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Archive for the Shorts Category

2009

03

Mar

Gisele and Her Hard Nipples in Short Shorts of the Day

6 Comments »

The rumor is that Tom Brady and Gisele had a secret wedding and I don’t really know why anyone really cares, I have no idea why them being married will have any real impact on anyone’s life, it’s not like we’re friends with the couple and they went off to Vegas or Mexico and came back hitched, I mean they are just people we see on TV and in magazines and shit and aren’t even real, so when I saw the story everywhere, I couldn’t help but think anyone who would talk about this in their everyday life, was seriously lacking substance and a life of their own, so to honor that opinion I wasn’t going to write about it, but then bitch goes out in short shorts with hard nipples and I am forced to, I am a weak man.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, she’s got a dick, from the neck up she looks like Fabio or Sean Penn in Fastimes, you know hard man features and a pointy scary face, but that body is pretty alright, the kind you’d fuck, even if it was pre-op.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Hard Nipples|Legs|Shorts

2009

26

Feb

Vanessa Hudgens Showing Off Some Leg of the Day

5 Comments »

Vanessa Hudgens doesn’t inspire me. Facebook does. So this is what I wrote to some girl I don’t know who has her status set to “Spring Break is Amazing, Home Sunday”

i miss you

come home

i miss our late night chats

our movie nights where we cuddle on the couch….

but more importantly – i miss the anal.

She didn’t answer me, just like I’m not going to answer these Vanessa Hudgens pictures, something I am sure she’s used to, you know dating a faggot, where anything she does gets little to no reaction. She can come out with a vibrator and the hottest lingerie and homeboy will ask her to get out of the way of the TV because he’s watching Gossip Girl and she knows not to bother him while Gossip Girl is on….if you know what I mean…and even when shit’s over he only really give her attention when she turns the dildo onto him

BONUS – ASHLEY TISDALE UGLY WATCH….

Yep…she’s still ugly….just making sure….

Posted in:Legs|Shorts|Vanessa Hudgens

2009

13

Feb

Some Hot Ivana Trump Vacation Pictures of the Day

4 Comments »

Seeing a 65 year old multiple divorcee socialite on vacation with a random man just doesn’t do the same thing to me as seeing a hot young piece out being a slut on vacation.

I guess I am a racist against old ladies and couldn’t care less how many cocks their desert storm pussies explore or have explored because they are already disgusting to me and nothing they could do could turn me off as much as they already do.

The only thing that could redeem them in my mind is if they shot a sex tape that starts when one of these fuckers is getting their soiled depends changed by the other one, and out come the dentures and in goes the half hard dying cock, but that’s just because it’d be funny.

Either way, here she is on vacation, maybe I should give old ladies more love, especially the financially stable ones…

Posted in:Ivana Trump|Shorts|Slut|Vacation

2009

10

Feb

Jessica Simpson’s Short Short Concert Pics of the Day

5 Comments »

I had these pictures lined up yesterday, but then the Grammy’s post gave me a mild heart attack that is apparently not a heart attack at all, but probably just too much caffeine making me feel like the biggest fucking pussy around, I mean other than Jessica Simpson, I hear she’s working on eating too much of everything to actually be the biggest fucking pussy around, before choking on her own neck fat before dying of a heart attack.

I am talking a pussy so big you’d take your kids on a day trip to see and maybe even drive through like one of those West Coast Redwoods. A pussy so big it’s got it’s own digestive system, that allows Jessica Simpson to eat double the ridiculously large amount of food she already consumes….

I am sure these pictures have already been plastered everywhere, but I’m not the kind of guy who does work uploading pictures to not post them, so enjoy them a second time around, since she’s not too fat to jerk off to.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Performing|Shorts

2009

05

Feb

Juliette Lewis in Some Mom Shorts on Set of the Day

2 Comments »

Juliette Lewis is still working and here she is on the set of something called Sympathy for Delicious. I didn’t bother looking it up because I figure it’s not going to make a difference and I am lazy, but I do know that I have mixed feelings about this girl. Part of me is disgusted by her because she looks like every cheap hooker I’ve ever seduced with a 20 dollar bill because they were desperate for whatever drug they were addicted to, but at the same time, some of my best times were spent with some of these girls, I think I may have even felt love for the first and only time with one of them. I am not going to get into it because it’s Valentines Day and I like to front like I have no soul, but I will let you know that before she died, every night we spent together was fucking magical, despite how disgusting it smelled. I guess that along with love being blind, it also has a sinus condition that makes it unable to smell too.

That said, here is some rich person, crackwhore wannabe slut on set in some trashy shorts.

