I am a little late on this one. Saw it earlier today, and didn’t further investigate. Britney is out an about without a bra. We all know that’s the trend, we also all know that white trash can’t afford bras, so when in your hometown, do what the locals do….Her nipples aim south. Further proof she didn’t get implants, and if she did, girl needs a motherfucking refund. That’s like the time I went to an all you can eat shrimp buffet, and the shit gave me herpes. I went back a month later, complained and got a 10% off coupon. Britney needs to be doing that shit with her implants yo….

Via TaxiDriver

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A while ago, we did a post on Vida Guerra’s ass. Everyone has been freaking about this ass for the longest time, I personally don’t care for booty. I am a huge fan of girls who have little boy asses. Nothing hotter.

Anyway – all good things do come to an end. So all you perverts who thought her as was legit were wrong. Bitch has been photoshopped like every other girl in the magazines. I don’t understand why you fuckers don’t just lower your standards and take the pressure off all the poor girls out there trying to fit into a mold. You are the reason why the girls you get with don’t cum, bitches are thinking about how fat their asses look. Oh, that’s right, you don’t get with girls….

After the jump, you will find, Vida guerra’s photoshop surprise….

via PHUN

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Do you remember Family Matters? Either do I. I think it was during the crack smoking 90s. In retrospect I wished I watched that shit everyday. Apparantly, they phased out the youngest child’s character. I have no idea whether it is true or not, but I do know that ABC’s TGIF line-up has always been pure shit, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

The girl who played Judy Winslow, real name is Jaimee Foxworthy, hit hard times and did what every desperate girl should…..PORN.

I have a new found respect for this slut!

Judy Winslow’s a Dirty Slut, I won’t post the pics, because they are dirty. NSFW

This post was made possibe by OHNOYOUDIDNT

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Dude, her tits are ridiculous. Imagine she was your mother. I don’t find this look hot, it reminds me of the welfare line…trashy and not in a good way. I seriously hate the way she looks, but the picture is hype.

I remember back in Texas, I took a line-dancing class. There was a group of girls who came to the class in a convertible. They all had bleach blonde hair and implants, but I am talking 1982 implants. These things were disgusting. They worked at the equivalent of a hooters nowadays. Anyway – I banged all three of them, the video is floating around somewhere and I am not talking the Mini DV we have today, I am talking VHS motherfucker.

Now take off your pants and let me apply the bronzer. That is my nickname for my CAK!

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You all know who Bansky is right? He is an outdoor artist who uses the “urban lanscape” as his canvas, I tried to do that without sounding like a total queer but you know how it is… He also paints on the occassional cow, something I am familiar with, but instead of paint, I use semen, and instead of cows, I use fat bitches.

Bansky isn’t just some stardard pussy graf artist who throws up big lettering to show off his wild style, Bansky is a little more interesting than that….but still a graf artist.

I haven’t checked his site in a while but saw these funny pics I saw on sexblo.gs

Check out Bansky here…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

You all know who Bansky is right? He is an outdoor artist who uses the “urban lanscape” as his canvas, I tried to do that without sounding like a total queer but you know how it is… He also paints on the occassional cow, something I am familiar with, but instead of paint, I use semen, and instead of cows, I use fat bitches.

Bansky isn’t just some stardard pussy graf artist who throws up big lettering to show off his wild style, Bansky is a little more interesting than that….but still a graf artist.

I haven’t checked his site in a while but saw these funny pics I saw on sexblo.gs

Check out Bansky here…

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Beatboxing. Rumor is that it is the sound of the future. Minimalists everywhere are throwing out their expensive audio equipment just to take on this “artform”. People everywhere are working hard to be that featured artist on one track of the occassional hip hop album…

I think poor is hot now and beatboxing is for the poor kids who couldn’t afford toys, they resorted to making noise with their mouths while daddy was out shooting people, and momma was upstairs smokin’ rock. They would drop beats for their boys in back alleys…as they got older…started to perform at the occassional clubs supporting their boys who were making it as MCs. They became an integral part of the occassional hip hop track as a thanks for providing a beat for the MC before he got signed. Like the clown at the circus, everyone likes to sit back and laugh at the beatboxer…

In twenty years, where will these Beatboxing people be? Probably on the street corner, with one palm out, and the other simulating a crab-scratch while making to sounds with they mouths, begging for change.

Sad story….but that’s what you get for being “hard” and living the hip hop dream…

Check out this audio clip…. FUNNY

Via HumanBeatBox

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I came across this interesting fact on Billy Joel “the piano man”….it’s pretty funny, you would think he lived on an indian reserve or some shit yo.

