I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Pregnant Category

2009

12

May

They Say Lindsay Lohan is Pregnant of the Day

7 Comments »

They say Lindsay Lohan is 7 weeks pregnant and doesn’t know the father. I say, she finally got that cup of sperm I mailed her as a gift after hearing about the break-up and artificially inseminated herself and that’s why she’s doesn’t know who the father is because we haven’t met.

Despite strongly believing in ABORTING THE MISSION, I am willing to be a father to this single mother household. I guess I just asked Lohan to marry me. I can’t wait to hear from her people with their answer.

The truth is that I don’t believe she is pregnant and if she is it is some immaculate conception, Jesus Christ shit, because last time I checked, eating pussy doesn’t get you knocked the fuck up. So I guess that makes her some holy figure that the rest of you can start praying to, and I’ll jusy say “I told you so” because I’ve always known she was an angel.

I guess the real truth is that no one really knows what the truth is because celebrity is just a series of lies and cover-ups so I’m just posting this because I find the whole thing entertaining enough while sitting on my couch staring out the window at my Asian neighbor hanging her laundry to dry fantasizing about taking off those oversized panties she just hung up, with my teeth. My life is very simple….

Here is Lohan showing off her “baby bump” and by that I mean her hip bones and skinny goodness…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Pregnant

2009

03

Apr

Some Pregnant Kate Moss Nipples of the Day

3 Comments »

I am pretty hungover, something I assume Kate Moss can relate to, you know since she’s a substance abuser. I reported that she was pregnant yesterday, I mean if you can call what I do reporting, it’s more along the lines of making shit up that seems to make sense at the time, but I figured, since she’s getting fat the only logical reason would be that she let some stranger cum inside her and now she’s debating whether to keep it or not, but will probably just let nature takes it’s course, you know with her hard drinkin’, the motherfucker will either drown in her womb. Good times. Here are her hard nipples.

Posted in:Kate Moss|Nipples|Pregnant

2009

06

Mar

Fergie’s got a Pot Belly for Mac of the Day

7 Comments »

Typical, Fergie quits meth and doesn’t get fat, you know she gets her shit together, gets fit, gets out of debt, launches a successful career and uses the meth card as a lesson to us all that if you do meth, you will succeed, but the second bitch gets married she lets it all go and gets fat.

Now I don’t know if she’s pregnant or if this is just an early case of “I can’t believe you are the woman I married”, but since I feel like the meth broke her uterus, I’m going to go with that she’s just gettin’ fat and fat people disgust me. Just about a minute ago I was taking a shit, and sure I hate when people talk about shitting, it’s all way too frat boy for me, but I looked down and saw what I’ve done to myself and was ashamed and disgusted, and I don’t even give a shit about myself, so when I see sluts I would have fucked at one point in time, following in my footsteps, I just can’t help but hate them.

Posted in:Fergie|Pot Belly|Pregnant

2009

05

Mar

Jennifer Love Hewitt is Pregnant on Set of the Day

16 Comments »

Jennifer Love Hewitt is playing a pregnant girl on her show the Ghost Whisperer. The good news is that she doesn’t need to get in costume. I don’t know if people actually watch this show, but I have heard stories from people who worked on set that involved staying out of her way when the food cart comes out, because the emotional eating is just fucking outrageous, especially now that her marriage was called off and she’s all alone, but being the star that she is, she pulled it together and made it work for her. I can only assume this pain from not having a baby and family of her own, channeled into her work playing a pregnant girl, will her an Academy Award, sure that shit’s not made for TV, but she is just that good that if she doesn’t get one, it is highway fucking robbery.

