Today was a day of serious loss. I lost my love interest to some dude who does shitty impressions because I am married, impotent and apparently a liar. I lost my brother Hector’s iPod that he left behind and I tried to fedex to him, but forget the tracking number because I am not good with everyday things like that. We all lost the bitch in the Depends commercials and the schizo from Pink Floyd. Lucky for you, I didn’t lose my internet connection and here are some links for the day…..fuckers.

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What happens when Tommy Lee sobers up enough to realize that the hot blond implanted sluts who were throwing their pussies at him all through the 90s are now 40 and look like useless beat up whores. Then again, I guess the fact that he’s on TV is enough reason for all 20 year old party sluts to throw their pussies at him….so maybe this post is wrong, maybe he isn’t past his prime at all and I am just an idiot writing on some dude I know nothing about like a 15 year old girl with a subscription to US Weekly….I think that’s probably the case. Cuddles.

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Remember when Madonna slutted herself out in Argentina while filming Evita or whatever the fuck that movie was called. Well this is the biproduct of one night, some spic jizm and Madonna’s loose fertile womb. I know I get ripped apart for commenting on celebrity kids, and I know that it’s not her fault her mom is a slut with an illegitimate child. Give her a couple years to grow up, some depilatory cream for her moustache and she’ll be breakin’ hearts just like her mom too.

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Remember when Madonna slutted herself out in Argentina while filming Evita or whatever the fuck that movie was called. Well this is the biproduct of one night, some spic jizm and Madonna’s loose fertile womb. I know I get ripped apart for commenting on celebrity kids, and I know that it’s not her fault her mom is a slut with an illegitimate child. Give her a couple years to grow up, some depilatory cream for her moustache and she’ll be breakin’ hearts just like her mom too.

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These pictures are a week old, but they are uploaded on my server, and being the lazy fuck I am, I decided to post them. I am pretty excited for you all to dis me and tell me how other sites had these up last week and how I am so behind the game on celebrity paprazzi pics and shit. I figure if you care enough to hate me I am doing the right thing.

Now, how fresh is this baby, cuz LAZY Stefani hasn’t lost her baby weight. I wonder if she’s gonna end up like the fat bitch who works at the WalMart by my house. That bitch was stripping back when she was 20, by 25 she had two babies, by 28 she weighed 300 lbs, by 30 she’s a cashier at Walmart. True story, now tell your friends.

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These pictures are a week old, but they are uploaded on my server, and being the lazy fuck I am, I decided to post them. I am pretty excited for you all to dis me and tell me how other sites had these up last week and how I am so behind the game on celebrity paprazzi pics and shit. I figure if you care enough to hate me I am doing the right thing.

Now, how fresh is this baby, cuz LAZY Stefani hasn’t lost her baby weight. I wonder if she’s gonna end up like the fat bitch who works at the WalMart by my house. That bitch was stripping back when she was 20, by 25 she had two babies, by 28 she weighed 300 lbs, by 30 she’s a cashier at Walmart. True story, now tell your friends.

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I remember when I would used to see David Arquette on TV and think to myself that this dude does not get laid. He was too fucking annoying to have any game and I was convinced he was destined to have a life of banging hookers or his brother, the post-op tranny…Then big eared Cox came into the picture, they got married and have brought in a useless STD into the world forever binding their love. I guess that teaches us two things, one that no matter how useless, lame and unfunny you are, some confused sitcom star will find your awkwardness charming. The other thing we have learnt is that I have absolutely no insight at all and you reading this was a waste of your time. Cuddles.

r

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You are a Virgin, Richard Branson owns Virgin, his son is probably not a Virgin, he looks like the kind of guy sluts like Lohan and Paris are going to be throwing their vagina’s at because the son of a billionaire is always more appealing than some hack rockstar or actor. Trust funds are cooler than hard earned money. Either way, I am more interested in Grandpa Billionaire’s tits, if I wasn’t impotent, I’d titty fuck the motherfucker and it wouldn’t be gay, but that’s just how I am livin’. Don’t believe me, I am just telling you what you want to hear.

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Sometimes I wake up at 2 pm, fully clothed on the floor of my kitchen with salsa dried up on my face. Those are the days where I feel like this site is a huge waste of my fucking time, and I know you guys are annoyed of my bitching about how much I suck, but it’s kinda what I do. I am not depressed or hating on myself, I am just bored of this shit. There’s nothing happening, the site’s less popular than it was last year, I make no money, and I hate celebrity shit. I haven’t made out with Lohan or been invited to any celebrity parties. I emailed American Apparel once for an ad deal and they never returned my call.

Maybe that’s the problem, I am posting on shit I don’t care about, just trying to get traffic. But then, I sober up and realize, I really have nothing better to do with my time. Kinda like this slut Beckham. She made her money 10 years ago and since Spice Girls, hasn’t done shit and by shit I mean have 5 babies. The difference between me and Beckham is that I am 300 lbs, mexican, poor and unaccomplished, but other than that, we’re kinda the same person. That’s the story I heard. Now go fuck yourself. Thanks in advance.

Bonus: Victoria Beckham with her Kids….and by Kids I Mean Tits

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Sometimes I wake up at 2 pm, fully clothed on the floor of my kitchen with salsa dried up on my face. Those are the days where I feel like this site is a huge waste of my fucking time, and I know you guys are annoyed of my bitching about how much I suck, but it’s kinda what I do. I am not depressed or hating on myself, I am just bored of this shit. There’s nothing happening, the site’s less popular than it was last year, I make no money, and I hate celebrity shit. I haven’t made out with Lohan or been invited to any celebrity parties. I emailed American Apparel once for an ad deal and they never returned my call.

Maybe that’s the problem, I am posting on shit I don’t care about, just trying to get traffic. But then, I sober up and realize, I really have nothing better to do with my time. Kinda like this slut Beckham. She made her money 10 years ago and since Spice Girls, hasn’t done shit and by shit I mean have 5 babies. The difference between me and Beckham is that I am 300 lbs, mexican, poor and unaccomplished, but other than that, we’re kinda the same person. That’s the story I heard. Now go fuck yourself. Thanks in advance.

Bonus: Victoria Beckham with her Kids….and by Kids I Mean Tits

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