Milf Archives - Page 17 of 17 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

10

Jul

Elle Macpherson in her Party Dress of the Day

Elle Macpherson, like the expired milk in my fridge, is no longer in her prime. She doesn’t look or taste her best but when it really comes down to it, I’d still put her on my ceral and ignore them clumpy sour lumps, because you can’t eat cereal dry. If you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because this post is on some next level “written in code” shit, or at least it seems like it is, when in reality, I’m just an idiot, an idiot who still has a love for Elle Macpherson and if I am still alive when bitch is being pushed in a wheel chair and shitting herself at the old folks home, will still have a love for Elle Macpherson because she single handedly introduced me to SI Swimsuit Edition with her nipples in a time before porn and that kind of shit doesn’t get forgotten….

Posted in:Cocktail Dress|Elle Macpherson|Milf

2009

05

Mar

A Couple Retired Supermodels Making Out With Each Other of the Day

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Sure these aren’t pictures of Elle Macpherson and Claudia Schiffer actually making out with each other, but they should be, despite Katy Perry ruining my interest in girl on girl action so that every time I see any girl on girl action her Kissed a Girl garbage plays on repeat in my head, because I’d still be down to see it, since I grew up on these girls and 10 years too late is better than never…

I don’t know where these pictures were taken, but it seems like these ladies are doing everyday mom stuff, so I can only assume it’s some private island they drop ex models off at, you know so the public doesn’t get a tarnished vision of the perfection they once had, you know as they age and rot away into disgusting, it’s pretty much the same logic as to why you don’t want an open casket at your funeral, but I think that’s just overkill, let these whores into the general public, they’ve already had it too fuckin’ easy, let us use the private islands for for homeless people and people with Aids and homosexuals, you know to clean up our streets and make the world a better place.

Here are those pics.

Posted in:Claudia Schiffer|Elle Macpherson|Milf|Mom|Supermodels

2008

20

Mar

Some Christina Aguilera Isn’t Pregnant Anymore Pictures of the Day

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Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Milf|Pregnant|Tits

2007

10

Oct

I am – Cindy Crawford is Still a Super Model of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Cindy Crawford talking on a cellphone at some toy store she brought her kids to, because when you are rich and you have kids, showering them with things they don’t need is what you’ve gotta do. I am guessing they are probably her life because she’s really got nothing else going for her, I haven’t seen her cast on Dancing with the Stars or any Celebrity Big Brother shit, so I can safely assume that her kids are her purpose. The reason I am posting these pictures is because I thought it was funny that she pulled her phone away to strike a pose for the paparazzi like she’s still a fuckin’ supermodel, I guess it’s hard to grasp that your getting older and trying to prove that you’ve still got what it takes makes you feel better about things. I once knew am old dude, I’m talking in his 70s who used to be into boxing when he was a kid and was some kind of champion, every time dude got drunk he’d lapse into that boxing tough guy mentality and pick fights with young college kids to prove he still had it and every single time he’d end up getting his fucking ass kicked….but just kept on doing it. I guess you gotta respect that kind of spirit, it’s a lot more inspiring than you being too scared to get a job because your mom’s going to ask you to move out of her house because you like that she always cooks you dinner, there’s always food in the fridge, your laundry always gets done and bed always gets made. If only chicks found that as appealing as your man-pussy ass. Yeah I know the whole living with your mom virgin thing is getting repetitive, but I am telling you it never gets old for me….

Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford’s Got Hot Mom Tits
Cindy Crawford on the Beach
Cindy Crawford’s Bondage Hat
Cindy Crawford Pickin’ her Nose

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Ex-Model|Milf|Posing|Unsorted

2007

30

Aug

I am – Jennifer Garner’s Orgasm Face of the Day

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So may token gay blogger looks like he is going to be a fixture and I hope you all enjoy it because that’s the whole reason he is here. I am all about helping you come to terms with your underlying homosexuality, while giving the homos on the site a man to fantasize about. I am trying to make myself famous and this is the best way.

The only set-back is that Julien isn’t an inflated, blue haired faggot that looks like a circus clown who got lost and ate all the elephant feed, but maybe the internet will move from having disgusting looking idols to just having disgusting sexual deviant idols. Only time will tell and here’s his post for the day….Cocksuckers….

I have been going on gay chat sites for a quite a while. Itâ€™s a really great place to meet â€œstraightâ€? guys who want to suck to dick but who are too afraid to go the gay bars. I prefer these kind of guys because they are all about the sex and are not looking to spoon afterwards.

So I was talking to this guy and he decided to send me a few of his pics. One of them was his â€œO faceâ€? (or â€œorgasm faceâ€?) and it was horrifying. His eye was all squinty and he was doing this thing with his mouth and it made him look like a retarded rabbit. He must of thought it was sexy but it really wasnâ€™t. He might as well have sent me a picture of his last bowl movement.