Posted in:Juliette Lewis|Legs|Shorts

2009

19

Jan

Brooke Hogan Goes Rollerblading of the Day

3 Comments »

If you’ve wondered how Brooke Hogan keeps the figure she inherited from her father, this isn’t you’re answer. I am going to assume she rollerblades for transportation after her brother’s horrific accident made her scared of cars, because that shit is supposed to be cardio and cardio goes against staying a fucking monster of a girl. She reminds me of those dudes you know aren’t straight who rollerblade along the boardwalk in their bike shorts and nothing else in hopes of seducing men, because anyone who slips a pair of these bad boys on is clearly pussy whipped or a homo. This post is a waste of time, I probably should have warned you before you got this far, assuming you got this far, which we all know is serious wishful thinking. The same wishful thinking Brooke has when it comes to fitting into her thin fit jeans.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Rollerblading|Shorts

2008

22

Dec

Pam Anderson’s Short Shorts at the Airport of the Day

6 Comments »

So Pam Anderson was at the airport this weekend, but I don’t really know whether these pics are actually recent or not, as I gave up on tracking Pamela Anderson’s activity a solid 10 years ago, when she was still solid, and not slowly melting away, like she is in these pictures. I do know that her shorts are pretty fucking short, like she’s trying to squeeze into her favorite pair of white pants from 6th grade, but I haven’t really got any problem with it, because unlike the 6th grade, I know she doesn’t have to worry about getting her period in front of everyone in a pair of white pants, scarring her, because her menopausal vagina doesn’t it’s period any more….

Not that it matters, what does matter is that Pam Anderson isn’t the only one going on vacation for the Holidays, because these shorts seem to be doing a little traveling of their own, only instead of visiting family or a tropical beautiful place, they are visiting a third worlds, diseased, polluted hell…one I wouldn’t mind getting knee deep into because when push comes to shove, I don’t really mind aging cunt as much as I pretend I do.

Posted in:Ass|Pam Anderson|Shorts

2008

18

Dec

Lily Allen and Her Miscarriage Fish Nets of the Day

5 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Lily Allen in a homemade Coco Chanel shirt that I find kinda funny, because a bunch of years back, I did the same thing with a marker and a white t-shirt, only I didn’t do Coco Chanel, I went with Nike, because I wanted people to think I was into fitness and not trying to make some kind of commentary on designer clothes being a waste of money, despite Lily Allen’s closet probably consisting of more designer shit than anyone you know, leaving her in no position to get all ironic on our asses, if that’s even irony, because I am not a fucking English teacher and I don’t do definitions, but you know what I’m saying, it’s like a chick with implants stuffing her bra, or maybe it’s not like that at all, what do I fucking know, I’m hung over….

The good news is that her pantyhose to a good job keeping the fetus she’s been too emotional to flush and that she instead shoved back inside her in place. It’s like trapping the fucking thing in a net so it doesn’t run away like she’s on a fucking fishing trip, if you know what I mean….which you don’t because I don’t.

For the record, she may look like a dumpy short legged troll, but I’d still fuck her.

Posted in:Fishnets|Lily Allen|Shorts

2008

15

Nov

Obama Goes To The Internet While Palin Goes to Florida of the Day

3 Comments »

Your soon to be President has decided to use the Internet to keep in contact with his people, he plans on doing one of these addresses a week and I think that’s a good sign because everyone uses the internet, and will be up to date on what’s going on, instead of in the dark like they have been the last 200 years. It’s his way of getting America involved and informed and I think it is some pretty clever thinking, but if he really wants this video to work, and get the top rated Youtube views, l he’s gotta do is throw in a couple tits, maybe some girl having a stripper pole accident, or a gay guy screaming to leave Britney alone and a clever comedy song because this political shit is pretty dry fucking content, but I thought it was a sign that the internet’s actually a serious thing and not just a place to hustle chicks and jerk off to every type of porn imaginable….and Obama turning to the Internet means it’s ok to sit in front of your computer and waste away and I guess that’s the kind of validation I need.

On a side note, when I pushed play on this shit, my wife’s dog went fucking nuts, he started growling and barking and was really not feeling it, and he’s black and only barks at videos with other animals in it, so I don’t know what that says about Obama, but I do know that he’s not the only republican dog at there and here’s America’s favorite lipstick-wearing republican pit bull in Florida drinking and slackin’ off, in a pair of short shorts and I figured you’d like that, since you want to fuck her and you think you have a chance because she seems like she’s just that fuckin’ dumb….

Posted in:Internet|Obama|Sarah Palin|Shorts

2008

29

Oct

Selma Blair Wears Some Shorts on Set of Her TV Show of the Day

No Comments »

Don’t bother emailing me asking why the fuck I am posting this, not that you will, because I don’t really get emails, but it feels better to pretend people care enough to send in messages of encouragement or hate, but we all know that I am too irrelevant than that, so I’ll just stick to sending myself emails from various email addresses I’ve set up, and reading my SPAM because those people will always be there for me, and in fact are offering me 30 million dollars because they are the son of a Prince as well as penis enlargement medication, because they really understand my needs, and we all know that’s more than you’ve ever done for me.

Speaking of SPAM, Selma Blair, Hollywood’s own version of SPAM landed her very own role in a TV show, because I guess the persistant emails and phonecalls to producers was bound to annoy one of them enough to give her work, because that’s the only justification I can think of for her being on set dressed like a colorful streetwhore, but I figured it’s worth drawing attention to because it’s a motivational poster to all of you, that pretty much anyone can make it when they don’t have a gag reflex. Thanks Selma.

Posted in:Selma Blair|Shorts