There’s something amazing about small towns, and that something has to do with all the bored perverted hicks. They don’t know what the fuck to do with themselves except fuck the neighbor’s dog and videotape their wives getting facials from half the town, including your father, the highschool gym teacher and the police chief, because everyone is equally fucked up and you have all known each other from birth, it’s only natural to turn monotony into opportunity and that always comes in the form of town gangbangs with the local slut. The benefit of having a town that is only 2 hours outside of the “big” city is that there’s always one guy with the foresight to start something big, and in the case of Renfrew Canada, that came in the form of a Video Store/Sex Shop/Tanning Salon all under one roof. This shit is lateral expansion at it’s finest and if they ever opened a fish taco stand in the back, I could call this shit home.

Visit them at MovieMat

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It’s unfortunate, Christina Aguilera is engaged, which means that for all you fucking losers, you will never be able to pretend that you have a chance, based on these pictures I wouldn’t be so quick to think that though. This bitch obviously has low self esteem cuz her boyfriend doesn’t look human. He has more flaws than most ugly people, he looks like a fucking primate. I know most of you aren’t winning your local beauty pageants, and I know you don’t have the kind of money this cat has, even his shoes are made of platinum, but I still think you have a chance, and so does your mother. We are the only 2 people who see your inner beauty, but at least your mom gets her asshole eaten out for it…what the fuck have you done for me lately, momma’s boy.

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It’s unfortunate, Christina Aguilera is engaged, which means that for all you fucking losers, you will never be able to pretend that you have a chance, based on these pictures I wouldn’t be so quick to think that though. This bitch obviously has low self esteem cuz her boyfriend doesn’t look human. He has more flaws than most ugly people, he looks like a fucking primate. I know most of you aren’t winning your local beauty pageants, and I know you don’t have the kind of money this cat has, even his shoes are made of platinum, but I still think you have a chance, and so does your mother. We are the only 2 people who see your inner beauty, but at least your mom gets her asshole eaten out for it…what the fuck have you done for me lately, momma’s boy.

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Remember that fat chick who sat in the back of the class, she had no friends and she never got attention from the boys, even the fucking losers who were missing teeth, because bitch was that disgusting. She lacked the social skills needed to integrate, because not all ugly people are losers, but this bitch just couldn’t hack it. She grew up, didn’t go to college because her family couldn’t afford it, and lived with her overweight mother until she died from diabetes complications. So this bitch maintained, by working the cash and taking over her mother’s room, now lonlier and hurting on the inside more than ever. She waited and waited for Mr. Right to come along, she sat at her counter wishing that he would one day come in a sweep her off her feet after paying for his Air Compressor. Her fantasy never became a reality, so with her hard earned Walmart money, she put aside a little every week, eventually being able to afford the bottom of the line digital camera. She was horny one day, it happens to the best of us sometimes, especially when we are well over 30 and the closest we’ve ever been to the opposite sex is giving them their change. So one night, bitch sets up the camera, and brings her cat who doubles as her only surviving family member and her only friend, and get’s down to business in her Bill Cosby pyjamas….that’s where the bitch from highschool is today, this isn’t an E! True Hollywood story, but it could be if she wasn’t such a loser…..This is your life motherfucker, don’t end up like the crazy cat lady in these pictures.

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You ever wonder what happens when a brother and sister fuck and see the pregnancy through, not because they want to, but because they are too stupid to realize that brothers can knock up sisters, and one day when Betty Sue feels a like she’s got to doo harder than she’s ever had to thanks to eating too much BBQ ribs and coleslaw at the town fair, to her surprise, while sitting on the toilet in the communal outhouse, little Kletus falls out….reality comes crashing down…could it be Pa’s or was it brother Jed…anyway you get the idea and now here’s a picture to bring that point home. Brothers and Sisters should not fuck, and if they do, they need to abort, even if the welfare check doesn’t cover it, because trust me, the baby will end up like this.

