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Archive for the Pregnant Category

2008

25

Aug

Minnie Driver is Pregnant in a Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

I had an argument with a friend of mine about whether pregnant chicks are sexy. I was arguing that it is nice to see a girl doing what she’s supposed to in a generation where they think they have the right to be doctors and lawyers and career women, and a lot of chicks seem to be neglecting that they are built to make babies not make money, and he was arguing that it is creepy like she’s got an alien growing inside her and in the event he ever got a girl pregnant, he’d join the army to not have to deal with the pressure of her trying to fuck him while she’s all hormonal and bloated.

I guess these Minnie Driver pictures don’t really prove either side of the equation considering she wasn’t hot before she was pregnant ad sure as hell isn’t hot while pregnant, but she’s wearing a bikini and that’s good enough for me to overlook things like disgusting growths inside her disgusting, cum filled pregnant body.

Posted in:Bikini|Minnie Driver|Pregnant

2008

11

Aug

Melissa Theuriau is Topless and Pregnant of the Day

10 Comments »

YouTube Star and French Reporter Melissa Theuriau is topless and pregnant in some magazine paparazzi shots. Being topless is nothing abnormal in France, but pregnancy is, because french people like to fuck, but their idea of birth control is taking the load in their asses, true story, I know French people and they don’t believe in contraception because of the whole Catholic thing, but do believe in internal cum shots right in their ass lips….

The last time I saw a topless pregnant chick was at the stripclub, it was the same time I decided pregnancy was a beautiful thing, you know that whole circle of life shit where you get to see a woman doing what she’s really meant to do all while being a modern girl with self worth by doin’ it while in the work force establishing her career, it’s like Sex and the City before they all hit menopause, only the getting naked for perverts with money who like grabbing pregnant lady tits version.

I am only posting this shit, despite being boring and shitty quality, because her Youtube Videos get millions of views and I figure you’re one of the people who has seen them…repeatedly….you obsessive weirdo

Here are the Top 2 Theuriau Videos….

Melissa Theuriau Boring Me in a Compilation Video….

Melissa Theuriau Boring Me in 2006…

Posted in:Melissa Theuriau|Pregnant|Topless

2008

25

Jun

Minnie Driver and Her Pregnant Bikini Pictures of the Day

17 Comments »

Whoever said the miracle of life is a beautiful thing was wrong. That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Bikini|Minnie Driver|Pregnant

2008

13

Jun

Ashlee Simpson and Her Pregnancy Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Ashlee Simpson and her sperm donor hanging out with her new tits that will be alright to look at in the infancy of her pregnancy before she gets all fat and there’s no pleading ignorance on the shit when you mount her and enjoy the fruits of her sluttiness by not worrying about getting her pregnant because she already is pregnant and you only have to use a condom if you’re not a risk taker. Pussy.

Not that you’d ever mount her because she’s a good little Christian girl who’s only real slip up has been lying to the fucking public and having pre-marital sex with a bi-sexual heathen, that you’ll never have the opportunity to get with because she thinks she’s all famous and shit, but let it be a lesson for you to use when you try to have sex with your friend’s pregnant wife because we all know she was a slut to get into this mess to begin with and sluts generally put out.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Pregnant|Tits

2008

10

Jun

Paris Hilton’s Not Pregnant of the Day

1 Comment »

I heard on the news that there was a tornado warning and I got excited because I have never been in a tornado and assumed it was a sign of the apocalypse. When the power went out and the overcast and wind rolled in, I was excited to see the world come to an end. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and people like Paris Hilton as still gracing the planet, but the good news is that she’s gracing the planet alone and she doesn’t have a little spawn growing up inside her tattered womb like everyone reported last week.

She is however, still a trashy attention whore who despite having no talent or skills gets away with being a bisexual cokeslut drunk, and instead of being sent to rehab to save her career, is paid lots of money to show girls how to dance to the wrong song that the DJ is playing because the beat doesn’t go with her pre-planned moves.