Again, I don’t know what I am talking about. It happens.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Pregnant

2009

12

Feb

Kate Moss is Supposed to Be Pregnant in this See Through of the Day

3 Comments »

Kate Moss is the boss. The rumor is that Kate Moss is pregnant because she’s got a belly and that’s a big deal for a retired model known form being fucking skinny, but she’s out getting drunk, so I assume she’s not, but then again these British slags (Lily Allen), don’t mind getting fucked up while pregnant, you feel less guilty when you have a miscarriage due to negligence versus an intentional abortion. I think she’s lookin’ alright in her see through outfit, but I also think crackwhores look alright because they are willing and affordable, so I’m probably not the best judge of these things.

On a side note, I miss Pete Doherty, bring him back you cunt. He was an inspiration to us all and now he’s gone.

Posted in:Kate Moss|Pregnant|See Through

2009

09

Feb

MIA Pregnant Performance at the Grammy’s of the Day

2 Comments »

I know Sri Lankans, some of my favorite beer venders are Sri Lankans, and evey time I go in the fucking place, the wife is knocked the fuck up and about to explode babies all over the cigarette display case, so seeing MIA performing on her due date didn’t do much for me, except turn me on, because I know the sheer top on pregnant chick is wrong because she’s too pregnant to take out back and rape like a farm animal, hey don’t hate me, she’s the cocktease, but clearly not always one because in a few hours bitch will be naked on a bed getting a 8 pound living thing ripped out of her snatch that she got getting 8 inches shoved in her snatch the last time she wore sheer panties and everyone knows that makin’ babies does more damage emotionally and physically than rape….so maybe you should find the baby daddy and tell him what he did was wrong, and leave me the fuck alone.

On a side note, Maya, as she’s known in Montreal to the hipsters, comes through here on the regular because one of her 300 aunts owns…wait for it…a store here, and I hear she’s nothing but a sweetheart to get drunk with so I won’t dis her like she was Lily Allen, Katy Perry or Lady Gaga or that trash, and I’ll just wish her a happy pregnancy/healthy delivery/and pray from some before and after pussy shots.

See, I’m a nice guy.

Here are some pictures of her dressed like a clown, if you look closely you’ll see her baby’s hand giving you the finger, cuz motherfucker’s already a rockstar, you’d have to be to survive that hairy womb.

Posted in:MIA|Performance|Pregnant

2009

29

Jan

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is Pregnant Again of the Day

9 Comments »

My neighbor just knocked on my door announcing that the ugly pussy on The View, not my sex Goddesses with a penis, Whoopi Goldberg or the other hotness that are Joy and Barbara who make up many of my sexual fantasies, is pregnant for the third time. This bitch is one of those religious types you see around who is constantly making fucking babies.

I thought she was just getting over the last pregnancy. How does a uterus handle that kind of abuse? Why the fuck is she so fertile? Is she trying to save her marriage or is she trying to lock her football husband down because she’s tired of him running around behind her back and thinks this is the way? Why doesn’t she take the load on her fucking face? Is this a tax write off, or maybe just a good reason to get paid leave from work when she needs a vacation…Does she realize what three pregnancies will do to her sex appeal/tits and pussy? What about the baggage it presents when she’s out shopping for a new husband when this one peaces the fuck out. It’s just fucking insanity, the world is overpopulated as is and her bringing more into this dying world to create garbage and mooch off our resources just shows how greedy and self absorbed she is. I think two kids was enough, give it a fucking rest, sure it’s appropriate for a cunt to make babies, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing isn’t disgusting.

That said, congrats, Elizabeth, may this pregnancy bring joy and happiness to your already thriving family, I expect you to document the entire delivery and sell the DVD and by expect I mean hope, because jerking off to you dilated has always been a dream, unless of course you decide no to go through with the pregnancy and need help “ending” it since you don’t believe in abortion, I am sure I can find a handful of people who would be willing to fuck the fetus out of you, while suckin’ your milk filled tits, if you know what I mean….

Now I have to go report my neighbor to my landlord for harassing me with such stupid fucking news.

