Kate Beckinsale won’t die. She’s old as shit but she’s not rotting at the appropriate speed. It’s safe to assume that she is infact a vampire, maybe not a traditional one, just one who makes kale smoothies with dead babies she buys off her Mexican gardners.

This is strategic hydration, diet, exercise, botox, I don’t know what the fuck is responsible for an old lady to still be hot, but the old lady still be hot.

In this series of photos she is tonguing a man in an Eamonn Holmes mask, I only know that because she tagged Eamonn Holmes, who is an Irish journalist, host of a morning how, presenter, whatever…that may have been fucked by Beckinsale at some point in his life, or who is just a punchline to a very weird joke if you’re not British…

The point of the post is her tongue, set up for you to imagine it in your asshole, which is what the young people Kate Beckinsale dates are into, so you know she does it to compensate for the decomposing smell she’s got.

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Kate Beckinsale brings in the Satanic Christmas Spirit in being one of those Hollywood types who has sold her soul to the devil to have a career and to not rot out the same way common-folk do, arguably a decent trade off since she’s likely a vampire and her whole eternity in hell, will actually be an eternity on earth before someone stakes her in the heart.

She’s got her tits in a bush up bra and her face done up in a clown-like way that you can assume is filters, or fillers of instagram, giving her the look and the venue to produce her slutty old lady acting like a 20 year old raver in the 90s….you know back when she was in her 40s.

She’s not fat, she’s in goth fetish boots, her tits are out and her old face has been re-jigged thanks to the modern advancements of man and technology, some cyborg AI shit…and it’s weirdly hotter than your family Christmas, especially now that mom is old and seems to like shitting herself at the dinner table in a way you know she’s just trolling you and not actually having accidents….

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We’re in a weirdo era where 16 year old girls are getting face injections and looking like 50 year old housewives of Beverly Hills, or washed up strippers from the 90s.

So many people have thrown out the natural look, or the natural aging process and decided to fuck with it like they are a Kardashian.

I guess this isn’t anything new, because in the 90s, so many women got huge implants and bleached their hair to look like Pam Anderson, she was the ideal or trending hot benchmark….

Unfortunately for society, the Kardashians became that new look, or what it means to be hot, so we have a lot of dumpy weird looking clowns that remind me a pile of dog shit with those googley eyes attached to it.

So yeah, no one ages gracefully or likes looking old naturally, instead they like to fuck with it strategically, but getting old still happens, it just looks weird.

Beckinsale, the young comediaan fucker for their sperm does it well, even though she’s rotting, she’s like putting the loaf of bread in the fridge or freezer and hoping for a few more years of this…

Still hot, just skewing weird.

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Kate Beckinsale is what I would call a highly contentious talent, that isn’t necessarily talent, but who was able to game the system by strategically staying as hot as possible for as long as possible.

So despite being a mom in her mid 50s, she pulled off looking like she did in her late 20s and it never made sense.

As we all know, strategic fillers, botox, fillers, starving yourself, working out, getting blood transfusions with babies and eating the sperm of 20 year old up and coming comedians like it is a rite of passage, instagram filters, augmented reality and AI can all help in looking young on the internet.

But there comes a time when the attempt to stay young looking goes too far and the bitch looks either like she’s old, or like a clown at the fucking circus. It’s a fine line to walk the “is she a tranny” over worked monster or the is she just a 50 year old old…because people are vapid and don’t want to be the 50 year old.

Well, today we see the REAL paparazzi version, where bitch has a joker face, which is not a Lady Gaga song, but you can sing it like it is….but her instagram pics don’t really show as much of a joker face.

You can’t fake aging bitches, that pussy rot is real and unavoidable.

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Kate Beckinsale produced this fun shoot involving her silly cat in a denim jacket, checking her out in her denim jacket, wondering why she’s not wearing a shirt under her denim jacket and realizing that it’s probably a seduction tactic to get some young cock to cum in her and provide her with the hormones that she needs to stay as youthful as possible because at 50 years old, her sex appeal is starting to become questionable and look a little more plastic or Augmented Reality filter than it probably should….eventually she’ll be a cat faced lady and not just a pervert lady with cats…but for now, she’s still passable and that’s magical…or confusing…or demonic…who cares she’s near topless when she really doesn’t have to be.

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Crowd favorite Kate Beckinsale is still bringing the hotness, like she doesn’t realize she’s 100 fucking years old, because she’s a vampire that just won’t fucking die…even though her pussy, which I liken to being her soul, is likely dead a few times over, weathered like a 300 year old corpse…but that’s just how I feel about most 50 year old rich kids turned LA actresses with mid-level talent that got them into higher profile projects, including but not limited to Scorcese’s Aviator.

I am sure this is a lot of AI, AR, technological advances in photography to give the illusion that something is hotter or younger than it is. It’s also probably thanks to vanity, diet, exercise, taking loads on her face, taking young cum inside her for their youthful hormones she needs to rot less aggressively or at least to mask up the smell of her rot….

But the truth is, she’s still lookin’ hot to me….and I hate old chicks and know she’s an old chick, so clearly some sorcery is going on here…..

Here she is doing some weird lesbian sex / New Age weirdness:

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A post shared by Kate Beckinsale (@katebeckinsale)

Here she is in selfie form.

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Kate Beckinsale posted a slutty selfie in a pair of bike shorts and despite thinking there’s not much gayer than bicycle shorts, except when the girls are wearing them, and girls they are wearing them, even old as shit bitches…I dedicate weekly tight pant post to the trend….

Kate Beckinsale who must be a vampire who doesn’t age, or just really good at filters, fillers and photoshop….and most importantly, not getting fat, still looks good, despite knowing her cunt was ravaged by Pete Davidson….

I’m generally not one of those dudes who hates what a whore puts in her, or who that dick they put in them was attached to, but Pete Davidson’s fucking gross to look at, no matter how big his dick is rumored to be or how charming he may be as he plays up the 9/11 conspiracy….making us wish it was TAKE YOUR KID TO WORK DAY when it happened….at least for his dad….if you’re gonna die, bring your piece of shit with you.

ANYWAY, this tight short selfie is shocking because I can’t see ANY pussy definition, like she doesn’t have an old, leathery, blown out, dried up cunt at all….or like she’s not up on the trend of FRONTAL wedgie, and if that’s not a GREAT way to ruin a good time with TIGHT pants, I don’t know what is.

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I don’t know how many generations back Kate Beckinsale’s “Elite” goes. I know her parents were famous, but I don’t know if that was just by hard work and NOT selling their soul, or if they are from some original bloodline of reptiles that link back to Vlad the Impaler, the original Dracula, but it would make for a fun twist that would explain why she still looks this hot at 49.

I get that fitness, diet, being rich, being obsessive, napping a lot from not having anywhere to be, with strategic surgeries or injections can buy a bitch some extra years, but that’s not enough of a reason for me to still consider her this hot at 49.

There has to be some reason besides taking loads from young guys cuz she’s unable to have kids, she’s 49.

So I’m sticking with – she’s a vampire, nothing else makes sense.

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