I was sitting at a coffee shop last night, drinking my free coffee, because I told the guy who works there that I am a big time producer and that I liked his look. He overlooks the fact that I stink of urine and mustard and gives me 5 dollar latte after 5 dollar latte. I figure that I can keep the lie going until he quits for a job at the trendy coffee shop downtown, at which point I will tell the new hire that I am a bigtime fashion photographer and that I like her look. Only I will get her to pose topless in the back alley covered in foamy milk while eating a biscotti or whatever those long gay bread cookies are called.

Anyway, I am sitting with this bitch and she gets to talking about how to seduce a girl. How it’s nice to be chased, but that they don’t want the chase to be too aggressive and I said that if I wasn’t married, I’d just pretend every bitch I was running after was Hillary Duff. This mind game would make me never call them or return their calls and when they run into you again, they will think something is wrong with them and that is why you never called back. Next thing you know, bitch is shoving your shoe in her cunt while your bangin her ass.

Point of the story is that Hillary Duff is DUFFgusting (that one’s for Trerez Pinilton) and women like to be ignored.

Bonus Hilary Duff Leaving Her Hotel (if you can really call that a bonus)

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Having little to no penis ability, I find myself going down on my wife everytime we are “intimate”, which is about once every 6 months or less if I have anything to say about it. Now I don’t want to offend you, cuz I know the only pussy you have ever landed was from the fat girl who worked at your local Dairy Queen, and you only did it because you wondered what a pussy looked like in person. But also in hopes landing an endless amount of free chocolate ice cream for the summer. Chocolate is your favorite, that’s what daddy used to give you before “bathtime (codeword for MOLESTATION time)”.

The thing you didn’t realize when you were fucking her was that she had an endless supply of chocolate sauce too, and it ended up all over your motherfucking bed. The other thing you didn’t realize is that she was hired by some work program for retards, to help integrate with society and those free ice creams never came. The retards always have a handler working the cash for them but that didn’t stop you from making her your girlfriend.

If that didn’t make sense to you, it’s ok. I generally don’t make sense. These are pics of that alien looking cunt from American Pie all fat assed and shit. Hormonal changes in women is not always a bad thing, even when they look like LaTrice the fat black KFC girl with 34A cup titties and size “big and tall” jogging pants, cuz the Colonal’s been taking his toll on her booty.

Yes that was the N-Bomb. Cuddles.

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Having little to no penis ability, I find myself going down on my wife everytime we are “intimate”, which is about once every 6 months or less if I have anything to say about it. Now I don’t want to offend you, cuz I know the only pussy you have ever landed was from the fat girl who worked at your local Dairy Queen, and you only did it because you wondered what a pussy looked like in person. But also in hopes landing an endless amount of free chocolate ice cream for the summer. Chocolate is your favorite, that’s what daddy used to give you before “bathtime (codeword for MOLESTATION time)”.

The thing you didn’t realize when you were fucking her was that she had an endless supply of chocolate sauce too, and it ended up all over your motherfucking bed. The other thing you didn’t realize is that she was hired by some work program for retards, to help integrate with society and those free ice creams never came. The retards always have a handler working the cash for them but that didn’t stop you from making her your girlfriend.

If that didn’t make sense to you, it’s ok. I generally don’t make sense. These are pics of that alien looking cunt from American Pie all fat assed and shit. Hormonal changes in women is not always a bad thing, even when they look like LaTrice the fat black KFC girl with 34A cup titties and size “big and tall” jogging pants, cuz the Colonal’s been taking his toll on her booty.

Yes that was the N-Bomb. Cuddles.

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Some dude emailed me this:

Here are exclusive pictures of Victoria Silvstedt.
You can publish them on your blog.
You can’t find those pictures anywhere.

An hour later another blog forwarded the same email to me, saying this:

Don’t you like this chick? Someone sent these to me
don’t know if they are really “exclusive” or not but
thought maybe you would like them. Im not going to use
them.

That means that these pictures aren’t exclusive, some dude just felt the need to email everyone.

That dude’s email is miko dook

Point of the story is that I am posting them anyway, because I really have no interest in looking for content for you unappreciative little cunts. I stopped by Trerez Pinkhilton’s site and motherfuckers get 500 comments a post, I get 10 and I am way fucking cooler than they are.