Here is a picture of Jennifer Garner making what looks to me like her O face. Now she doesnâ€™t look as bad as my guy did, but she still looks a little downsy. But just because it doesnâ€™t work for me doesnâ€™t mean some desperate straight guy (you) isnâ€™t going to print this out, put it on his pillow and then fuck a plastic pussy pretending that he is making Jennifer Garner cum. Well, Iâ€™m all about fantasies but believe me even if by some magical turn of events, Ben Affleck died and you managed to fuck Ms. Garner, there is no way you would make her cum.

Smooch!
Julien

Related Posts:

Jennifer Garner Paddle Surfs in Bikini Bottoms
Mom’s in Thongs
J Lo’s Fat Ass of the Day (since Afleck Fucked Her)
Christina Aguilera’s Orgasm Face

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2007

30

Aug

I am – Jennifer Garner's Orgasm Face of the Day

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So may token gay blogger looks like he is going to be a fixture and I hope you all enjoy it because that’s the whole reason he is here. I am all about helping you come to terms with your underlying homosexuality, while giving the homos on the site a man to fantasize about. I am trying to make myself famous and this is the best way.

The only set-back is that Julien isn’t an inflated, blue haired faggot that looks like a circus clown who got lost and ate all the elephant feed, but maybe the internet will move from having disgusting looking idols to just having disgusting sexual deviant idols. Only time will tell and here’s his post for the day….Cocksuckers….

I have been going on gay chat sites for a quite a while. It’s a really great place to meet “straight” guys who want to suck to dick but who are too afraid to go the gay bars. I prefer these kind of guys because they are all about the sex and are not looking to spoon afterwards.

So I was talking to this guy and he decided to send me a few of his pics. One of them was his “O face” (or “orgasm face”) and it was horrifying. His eye was all squinty and he was doing this thing with his mouth and it made him look like a retarded rabbit. He must of thought it was sexy but it really wasn’t. He might as well have sent me a picture of his last bowl movement.

Here is a picture of Jennifer Garner making what looks to me like her O face. Now she doesn’t look as bad as my guy did, but she still looks a little downsy. But just because it doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean some desperate straight guy (you) isn’t going to print this out, put it on his pillow and then fuck a plastic pussy pretending that he is making Jennifer Garner cum. Well, I’m all about fantasies but believe me even if by some magical turn of events, Ben Affleck died and you managed to fuck Ms. Garner, there is no way you would make her cum.

Smooch!
Julien

Related Posts:

Jennifer Garner Paddle Surfs in Bikini Bottoms
Mom’s in Thongs
J Lo’s Fat Ass of the Day (since Afleck Fucked Her)
Christina Aguilera’s Orgasm Face

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2007

30

Aug

I am – Karen Mulder Bikini on a Boat Pictures of the Day

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Karen Mulder is some model who was big at some point in her career and tried to kill herself in 2002 by taking pills like she was Owen Wilson. IN 2006 she had a kid and I am reading wikipedia right now…..

Speaking of suicide and kids, I am always fascinated when a guy tells me he has a kid, it means that some girl liked him enough to keep his baby and I just can’t seem to grasp that concept, because girls never even liked me enough to have sex with me when sober, return my calls when, admit they ever banged me, or talk to me if they ever ran into me on the street.

Either way, I landed my wife because she was really fucking lonely and even she wouldn’t have had another kid to keep me around so I am pretty much this dude who will never have a kid because no girl would carry my baby and I will always remain fascinated with guys who tell me that a woman either wants their kid or has their kid, because it means they are doing something I am not and that they are by far more a man than I’ll ever be. I have low self-esteem but the only because after years of the same message being driven down my throat you realize that you suck at something, in my case life. I think it makes for good comedy.

At least better comedy than your depressing life… living the suburban life, with the suburban middle management job you hate, going home to your boring wife who is 35 pounds heavier than when you first met, and ugly kids… making your monthly payments on your house and car…over-extending yourself because you want to take the family to Disneyland, or because your kid’s in private school because you want a better life for him and you need to buy him designer clothes so he doesn’t feel inadequate amongst his peers…Or you’re living at home with your mom, unable to find a job, jerking off more than ever, spending your time online trying to find pussy but even the girls you pay to go on cam won’t show you their cunts…forcing your to carve a vagina into your bedpost, the same bed you slept on when you were ten, because that’s the only thing that would fuck you…….I guess there’s a lot funny about that..

