Natalie Portman brought her mom body out in a bikini and I know what you are thinking, women are disgusting as fuck after giving birth, especially in their panties, from all the pushing and prodding and passing of a creepy living thing out of their glorious vaginas, while ravaging not only gentials, but stomach….making a girl never quite the same….even if she tries to bounce back….because she comes with annoying as fuck baggage and no matter how many kegels she does…that shit just doesn’t disappear…..but what does disappear is the boner of their husbands as they move onto younger more fertile versions of the woman they married who has become a shell of her former self….a shell that in Natalie Portman’s case has a lot of money to finance a lot of fun….that makes her shitty mom body almost respectable….especially to her fan base that are geeks and star wars nerds who love her even when she was an action figure they’ve shoved up their ass….while jerking off….true story….

But I think she looks lovely….because I see beauty in everything….especially procreation. It is god’s plan for us.

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You know what ruins a bitch…pregnancy…

There is just nothing hot, except maybe the breast feeding in public, the open-mindedness to wearing tight pants to the gym to kill the pregnancy weight, the fact that their miserable decision will lead to straying from the dream they thought they were living before realizing it was hell…..about motherhood.

Here is Natalie Portman a favorite to jewish guys and nerds alike cuz she once brought hope but now brings disappointment….

Posted in:Natalie Portman

I have met Natalie Portman fans and they are really fucking weird, collectors who prefer to be called loyal, often times they are Jewish, because she is Jewish, from Israel, her real name is “HERSHLAG” which sounds like code for a slumpy vagina….. Good looking, so held in high esteem in the community of guys who constantly date non jewish girls, until they decide to marry and start a family having no choice but to marry a Jewish girl….leaving her the beacon of hope that one day they’ll get a Herschlag of their own…..

Often times….they are also virgin, sci-fi, star wars types who haven’t left their basement computer rooms since black swan was released and she tainted herself with not that AIDS CULKIN FUCKER MILA KUNIS…also a jewish girl who is a beacon of hope to Jewish guys everywhere, when they forget about the whole AIDS sex with Culkin…..but also with a kid that raped her uterus….

So these are some pics of her post-baby body walking in jeans….for those who still care about her….which I assume is every single one of her fans cuz they have a hard time letting go of things…it’s part of their ASPERGERS…..

Posted in:Natalie Portman

Here are some pictures of Natalie Portman and her gay Ballerina husband / baby daddy who got her pregnant, because like all the gay dudes I know, knows that being a Ballerina doesn’t pay the bills, unless working the stripclub, and that if it means sticking it to gay friendly celebrity pussy in a way that makes it stick, the good life is ahead of him…all luxury apartment, designer clothes and the good life, where he can sneak gay sex behind her back while she saves face to the media….I mean her pussy is likely better than that anal wart filled anus he encountered one night at a gay sauna on too many poppers….I mean assuming all Ballerina’s are gay obviously….

They are jogging off the baby fat, cuz no one likes fat chicks, especiallly in Hollywood, except the director of Precious, or maybe Roseanne, Rosie and Oprah…. but you get what I’m saying and that is that these pics would be hotter if it was more naked and more of a sex scene…that’s the element of relationships I like best.

Posted in:Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman went topless for Miss Dior because they paid her and apparently went bottomless for whoever the fuck the guy who strategically knocked her up when he was up inside her was…a man you probably know well because you are likely one of those virgin losers who is obsessed with Natalie Portman, possibly cuz you are jewish and have pressure to marry jewish to have jewish babies, or just because she was in Star Wars, a movie you like to channel in your everyday masturbation sessions and really – this is not all that hot – unless you get off to back, which you probably do, just because it is attached to this Portman pre-marital sex before a shotgun wedding like a redneck slut….

Posted in:Natalie Portman

The only thing I really like about Natalie Portman is that her name is actually Natalie Herschlag.

I never found her all that hot. If anything I thought she was overrated and boring. I mean what celeb quits for four years to get a college education like some kind of normal person when they should be flashing cunt to the paparazzi…..

I just assumed all the boring nerdy Star Wars kids made up her fanbase and got her work. Then I realized Jewish guys were also in on it, cuz they were happy to see a hot Jewish girl they could imagine themselves getting married to without causing issues about converting with their mothers. But it turns out that non-Jews and non-nerds want to fuck her too….it’s got something to do with her having a vagina….

And here is a video of her stripping of New York Times Magazine…since I love strippers….it kinda works for me..and when I say kinda, I mean not at all….if there’s no spread pussy then it’s not fucking stripping…but who cares what I think….

Enjoy.

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I know all the virgin loser sci fi club people love Natalie Portman, mainly because I used to hang out with a dude I worked with who collected pretty much everything including Star Wars toys obsessively, and he would always talk about the bitch….and her perfection…he was Jewish and maybe he was just happy that she was too…and that she didn’t look like his Aunt Herschel or some shit….but I never really saw her appeal….while this guy was sitting their awkwardly coverin his Aspergers boner during one of her movies he made me watch…I could see a love I never felt for a girl he never met come over him…it was fucking weird….and all these years later…virgin losers everywhere are still hung up on this bitch…so her ass in a thong is probably a huge deal to them….

I’m pretty much down for any pussy equally and I never get excited about anything, I just think the funniest thing about Natalie Portman is her last name isn’t actually Portman but is Hershlag which is approproate cuz it is the sound all the asthmatics who love her make when they cum to her picture the have framed next to their bed, just a disgusting fucking sound….

Scroll to the 1:28 Mark to see her ass in the Your Highness Red Band Bullshit….