Looks like this cheap album cover was made by some drunken mexican design firm for 2 pesos and a pack of smokes. This low budget piece of shit album artwork is probably all this band can afford, being useless for the last 10 years has an impacr on what’s left in the bank account.

The reason I know it’s mexican-made is because of the avacado, we live off these things, because they grow for free in our backyards, and by backyard I mean, on the tree my shanty leans up against….the avacado is a very vaginal and I whenever I eat guacamole, I have this urge to fuck…the guacamole….Either way, I always forget that Pearl Jam is still alive. I have always had this fantasy that Cobain pulled a murder/suicide and brought the grunge scene down with him…I was unfortunately wrong….I am going to take a shit in my bathtub and roll around in it, just to wash the dirty off of me, and yes, my shit is cleaner than this shit….that may not make sense to you, but it does to me, so go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

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Guest writer: Kelly Knowlton
Having been recently molested by JM, I’m having a hard time focusing, he is that bad. I don’t know but girls I think I am already developing a rash … good news is that Brit’s tongue could clearly do a job on JM that I couldn’t,because I am useless. I say it was for fear of losing my burrito. But it was really for fear of incompetence. WTF? No wonder K-Fed is still around with this Britney bitch,, it’s not for the cash, it’s for the BLOW JOBS BITCHES!! Her tongue is so massive I think I just shit myself and I’m a chick. Show me your titties!! Kelly and Brit sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g…I am kelly by the way you fucking short attention span cocksucker. What? I’d kiss it. I’d lick it, I’d even teach it how to dance, even though it’s showered once a month.

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It’s a huge day for Rock and Republic. That whore Alba’s rockin a pair, and now Victoria Spice Beckham…..I expect my free pair in the mail, but they probably don’t make them in my size, because faggots who wear 400 dollar jeans usually don’t weigh 300 lbs. They have an image to protect and it’s fine with me because I am happy stickin’ to my jogging pants, they fit me proper and homeless people don’t ask you for change, they think you are one of them.

Point of the story is the Vicky Beckham’s got no ass, and that David Beckham hooked up with her, because she reminded him of a time when he discovered sex. A young “Footballer” back in England, in the shower after winning a big game.

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It’s a huge day for Rock and Republic. That whore Alba’s rockin a pair, and now Victoria Spice Beckham…..I expect my free pair in the mail, but they probably don’t make them in my size, because faggots who wear 400 dollar jeans usually don’t weigh 300 lbs. They have an image to protect and it’s fine with me because I am happy stickin’ to my jogging pants, they fit me proper and homeless people don’t ask you for change, they think you are one of them.

Point of the story is the Vicky Beckham’s got no ass, and that David Beckham hooked up with her, because she reminded him of a time when he discovered sex. A young “Footballer” back in England, in the shower after winning a big game.

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The thing I like about Kate Moss is her level of commitment. She has always been a hard worker in all kinds of glamorous magazine spreads. She has always been really skinny and even when criticized for it in the 90s by fat models, she stuck to her skinny and changed the face of fashion. Now all the bitches are skinny, and we don’t have to waste our time on some dumpy assed Cindy Crawford drinking a coke….when Kate Moss is in the bathroom railin’ a line…..Point of the story is that Kate Moss is so good, that I would love to have access to her panties, so that I could sniff them all day.

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The thing I like about Kate Moss is her level of commitment. She has always been a hard worker in all kinds of glamorous magazine spreads. She has always been really skinny and even when criticized for it in the 90s by fat models, she stuck to her skinny and changed the face of fashion. Now all the bitches are skinny, and we don’t have to waste our time on some dumpy assed Cindy Crawford drinking a coke….when Kate Moss is in the bathroom railin’ a line…..Point of the story is that Kate Moss is so good, that I would love to have access to her panties, so that I could sniff them all day.

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There is something really comforting in knowing what the outside of Alba’s house looks like. It’s kinda comforting in the way that I will collect cans for the next 6 months, picking them out of garbages and shit, to get my plane ticket to L.A., so that I can search the city over, with this picture in hand, looking for Alba’s home. I will find it eventually, and when I do, I will break in, run a nice bath, take a shit and greet her when she comes home, in nothing but a condom…I wear condoms instead of underwear, it’s cheaper. Either way, I think she’d really like that, and I would too….Alba….I know where you live and I am comin’ for you….CUDDLES.

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Some rappers are white, some rappers are black, some rappers are funny, some rappers are spirtual, some rappers are gay, some rappers are straight, some rappers are thugs, some rappers are artists, some rappers can dance, some rappers fuck mad bitches, some rappers hate white people, some rappers are rapists.

The rappers are rapists joke came from some douche who used to work at the canning factory with me. He was one of those guys who pretended to always get pussy and every morning we’d listen to his stories about how beautiful his cock is, and how every chick loves his cock and how good looking he is, but didn’t realize he worked in a fucking canning factory, and rode his bike to work, not his BMW….you see….you are only as good as your job. He got me fired for stealing beans to feed my family. I guess

I didn’t take enough time to find out who Prozack Turner is, but I did tell him I’d promote him, because I am nice and he sent me an exclusive song that I liked it.

DrunkenStepfahter Exclusive:

Listen To His Exclusive Adriana Sage Ballad

Additional Links:

Prozack Turner’s Myspace
Free Adriana Sage Galleries

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I think writing rude myspace messages to people is funny. Even if no one else is in on the fun with me, I’ll just write my smack and laugh to myself, because I am crazy like that. The fact that one message to someone I don’t know can make them despise me is funny. My whole person is determined by 5 stupid lines that I write and that’s fuckin’ jokes. It’s not that I get off on making people hate me, it’s that people take shit so seriously that I laugh.

This is a myspace message I wrote to some girl who called me a grouch and told me to fuck off….her name Booyakasha, because quoting Ali G isn’t played out yet….

Re: Cunt…

why don’t you learn how to have a little respect. If you want to be treated proper-like, you shouldn’t tell people to fuck off. that’s rude, and no one likes cunt who talks back, that’s how you get spousal abused. Know your role, do your make up, do the laundry and make babies, bitch.

Let’s cuddle.

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

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