Here are some pictures of Karen Mulder, the bitch who failed at killing herself because she takes life and herself too fucking seriously, while on a boat tanning in St Tropez because life is so hard on her….don’t take yourself too seriously, have fun with your shortcomings because if you can’t laugh about shit you end up being miserable, and there’s nothing fun about crying, now is there, pussy. I am pretty inspirational. I am like a modern day Batman…

Related Posts:

Anne Hathaway Bikini on a Yacht
Adriana Volpe Topless of the Day
Rebecca Gayheart Topless on a Yacht
Abigail Clancy Topless on a Yacht

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2007

22

Aug

I am – Lorie Louhglin is a Soccer Mom Prude of the Day

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My best friend Anna is going through a hard time right now because her parents are getting divorced. Personally I saw it coming. Her father is one of those forty year old good looking men like George Clooney who is a musician, loads of fun and likes to party while her mom on the other hand is a boring housewife who works some average professional job and has a body shaped like a pear. Iâ€™m guessing when he met her she was young, hot and easy, and now has slipped into the marriage trap of dinner parties with friends and no sex.

So the natural course of events took place and one day when the wife was supposed to be out, he had a â€˜lady friendâ€™ come over. He was fucking the shit out of her in the kitchen, with her bent over their island in the middle of the room, and him getting her from behind. What he didnâ€™t know was his wife walked in through the back entrance and was standing behind them for about five minutes, while he pounded away at the whore. They only realized when they went to change positions and when the chick sat up on the counter to take it from the front, she screamed.

Now, if this were the porn movies you hide under you bed so your Mom doesnâ€™t find them, this is part where the wife and the whore would start making out with each other and rubbing their tits on one another, and then simultaneously go down on the guy and would turn into a full on threesome. But itâ€™s not, and it didnâ€™t and instead the story ends with the whore running out of the house naked to her waiting driver and the husband getting hit over the head with a frying pan. Needless to say, they filed for divorce shortly there after and a pimp paid a visit to their house that night to collect for the money that was still due, regardless of the circumstances.

Hereâ€™s Lorie Loughlin. She played Uncle Jessieâ€™s boring wife Rebecca in Full House (that shitty show the Olsen Twins were on) Rebecca kind of reminds me of my friends Mom, not because they look alike, but because like my friends Mom, boring old Rebecca never would have rubbed her tits on anyone, probably never fucked Uncle Jessie, and would have eventually walked in on him banging a whore in that nice kitchen of theirs, had the show not been cancelled first. Now THAT would have made for a series finale.

She looks hot in these pics tho, so you can fantasize that she is instead a bi-sexual minx waiting to please you in every way you wish, and that you arenâ€™t in fact a loser virgin living in your Momâ€™s basement.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Related Posts:
Cindy Crawford is a Hot Milf
Olsen Twins See Through Shirt
Jodie Sweetin Big Ol’ Meth Titties
Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt

Posted in:Lorie Loughlin|Milf|Prude|Unsorted

2007

19

Jul

I am – Cindy Crawford Being a Hott MILF of the Day

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Cindy Crawford

I got an email from one of the 5 people who read this site occaisionally saying we give way to much exposure to the young, trashy Hollywood cunts, and that we need to post more MILFâ€™s, so hereâ€™s some Cindy Crawford action which I hope is okay because she A) is a mom and B) you (probably) want to fuck her. If Iâ€™m wrong just cut me a bit of slack, because Iâ€™m an 18 year old girl who thinks more about my eating disorder then fucking older chicks, you know? That may change when I got to college next year and start â€œexperimentingâ€?, but more on that later…

I knew this girl Angie, a girl a lot older then me, who was the biggest slut I have ever and probably will ever meet. Every dude that hung out with her had run with her and from what I understand she used abortion as her form of birth control, and I mean Iâ€™m not anti abortion, but like fuck, come on. She had a Mom who everyone used to fuck as well, and the whole thing was really bizarre to me, cause I was like 15. Thing was, she wasnâ€™t like a hot mom either, you know? More like white trash alcoholic welfare Mom.

Anyways, the whole joke this during time was that no one would ever go down on the mother, and that no one wanted to â€œeat the big black holeâ€?, cause you know apparently she didnâ€™t keep her bits to clean, if you know what I mean, and the smell wasn’t too pleasent. None of them seemed to have a problem fucking her tho, which never made any sense to me, but there you have it. Anyways, somehow it got out that this dirtbag who hung around us name Paul had, in fact, done just that. The gossip spread like wild fire, and before you could say Vagisil, everyone was ragging home about it. The climax came when someone spraypainted PAUL ATE THE BIG BLACK HOLE on the side of our gymnasium. I think he moved shortly after that.

Hereâ€™s some pics of Cindy Crawford. I bet her Vagina smells like flowers.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez