Greek people know shipping, and lucky for Paris Hilton’s fiance, daddy knew it well, leaving him a trust fund that allows her to see past his dirty greek looks and his afinity for fucking little boys up the ass. It’s true, all Greek people like anal sex, it’s not just a stereotype, and rumor has it that this motherfucker hasn’t even entered Paris’ babyhole, he’s been only doing it batty-styles. Point of the story is that Paris’ trust fund isn’t as big as the media makes it out to be, the Greek dude is rich enough to support her lavish lifestyle, and if she’s lucky, maybe he will get drunk enough and actual venture into the place many men have been before, I am talking about her pussy….once knocked up, Paris will find have a man to pay her way, still a daddy not hers, her baby’s get it! It all makes sense in my dirty mexican head. I remember fucking some bitch who wanted me to get her all knocked up and shit, she thought it would be her way to live the lazy life. I guess that’s what I get for not telling her the truth and that my lavish hotel room was really a park bench. Girls can be so dumb sometimes.

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The digital camera and the internet has made getting your highschool sweetheart naked a lot fucking easier than when I was your age. All these girls see so much fucking porn, from such a young age that they are so much more sexed up than the girls were in my time. I am all for light denim, high-waisted jeans that make an ass look massive, but things are a little hotter now than they ever were. This includes girls being comfortable with their bodies and getting pics taken of themselves, not always a good thing, I am talking to you fatty, but you take the good with the bad…shit that’s like the theme song to “The Facts of Life”. Anyway – I came across a gallery of pics of ex girlfriends/or teen girls naked or semi-naked and I figured that you’d want to check it out. I always hook a brotha up….

Now check the gallery Here

If you have any pics you want featured on this site – send them my way!

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I know a floral button-up top that looks like it’s from K-Mart is supposed to make a bitch look all innocent, like a kindergarten teacher, but once a whore always a whore and there aint enough floral print button-up tops from K-Mart to change that. So what better way to embrace your journey into whoredom than to take it to it’s motherfucking roots. That means a back alley. Don’t deny you wonder how much the whores working the streets charge for a back alley blowjob, well when you are Brandon Davis (whoever the fuck that is) it’s free, but you gotta date the whore first….all this to say that if you look hard enough you can find yourself a back alley lovin for a pack of smokes, 20 dollars of crack and a canned good.

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Bam’s ex-girlfriend, the one who he has a sex tape with, has come out with the truth about our favorite big breasted slag Jessica Simpson. This is going to be all over the internet by the time you read this, but I figured I would post about it, because we are supportive of married women cheating on their loser meathead husbands with dirty skateboard kids…I don’t know what Nick was thinking when he married a virgin, I am thinking it was to further his career, they did get a TV show, and he did launch a solo career, it was a solid way to stay in the public’s eye, and not wash up like his loser boy-bandmates….back to the virgin thing, girls with few partners will venture out after getting fucked and realizing that they like getting fucked. They want to know what else is out there, and it’s pretty obvious that Nick is more interested in doing push-ups then getting up in her… that is the reason I only marry sluts.

Hear Interview Here
Watch the Bam and His Ex’s Sex Tape Here

via YEEEAH!

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No matter how skinny you get bitch, you still got cankles and there is nothing more representative of the condition a girl will end up in 10 years down the road than her cankles. The reason for this is simple, her body wants to be fat but all the cocaine, sex and annorexia she is enduring is preventing her from being her natural state, which is probably somewhere in the 200 lbs range. She is built – ready to support a severe depression that is bound to happen sometime soon. Her career will end, people will stop wanting to fuck her and the only happiness she will find will be in a pint of Ice Cream. It’s all good Lohan, I will totally K-Fed your ass…I have no problem living off your fortune, getting you knocked up and spending my days playing videogames, and I fucking hate videogames, but I will do it for you girl. I will make you feel pretty. I will give you the love you won’t find in hollywood….love is something money can’t buy, but a hefty allowance, access to your bank account and a nice care will help.

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Happiness comes in all forms, reality TV is not one of them. I don’t have cable and I can’t afford to get it. None of you bitches have been buying my book, so I am hurting, but that doesn’t change the fact that Big Brother was an innovative concept a few years ago, throw a bunch of losers in a house rigged with hidden cameras and see what pans out. It is something I always wanted to do in my stepdaughters’ room and bathroom, but rumor has it that I will get arrested. This big brother bitch is fat, and fat is good, except when you take them on a date to Krispy Kreme, where everything takes a horrible, scary turn for the worse…stuff this turkey and make her gobble while your doing it…that’s going out to the TheFop BITCHES

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I am a fan of sheer panties, I think it’s more exciting to look at a veiled cooch than to see it out in the open stinkin up the motherfucking room. The sheer panty is the panty of tomorrow, or yesterday or today, or every fucking day. Anyone in opaque shit deserves to be shot, and although that may seem harsh, it’s not, I am a lazy man and wouldn’t have the opportunity to see what soiled fabric underwear you bitches are wearing or take the time to actually shoot you, however if you want to impress the closet-case queen you are fucking…rock it sheer, and while your at it get a job hosting Wild On, everyone’s doing it. Even that slut Tara Reid. This post has been badly written on purpose, nobody is perfect…not even me. It’s been a challenge but I did it – I wrote sheer 3 times, beat that – asshole.

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I am a fan of sheer panties, I think it’s more exciting to look at a veiled cooch than to see it out in the open stinkin up the motherfucking room. The sheer panty is the panty of tomorrow, or yesterday or today, or every fucking day. Anyone in opaque shit deserves to be shot, and although that may seem harsh, it’s not, I am a lazy man and wouldn’t have the opportunity to see what soiled fabric underwear you bitches are wearing or take the time to actually shoot you, however if you want to impress the closet-case queen you are fucking…rock it sheer, and while your at it get a job hosting Wild On, everyone’s doing it. Even that slut Tara Reid. This post has been badly written on purpose, nobody is perfect…not even me. It’s been a challenge but I did it – I wrote sheer 3 times, beat that – asshole.

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I know Nigo is making mad money on this shit, enough to pay Pharell retarded amounts to sport his gear, and enough to get full diamond caps, cuz you know that shit’s hip hop. I don’t care what people say, this shirt is ugly and I don’t support anything A Bathing Ape does, except for the excess amount of drugs, because drugs are always cool, even when your T-shirt is not….I like to think the people who rock this shit are the wave that hit the shores of Thailand 3 weeks after the tsunami…if you don’t get the analogy it’s simple…the people who rock this shit are either getting paid, or are insignifcant I-pod rockin – hip hop hipster posers. Put on your trendy blazer over your t-shirt and Big up your motherfucking self.

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I know Nigo is making mad money on this shit, enough to pay Pharell retarded amounts to sport his gear, and enough to get full diamond caps, cuz you know that shit’s hip hop. I don’t care what people say, this shirt is ugly and I don’t support anything A Bathing Ape does, except for the excess amount of drugs, because drugs are always cool, even when your T-shirt is not….I like to think the people who rock this shit are the wave that hit the shores of Thailand 3 weeks after the tsunami…if you don’t get the analogy it’s simple…the people who rock this shit are either getting paid, or are insignifcant I-pod rockin – hip hop hipster posers. Put on your trendy blazer over your t-shirt and Big up your motherfucking self.

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