I was on this kick last week that my exit strategy with the site was to sell it to Lohan for $100,000 and issue a press release and stop my writing and go on a drinking binge. So I started harassing Stavros because I have his phone number trying to get him to make it happen. He never returned my calls, I should have recorded my messages, but it was all top secret business strategy and I like to keep somethings as a surprise but now that the idea has been flushed down the toilet with my stepdaughter’s tampons, I figure I can share with you….I guess the fact that you aren’t reading this also helps….

I guess I was all about Lohan buying the site was because I feel a connection to her. She was the original slut I stalked, I have watched her go from party slut to bigger party slut to fake rehab to smoking opium at hotel parties after rehab to nip slips and vagina shots and herpes and all the good fucking times that make her who she is. I feel like I could be her real stepfather and that I have had a bigger role in raising her than her own drunken father…

That said, she’s looking nice and thick in her tights and oversized Jewish Outfit of the Day top, covering what could be a pregnancy but is probably more like a whole lot of ice cream….From one fat guy to another, you’re still lookin great in my books, sweetheart.

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I was on this kick last week that my exit strategy with the site was to sell it to Lohan for $100,000 and issue a press release and stop my writing and go on a drinking binge. So I started harassing Stavros because I have his phone number trying to get him to make it happen. He never returned my calls, I should have recorded my messages, but it was all top secret business strategy and I like to keep somethings as a surprise but now that the idea has been flushed down the toilet with my stepdaughter’s tampons, I figure I can share with you….I guess the fact that you aren’t reading this also helps….

I guess I was all about Lohan buying the site was because I feel a connection to her. She was the original slut I stalked, I have watched her go from party slut to bigger party slut to fake rehab to smoking opium at hotel parties after rehab to nip slips and vagina shots and herpes and all the good fucking times that make her who she is. I feel like I could be her real stepfather and that I have had a bigger role in raising her than her own drunken father…

That said, she’s looking nice and thick in her tights and oversized Jewish Outfit of the Day top, covering what could be a pregnancy but is probably more like a whole lot of ice cream….From one fat guy to another, you’re still lookin great in my books, sweetheart.

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Lohan is my kind of girl. She’s up on cool shit like smoking opium and hipsters and she just doesn’t give a fuck about pretty much anything. She fucks with the media, she goes to rehab only to come out of rehab and continue what she is doing, while pretending that she’s not doing it because she’s a fucking actor. Here she is in GQ from a Terry Richardson photo shoot.

Terry Richardson is the kind of guy I thought I liked because he took raw, sexual, drugged out pictures of people. I stole his book Terry World and thought he was authentic. When I found out that he was the Vice photographer, I lost all respect for him, because Vice is the biggest lie around, pretending to be core while being owned by Viacom and everything they do is for the advertiser…Maybe I am bitter because they never ran my how to fuck a hooker for free article.

Anyway, point being whether Terry Richardson is real, authentic or an artist or hack, it’s pretty clear he’s a cunt, but the kind of cunt who gets Lohan lookin’ slutty and a slutty Lohan is the Lohan I want to marry. Herpes and All…I am not just saying that Lohan has herpes to be a funny celebrity blogger, I am saying it because I overheard a Paris Hilton coversation one night when a friend of mine called her, outting Lohan for not telling people she has herpes. I wrote about it, but since no one reads the site, I guess no one noticed. Assholes.

Bonus – Some Old Nipple Slip

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Picture Via DListed’s Friend (the best celebrity blog according to me)

Here are some pics of Lohan’s cunt sent in by a reader. She is partying at a place called Plumand I don’t know where that is but I am glad she’s being all poetic on us as she shows the world her pantyhose covered plum at Plum…even if some of you think it’s more of a piece of dried up shit than a freshly picked fruit, just because half of hollywood’s had a bite of it….