It’s pretty fucking discouraging, I blame the fact that I had friends in highschool and the fact that I wasn’t stuck in the lunchroom with the fat girls and little Jenny with red hair and braces who still hasn’t hit puberty and is 25 now……but I could be wrong, maybe having the hottest site no one has ever heard of on the internet is really just a huge waste of fucking time. Tell your fucking friends.

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Some dude emailed me this:

Here are exclusive pictures of Victoria Silvstedt.
You can publish them on your blog.
You can’t find those pictures anywhere.

An hour later another blog forwarded the same email to me, saying this:

Don’t you like this chick? Someone sent these to me
don’t know if they are really “exclusive” or not but
thought maybe you would like them. Im not going to use
them.

That means that these pictures aren’t exclusive, some dude just felt the need to email everyone.

That dude’s email is miko dook

Point of the story is that I am posting them anyway, because I really have no interest in looking for content for you unappreciative little cunts. I stopped by Trerez Pinkhilton’s site and motherfuckers get 500 comments a post, I get 10 and I am way fucking cooler than they are.

It’s pretty fucking discouraging, I blame the fact that I had friends in highschool and the fact that I wasn’t stuck in the lunchroom with the fat girls and little Jenny with red hair and braces who still hasn’t hit puberty and is 25 now……but I could be wrong, maybe having the hottest site no one has ever heard of on the internet is really just a huge waste of fucking time. Tell your fucking friends.

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These two are both from Canada. Canada is a small useless country. In Canada, everyone is related, like the Jews. That is why Avril and her boyfriend look the same. They have the same parents. There’s nothing wrong with a little incest, that’s what Doctor Phil said last month when 2 cousins were slamming each other raw dog styles and were scared of having a flipper baby.

But that’s not the point, the point is that the first porno I ever saw was an incest porn. It was called Sharon and had amazing jokes. While the dad was fucking the younger daughter he’d drop lines like “Here’s the stuff that made you going back in you” and “you sure didn’t learn from your mother” and “Cum in her ass Leroy, I don’t want no bastard GRANDCHILDREN”. I guess the real comedy was that the older sister was jealous that daddy wasn’t molesting her.

Either way, here are pics of the boring incest Canadian couple of the day, cuz I got nothing better to post. Go fuck yourself.

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Kate Moss is a whore. But not as much of a whore as the bitch I saw in a wheelchair, she had 2 kids, which means some sick fuck is banging her numb cooch. I always wondered what kind of person fucks a paraplegic, is it the same kind of person who bangs dead people or is it some guy who has trouble mackin’ bitches and the one in a chair is easy pickings, even easier than the fat girl in the bar at the end of the night. I guess it could also be the kind of guy who was wronged by so many bitches that he doesn’t want this one to run away or even a dude who married his highschool sweetheart, then bitch had to go and get herself in a car wreck, forcing him to stick it out with her.

I am sure sex with a “chair” would be hot, I wouldn’t get enough of an unresponsive limbs all dangling all over the place like they have a mind of their own. Point of the story is Kate Moss has legs that work. Cuddles and tell your fucking friends.

Bonus – Kate Moss Behind Glass

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There are times when I feel I should post something to make all you useless fucks feel better about your useless selves. So here it is. Be happy you aren’t a piece of shit 16 year old UK slut with disgusting tits, teeth and style, rocking out in a fountain for your shitty “football team”.I know we have all fucked up in our lives but we ain’t got shit on where these motherfuckers are going to end up. I wrote this post in 6 mins. Tell X-Tina’s retarded brother I want his motherfucking medal.

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Here are a couple of pictures from Jessica Simpson’s new video starring Christina Applegate, Christina Milian and Eva Longoria. Bitch is calling on all the favors to try take back the spotlight from her useless sister. Jessica Simpson is the kind of girl who developed a complex when her dad was molesting Ashlee instead of her. She’d be in her room, with her ear to the wall listening to her daddy’s grunts and Ashlee’s moans, while tears rolled down her cheek, because she felt inadequate. It’s all good Jessica, I feel inadequate all the time, it’s called E.D., that means I can’t get it up. Sometimes I even try jerking off with sandpaper, hoping the pain will make it move. It doesn’t. Thanks for reading, tell your friends.

UPDATE: TMZ Has a Behind the Scene’s Video of this Video

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