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You know when your life hits rock bottom, your wife cheats on you with your best friend, the bank comes after you because you can’t make your credit card payments, immigration is on your fucking ass, they’ve almost tracked down where you are working under the table and where you live and motherfucker’s are knocking on your door. Have you hit rock bottom? Have you turned to the bottle, even though you were already on the bottle, and the bottle’s not taking away your pain? Where do you go from here. Well it seems like I have hit rock bottom, I’ve come to bring you posts and motherfucker’s have shut down my image hosting. Life is a mess, this is worse than having to fuck my wife after goin out for Mexican food, this is better than the time I got busted for selling acid to minors. You all heard about the guy who would give out “stickers” to little kids on the playground and how those stickers were actually acid, well that motherfucker was me. Now you know.

I haven’t figured out an solution to this problem, but as a broke and lazy hurtbag it won’t be easy, but I will have something up sooner than later and it will be better than it is now.

You just gotta believe baby.

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You know when your life hits rock bottom, your wife cheats on you with your best friend, the bank comes after you because you can’t make your credit card payments, immigration is on your fucking ass, they’ve almost tracked down where you are working under the table and where you live and motherfucker’s are knocking on your door. Have you hit rock bottom? Have you turned to the bottle, even though you were already on the bottle, and the bottle’s not taking away your pain? Where do you go from here. Well it seems like I have hit rock bottom, I’ve come to bring you posts and motherfucker’s have shut down my image hosting. Life is a mess, this is worse than having to fuck my wife after goin out for Mexican food, this is better than the time I got busted for selling acid to minors. You all heard about the guy who would give out “stickers” to little kids on the playground and how those stickers were actually acid, well that motherfucker was me. Now you know.

I haven’t figured out an solution to this problem, but as a broke and lazy hurtbag it won’t be easy, but I will have something up sooner than later and it will be better than it is now.

You just gotta believe baby.

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It’s hotter than a Mexican Prison during a gangbang in this motherfucker. The heat makes me lazy, as it does for most self-respecting Mexicans. So if anyone asks I am on vacation and if you never want to come back, I will always remember than night in Denver.

Keep in mind that it’s not the end of an era, it’s just the beginning.

And in the meantime check out the Emma Bunton See-Through, Uma Thurman in a Bikini, Pink picking a wedgie, Petra Nemcova on the runway topless. Also check out the fleshlight discussion board and LPSG….and as many amateur porn sites that you can, but most importantly send me in naked pics of your girlfriends. I know you’ve never actually had a girlfriend….but fucking pretend. Your sex life is embarassing.

See I am always hooking you up,

Cuddles,

Jesus

Remember you can always email me at info@drunkenstepfather.com

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So here’s the nipple picture all you motherfuckers have been looking for, I am not about to write a commentary on how nice nipples are to suck on, or how cool it is to not wear a bra, because no one really cares. I am also not going to write about how Mariah is a crackhead, her sister’s an official whore and how I have always thought she looked like a man. I am not going to use the word “wardrobe malfunction”, because I feel it is a term much like metrosexual, something I would never say because the losers in mainstream media coined it, and there is nothing cool about mainstream media, except for the anchor women, it’s nice to see how nicely women have integrated their species into society….that’s my post for the day…fuck you.

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I was talking to this 15 year old whore the other day while at the local pool. I like to go check out the scene, it’s summer and bathing suits make me happy. Anyway, this 15 year old bitch was rocking a one-piece bathing suit that her rich mom paid 400 dollars for. I don’t have a problem spending that kind of money on a bathing suit, if you’ve got it and the suit makes you look good, but I will admit I was a little under-dressed in my soiled jogging pant cut-offs. Anyway this 15 year old girl was telling me why she doesn’t wear bikinis, she claims that they are old news, I figure, what the fuck do I know, I like hot tits and a hot body, so the less it’s covered the better. I guess Kelly Clarkson, your American idol felt the same way, only today forgot to change out of it before her performance (if you can call it that). Bitch was like I will just throw on a pair of jeans and a bra and I look good. It’s not really something to freak out about, just remember she’s from Texas and it all makes sense. Point of this post is to say, I know this shit’s a stupid body suit, I did live through the 90s, sometimes surprised that I did, but I still saw my fair share – the one-piece bathing suit story was just to get you jealous that I know 15 year olds, you sick fuck. None of this changes the fact that Kelly Clarkson is a fat pig who should keep eating her bison burgers (the meat’s leaner)

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