I don’t know when this was taken or what the backstory is…but I like to think that all celebrities, especially those who killed John Ritter on set with their hotness…are into flashing their fake tits, otherwise they wouldn’t have got fake tits, it’s basic logic if you know anyone with fake tits, they make sure you know they have the fake tits, and even make you grab the fake tits, like showing off a new car – but tits.
The only reason you haven’t seen her naked yet is because she has a 100,000,000 dollar contract for the Banger nerd show, and there’s a nudity clause in her contract…no naked….no naked…but she’s so ready.
So Kayley Cuoco killed John Ritter with her good looks on set of 8 Simple Rules a bunch of years ago, because 19 year old babes running around set in their panties with their tits hanging out is hard on the fucking heart.
Well now she’s killing penis everywhere looking like some kind of monster, cracked out prescription medication, probably dealing with the guilt of murdering Jack Tripper, and shit is finally starting to take a toll.
But at least she’s got tits, cuz tits can save a bitch from bad hair, scared animal in the headlights, “I just woke up and don’t know where I am why are there all these cameras” situations, but unfortunately, they don’t bring back people from the dead.
As far as I’m concerned she’s got fat. As far as you’re concerned “Tits”, cuz that’s all that matters.
I already posted SOME OF THE ALLURE NUDE PICS FROM LAST MONTH’S ISSUE and forgotten about it….but that was before seeing these photoshopped pics of Ashley Tisdale and Kayley Cuoco who are showing a little nudity, strategic nudity, but nudity none the less….Maybe it is their way of saying they are wild and crazy….maybe Tisdale figures showing some ass crack will put her in the same league as her partner who has outgrown her by growing out her pubic hair, releasing nudes and getting consistent work…Vanessa Hudgens…..and maybe Cuoco is doing it to show us what killed John Ritter…or what is actually behind her being the hot girl on a nerd show….and what it comes down to is that it doesn’t fucking matter…they are naked and here are the pics they might as well be wearing clothes in….
Kayley Cuoco is the girl I like to blame for John Ritter’s death, only because I know that hanging out with slutty 18 year old girls who pretend they are your 16 year old daughter, is some of the hottest shit ever that leads to a lot of jerking off, choking yourself out, trying to bust nut heavy in between takes to make your erection subside…but I could be wrong, maybe it was just all the coke in the 70s…and really who cares about John Ritter right now, cuz it’s all about Kayley Cuoco’s hustle since that show, now on another show, rockin’ the cover of magazines, and finally rockin’ a set of tits, cuz I guess she’s hit puberty, or maybe she’s just on the pill, and maybe you should just look at the pics..and forgot I ever posted anything – shouldn’t be so hard..
I wasn’t going to cover any Emmy Awards shit because the Emmy Awards are fucking lame and it was my attempt in protesting them. Reality is that I tried to watch them yesterday because I figured it would inspire me to hate the world more than I do or maybe even take the 4 hours of my life away from me. I promised a reader that I would live-blog but that didn’t happen. Life lesson, never trust a drunken Mexican.
I first tuned in on my neighbors TV during the pre-show red carpet shit and saw the fag from Queer Eye doing fashion play-by-play like it was a fucking sports show. I thought the concept was stupid and was forced to change channels, but that was after I saw lesbian Ellen and her wife who is not so lesbian but realizes that eating Ellen’s pussy is good for business, being interviewed. Ellen was a manic weirdo who must have been jacked on something and it made me question why we let Lesbians on TV.
I tuned in again for the opening performance that was some Family Guy shit, Stewie and the dog were singing about how shitty TV is, I think I laughed a few times but I was drunk and don’t really remember. I do know that I like Family Guy and think it’s the best written show, so I hope they won something.
Ryan Seacrest came on and didn’t make me or anyone in the audience even crack a smile. His jokes weren’t jokes and it was nice to see his Seacrest ship sink, I can only hope this continues in the next events he is involved in, because his demise is well deserved. He’s a 5 minutes of fame gone wrong situation, you know the kind of dude you hate that gets on some Dating Show but somehow turns it into years of success when his talent only should have got him to the elimination round….
