I am posting these because she lost American Idol yesterday, and I put myself through the hell that was watching the finale. It was mainly because I only have one channel, the Oprah, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol channel, but I am not making excuses. I am also not going to write about how the show was a promotional tool to sell tickets for their upcoming tour. I am also not going to go into why all these musicians were on the show singing duets with the Idols, other than a publicity stunt. The last time I heard both LIVE and MEATLOAF was in 1990. I will mention that Clay Aiken looks like Fall Out Boy, I guess that’s the new look in the gay scene, or the look in the emo scene to mask one’s sexuality…his duet was jokes, mainly because there are other red-headed faggots who sing out there. I thought he came himself when Aiken showed up, I have a feeling they fucked after the show, like Sonny and Cher used to…I guess other than that, the highlight of the show was McPhee’s Cleavage. Cleavage is one of those things I can always fall back on to make anything good. I came from an era where cleavage was taboo and bitches rocked turtlenecks, so it would still get me hard, provided I could get hard….First post of the day, and I was as painful to write as it was to read. Cuddles.

Bonus – Watch Clay Aiken and His Boyfriend Sing

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I am posting these because she lost American Idol yesterday, and I put myself through the hell that was watching the finale. It was mainly because I only have one channel, the Oprah, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol channel, but I am not making excuses. I am also not going to write about how the show was a promotional tool to sell tickets for their upcoming tour. I am also not going to go into why all these musicians were on the show singing duets with the Idols, other than a publicity stunt. The last time I heard both LIVE and MEATLOAF was in 1990. I will mention that Clay Aiken looks like Fall Out Boy, I guess that’s the new look in the gay scene, or the look in the emo scene to mask one’s sexuality…his duet was jokes, mainly because there are other red-headed faggots who sing out there. I thought he came himself when Aiken showed up, I have a feeling they fucked after the show, like Sonny and Cher used to…I guess other than that, the highlight of the show was McPhee’s Cleavage. Cleavage is one of those things I can always fall back on to make anything good. I came from an era where cleavage was taboo and bitches rocked turtlenecks, so it would still get me hard, provided I could get hard….First post of the day, and I was as painful to write as it was to read. Cuddles.

Bonus – Watch Clay Aiken and His Boyfriend Sing

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Taylor Hicks won American Idol. I’d like to say that Katherine McPhee had great tits. Yes, I know she’s chubby. I’d also like to say hello to my Mexican Internet girlfriend and her fake boyfriend. She’s not so chubby. I’d also like to send a shout out to DrunkenStepSteve for his daily email none of you get.

If you have any links send them in…..here are links I found.

Girl Getting Naked in the Club
Britney When We Wanted to Bang Her (I still do…)
She’s Naked and Posing and So Am I (she is hotter than me…)
Borat Recreating That Famous Internet Picture (I hate Borat)
Last Year Sophie Marceau Had a Nip Slip
Christina Aguilera is Drunk and has a Nice Rack
Elena Santarelli: The most beautiful girl in the world! (I like nipple)
Wives Heaven: a New Sexy Site(I like Sexy Sites)
Girls Stripping Video(I like Strippers)
Howard Stern Measures Tits
Topless Oil Wrestling is Not That Hot

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This is the girl that is in that show Veronica Mars. I have never seen the show, but would start if she wore this outfit while playing with a dog the whole time. She was named one of the sexiest vegetarians of the year. That means she doesn’t eat meat, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t eat my meat. That was a bad vegetarian joke that just ruined this post, but it’s okay, I am sure it has ruined many dates involving a dinner and a hot girl who is doesn’t eat meat and a jock trying to be funny and get in her pants. You know the “Hey Baby, i hope you eat my meat”….. That’s where this vegetarian discussion ends.

I went to my nutritionist today, yes I have a nutritionist because I am fat and have liver problems from drinking, and she helps make me a menu that I never follow, but that’s not the point, point is that on the way, I saw a fat highschool girl eating a KFC burger at 2:30 PM. She was waiting for the bus. It was obvious that she had already eaten breakfast, lunch and now this KFC burger was a pre-going home snack, only to go home to eat another snack and then maybe dinner and dessert…..and another snack before bed. I had something funny to say about that, but completely forget what it was. So I guess I’ll just end this post now.

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This is the girl that is in that show Veronica Mars. I have never seen the show, but would start if she wore this outfit while playing with a dog the whole time. She was named one of the sexiest vegetarians of the year. That means she doesn’t eat meat, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t eat my meat. That was a bad vegetarian joke that just ruined this post, but it’s okay, I am sure it has ruined many dates involving a dinner and a hot girl who is doesn’t eat meat and a jock trying to be funny and get in her pants. You know the “Hey Baby, i hope you eat my meat”….. That’s where this vegetarian discussion ends.

I went to my nutritionist today, yes I have a nutritionist because I am fat and have liver problems from drinking, and she helps make me a menu that I never follow, but that’s not the point, point is that on the way, I saw a fat highschool girl eating a KFC burger at 2:30 PM. She was waiting for the bus. It was obvious that she had already eaten breakfast, lunch and now this KFC burger was a pre-going home snack, only to go home to eat another snack and then maybe dinner and dessert…..and another snack before bed. I had something funny to say about that, but completely forget what it was. So I guess I’ll just end this post now.

