Kate Beckinsale is the 300 year old vampire from the UK who has been sucking the cum of the youth to keep her youthful for a long time, it’s a different kind of vampire, where the human blood is young cum….a premise of a shitty porn I should have written 20 years ago so that I’d be retired in the Florida Keys by now.

Anyway, she’s got a skinny tight body and not just for an old lady, but for any lady….we’ve assumed it’s from anorexia, over fitness, drug addiction, body dysmorphia, giving into the pressures of being a famous hot chick that has a nerdy fan base that expect her to be a skinny hot chick will into her 70s.

So when she posted a perverted old lady at the home dancing in her underwear because she has dementia and still thinks she’s in her 20s working at the burlesque theatre in Missouri….a dude made a standard “did you dance your ass off” joke….you know the one, it’s what you ask a flat assed girl in the bar when dancing to get her to sit on your face via the NEGATIVE hit…..you know the “I will prove you that my ass is perfectly fine, sir, because appeasing the male and being validated by the male is what I am wired for…..so let me sit on your face, master”….

Anyway, Beckinsale got defensive in the comments, told the homie that the reason she’s skinny is because her dad died, her stepfather died, her mom got cancer (GET ANOTHER SHOT IDIOTS)…..and that she had to play the role of someone who lost her father because she’s about 60 years old and her parents would likely be the “Should already be dead age”….

So all the stress lead to her sucking dick so hard, so deep, it burned a hole through her esophagus….or maybe it’s the post nasal drip from the bad cocaine…or maybe it’s GERD…or maybe it’s COVID…

All this to say, she was puking up blood on cocks….and survived, despite the hospitalization, which is probably less embarrassing than the hospitalization a girl I know had because she took a dick too big for her and it split her cooter up into her asshole like birthing twins…forcing a government funded labiaplasty…

FUN, but not as fun as all the inspiration quotes she’s posting to her instagram story, the kind that make you KNOW bitch is crazy….

Not to mention, being defensive for having the body of an 18 year old who hasn’t quite hit puberty yet at 70 is nothing to be defensive about, small asses on skinny chicks can be a great time in part because skinny chicks, especially in their 70s are really easy to fist, no fat to get in the way of the direct line to the uterus, or where the uterus once was when she was still fertile.

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Kate Beckinsale posted a video that the official story states is her mooning a department store the day that her cat Clyde a year ago but I like to think she’s shitting out of the window as part of some celebrity fetish because just not showing us that part, because that’s a far weirder fetish or thing to do and these celebrities have to level up their fetishes in order to get the same thrills normal people would get.

Clyde was actually a pretty interesting cat that she would put into a lot of her content and I was a fan of online presence…I am into the animals of the internet more than I am into the crackheads, the instagram models, the whores and the celebrities of the internet, so when they die, I feel it too….it is a loss for us all…but I guess a bit of a win for us because it gets his owner showing off her ass….not that a dying cat is worth seeing a weirdly shot Beckinsale ass…but if the cat’s going to die anyway, it might as well come her ass.

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Either Kate Beckinsale is tapping into the trends by producing lesbian clickbait now that everyone is a lesbian.

However, it’s a little sad to be lesbian clickbait, not that Lesbian clickbait is happy, but at least it’s something you can jerk off to if you’re in the right mood and the lesbians aren’t the kind that are built like me, or that have transitioned to me, because those lesbians are boring…but hot lesbians licking each other’s assholes while they ride each other’s faces aren’t…

So, I’m of the school of thought that would like to see some traditional hot old lady divorcee going through menopause deciding to be a lesbian since it’s a fetish not a predisposition….when there is fisting…

This is a little sadder, it could be Beckinsale practicing for when she actually dies off from whatever disease sent her to the hospital….the cuddle that could be a loving friend trying to help her dying friend through it…only fro the dying friend to die…and that’s not a fetish to me, but it could be to you, since the only Beckinsale you’ll ever fuck is the kind you dig up from the cemetery, who will likely be cremated, so the closest you’ll get is dusting your balls with her…

HOT.

Here are her oversized panties that are possibly child sized panties because she’s living her best near-corpse life….

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Kate Beckinsale, the 80 year old you still want to fuck because she looks pretty hot and she’s famous, rich and in movies you like so even if she had died from whatever disease she has, you’d dig her up and fuck yourself with the bones, assuming she’s not getting cremated, but if she is, you’d cum in those too…just you humping granny’s urn like the super fan that you are….

I appreciate her last racy content pieces, her arms look jacked up from IVs, her legs spread in little shorts, using her skinny from disease to her advantage and leaving her online memorial a better place for us all after she’s gone….

HOT.

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Kate Beckinsale potentially spent a few months in the hospital dying of whatever diseases she may have accumulated in having anal sex with Pete Davidson back when they were dating.

It is possible that the vampire who doesn’t age too aggressively was getting an overhaul at the hospital, where they are replacing her old engine with new parts to help her continue to be worthy of jerking off.