Either way, I am a fan of girls who don’t hid their junk with panties, it’s so fucking conventional, but maybe I am biased as I have made it pretty clear that I am a fan of Lohan and everything that she does. I totally support her insanity because it makes her more interesting. If I had a decent sized bank account I’d be drinking and snorting it all away too, because I see fun as an investment, but that’s not the point that point is that Lohan still keeps getting work and whenever I went on drunken binges I’d always lose my jobs because the drink became more important than the daily routine of hell that was a job. So reality is she’s got it all pretty much together.

I was walking around the other day drinking a beer out of a plastic bag at around 3 in the morning and walked by some slut who had been overserved. She was probably 16 years old and was surrounded by cops and one of her friends was holding her head up. She was covered in puke and had pissed herself, when she was lifted up I saw that she had shit herself, all bitch had to do was get her fucking period and we’d be in every bodily excrement business. Even under those circumstances, I am pretty convinced would wouldn’t have been able to convince her to let you fuck her and she was half fucking dead, I don’t know what’s worse, you fucking a shit covered bitch or a shit covered bitch being so fucked up, but not too fucked up to know you’re a creep…

Point of all these words was to say that everyday people get sloppier when they are drunk than Lohan flashing the world a little cunt and that’s the end of this post.

A Little Color Corrected…For You Perverts…

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Picture Via DListed’s Friend (the best celebrity blog according to me)

Here are some pics of Lohan’s cunt sent in by a reader. She is partying at a place called Plumand I don’t know where that is but I am glad she’s being all poetic on us as she shows the world her pantyhose covered plum at Plum…even if some of you think it’s more of a piece of dried up shit than a freshly picked fruit, just because half of hollywood’s had a bite of it….

Either way, I am a fan of girls who don’t hid their junk with panties, it’s so fucking conventional, but maybe I am biased as I have made it pretty clear that I am a fan of Lohan and everything that she does. I totally support her insanity because it makes her more interesting. If I had a decent sized bank account I’d be drinking and snorting it all away too, because I see fun as an investment, but that’s not the point that point is that Lohan still keeps getting work and whenever I went on drunken binges I’d always lose my jobs because the drink became more important than the daily routine of hell that was a job. So reality is she’s got it all pretty much together.

I was walking around the other day drinking a beer out of a plastic bag at around 3 in the morning and walked by some slut who had been overserved. She was probably 16 years old and was surrounded by cops and one of her friends was holding her head up. She was covered in puke and had pissed herself, when she was lifted up I saw that she had shit herself, all bitch had to do was get her fucking period and we’d be in every bodily excrement business. Even under those circumstances, I am pretty convinced would wouldn’t have been able to convince her to let you fuck her and she was half fucking dead, I don’t know what’s worse, you fucking a shit covered bitch or a shit covered bitch being so fucked up, but not too fucked up to know you’re a creep…

Point of all these words was to say that everyday people get sloppier when they are drunk than Lohan flashing the world a little cunt and that’s the end of this post.

A Little Color Corrected…For You Perverts…

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Starting to write after spending the last 3 days drunk and away from the computer is always a pain in the fucking ass. It’s probably not as bad as your shitty life but I still feel like I have to come to this site and post useless shit, even when I don’t have to. I guess it’s OCD, but I like to think of it as a distraction from all the other shit in life that sucks…Like trying to keep track of Lohan’s drug use.

The story is that the top picture here shows white powder near her ear, because everyone knows that addicts like to huff the bag using their fucking ear. Reality is that I could care less what her fucking vice is. She’s not a real role model to kids anymore, she’s not advertising that she’s got herpes and takes it up the ass for cocaine and we’re all allowed to have our own fucking lives. There was a time that I worked as a Santa at the mall during the christmas season and I’d come home and drink with whores and do dirty fucking things but when I’d show up at the job the next day, I was fucking Santa Claus to the kids and didn’t advertise that I got a girl pregnant in her ass the night before….