After resorting to writing for a rock magazine and playing commercial jingles in order to pay the bills, Joel became severely depressed and attempted to take his own life by ingesting a bottle of furniture polish. He survived, and entered a psychiatric hospital to treat his depression.

Furniture Polish? via Here

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I am really not too sure what they hell Paris is up to, but I don’t know if I mind. Any girl in a club, showing off her ass, willing to make out with girls on her camera phone topless, and even release a sex tape, is someone who exudes a certain level of confidence. Growing up, I rarely came across these kinds of girls, there was the occassional pussy flash, titty flash, blowjobs, wet t-shirt contests, orgy, gangbang, unprotected sex with many, many girls…i guess girls have always been this way, just not so public about it…But I do still have enough trouble walking in on my wife when she is sitting on the toilet….I think that’s because she has Crohn’s.

Word.

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After the success of the Vagina List we needed a follow up. Well here it is over 1001 terms for male masturbartion.

1. A little five on one
2. Abuse the fuse
3. Adjust your set

Check out the rest of the list after the Jump (if you dare)

4. Anger the cobra
5. Anger the pickle
6. Answer the bone-a-phone
7. Appease the cheese
8. Arm-wrestle the one eyed champ
9. Asexual reproduction
10. Autofellatio
11. Auto-manipulation
12. Ax the timber
13. Badger the witness
14. Bag that ass up
15. Bait the mast
16. Bake cream cakes
17. Bake the cheese
18. Banana squeezing
19. Bang yourself
20. Bank off shoot goo
21. Bash the bishop
22. Baste the turkey
23. Battle the Cyclops
24. Be a loner
25. Beat it
26.

Beat off
27.

Beat Pedro
28.

Beat the banger
29.

Beat the beef
30.

Beat the bishop
31.

Beat the bologna
32.

Beat the hog
33.

Beat the meat
34.

Beat the monkey
35.

Beat the morning wood (like every good boy should)
36.

Beat the one eye snake
37.

Beat the one eyed monster
38.

Beat the rat
39.

Beat the red-headed cock-eyed woodpecker
40.

Beat the shit
41.

Beat the stepchild
42.

Beat the stick
43.

Beat the weasel
44.

Beat up shorty
45.

Beat your cock
46.

Beat your gorilla
47.

Beat your pud
48.

Beat your skin
49.

Beatin’ the baby batter
50.

Beef the jerky
51.

Beef-strokin’-off
52.

Ben your Franklin
53.

Bend the banana
54.

Bitch-slapping your stomper
55.

Blind the one eyed monster
56.

Blow a wad
57.

Blow the ceiling
58.

Blow up
59.

Blow wad
60.

Blow your load
61.

Blow your nose
62.

Boff up
63.

Bollock milking
64.

Bop the boa
65.

Bop the bologna
66.

Bounce Tigger
67.

Bounce your balls
68.

Box Oscar
69.

Box the clown
70.

Box the Jesuit
71.

Bringin’ ya milk
72.

Buff the bullet
73.

Buff the pickle
74.

Burp the baby
75.

Burp the frog
76.

Burp the worm
77.

Bust a Nut
78.

Busting the left nut instead of the right one
79.

Butter the corn
80.

Call the captain
81.

Caress your zesty zambonie
82.

Chafe the squirtgun
83.

Charm the python
84.

Charm the snake
85.

Checkin’ the Ol’ Dipstick
86.

Cheesin
87.

Choke
88.

Choke the bishop
89.

Choke the chicken
90.

Choke the Choir Boy
91.

Choke the chubby
92.

Choke the monkey
93.

Choke the one eyed snake
94.

Choke the Pope
95.

Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse
96.

Choke the unemployed
97.

Chunking
98.

Churn butter
99.

Churn seed
100.

Circle jerk
101.

Clean the clock
102.

Clean the pipes
103.

Clear the snorkel
104.

Club the cucumber
105.

Cock blockin
106.

Cock pulling
107.

Cock smack
108.

Cock snot
109.

Come to daddy
110.

Corralling the tadpoles
111.

Crank it
112.

Crank one out
113.

Crank the cable
114.

Crank the crane
115.

Crank the gear
116.

Crank the one-eyed yogurt thrower
117.

Cream the cake
118.

Croke the frog
119.

Crown the bishop
120.

Cruzin’ then Oozin’
121.

Cuff the carrot
122.

