No one talks about Cameron Diaz anymore. So I am not going to either. Because I hate this cunt more than I hate myself, and according to Oprah, that’s a lot. I am going to talk about her mom and the fact that her teeth are fucking retarded. You would think that her cunt of a daughter would have the decency to buy her a new set of teeth. I watch Extreme Makeover, or watched it when I could afford cable, and I have seen the wonders they can do to a set of teeth. I know Cameron is pretty useless, but that Charlie Angel’s shit had to have made her enough coin to afford the procedure. I am not an authority on dental hygiene, I have gone months without brushing, I have gone years without seeing a dentist, I have chewed on pieced on pebbles just to see what happens. I also had a bit of a Meth problem a few years ago and that shit rots out teeth…so this mouth is one that you’d probably avoid if you saw it walking down the street, a lot like Cameron Diaz’s moms’, and by Cameron Diaz’s Mom I mean Toni Collette.

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And by AIDS I mean Myspace, because I have never met her, so I can’t be sure if she stinks of AIDS or just dirty hipster. She’s the girl that was a washed up model by the time she was 18, she was naked in Bully when she was 21 and was rockin’ a solid bush. She dated fellow loser kid of a musician….Sean Lennon. I remember a couple of years ago she was dominating the coked out dirty hipster scene in NYC… I wasn’t there to take part in it because I don’t have a trust fund, acting career, modelling career or style. I have posted her tits before, if you want to see them just do a google image search. In the meantime add her and her current boyfriend to myspace. This was a weak fuckin’ post, but it’s Friday, so Fuck You.

Bonus:

Visit Bijou Phillips on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

Bonus Number 2:

Visit Danny Masterson on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

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And by AIDS I mean Myspace, because I have never met her, so I can’t be sure if she stinks of AIDS or just dirty hipster. She’s the girl that was a washed up model by the time she was 18, she was naked in Bully when she was 21 and was rockin’ a solid bush. She dated fellow loser kid of a musician….Sean Lennon. I remember a couple of years ago she was dominating the coked out dirty hipster scene in NYC… I wasn’t there to take part in it because I don’t have a trust fund, acting career, modelling career or style. I have posted her tits before, if you want to see them just do a google image search. In the meantime add her and her current boyfriend to myspace. This was a weak fuckin’ post, but it’s Friday, so Fuck You.

Bonus:

Visit Bijou Phillips on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

Bonus Number 2:

Visit Danny Masterson on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

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I think Victoria’s Secret has done an amazing job of hiring some of the hottest women in the world to wear their lingerie for them. I am assuming this Karolina Kurkova slut is some kind of communist, while Lima and Gisele are hot tribal Brazilian bitches. Either way, Lima is the hottest out of the three hands down, and I’d be rockin’ a Lima stalker post if there was enough dirt on her on the net, which there isn’t. I’ve looked.

When I was young I had this crazy thought that I would end up with a Bikini/Lingerie model. This was before there was a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and before I realized that I was destined for failure. These kinds of girls only like fat guys with a lot of money, and in the event you haven’t realized, I am not that guy. I still wear jogging pants I got at the Salvation Army 9 years ago. I am not trying to depress you. I am okay my life. I have accepted that my wife is a fat whore who can’t wear a bikini or lingerie because they don’t make them in her size. It’s criminal (her size, not the fact they don’t make lingerie for REALLY big girls).

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I think Victoria’s Secret has done an amazing job of hiring some of the hottest women in the world to wear their lingerie for them. I am assuming this Karolina Kurkova slut is some kind of communist, while Lima and Gisele are hot tribal Brazilian bitches. Either way, Lima is the hottest out of the three hands down, and I’d be rockin’ a Lima stalker post if there was enough dirt on her on the net, which there isn’t. I’ve looked.

When I was young I had this crazy thought that I would end up with a Bikini/Lingerie model. This was before there was a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and before I realized that I was destined for failure. These kinds of girls only like fat guys with a lot of money, and in the event you haven’t realized, I am not that guy. I still wear jogging pants I got at the Salvation Army 9 years ago. I am not trying to depress you. I am okay my life. I have accepted that my wife is a fat whore who can’t wear a bikini or lingerie because they don’t make them in her size. It’s criminal (her size, not the fact they don’t make lingerie for REALLY big girls).

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The other day, I was sitting in a park. The reason I was sitting in the park, was because it is free and on a good day girls tan in bikinis. I like free because I am ghetto and I like bikinis because I am perverted. If you have pictures of you or any girls you know in bikinis, feel free to send them into me because Bikinis are my crack.

