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Archive for the Haircut Category




Lindsay Lohan Got Her Hair Done for her Birthday of the Day

Lindsay Lohan got a haircut and that disappoints me. Everyone says she’s a drug addict, but real drug addicts don’t care about their appearance, they are too busy trying to get drugs to maintain their shit, you know they are the kind of people who only shave their pussies or shower for the sake of getting money to buy more drugs…

Either way, I’m still waiting for my Lohan birthday invitation. I assume she’s too busy getting her hair done to return my calls. Maybe I’ll just have to stalk call her night and fuckin’ day.

Here’s everyone’s favorite lesbian Lohan doin’ her thing…we just haven’t figured out what that thing is…but we have figured out we want to see her naked all the time….

Posted in:Haircut|Lindsay Lohan




Hayden Panettiere’s Shorts and Haircut of the Day

Everyone is freaking out about Hayden Panettiere’s haircut, you know cuz it’s short and closer to the brush cut she had when she didn’t pretend to be a girl and embraced her penis…I just wanted to say that I am not one of those people.

Posted in:Haircut|Hayden Panettiere|Shorts




Jodie Marsh’s Lesbian Haircut of the Day

Last week I was at a party and a girl was sitting at the bar next to me, she had this stupid shaved side of her head that I hadn’t really seen since the 80s at punk shows and I was kinda surprised it made a comeback since shit was heavily lesbionic. I sat there staring at it for a while, because the girl was one of those fashionista bottle whore types, and not a ratty street kid like you’d expect to see with half her head shaved and over the course of 20 minutes she was next to me, her friend kept coming up to her and telling her how much they loved her hair, when I decided to chime in and say something along the lines of the fact that no penis will ever go near her again….ever, and she just blew me off and by the end of the night, I saw that I was totally wrong, because she was dancing on a table for a bunch of men, which goes to show you that, despite ripping away all things potentially sexy about you, by raping your head, guys will still stick it to you, because you have a vagina.

That said, when I saw these pictures of UK slut Jodie Marsh with the letter N dyed into her hair, like a bad hip hop video, I thought the same thing, but then I realized she’s still got insane tits, so who really cares about whatever fuckin’ statement she’s trying to make, because all I want to do is sneak into her bedroom and steal a pair of her dirty panties to try to figure out the secret ingredient in her Big Mac’s special sauce and I am going to have to with 6 month old stale semen, because I’m pretty sure this chick is a dyke now, or at least that’s what her hair and the company she keeps is telling me. It’s also telling me to stop this post now because no one gives a fuck about her.

Posted in:Haircut|Jodie Marsh|Lesbian




Ashley Tisdale Got a Haircut of the Day

Writing about celebrities I don’t care about everyday is pretty fucking tedious. Before starting this site I was way more self absorbed and would really only worry about what was going on in my everyday life and wouldn’t really pay any attention to what rich and glamorous girl who I didn’t find half as hot as some of the girls giving me lapdances, was in a bikini, but unfortunately this is the life I chose and the course I took and I am so on top of shit that when Ugly Jewish Girl who is actually almost 30 but pretends she’s closer to 20 to get roles of the day get haircuts, I notice.

I never thought I’d spend my day trying to say clever things about some of the most uninspiring things out there, but I guess it’s better than my last job packin’ boxes at a food processing plant that I got fired from for being drunk. Sure the money’s not as good, but I have no one to tell me that I am not allowed to drop my pants, drink my booze and smoke my cigars. It’s almost as amazing as the fact that people actually find Ashley Tisdale someone hot and worth jerking off to, I can only assume have lowered their standards because they think she’s actually a real life highschool girl and not just a slut pretending to be one, because in my experience older guys always lower their standards when they find a teenager willing to fuck them, because there is no other reason for anyone calling this piece hot.

Here she is wearing a period shirt so that it doesn’t stain when shit splashes up when she’s peeing.

Here she is in some crazy pants….before the Haircut….

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Haircut




Jessica Biel and Her Lesbian Haircut of the Day

Nothing says coming to terms with your lesbianism like rockin’ a fucking lesbian haircut and nothing says lesbian haircut like a femme-mullet. I don’t know what more you dudes need to believe the inevitable, it’s like you will only stop jerking off to her ripped body when you see videos of her slammin the shit out of Justin Timberlake with her huge cock.

It’s like that time that everyone told me that this dude I was hanging out with was into dudes and he’d always make subtle passes at me and I’d just blow it off like it wasn’t a thing because I had never caught him in the fucking act, I’d tell those naysayers they were fucking crazy, until one morning after passing out drunk at his house, I woke up with my cock in his mouth. Between you and me, I let him finish, but that’s just because I was half asleep and only fags turn down blowjobs, but what it came down to was that my friend was actually gay and I was just blind to it because he seemed like such a normal and cool guy.

So sometimes things can’t be laid out for you like that and you have to take the facts and come to your own conclusions and my conclusion is that Jessica Biel eats pussy.

Posted in:Haircut|Jessica Biel|Lesbian