The second Ray Romano came on was the second I turned the shit off. I hate his voice and seeing him on TV reminded me why I don’t watch TV. I used to go crazy everytime his show came on, I am talking throwing shit at the TV to make the pain stop.
I also kept catching my neighbor staring at me while rubbing his leg, and despite being all for dirty old men, I can’t accept dirty old men giving me the eye mainly because I am not into gay but also because I am disgusting looking and anyone giving me the eye whether man or woman is clearly fucked in the head and someone I don’t want to be around…I felt like I accidentally walked into some kind of secret gay man hook up zone like a public bathroom that fags use as a meeting place to fuck while their wives are out shopping or some shit…and despite it being more exciting than the Emmies, I still had to get the fuck out.
Here are some pictures of the event:
Christina Aguilera and Her Pregnancy Tits
Eva Longoria and Her Mexican Ass
Hayden Panettiere and Her Floppy Tits Hiding Under a Tent of a Dress I can only assume she wanted to wear adult sizes for once and this is the result
Heidi Klum is Living Beauty and the Beast
Jaime Lynn Sigler Brings Her Eating Disorder as Her Date
Jaime Pressly 4 Months After Letting The World Knows She Has Unprotected Sex By Having a Baby
Jennifer Love Hewitt Hiding Her Fat Ass We All Know She Has…
Kaley Cuoco Because She’ll Never Be On TV Again
Katherine Heigl is the Big Winner…Literally…
Kristen Bell Because I Don’t Know Who She Is…
Lisa Rinna Because She Hasn’t Been on TV for a Decade…But Her Fake Tits Get Her Past Security…
Maria Menounos Because She’s Greek and Takes it in the Ass
Michelle Pfeiffer is Old But Still Hotter Than Anyone You Know…
Phoebe Price Because Her Dress Has Windows
Portia DiRossi Because She’s a Fake Lesbian and We Like Fake Lesbians Because It Means They Will Let Us Fuck Them While They Eat Out Their Friends…
Teri Hatcher Because She Banged Ryan Seacrest
I am sure there are more, but this took me long enough to do and I am over the Emmy Awards….
Bonus – Christina Aguilera Performance with Tony Bennett
I know who Kayle Cuoco is because her shitty teenage daughter show was on the one channel we get a few years ago. It was about dating a teenage daughter or something and was the set John Ritter had his heart stop on. I guess that’s not really the point. The point is that Kayle’s tag along friend, who I have no idea who she is, is rocking a sheer top with no bra. It makes me laugh at how competitive girls can be. They are always at each other’s throats all while pretending how much they love each other. If you don’t get where I am going with this, you are an idiot, but to drive the point home I will leave you with this…The Kayle Cuoco friend is trying to ride her friend’s “celeb” status and when it comes to landing an invite to some celeb event, she doesn’t wear a bra because nipples are the one way ticket to stardom, according to me, which isn’t saying much. I am typing with one eye open because I am drunk and very proud of my skills. Let’s Dance..
I know who Kayle Cuoco is because her shitty teenage daughter show was on the one channel we get a few years ago. It was about dating a teenage daughter or something and was the set John Ritter had his heart stop on. I guess that’s not really the point. The point is that Kayle’s tag along friend, who I have no idea who she is, is rocking a sheer top with no bra. It makes me laugh at how competitive girls can be. They are always at each other’s throats all while pretending how much they love each other. If you don’t get where I am going with this, you are an idiot, but to drive the point home I will leave you with this…The Kayle Cuoco friend is trying to ride her friend’s “celeb” status and when it comes to landing an invite to some celeb event, she doesn’t wear a bra because nipples are the one way ticket to stardom, according to me, which isn’t saying much. I am typing with one eye open because I am drunk and very proud of my skills. Let’s Dance..