The worst thing is that little girls are just copying her bullshit, wearing the party dresses, dancing on the bars and talking like a semi-retarded valley girl who got in an a drunk driving car accident on prom night and things just haven’t been the same since.

It’s got so bad that even today, I saw a little asian girl rockin’ animal print boots, she was about 3 and I already knew what fate had lined up for her and I blame Paris.

Either way, Paris was at a club, drinking and dancing and I assume that if that doesn’t confirm she’s not pregnant, and the fact that she’s got more pussy diseases than the SPCA and can’t get pregnant is just speculation, pictures of her miscarriage dripping down her thigh, is in the only thing that will let me sleep easy and can only hope it’s in the near future.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Pregnant

2008

06

Jun

Jessica Simpson is Probably Pregnant of the Day

4 Comments »

So someone told me that Jessica Simpson is moving into country because it has more longevity than pop since the people who listen to country are people of routine as they tend to their farms for generations doing the same jobs day in and day out from the age of 6, when they dropped out of school, until the day they die and are as loyal as Rusty, the dog they found in a ditch just outside of town when they were on their way to get feed and a new hinge for the barn door, and they decided to nurse him back to health and raise on the farm with the rest of their animals and who turned out to be a best friend and companion during all the low years when love just wasn’t goin’ their way. I guess it’s also got something to do with country fans not caring what the female performers look like because compared to their toothless haggard and obese wife they end up with, even Rusty starts to look like a natural beauty, if you know what I mean.

Either way, I think she’s moving to country because she needs something more wholesome because she’s knocked up. I ran these pictures by my expert in pregnancy, who is some slut I met at a bar who has happened to have had over 10 abortions and has been pregnant about 30 times in the last 10 years and she seems to think that Jessica is hiding something and that Tony Romo is back with her because of something and that Joe Simpson, who would normally dress her in a bikini is covering her up to look a lot more wholesome because of something.

Everything she does is a career move and that even the biggest perverts I know get thrown off when they get lap dances from pregnant strippers so as of today, she’s either trying to luring in the Christians who think she’s a tramp to buy her new album, or she’s laying the groundwork so that the Christians who can see past her being a tramp but won’t tolerate a slutty pregnant chick won’t turn on her.

So according to me and my team of one slut, Jessica Simpson is knocked up.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Pregnant

2008

05

Jun

Paris Hilton is Probably Pregnant of the Day

4 Comments »

Paris Hilton seems to have be a little jealous of Nicole Richie because Paris Hilton is a catty little cunt who wants the spotlight on her. She’s gone onto date Nicole Richie’s baby daddy’s twin and now looks like she’s knocked up. I guess this is a miracle from God, not because you’d think all the abortions and STDs would leave her barren, but because it means that the Good Charlotte sister’s don’t actually have vaginas. I remember watching some kind of documentary as a kid about a kid born to a herpes ridden vagina and how it had the shit all over it’s head like some kind of monster and that makes me excited to see the baby pictures, provided she doesn’t get a third trimester abortion when the baby miscarries due to her drug habits, eating disorders and when it realizes who’s womb it’s inside and kills itself.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Pregnant

2008

15

May

Jessica Alba is a Pregnant Cunt of the Day

1 Comment »

So Jessica Alba doesn’t like the paparazzi taking pictures of her and gets so aggressive that she’s throws up the finger like it ain’t a thing, making me think that she is going to be an abusive mother with no patience. It would probably make sense for Alba to relocate during the pregnancy to a small town somewhere that paparazzi don’t hang out. I feel like hitting up the local Baja Fresh in Beverly Hills is probably putting yourself out there at a level you shouldn’t get mad at the paparazzi for, making her look like a total piece of shit cunt.