The real interesting thing in these pics is that Lohan’s got no pants on and a Girl with no pants is a girl for me, even if her leotard dress/shorts thing makes her look like she’s 6 months old and learning to crawl, cuz it’s that whole “she’s already in the right position” analogy…

I don’t really know where I am going with this, just look at the pics and pretend I am not here.

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Starting to write after spending the last 3 days drunk and away from the computer is always a pain in the fucking ass. It’s probably not as bad as your shitty life but I still feel like I have to come to this site and post useless shit, even when I don’t have to. I guess it’s OCD, but I like to think of it as a distraction from all the other shit in life that sucks…Like trying to keep track of Lohan’s drug use.

The story is that the top picture here shows white powder near her ear, because everyone knows that addicts like to huff the bag using their fucking ear. Reality is that I could care less what her fucking vice is. She’s not a real role model to kids anymore, she’s not advertising that she’s got herpes and takes it up the ass for cocaine and we’re all allowed to have our own fucking lives. There was a time that I worked as a Santa at the mall during the christmas season and I’d come home and drink with whores and do dirty fucking things but when I’d show up at the job the next day, I was fucking Santa Claus to the kids and didn’t advertise that I got a girl pregnant in her ass the night before….

The real interesting thing in these pics is that Lohan’s got no pants on and a Girl with no pants is a girl for me, even if her leotard dress/shorts thing makes her look like she’s 6 months old and learning to crawl, cuz it’s that whole “she’s already in the right position” analogy…

I don’t really know where I am going with this, just look at the pics and pretend I am not here.

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Lohan is fatter than ever because Lohan has replaced drinking and drugs with coffee and donuts. She is living an American white trash dream, she just needs to throw some soap operas, a trailer and a husband that beats her and this classy slag will be you.

The only reason this picture makes me sick to my stomach is that the first 2 years of my marriage, I’d watch my wife eat a donut a day and anytime I did something I shouldn’t have done, like drink all night, or expose myself to teenage girls on the bus, or have sex with a hooker after a 3 day meth binge forgetting to call home and tell the family where I was, I’d just come home with a couple dozen donuts and bitch would eat that shit up and be too jacked on sugar and fried dough to give me shit for being me….

I can’t dis Lohan for being Lohan, we’re connected at the soul and I am still expecting a callback from all the messages I’ve sent her over the last 6 months. I still have hope.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, I used to call Lohan and leave voicemail messages hoping she’d issue a restraining order so that I’d end up on Access Hollywood. You can see some of the by Clicking This Link

I just did a total blogger move, and I feel like a useless virgin who never leaves his house for fear of people knowing I am a virgin….yes…I feel like you…CUDDLES.

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So it’s just my luck where I transfer over to a new server less than a week ago and they decide to shut down shop and go bankrupt on my ass after paying them pretty much all the money I had access too from returning beer bottles and stealing my wife’s credit card. I am one of those guys that everything I touch turns to shit, except actual shit because that is already shit.

Speaking of shit, here are some pictures of Lohan to start up the new day provided the server ever starts working again, with her new hair that is the same color as my shit, but only because I have liver failure and my shit is always yellow, not that you want to hear about my shit…

Reality is, Lohan and her mother probably both have liver disease too, which makes them like an extended internet family who don’t know I exist. Either way, Lohan could be wearing a helmet filled with homeless man shit found in random bus shelters for hair and I’d still want her herpes ridden box, but that’s only because I am into scat, have no standards and I am sure I could convince Lohan to shit on my face…she’s just that kind of girl. My kind of girl….

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Look Lohan is Partying at LAX with a bunch of useless fucking hipsters on drugs last night (sunday night). DJ AM is there, so it must be a pretty fucking amazing party, and by amazing I mean gay pride event because dude is gayer than bicycle shorts. I’d still stalk Lohan if the slut played along with it a bit, like call the cops on me or file for a restraining order or anything that gets me on Access Hollywood. That fucking Cunt…

For More Pictures from the Party Go

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