Terminal illness, which I’ll assume she has since she’s old hasn’t been this jerk-off-able since the time I was working at the old folks trying to get into the wills of the dying grannies in exchange for sex.

Cool short shorts, she’s dressed like a college kid, while being the mom of the college kid, who is probably already graduated from college or at least old enough to be, since Beckinsale is old…

I guess what I am saying is that like a romance movie, I am drawn to terminal illness pussy because it requires lest commitment and you come out of it the sad victim which lures in other pussy that thinks you are broken, sad and in need of love.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

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Kate Beckinsale won’t die. She’s old as shit but she’s not rotting at the appropriate speed. It’s safe to assume that she is infact a vampire, maybe not a traditional one, just one who makes kale smoothies with dead babies she buys off her Mexican gardners.

This is strategic hydration, diet, exercise, botox, I don’t know what the fuck is responsible for an old lady to still be hot, but the old lady still be hot.

In this series of photos she is tonguing a man in an Eamonn Holmes mask, I only know that because she tagged Eamonn Holmes, who is an Irish journalist, host of a morning how, presenter, whatever…that may have been fucked by Beckinsale at some point in his life, or who is just a punchline to a very weird joke if you’re not British…

The point of the post is her tongue, set up for you to imagine it in your asshole, which is what the young people Kate Beckinsale dates are into, so you know she does it to compensate for the decomposing smell she’s got.

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Kate Beckinsale brings in the Satanic Christmas Spirit in being one of those Hollywood types who has sold her soul to the devil to have a career and to not rot out the same way common-folk do, arguably a decent trade off since she’s likely a vampire and her whole eternity in hell, will actually be an eternity on earth before someone stakes her in the heart.

She’s got her tits in a bush up bra and her face done up in a clown-like way that you can assume is filters, or fillers of instagram, giving her the look and the venue to produce her slutty old lady acting like a 20 year old raver in the 90s….you know back when she was in her 40s.

She’s not fat, she’s in goth fetish boots, her tits are out and her old face has been re-jigged thanks to the modern advancements of man and technology, some cyborg AI shit…and it’s weirdly hotter than your family Christmas, especially now that mom is old and seems to like shitting herself at the dinner table in a way you know she’s just trolling you and not actually having accidents….

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We’re in a weirdo era where 16 year old girls are getting face injections and looking like 50 year old housewives of Beverly Hills, or washed up strippers from the 90s.

So many people have thrown out the natural look, or the natural aging process and decided to fuck with it like they are a Kardashian.

I guess this isn’t anything new, because in the 90s, so many women got huge implants and bleached their hair to look like Pam Anderson, she was the ideal or trending hot benchmark….

Unfortunately for society, the Kardashians became that new look, or what it means to be hot, so we have a lot of dumpy weird looking clowns that remind me a pile of dog shit with those googley eyes attached to it.

So yeah, no one ages gracefully or likes looking old naturally, instead they like to fuck with it strategically, but getting old still happens, it just looks weird.

Beckinsale, the young comediaan fucker for their sperm does it well, even though she’s rotting, she’s like putting the loaf of bread in the fridge or freezer and hoping for a few more years of this…

Still hot, just skewing weird.

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Kate Beckinsale is what I would call a highly contentious talent, that isn’t necessarily talent, but who was able to game the system by strategically staying as hot as possible for as long as possible.

So despite being a mom in her mid 50s, she pulled off looking like she did in her late 20s and it never made sense.

As we all know, strategic fillers, botox, fillers, starving yourself, working out, getting blood transfusions with babies and eating the sperm of 20 year old up and coming comedians like it is a rite of passage, instagram filters, augmented reality and AI can all help in looking young on the internet.

But there comes a time when the attempt to stay young looking goes too far and the bitch looks either like she’s old, or like a clown at the fucking circus. It’s a fine line to walk the “is she a tranny” over worked monster or the is she just a 50 year old old…because people are vapid and don’t want to be the 50 year old.

Well, today we see the REAL paparazzi version, where bitch has a joker face, which is not a Lady Gaga song, but you can sing it like it is….but her instagram pics don’t really show as much of a joker face.

You can’t fake aging bitches, that pussy rot is real and unavoidable.

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Kate Beckinsale produced this fun shoot involving her silly cat in a denim jacket, checking her out in her denim jacket, wondering why she’s not wearing a shirt under her denim jacket and realizing that it’s probably a seduction tactic to get some young cock to cum in her and provide her with the hormones that she needs to stay as youthful as possible because at 50 years old, her sex appeal is starting to become questionable and look a little more plastic or Augmented Reality filter than it probably should….eventually she’ll be a cat faced lady and not just a pervert lady with cats…but for now, she’s still passable and that’s magical…or confusing…or demonic…who cares she’s near topless when she really doesn’t have to be.

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