I like how people like to date people of the same socio-economic class as them, it helps the relationship because you understand each other. In this case you know what it’s like to be disgustingly rich, capable of doing whatever it is that you want at anytime, without any questions asked. Mary Kate’s dating a Greek-Shipping heir, they are the hottest accessory in Hollywood. It doesn’t really matter, I don’t want to come across bitter of their situations, because I am not. I am jealous of their size difference, only because he seems like a massive greek man, and she looks like a tiny alien on a mission to take geological samples back to her home planet, not to mention that as a greek man he digs ass sex, and as an alien – she has no genitals…it’s a sad case of affairs, I guess I can relate to MK, I always feel guilty when I can’t get it up for my wife….not because she doesn’t have genitals (she has plenty of those) but because I can’t deliver what she needs. She’s fucking huge dude, if you saw her, you’ understand

After the jump Mary Kate desperate for Friends (like you)

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I don’t know what Ashlee’s doing, she’s taken the ugly 80s being cool thing to heart. I guess she missed the memo that 80s are not the 90s, she was probably at the doctor dealing with her acid reflux which is cool and I can relate. I am overweight and 35, acid reflux is our disease that isn’t a disease and I take offense to her trying to bite my motherfucking rhyme. So anyway, bitch is rocking the outfit she stole from the bitch who played Six on Blossom, and although she was the first pre-teen i remember having tits on TV, she’s not someone you want to emulate…those were the dark years, 1991, I was living on a bench rockin the pipe and fucking inuit whores, but shit, when I always made it to a TV to watch Blossom.

Six’s Official Site

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It’s a fact, ironic t-shirts are fucking everywhere and I hate them, they do not make you hip or urban, they actually advertise to the world that you are in fact a fucking loser. Nothing screams “I am on the football team, I rock beer bongs and I like watching my buddies Shower and I started doing coke a few months ago cuz it’s all the rage” more than a shirt that says “Mexcellent”. I am not saying that they are gay, I am saying that they are obnoxious and usually the people rocking these things are the people spilling beer all over themselves in the bar as they put on a sketch comedy routine reminiscant of every bad comedy you have seen, I assume it is all in efforts to get laid because their shirt says “Trust me I am a Doctor”, motherfucker, I don’t care how much of a laugh you got in the store, or while you were watching Dodgeball and I really don’t care about how socially inept you are that you insist on embarassing youself to fit in and get noticed, but the only pussy you’ll be hooking up tonight will be from some slut just as drunk as you. Britney is rocking a shirt that says she’s got the golden ticket with an arrow pointing down, I assume she’s making reference to K-Fed’s dirty cumshot that she calls the parasite in her rotting womb and not to her box, because we all know that shit’s not golden, it is probably secreting some pretty interesting shit right now. I guess I shouldn’t expect more from a white trash southern whore, it’s hard not being obnoxious when it’s all you really know. RESPECT.

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It’s a fact, ironic t-shirts are fucking everywhere and I hate them, they do not make you hip or urban, they actually advertise to the world that you are in fact a fucking loser. Nothing screams “I am on the football team, I rock beer bongs and I like watching my buddies Shower and I started doing coke a few months ago cuz it’s all the rage” more than a shirt that says “Mexcellent”. I am not saying that they are gay, I am saying that they are obnoxious and usually the people rocking these things are the people spilling beer all over themselves in the bar as they put on a sketch comedy routine reminiscant of every bad comedy you have seen, I assume it is all in efforts to get laid because their shirt says “Trust me I am a Doctor”, motherfucker, I don’t care how much of a laugh you got in the store, or while you were watching Dodgeball and I really don’t care about how socially inept you are that you insist on embarassing youself to fit in and get noticed, but the only pussy you’ll be hooking up tonight will be from some slut just as drunk as you. Britney is rocking a shirt that says she’s got the golden ticket with an arrow pointing down, I assume she’s making reference to K-Fed’s dirty cumshot that she calls the parasite in her rotting womb and not to her box, because we all know that shit’s not golden, it is probably secreting some pretty interesting shit right now. I guess I shouldn’t expect more from a white trash southern whore, it’s hard not being obnoxious when it’s all you really know. RESPECT.

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You know him as Spock from Star Trek, as you should, considering you haven’t really done anything on social since the last convention, you’re an internet geek, and we wouldn’t want you to change your ways. There is nothing wrong with living with your mom, until she dies and never tasting pussy. Just be happy you will always have the re-runs. The good thing about Spock is that he’s moved from Star Trek and now takes pictures of naked fat girls, take his lead motherfucker. I am a little offended that he didn’t ask me to get my wife to model for him, but I guess she’s just too fat…discrimination comes from all angles.

Speaking of Fat check out Playette, she’s a whore.

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As all the other celebs fall apart at the seam, get knocked up with white trash babies, release sex tapes, do mass amounts of drugs and jump off hotel balconies into pools, suck dick for jobs and waste away with diet pills, Christina Aguilera, the girl we all thought would have her cooch all up on the internet 3 years ago – maintains her shit. She’s rockin out at some fashion show, too exclusive for you, and she’s looking good. See I am not all bad.

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The amazing thing about doing porn is that you can make any fantasy happen, as long as you’ve got enough money. There is always a girl somewhere desperate enough to suck you off, even if you weigh in at 300 pounds. I don’t know how much this dude paid these bitches, but I do know where he found them, and that is at the bus station. These teen runaways were hungry and dude offered them a warm meal and a shower. That’s my story and I know you are happy that I didn’t say all women were whores, because everyone’s got a price.

watch clips here

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I don’t know who this bitch really is, other than Rod Stewart’s slutty daughter. She’s rockin the L.A. coke scene harder than your cock, pervert, and she loves the fucking camera. She actually follows the papparazzi around in efforts to get them to notice her. She probably figures the more media coverage she gets, the more likely she will become an actual b-lister. I guess before releasing the gangbang sex tape, bitch is testing the water by rockin a bikini. I like that pun, I should say no pun intended because every shitty newspaper writes that whenever there’s a pun and it isn’t obnoxious in the least. I always find it funny that no matter how skinny a girl gets, she can never really get rid of her cellulite. That’s the shitty thing about the diet-pill coke diet. I have enough flappy pussy in my life at home, it would be nice if my internet experience was a little more in shape. Jerks.

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When the majority of your career involves sucking rockstar cock, contracting hepatitis and running around in a bathing suit it’s hard to turn off the slut, it’s what makes you who you are. I thought it was nice to post a few pictures reminiscent of Pam’s baywatch days, a silcone bitch running may not be your favorite thing, but I tend to park outside strip clubs to watch the girls running into work, you know, late for their shifts, trying to get there on time, because even though getting drunk and naked is their gig, they still possess a certain work ethic. I have spent many nights with strippers, and when you show them a little cash, they are the hardest group of people out there.

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When the majority of your career involves sucking rockstar cock, contracting hepatitis and running around in a bathing suit it’s hard to turn off the slut, it’s what makes you who you are. I thought it was nice to post a few pictures reminiscent of Pam’s baywatch days, a silcone bitch running may not be your favorite thing, but I tend to park outside strip clubs to watch the girls running into work, you know, late for their shifts, trying to get there on time, because even though getting drunk and naked is their gig, they still possess a certain work ethic. I have spent many nights with strippers, and when you show them a little cash, they are the hardest group of people out there.

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