Shorts Archives - Page 10 of 10 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

08

Jun

I am – Carrie Underwood Playing Softball of the Day

I was contacted by a retried runway Model from New England. She told me some stories of doing coke, having an eating disorder and retiring from her career when she 24 or some shit. She wanted to write for the site and this is what she came up with for these Carrie Underwood pics….

Here is Carrie Underwood, continuing to milk Idol fame by wearing a hot outfit and pretending to play softball. Bitch is working it for softball/baseball season to promote her shitty country song about some guy cheating on her ass.

Personally, I love the song because itâ€™s a good chick song to scream when youâ€™re driving but Iâ€™m a hypocrite because I am dating a married man. Anyway. Iâ€™d work that shit, too, if I had such a crappy song on the radio

I think it is pretty fucking boring. I guess she’s fired too. She could written about getting fucked or loving dick or masturbating instead she talks about screaming along to a chick song. If I wrote this post I don’t know what angle I would have taken because I am feeling fucking stupid with a serious lack of sleep, but I am sure it would have been better than this trash…Maybe about when I used to watch the girls in my highschool practice soccer in shorts like this so that I could watch their tits bounce, or maybe talk about how girls who play sports scare me because they are more man that I’ll ever be, but I didn’t write this post and that’s why it sucks.Thanks for nothing asshole.

Posted in:Carrie Underwood|Shorts|Sports|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Mila Kunis Wears Short Shorts of the Day

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So I ended up going out to the Steve Aoki show because I thought it would be funny. I thought there would be lots of sluts and I figured that if someone you write a post about saying they bang their sister ends up hookin’ you up to go to their event, you gotta take the opportunity to see if they will have a baseball bat in hand to take your face off.

I got to the club, they didn’t want to let me in, they told me that I wasn’t on the list and that I didn’t meet dress code standards. I somehow swindled my way into the club promising the bouncers I wouldn’t leave the DJ Booth area and mingle with their clients….

I walked up to Aoki, some groupie with fake tits was talking to him, shook his hand, knocked her drink out of her hand and she spilled it all over herself and tried to tell me off. He was very nice about things and I ended up having a good time drinking off the club’s bottle of Grey Goose and lookin’ up girls skirts. So the advice of the day is try to offend people enough so they know who you are, then ask them for free shit.

Here are some pictures of Mila Kunis because she was on that 70s Show and Aoki’s DJ partner is on that 70s show and she’s wearing short shorts….

I am running off 2 hours of sleep – I’ll be back on later today with more hits.

Posted in:Ass|Legs|Mila Kunis|Shorts|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Britney Spears Dressed Like a Porno Clown of the Day

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Britney was spotted out in LA with some chick who she probably is paying to be her friend dressed like a clown I want to fuck. I don’t know much about fashion, I wear fucking soiled clothes that smell like my ass and I haven’t really bought anything in the last 10 years it’s all been stuff my wife accumulates because I have pretty much given up but I do know that Von Dutch trucker hats have been out of style for at least 3 years. I remember a time when every cunt and his sister had one of these fuckers and it used to really piss me the fuck off. The idiots who paid the 50 – 100 dollars for the stupid things, didn’t realize that trucker hats are the cheapest hats out there and the ones I used to wear never cost me more than 50 cents. Unfortunately, those same fuckers have since realized that because I used to like using the hat as a warning sign of who to stay as fuck away from for being a cunt or who to try to hit up for some spare change because they were obviously fucking assholes when it came to their finances…

If you’re wondering why I want to bang her, it’s because busting all over her bald head would be funny, the bruised legs and high socks and short shorts remind me of 70s porn and the glasses remind me of a rich Jewish grandmother who’s about to die and leave me her millions of dollars in my very own trust fund…which banging Britney pretty much is if you get her load dropped in the right place but the whole decision making process of whether to hit her head or bank account through her womb would be too much to handle, thank god I am impotent and don’t have to make these decisions….and her fucking towel reminding us all that bitch is fucking crazy as she grasps her friends hand to guide her through the streets because she is so jacked on meds she doesn’t know where she is.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Shorts|Socks|Unsorted

2006

28

Jul

I am – Rihanna's Shorts of the Day

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Here are some pics of Rhianna in shorts, showin’ off her legs. It seems to be a constant theme in her life. I can only assume that she had some sleazy uncle tell her over and over that her legs were amazing, because she’s obviously thinkin’ that her legs are the prize. Someone just told me that she’s a half-breed and thought that since I was speaking of prize, I’d mention how funny it was during colonialization of all these undeveloped countries, the rich European man had his choice of poor local women. I think that’s how Lenny Kravitz was born with a Jewish name. It is late, I am tired, this post was a definite miss….

Posted in:Rihanna|Shorts|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Jul

I am – Rihanna’s Shorts of the Day

10 Comments »

Here are some pics of Rhianna in shorts, showin’ off her legs. It seems to be a constant theme in her life. I can only assume that she had some sleazy uncle tell her over and over that her legs were amazing, because she’s obviously thinkin’ that her legs are the prize. Someone just told me that she’s a half-breed and thought that since I was speaking of prize, I’d mention how funny it was during colonialization of all these undeveloped countries, the rich European man had his choice of poor local women. I think that’s how Lenny Kravitz was born with a Jewish name. It is late, I am tired, this post was a definite miss….