Posted in:Elisabeth Hasselbeck|Pregnant

2008

15

Nov

Some Sick Motherfucker Knocked Up Alyson Hannigan of the Day

7 Comments »

The fact that Alyson Hannigan looks like she’s pregnant, you know, with that crazy fucker rubbing her belly and smiling like some kind of pervert trying to lure me into his van, means that Alyson Hannigan gets fucked and that disgusts me. I realize that most girls have sex, despite me not wanting to imagine what that shit looks like because they just aren’t up to par, so naturally, I was happy thinking that this orange haired demon was celibate, truth is that she has so little sex appeal that I was convinced she was some kind of pussyless creature created in Hollywood, because whenever I see pictures of her, that’s I just can’t imagine her having genitals, or using those genitals, or anyone wanting to play with those genitals, even if drunk, desperate, lookin’ for citizenship, broke, confused, a fame whore with limited options, totally unstable or crazy.

All that shoving a flute in her cunt in American Pie was gross enough, but knowing that the people behind that movie felt the same way that I did about her, you know casting her as the gross girl with no sex appeal and shit, not to mention shit was a movie and anything is possible in a movie, no matter how outrageous shit is, made it ok, but now we are faced with the reality that she is a woman and does have a vagina and does use that vagina and that is a horrible way to start my weekend…but you’ll probably like this shit, because you live, breathe and sleep everything Buffy, so it’ll help your expired fantasies of breeding with her a possibility, I am sure you have enough time on your hands to photoshop your face up on that guy she’s with, you know considering you’re reading this site on a fucking Weekend you fucking asshole….

Posted in:Alyson Hannigan|Pregnant

2008

13

Oct

Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant Again of the Day

5 Comments »

I was in a pharmacy buying “ointment” the other day and saw this National Enquierer cover that said Jamie Lynn is pregnant again, only a few months after giving birth to her other baby who won the fight with the abortion doctor and as I was about to pick it up some really disgusting fatter than me dude got next to me and started talking to himself about sluts in magazines and how he wants to fuck them all and how he knows they want it. Dude smelled like 6 week old dirty asshole, whore pussy and french fries and as he grunted and drooled over a teen bopper magazine, I decided it was a good time to leave, mainly because it was like lookin in the mirror and I wasn’t in the mood for that horrible reality, but also because the space between the magazine rack wasn’t big enough for the two of us and he conviently rubbed up against me when trying to get through and I didn’t want to smell him for the next few days before I decided to change my shirt…..

The point of this is to say, fuck the critics, teenage pregnancy is hot and you’re never too young to get started and I think it’s fucking amazing that Jamie Lynn is doing what her out of contol, teenage rebelling, very fertile uterus is telling her to do. I figure if she starts now, by the time she hits menopause, she’ll have a whole race of her own, and maybe even Wal Mart will open a outlet center in her backyard. We are all allowed to have dreams, but only some of us actually act on them and make them happen and for that Jamie Lynn Spears deserves some credit.

Posted in:Jamie Lynn Spears|Pregnant|Teenage Pregnancy

2008

16

Sep

Rebecca Romijn Stamos’ Pregnant Hard Nipples of the Day

2 Comments »

* Access to material has been disabled in compliance with DMCA *

I don’t know what’s worse, knowing that John Stamos used to fuck your chick or waking up and realizing that you are Jerry O’Connell, who despite landing some hot pussy after her prime, but is still hot pussy is still Jerry O’Connell, and despite having all kinds of money and Royalties from shit he did like My Secret Identity” , Stand By Me and Ollie Hopnoodle’s Haven of Bliss, dude’s still Jerry O’Connell.

I guess only he has the answer to one of life’s great mysteries that isn’t really a mystery at all, but I’ll never get to know the answer because he thinks he’s too cool for me and doesn’t answer my emails and he probably is too cool for me so I guess the real answer I was lookin’ for is that being Jesus Martinez is worse than bagging Stamos’ sloppies or being Jerry O’Connell and that’s the end of this post….

* Access to material has been disabled in compliance with DMCA *

Posted in:Pregnant|Rebecca Romijn Stamos