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You are supposed to look at a girl’s mother before marrying the girl and that is because the girl will always end up looking like her mother, unless she takes serious measures to prevent it. I remember I dated a girl whose mother had the worst set of cankles I had ever seen, and I fucking hate cankles so I dropped the bitch. I also dated another girl whose mother was a fat lazy cookie eating slob and realized that this bomb hot girl I was with would end up getting comfortable enough to spend her day eating cookies. I know there’s not proof behind this theory, but by looking at Goldie and her daughter, there are insane simalarities. Point of all this is to say that Goldie works out and takes care of herself and still looks like an ex hooker, meaning Kate Hudson will probably look worse. That was great insight. I hope it helps you with your day. Asshole.

Here are the pics of Kate Hudson, Goldie’s daughter….

***Note, the lesbian’s shirt is supposed to say Pussy, not Greens….

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You are supposed to look at a girl’s mother before marrying the girl and that is because the girl will always end up looking like her mother, unless she takes serious measures to prevent it. I remember I dated a girl whose mother had the worst set of cankles I had ever seen, and I fucking hate cankles so I dropped the bitch. I also dated another girl whose mother was a fat lazy cookie eating slob and realized that this bomb hot girl I was with would end up getting comfortable enough to spend her day eating cookies. I know there’s not proof behind this theory, but by looking at Goldie and her daughter, there are insane simalarities. Point of all this is to say that Goldie works out and takes care of herself and still looks like an ex hooker, meaning Kate Hudson will probably look worse. That was great insight. I hope it helps you with your day. Asshole.

Here are the pics of Kate Hudson, Goldie’s daughter….

***Note, the lesbian’s shirt is supposed to say Pussy, not Greens….

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I was one of those guys who never went to college. i don’t even think I finished highschool, but I would never admit that because I bought a GED off the internet so that I could apply for amazing jobs at the local Wal Mart. I want to let everyone know that me not finishing my GED had nothing to do with being Mexican, a lot of new readers haven’t read my memoir, and by memoir I mean archive of posts, because anyone who has would know I was taken out of Mexico when I was really young, and I was raised by psycho bible thumping white ppl from Texas. So stop sending the hate mail in. Anyway, throughout my 20s I was always at the college bars, because beer was cheap, girls were hot and easy and I liked pretending I was on the Football team while doing bump of crystal off their tits. Point of the story is that most girls fall out of that scene by the time they are 23. They go on to live normal lives and forget the herpe inducing drunken and high raw dog sessions that took place in the bathroom off the bar. Tara Reid is one of those girls who hasn’t moved on and her face looks like it has been shit on.

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I am convinced that all of you guys who have actually got laid, have gone home with disgusting girls in your life. You know the kind you don’t want anyone you know to find out about, but for some reason everytime you do it, your buddies show up a 10 am to go out for breakfast or some shit, only to find you snuggled up to last week’s kitchen garbage of a girl. I would say the same thing about the girls who read this site, but those girls are the same fat chicks you guys are draggin’ home. I went through a phase years ago, where I would only bang ugly bitches, it was a sort of science experiment to see if “The Batch” from not getting pussy was more of a repellent to other chicks than the fact that I was rubbing up on all the “2’s” in the club….I never came to any conclusion, but I did get a male yeast infection out of it. Point of the story is that Kelly Osborne looks like last weeks kitchen garbage that she snuck up to her room and has been snackin on, like the ditch pig (of the day she is)….That’s my story.

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I am not a fashionista. I am pretty sure that anyone who reads this on the regular knows that. I don’t know anything about it and even if I did, I couldn’t afford to dress stylish. I have the everyday outfit that consists of a pair of royal blue jogging pants and a scrappy t-shirt that I have had for about 9 years, I got it for 2 dollars and it still looks great, even though it’s stained. I have a going to court outfit that is a pair of grey pants and a white shirt, red tie, and grey blazer. I look like a security guard from 1976 and it’s never got me off the crime. I have velcro shoes I got for 8 dollars and a winter jacket and about 10 construction plaid shirt I got at home depot of 10 dollars each…That’s really the extent of my closet. Now all the dudes reading this, I know you couldn’t care less about what I wear, and you are probably asking yourself if I have turned poofter on you. I haven’t, I was just proving a point. Now, I have been going to the strippers for MANY years, but a lot more often in recent weeks, for whatever reason. I have fallen in love twice, seen a girl insert four fingers in her babyhole and spent a lot of money that I don’t have. One of the career strippers there, that’s the kind with retarded implants and stripper outfits wears a pair of booty shorts and knee high chaps, which are like a hybrid leg warmer- pant. What they end up looking like is a space uniform from planet touch my tits for 10 dollars. Kimmy Stewarts boots are rockin’ the same vibe….only problem is she got her tits removed a couple of years ago. Good one Kimmy, you fucking dirtbag.

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