I went out for a sandwich cuz the sandwich guy gives me free sandwiches. He knows I am a hurtbag. I got pretty fucking annoyed because they didn’t have what I wanted and I feel like beggars should be choosers, otherwise they’ll always get second best. I went to starbucks to get a free coffee from the girl who gives me free coffee. She knows that I am a hurtbag. I got pretty fucking happy because my favorite homeless guy was there only today he was fucking INSANE. He is the same guy who asked me if I was working on a computer. Anyway, today he was screaming about his Dad and about Guns and it’s pretty fucking clear that I wouldn’t let him babysit my stepdaughters….

Speaking of hurtbags, homeless men and people I wouldn’t let babysit my stepchildren, I realized today that MUNG has stopped visiting the site, he has stopped sending in his posts, he’s fallen off the map. I think he’s got a job or maybe a gf and maybe his life has taken a turn for the better. MUNG, if you’re out there, I hope all is good you’ll always be second best to me, but that’s a good place to be….

Speaking of all second best, here are some pics of Kim Kardashian at some Volkswagen Event Showing off her Big Boobs .

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I have emailed American Apparel asking them for an advertising deal. I am tired of working for nothing and I know that if I don’t get this deal I am forced to sell the site or shut down the site, which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing for me, but it would be a bad thing for you.

If I don’t get this deal, the end of stepfather will come and I’ll have to get back to working a regular 9-5 job. Point of the story is that American Apparel has money, they are equally sleazy to me and I have the CEO Dov Charney’s email address. So I suggest that you fans do your part in helping me land an ad deal by sending him an email asking for his support. It’s like strength in numbers or some shit…and if it doesn’t work out at least we all left our mark and tried our best and went out with a bang….

So if you want to SAVE DrunkenStepfather

The more people who send that out, the more chance of getting American Apparel to Advertise. If you really want to make sure he notices, send him sleazy pics of hot young girls, I heard he’s into that. Thanks in Advance, My Fingers are Crossed and Cuddles.

Speaking of Sleazy pics of young girls, here’s some of Lohan leaving a club showing off her bra…

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I just watched Oprah and learned a whole lot about sleep apnea, losing weight and gaining inches in your penis, the benefits of constant sex and a 30 year old who is really 55 years old in health cuz he has high blood pressure and diabetes….it was life changing and makes me realize I need to get a fucking job, I am becoming a woman. Which isn’t a bad thing since I like boobs.

Speaking of life changing, the news anchor just said “Whipped Cream Covered Nipples” and made the funniest face I’ve ever seen, like a “who the fuck wrote this” and it made me laugh. Again too much T.V. with only one channel reminds me that I am a housewife without all the responsibility of raising the kids…

Speaking of laugh, here are my stepLINKS.

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I am not a pedophile or sex offender, but I think some pedophile police are trying to track me down or build a case against me via myspace and this site. I haven’t broken any laws by posting underage girl pictures but I feel like someone is waiting for me to fuck up. I may have come close by writing inappropriate things to randoms on mysapce without thinking. I also know that some of you readers may be pedophiles, but I never provide you with pedophile entertainment and I don’t condone your sick behavior.

I know that I went through a phase where I would link to youtube videos of people of a variety of ages, but that was my way of saying that youtube breed sex offenders and they were bought for 1.6 Billion Dollars. Kinda crooked if you ask me….and since that’s out of my system and the point is proven, I’ve stopped.

To clarify things, this is a celebrity/social commentary site and it’s all done for comedic and entertainment purposes. This site is not meant to be a place for criminals to congregate, it’s a place for me to get drunk and molest you with my stupid rants…that you are supposed to laugh at and shake your head at thinking to yourself how lucky you are to not be me.

I ended up seeing the Uganda movie I saw on Oprah last week about the dictator who went crazy from the paranoia that his allies and advisors were working against him. Despite people sending me random messages that seem like traps from fake myspace profiles, or emails from people I don’t know with the names of people who helped me with the site….Despite the fact that my gmail was hacked and my lap top was stolen… I will not allow that paranoia to get the best of me.

What I will do is continue the site but watch every word I type, to prevent mis-interpretation that leaves me raped in the shower of prison or I may stop the site completely because this shit’s definitely not worth going to jail for…when I could just focus my writing into a book, the chances of getting published are about as high as the chances of making money off this last week’s kitchen garbage of a site.

For the record – 14 is the age of consent in Canada and 18 is legal for Nude pics, someone told me 16 is ok for topless and I posted some UK model named Cherry Dee’s topless pics when she was 16 and Emmalina the Youtube whore pics from when she was underage prior to knowing they were underage and when I did find out they were underage I pulled the pics…we all make mistakes…It’s safe to say that when I become famous, I’ll just run each post by a lawyer before publishing it on the web. Right now, I will stick to worrying about making rent this month and not about FBI being after me or being rich enough to hire lawyers to defend me.

On that note here are some Hayden Panettiere with Santa Pics… Enjoy you fucking sicko…CUDDLES.

BONUS – HER UPSKIRT FROM A NATIONAL TELEVISION NETWORK…..NOT FROM MY PERSONAL PHOTO STUDIO….