Cuff the carrot
123.

Cuff the monkey
124.

Cum and go
125.

Cum on self
126.

Cum on your tum
127.

Cum-lets-play
128.

Curl the honey
129.

Daily duties
130.

Dancing around the maypole
131.

Dancing with Mother Knuckle and her five daughters
132.

Dancing with the one eye sailor
133.

Dangle the Donkey
134.

Date Palmela Handerson
135.

Date Paula and her 4 sisters
136.

Date Rosie Palmer and her five sisters
137.

Date with Rosie bone and her five sisters
138.

Deal cards
139.

Deload the gun
140.

Despunk
141.

Destroying the slots machine
142.

Diddle your bob
143.

Do a load by hand.
144.

Do Mary Palm and her 5 sisters
145.

Do shoupa shoupa
146.

Do the dishes
147.

Do the janitor thing
148.

Do the Johnson and ball dance
149.

Do yourself
150.

Dog off
151.

Doing the Palm sisters
152.

Dong around
153.

Donkey punch
154.

Double Clicking The mouse
155.

Dr. Spankenstein Time
156.

Drain the dragon
157.

Drain the lizard
158.

Drain the pipes
159.

Drain the snake
160.

Drain the vein
161.

Drill for oil
162.

Drop a load before work.
163.

Drop the chalupa
164.

Drop the kids off at the pool.
165.

Duke your Jim
166.

Eat the egg
167.

Empty the banana
168.

Empty the pipes
169.

Empty your gunbarrel
170.

Erupt old faithful
171.

Erupt the volcano
172.

Exhaust the camel
173.

Exorcise your demons
174.

Extra long shower
175.

Fake fuckin’
176.

Favorite household activity
177.

Feed the donkey
178.

Feeding the chickens
179.

Feel it up
180.

Fiddle the ferret
181.

Fight one-eyed Willy
182.

Fight the one eyed purple warrior
183.

Fight the one-eyed monster
184.

Fight the purple helmet warrior
185.

Fight with Tarzan
186.

Fill up your belly-button
187.

Fire out the hole
188.

Fire the cannon
189.

Fire the flesh musket
190.

Fire the pistol
191.

Fire the surgeon general
192.

Firing a shot from the grassy knoll
193.

Fist fucking
194.

Fist rocket
195.

Fist-humpin.
196.

Fisting
197.

Fisting your cock
198.

Five against one
199.

Five finger disco
200.

Five finger shuffle
201.

Five fingered widow
202.

Five knuckle shuffle
203.

Five on one
204.

Five versus Willy
205.

Five-fingered humpty hump love pump
206.

Five-fingered wife
207.

Fix the clogged drain
208.

Flick your dick
209.

Fling the pudding
210.

Flog the Bishop
211.

Flog the doggie
212.

Flog the dolphin
213.

Flog the dummy
214.

Flog the hog
215.

Flog the log
216.

Flog the man
217.

Flog the mule
218.

Flog the one eyed gopher
219.

Flog the ore
220.

Flog the sailor
221.

Flog your log
222.

Flogging
223.

Fly solo
224.

Fondle the dolphin
225.

Fondle the frankfurter
226.

Fondle the sausage
227.

Foreskin mambo
228.

Frag your snag
229.

Free the captive ninja
230.

Free Willy
231.

Freshen the air
232.

Friction burn
233.

Frighten the blue veined custard chucker
234.

Fry the chicken
235.

Fry the egg
236.

Fuck the chicken
237.

Fuck the udder
238.

Fuck your cock
239.

Fuck your fist
240.

Fuck your hand
241.

Fuck yourself
242.

Fucking for one
243.

Fucking mother thumb and her 4 daughters
244.

Fumble your frank
245.

Get a handle on things
246.

Get a hold of yourself
247.

Get off
248.

Get some me time
249.

Get sticky
250.

Get the job done
251.

Get to know yourself
252.

Give the dog a bone
253.

Give the dog a walk
254.

Giving Kojak the third degree
255.

Giving yourself a helping hand
256.

Go and have a slap
257.

Go at it
258.

Go blind
259.

Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork
260.

Go for a spoof
261.

Go nut
262.

Grab the gusto
263.

Grab the handle
264.

Grab the meat
265.

Grapple the gorilla
266.

Grease the Pole
267.

Grease the rod
268.

Grease the wheel
269.

Great thoughts
270.

Greet Mr. Happy
271.

Greet the bishop
272.

Greeting Madam Palm and her 5 lovely daughters
273.

Grind the gopher
274.

