Pregnant Archives - Page 2 of 8 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Pregnant Category

2009

Sep

Very Pregnant Heidi Klum Nipple of the Day

Heidi Klum and Seal are serious fucking breeders. I’ve heard about couples wanting to have a kid or two, but she seems to be constantly pregnant and lookin at the size of her now really scares me, not only because I can’t stand the idea of a baby growing inside another person like some kind of virus or STD, like the girl who makes me sandwiches who told me she had to take the day off to get pre-cancerous cells burned off her cervix because she had sex with dirty people in her youth and had HPV making me want to fuck my sandwich instead of eating it cuz it was just that fucking hot, only in Heidi Klum’s case shit does a lot more damage to her pussy…not that Seal hasn’t already done an amazing job massacring that thing, I mean she’s definitely not married to him because of his boyish good looks, since he looks like something out of a horror movie, which may be something German’s like since they are a sick breed of jew killing monsters, she’s married to him because of his massive dick.

Here are pics of her hard nipples and her massive belly that I am pretty sure she will bounce back from….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Gisele is Pregnant of the Day

1 Comment »

I guess these pictures prove that all those theories of this hard faced supermodel actually being a dude wrong. I would like to defend my stance for a minute, because I am one of the many who said that shit on the regular, because I was trying to fit in. The truth is that she was from Brazil and I know people who have gone down to Brazil and who claim the trannies are substantially better lookin’ than the regular women, leaving a whole lot of mystery and a whole lot of posibility, but logically, I knew that if she was actually born a dude, Victoria’s Secret would have dealt with that after kidnapping her and bringing her to America, you know with some bootleg surgery, but logically, why would they bother when they could just kidnap an actual girl from the third world who they don’t have to waste all that time, energy, money and recovery time on just to give her ladyparts.

All this to say, that I obviously knew Gisele wasn’t a dude, I actually found her hot at least once 10 years ago, but the dude angle made for easy jokes, but now I’m left with nothing but the hope that this is just some movie-magic like Lohan’s Labor Pains, or Schwartzneger’s Junior. You know fake pregnancy prosthtic to keep the lie alive, cuz until I see the birthing video, she’s got Balls to me…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Kourtney Kardashian and Her Pregnant Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

Here’s more proof that the Kardashian’s are breeding like the rodents they fuckin’ are, as a pregnant Kourtney Kardashian walks around showing off her fatty pregnant tits.

I can’t even imagine what kind of cunt this family is going to produce. From Auntie Kim showing the fuckin’ thing how to make a quick buck sucking dick on camera, to Auntie Khloe and Mommy Kourtney showering the fucking thing in all the baby Ed Hardy the little fucker could ever dream of, because you know, kids this cheesy are born crying for over priced, loud, obnoxious t-shirts that will help them fit in with the Vegas crowd by the pool, it’s part of their cheesy genetic code.

Someone should put an end to this before the devil unleashes another one of its monsters into the world…and by her fat uterus, it looks like it’s coming soon…

Pics via INFpoto

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|Pregnant|Tits

2009

Sep

Halle Berry and Her Pregnancy Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Halle Berry is pregnant. I don’t know who really cares about that kind of news considering she was already pregnant, is already a mom and the damage is already done, meaning her birth canal has been ravaged, her sex appeal has been retired and her career has slowed the fuck down because of it, not that I still wouldn’t do all the things I’ve been planning to do to her the last decade, I’m just saying that these pictures of her are boring, her pregnancy is boring and this post is boring. I’m just keeping shit consistent.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Halle Berry|Pregnant|Tits

2009

Sep

Pregnant Penelope Cruz Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Another one bites the dust….RIP Penelope Cruz’s sex appeal cuz bitch is reportedly knocked the fuck up. It happens to the best of them, I mean she’s just being a woman. We can’t really hate her, especailly when her nose was so fucking big, it was almost hard to love her, so if anything it all makes sense.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Girls Next Door do Kendra Wilkinson’s Baby Shower of the Day

4 Comments »

I hate this Girl’s Next Door bullshit 3-way relationship Hef hustles. It annoys me that these whores are even known for more than just appearing in Playboy one issue. It is a fake love affair where he gets bitches are on payroll to pretend prostitute themselves to him to generate buzz , and if this lie was real, Hef and these bitches would be in fuckin’ jail.

It is fantasy designed to sell the Playboy brand. That’s why 3 girls agree to live together and pretend to date the same 80 year old, thinking it will advance their career while the pay is better than working the diner back home, and when they are built up, Hef replaces them for fresh pussy he wants to make money off of, while giving them all spinoff careers that he makes money off of, keeping the wheels on the machine in motion.

Either way, Kendra is pregnant, her fake tits are fatter than they once were, her fear of being able to breast feed a baby without poisoning it probably haven’t set in yet, and her fake friends threw her a fake babyshower, I am sure all paid for by Playboy….

Read some serious bullshit about the event like it’s actual fucking news, when really it is just some glorified press release for Playboy….

September 9th, 2009. Former Girls Next Door star Bridget Marquart throws a “surprise” baby shower for Kendra Wilkinson at Hugh Hefner’s personal assistant, Mary O’Connorís house. Earlier in the day Playboy Playmates and Hefner’s current girlfriends, Kristina Shannon, Karissa Shannon, and Crystal Harris were seen picking up balloons and gifts for the party in a chauffer driven limo.

Prior to the party former Girl Next Door star, Holly Madison, was seen taking out the trash, eating a pickle, and receiving pizza delivery for the party, “I got kicked out of the mansion, so I had to get a second job delivering pizza”she joked with a photographer. Numerous other women attended the party including Kendraís mother Patti and her Grandmother.