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I love that out of the 10 people who read this site, 5 of you email me asking to hang out and you are dudes. I generally don’t meet men off the internet…so you may be out of luck. I do however meet men who take me to movies, but not in a gay way, in a something to do on a tuesday night when I have no money and no booze and someone I know offered to pay for me kind of way. So that’s where I am going now…but before I leave…here are my steplinks of the day…

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JESUS’ PINK ASS

THE NOT-SO-STEPFATHER CREST

STEP TV

VINTAGE STEPDAUGHTER TATTOO

LOHAN STALKER

I need to sell 250 shirts to pay for my server. I need a better design than the one I have because no one wants the one I have and I need to sell 250 shirts to pay for my server. These are the submissions I’ve got so far, I don’t think any of these will sell or that any of these are really that good, but I need to sort this out ASAP cuz otherwise the site gets shut down and none of us really want that. I hate reaching out to you asking for your advice because I know you are a loser and I know that you have no idea as to what’s up or as to what’s cool or as to what 250 people will buy but I figured that since I need your money, I guess I want to make sure that you need my t-shirt, so leave your feedback in the comments so that I can get this shit sorted out. Thanks in advance and Cuddles.

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We always knew that Brittany Murphy was a whore, but not one of those whores with that Mascot Fetish I once read about. That’s pretty much one of the weirdest fetishes around. I know that she’s at a movie premiere, but the thought of her only being able to get off to men dressed up like stuffed animals seems so much more interesting that her doing an obnoxious pose for the camera. Speaking of movies, I went to see Bobby, that shit that almost made that Spic Emilo suicidal, so my expectations were unrealistic. It was American smut at it’s best and made Bobby look like he was Jesus (not my kind of Jesus), but I had a good time. My doctor brought me to the movie and it was a 2 for $7 night, so don’t be getting any ideas that I’m living large here, unless by large you mean unable to fit in my pants or on the seats on the bus designed for one….This is where I’d bring it back to Brittany Murphy, but all I can think of is cropping her stretch mark titties because I’m not that creative. If I was smart I’d google news the bitch and quote the first story that comes up, like a real celeb blogger…maybe that’s what I’ll do….here I go….

Starring alongside ROBIN WILLIAMS in HAPPY FEET stirred up old emotions for BRITTANY MURPHY – he was her first teenage crush. The 8 MILE star confesses she lusted after the funnyman when she was 14 and he was 40. Murphy, 29, says, “I had a crush on Robin Williams when I was younger. I was fourteen and I was asked to nominate my Valentine crush when I was at school. “And it was between JOHNNY CARSON and Robin Williams – so I went for Williams because Carson was way too old for me. “Robin doesn’t actually know. I don’t know if I will tell him. I think he is so funny. And that’s a huge attraction for a girl.”

Oh Brittany…You Whore…..

Admit that me pretending to be a relevant celebrity news source was funny. CUDDLES.

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These pictures are shitty quality, which is pretty appropriate considering this site is pretty shitty quality. I am having some major fucing regrets about the t-shirts I was getting made, I figured I’d unload all of them at $14.99 in about 10 minutes, but I got no fucking response, so I can only assume that it’s not the right design and I’ve gone back to the drawing table to find the next big hit of a shirt, because if I don’t unload 100 of those…I’m fucked and will have to shut down the site. It’s pretty much that simple.

Speaking of simple, here are some pics of Britney Spears with her new dyke love Paris…again. It’s a pretty fucking simple way to get publicity…I guess if these these bitches don’t have sex tape competitions to the death. ‘d get annoyed of anyone I spent every day for the last two weeks with, so annoyed that I’d forget to cover my fat, just had a baby ass. Just like Britney, here are the shitty quality pictures.

Now the real deal….

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I’ve only got a few of these made on this run and this is probably the last time I produce shirts with this logo, so it’s limited fucking edition. It seems that you are too pussy to buy it because you are too scared to wear it in public.

So if you like the site and want to help me pay off some debt I’ve accumulated in entertaining you daily and if you want to rock the coolest fucking shirt I’ve ever made…I suggest buying it.

It’s $14.99 plus shipping and that makes for a cheap fucking t-shirt.

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Her name is Myleene Klass, she’s on a show called “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” on some TV channel called ITV. I haven’t got a whole lot of travel experience under my belt, not because there’s no more room under my belt because I am filled with cake but because I am broke and have always been.

I do know that these caps of her are from the show and she’s in a bikini. I tend to post a lot of bikini pics on this garbage site. Perverts everywhere seem down with bikinis, and the more perverts I have stopping by the more I have to pay in bandwidth driving me further in debt, preventing me from future travels, so theoretically it’s all your fault that I am in this mess, but that’s not the point.

The point is that the lovely people at Vice, who have never answered an email of mine and who refused to publish my “how to have free sex with a hooker” article, invited me to attend their VICE GUIDE TO TRAVEL DVD premiere. Vice is pretty much the American Apparel of Magazines and they work pretty tightly together reaching that 14 year old market. This DVD was financed by MTV, so despite coming across as underground, it’s pretty much the same shit as Laguna Beach only in this episode they go to the slums of Brazil, the Chernobyl Radioactive-Zone, Afghanistan illegal arms trade caves, the Congo looking for dinosaurs and it was actually pretty fucking entertaining. So BUY A COPY and email them telling them that I referred you and that they should some of that MTV money my way because my ideas are better than theirs…

Either way, Here’s Myleene Klass….

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