is Old But Still Hotter Than Anyone You Know…
Phoebe Price Because Her Dress Has Windows
Portia DiRossi Because She’s a Fake Lesbian and We Like Fake Lesbians Because It Means They Will Let Us Fuck Them While They Eat Out Their Friends…
Teri Hatcher Because She Banged Ryan Seacrest
I am sure there are more, but this took me long enough to do and I am over the Emmy Awards….
Bonus – Christina Aguilera Performance with Tony Bennett