Making a fashionably late entrance, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner arrived at the party in his chauffer driven limo with the vanity plate “1 HEF.” Hefner gathered his three girlfriends and left teh party after staying a little more than 30 minutes. Insiders reported that an altercation between Hefner’s new girlfriends and other women at the party had occurred.

What baby shower would not be complete without a homosexual male dressed in a baby outfit. A man identified as Jonny Makeup arrived to the party dressed in a baby costume telling the photographers, “Kendra is going to change her first diaper”.

Partygoers dined on delivered Pizza Hut brand Pizza, Carmela Louise Catering, and Sunday Scoops Ice Cream compliments of Dandy Donís Homemade Ice Cream. Kendra and Bridget Marquart, both dressed in baby blue, gave each other a hug goodbye as they walked to their cars at the partys conclusion. Holly Madison and Jonny Makeup made an encore exit when Holly picked up Jonny and they both fell to the ground crashing into a row of trash bins. Right before Kandra departed she stood next to her car and started posing with a large mason jar filled with pickles.

The entire event was filmed by a Playboy camera crew.

Posin’ with pickles, fags dressed in diapers, and …The entire event was filmed by a Playboy camera crew. Fuck yourself Kendra, I hope you have a still birth….cuz no baby deserves a whore of a mother and it’s too late for abortions or miscarriages…..

Pics Via PacificCoastNews

2009

Sep

Kourtney Kardashian and Her Pregnancy on the Beach of the Day

7 Comments »

You know what the Kardashians need, another Kardashian to add to their pack and really convince the world that they are an actual rat infestation and not just pretending to be one. You know a group of rodents who have come to pollute and annoy our fuckin’ lives because as they stand now, there are only four of them and sure that is enough disgusting to really annoy a mother fucker, especially when you can’t poison or trap them, but it is not quite enough to make a motherfucker go completely crazy, they kind of just teeter back and forth on the cusp of a motherfucker’s sanity, but luckily Kourtney has taken it upon herself to change that by getting knocked the fuckup by a white dude, something as the third “K” in the family she had to do because she completely her dad’s plan of being the “KKK” girls and as the KKK you kinda need to avoid dick that isn’t your own, or some shit and here she is sitting in the bikini bottoms she shoulda left on the night this asshole knocked her up.

Pictures via Mavrix

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Camila Alves in Some Pregnancy Bikini Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Here name is Camila Alves and you know her as the immigrant model who Matthew McConaughey fucks and knocks up on the regular basis from another country but I like to think I know her as the hairy little troll I wanted to fuck before she got knocked up on the regular and gave up on her man-scaping, not that she’s built like a man, she’s just hairy like one and despite hairy bitches being disgusting, their testosterone levels are where you want them to be when it comes to sex drive, cuz those bitches high on estrogen just never wanna fuck, they are too busy crying about everything….where a testosterone bitch is too busy taking it from every angle….and in Camila Alves case, her chronically swollen uterus is the proof!!

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Camila Alves|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Camila Alves’ Hairy Stomach is Pregnant and in a Bikini of the Day

13 Comments »

Pregnant with Matthew McConaughey’s second baby that he knows about, Brazilian Camila Alves showed off her hairy swollen uterus. Maybe it has to do with her hormones being all out of wack since she’s got something growing inside of her, but I’m pretty sure it’s got more to do with her latin roots cuz those bitches tend to be hairy as fuck, which always amazes me because I’ve got latin roots but for some reason have a patchy beard that reminds me of a 13 year old french kid. Maybe that means that I’m more woman than I like to admit, depsite being forced to admit it everytime I take a piss and realize I’m squirting out of nothing more than a pathetic little clit, but that’s not the point, the point is that I’d definitely fuck this bitch well into her third trimester without a condom, just because I know she can’t get pregnant with my kid if she’s already pregnant, it’s real simple biology.

Bonus – Matthew McConaughey’s mom was also sluttin’ out on the beach with her Texan granny ass….

Pics via INF

Posted in:Bikini|Camila Alves|Pregnant

2009

Aug

Kourtney Kardashian Getting Fat With Her White K-Fed Named Scott Disick of the Day

12 Comments »

I heard Kourtney Kardashian was pregenant last week and didn’t really give a shit. I figure eventually all these cunts I hate are going to breed, so they might as well do it now than later, but when I saw these pictures of her and the baby daddy, I was surprised, not because she’s eating ice cream, since that is a genetic disorder her and her sisters fight everyday, but luckily with pregnancy comes the license to eat as much as she fucking wants to, never ever bouncing back to what she once was, but that’s what pregnancy is famous for, while we’re still trying to figure out why Kourtney Kardashian is famous for, but I was surprised mainly because the baby daddy isn’t black, as I thought these girls only fucked black dudes….

I decided to google Scott Disick because I really have nothing better to do with my time and figured no one out there would waste their time on doin the shit themeselves, because people don’t really care about no names and I found out some funny shit….

FIrst, Scott grey up in a wealthy home and went to private schools, but his parents went broke and he is being known as a womanizer, basically trying to sleep his way to the lifestyle he wants, and leaving his sperm in the best uterus that comes along to be set for life, a modern day K-Fed who we should celebrate, unfortunately for him tho, he didn’t quite bag a Britney and pobably has to listen to a whole lot more whining and bitching and bratty, high maintenance shit cuz that’s just what these trashy Kardashian’s are….he really shoulda just used her as a stepping stone to meet someone more famous….

Either way, here is Kourtney letting loose with her using man and the whole thing is funny to me…..especially when I look at his shoes, then his Clark Kent hair and his smug look on his face like he’s totally got this all worked out and won the game of life…while his girl gets fatter and fatter by the bite….amazing….

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|Pregnant|Scott Disick