I guess it’s nice to see that her mother has stepped in to take care of her while Cash Warren is out doin’ his thing because he is still bitter than she didn’t get the abortion he demanded because he knew she got pregnant by using a sperm sample she spat into a tupperwear and kept in the freezer in case he ever left her. What isn’t very nice about her mother stepping up to the plate is that she’s fuckin’ disgusting looking and seems like the only plate she’s been stepping up to is one full of fuckin’ bacon.

The whole look at the mother when landing the chick obviously wasn’t taken seriously when Cash Warren hooked up with Alba in her peak without realizing it was going to be a life sentence, because if this is a glimpse into the future it’s not so fuckin’ bright. To be fair to Alba’s mom, maybe she’s packin’ on some pregnancy weight since her daughter’s overeating is a good excuse to indulge her eating fantasies like the time I gained 25 lbs when one of my girlfriend’s got knocked up but the difference was that my chick got an abortion and I was just making excuses to eat late night pizza.

Either way, here’s Alba and her mom.


Posted in:Cunt|Jessica Alba|Pregnant

2008

13

May

Britney Spears Scratching Her Pregnant Ass of the Day

18 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I was walking home drunk around 4 am the other day and the cops decided to come hassle me. As I was talking to them trying to avoid getting arrested by telling them I am just walking home and that I don’t want trouble and shit, this crackhead black chick who was clearly pregnant and completely fucked out of her tree on whatever the fuck drugs she was on rides her bike by us, if you can call what she was doing riding a bike, it was more like swerving in and out of traffic on some kind of death ride like a drunken, drugged up pregnant chick on a bike would ride a bike. As soon as she sees the fuckin’ cops and me she panics, drops the bike and runs in the opposite direction. I try to tell the cops that I think they are wasting their time with me because this chick is obviously on drugs, obviously stole that bike and is ditching it and is obviously up to no fuckin’ good because she saw cops and is fleeing but instead of letting innocent me go home to check out the criminal, they ended up getting mad at me for trying to videotape the bitch and for telling them how to do their job and gave me some public drunkeness ticket. It’s like when I see cops giving out speeding tickets to people going 50 in a school zone, while there are people making meth in their basements to sell to those kids. It’s nice to see the pigs have their priorities straight.

Speaking of priorities, it looks like Britney’s are completely set striaght, because I know how a bad wipe or hemorrhoids can takeover someone’s life. I live with an obese woman and scratching her ass seems to be something she does more than eating bags of chips with her unwashed asshole smelling fingers. It’s pretty gross when my wife does it, but I think it’s hot when Britney does it because she’ may look like ghetto trash but she’s rich and that means her shit is more valuable than my wife’s poverty shit and you can probably smell that difference in their stained week old panties.

I had to Take the Images Down By X17 – But They Have Them Posted on Their Site So You Can Just Check Them Out There
GO

Posted in:Britney Spears|Pregnant|Scratching Ass

2008

23

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Pregnant Tits of the Day

9 Comments »

I love how all these fuckin’ virgins get all excited when a pregnant chick shows up with her cleavage exposed because her tits are miraculously bigger. It’s like seeing a teenage kid who just hit puberty on the beach amongst girls in bikinis. Their excitement makes no fuckin’ sense to me, maybe it’s because I know the condition her pussy will be in in 9 months, or maybe it’s cuz I don’t like lookin’ at fat chicks with big tits because I don’t like fat tits or maybe it’s because big tits usually mean sloppy asses. The truth is that getting off to a pregnant chick is some twisted shit and a losers sport. I have a hard enough time fucking a hooker knowing she slammed a guy an hour before me so thinking about a dude beating me to the prize and the proof is showing in her fat uterus that I am trying to cum inside really messes with my head.

The good news is that despite how twisted I am and how much I enjoy watching girls breast feed their babies in public, I can die knowing that I am not as sexually fucked up as I am accused of while all these other sick seemingly normal virgins fucks are jerking off to knocked up Brazilian bitches and I’m at home watching Brazilian tranny porn, because there’s nothing more normal than watching a hot chick with a dick getting sucked off by another hot chick.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pregnant|Tits