Anyway, I am in the park and I saw some bitch walking her cat and I found it really weird because dogs are made for walking, while cats are made for eating, if you are ALF or Chinese. I want to make fun of her/criticize her, but according to Oprah (yes I am watching Oprah right now, I went over this in the Beyonce post), criticizing her would mean I hate myself. I guess I didn’t really need Oprah to tell me that I hate myself, I was pretty aware of it and it was the cause of 3 drug overdoses, thanks O! She also said that people who Gossip, Drink, Smoke, Eat/Starve themselves, have unprotected sex, all have the same self-hatred psychological disorder. I know most of the people reading this site are virgins and are more into masturbation than unprotected sex, but it’s not by choice, so you probably hate yourself too….Either way, this woman is walking her cat, and that is fucking weird.

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I am not racist. By being a Mexican, I am lower on the socio-economic scale than black people. It would be wrong for me to make black jokes even though they are funny. There’s actually a epidemic in the USA right now, according to Oprah (yes I watch Oprah…everyday….), that black youth think the only thing they are capable of is being in life is rappers. So if they can’t rap, their lives are fucked. So they turn to a life of crime so that they can pay for the ice that they’re flossin’.

Point of the story is that this is what two successful black people do, once they’ve made it. They sit at a fuckin pool and relax all day. I want to sit at a pool, with a computer and an expensive girlfriend, so I have decided that I want to be a rapper too. Look out for my first single, coming out soon. Only problem is that I can’t rap, maybe I’ll just sit here instead. That dream was short lived, but pretty glamourous, admit it.

Bonus: Jay Z and Beyonce Walking out of Somewhere, Probably the Probation Office….

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I am not racist. By being a Mexican, I am lower on the socio-economic scale than black people. It would be wrong for me to make black jokes even though they are funny. There’s actually a epidemic in the USA right now, according to Oprah (yes I watch Oprah…everyday….), that black youth think the only thing they are capable of is being in life is rappers. So if they can’t rap, their lives are fucked. So they turn to a life of crime so that they can pay for the ice that they’re flossin’.

Point of the story is that this is what two successful black people do, once they’ve made it. They sit at a fuckin pool and relax all day. I want to sit at a pool, with a computer and an expensive girlfriend, so I have decided that I want to be a rapper too. Look out for my first single, coming out soon. Only problem is that I can’t rap, maybe I’ll just sit here instead. That dream was short lived, but pretty glamourous, admit it.

Bonus: Jay Z and Beyonce Walking out of Somewhere, Probably the Probation Office….

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I don’t know where these pics are from. I am thinking from a major men’s magazine who is going to send me a cease and desist letter, even though I am friends with the CEO.

I didn’t know who Carmit was either, so I did a little Wikipedia search….

Born in Los Angeles, California, with a cleft lip/palate, she is of Israeli/Chinese and Dutch/Indonesian descent and comes from a family of entertainers. Her mother was a dance teacher and her father danced and even once worked with Marcel Marceau. She competed internationally as a rhythmic gymnast for 10 years, and placed 5th in the Olympic trials in 1992, she even went on to compete in the Gymnastics World Championships. During her career competing on the National Team, she attended Hamilton Academy of Music in Los Angeles, studying music, dance, and also piano and viola.

They forgot to mention she was born with a penis, and has just completed her sex change, these pics are a celebration of her move into womanhood. It’s like when a 12 year old girl gets her period, and her mom takes her to the mall. I remember when I went through a phase where I only banged chicks when they were on their period. I was “THAT” guy. I didn’t do it cuz I liked it, I did it in protest to all the men out there who make their bitches give them head while their bleeding and refuse to go under the pantes. , I was like “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK”, so I made a bet with a guy in a bar after a few too many Scotch and Sodas, and by Scotch I mean rubbing alcohol. Anyway, I bet that I only have period sex for a month, but I liked it so much that I did it for 6, good thing only 2 chicks were drunk enough to bang me in those 6 months.
Anyway, there’s something sexy about looking at your bed after banging and having it look like a murder scene…who am I kidding, I don’t have a bed, and period sex is gross, keep it in your menstrual cup, you fucking hippy dyke bitch.

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This bitch was the model for the videogame Tomb Raider, she’s the body they based Lara Croft on before Angelina played her in the movie. She was fired from the Tomb Raider job because she posed for Playboy. Naked is a pretty hot reason to get fired for any job, except when it is for Playboy, because they fuckin’ suck. Anyway, 7 years later, she’s knocked up like the loser girl in your highschool that no one noticed until word got around that she was pregnant, then everyone wanted a piece because we knew she put out, would let you raw dog her cuz you couldn’t knock her up since she already was carrying and her tits got huge. I remember when my eldest stepdaughter got knocked up, we put the baby up for adoption so if you are reading this little Marty, your drunken stepfather misses you, but that’s not the point, the point is that her tits got all full of milk, and that saved the family lots of money on dairy products, we would make our own. I think we had her tapped like a cow in a dairy for for about a year, before her school social worker told us we had to stop farming our children, and ended our experiment. Thanks Mrs Clancy..hope you’re happy now that my wife’s got Calcium deficency, you cunt.

Now look at the motherfucking pics.

Bonus:
To see some hot non-pregnant pics of this slag click on this link

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