Grind the groundhog
275.

Groom the Wookie
276.

Ham shank
277.

Hammer the lumber
278.

Hammer the helmet head
279.

Hand fuck
280.

Hand happy
281.

Hand hold
282.

Hand humpin’
283.

Hand jive
284.

Hand sex
285.

Hand shandy
286.

Hand Start the Yogurt Shooter
287.

Hand to Gland combat
288.

Hand to gland combat
289.

Hand, dick co-ordination
290.

Handle the merchandise
291.

Handy sandy
292.

Handy Shandy
293.

Hans Solo
294.

Harass the milkman
295.

Have a Barclays (Barclays Bank — WANK – rhyming slang)
296.

Have a chug
297.

Have a frapp
298.

Have a tug
299.

Have a tug of war with Cyclops
300.

Have a wank
301.

Have fun
302.

Have sex with someone you love
303.

High-five Yule Brenner
304.

Hip the hop
305.

Hit the mitt
306.

Hitch-hike to heaven
307.

Hold the knob
308.

Hold the man
309.

Hold your baseball bat
310.

Hold your sausage hostage
311.

Home alone
312.

Homework
313.

Hone the bone
314.

Hump the hand
315.

Hump the Hebrew
316.

Hump the knob
317.

Hump the matress
318.

Idle hands
319.

Impregnate the air
320.

Increase the surface temperature of the ship’s primary cannon using rapid linear motion
321.

Inside Slider with two balls
322.

Interrogate the prisoner
323.

Interrogate the witness
324.

Introduce Mr. Penis to Mrss Palm and her five lovely daughters
325.

Jack off
326.

Jack the beanstock
327.

Jack the frank
328.

Jack yo mac
329.

Jedi train in the bathroom
330.

Jerk and clean
331.

Jerk around
332.

Jerk it
333.

Jerk off
334.

Jerk pud
335.

Jerk the beef
336.

Jerk the chain
337.

Jerk the cum
338.

Jerk the general
339.

Jerk the Johnson
340.

Jerk the monkey
341.

Jerk the one-eyed snake
342.

Jerk the pet
343.

Jerk you shit
344.

Jerk your chain
345.

Jerk your gherkin
346.

Jerkin’ the gherkin
347.

Jingle the Pringles
348.

Jingle your bone
349.

Jizsturbation
350.

Jock the sock
351.

Jog the joker
352.

Josh one off
353.

Juggle the balls
354.

Jump the pogo stick
355.

Just getting dressed
356.

Just going up to the office to use the photocopier
357.

Just gonna go lay down and take a nap…
358.

Just gonna go take a bath…
359.

Just need a little time with my e-mail, that’s all…
360.

Keepin’ the mortar clean
361.

Kill the gentleman
362.

Kill the Mr. Tingley
363.

Kneading the bread
364.

Knob thumping
365.

Knock one off
366.

Knock one off
367.

Knock the rock
368.

Knuckle shuffle
369.

Launch the hand shuttle
370.

Launch the rocket
371.

Lead pedro down the road of bulimia
372.

Leak the lizard
373.

Let Elvis leave the building
374.

Let loose the juice
375.

Lift your spirit
376.

Lighting the Roman Candle
377.

Liquidate inventory
378.

Log off
379.

Log the lumber
380.

Lollygagging
381.

Lope the mule
382.

Lope the mule
383.

Love yourself
384.

Lube the tube
385.

Lubricate the Lutheran
386.

Magic your Johnson
387.

Make a deposit
388.

Make cream
389.

Make friends with the lizard
390.

Make instant icing
391.

Make it spit
392.

Make it useful
393.

Make junior vomit
394.

Make love to Miss Michigan
395.

Make one on one love
396.

Make one-eye cry
397.

Make Peter puke
398.

Make stomach pancakes
399.

Make the bald guy puke
400.

Make the bald guy puke
401.

Make the Cyclops cry
402.

Make the Cyclops fight the 5 headed monster
403.

Make the Cyclops spit
404.

Make the funny juice flow
405.

Make the one eyed monster puke
406.

Make the privates stand at attention, then fall in
407.

Make the snake puke
408.

Make your own hand lotion
409.

Makin babies
410.

Mangle the moose
411.

Manipulate your manhood
412.

Marry the moose
413.

Massage my palm
414.

Massage my stiff joint
415.

Massage out the stiffness
416.

Massage the salami
417.

Massage the soul
418.

Massage your balls
419.

Massage your clovers
420.

Meat off
421.

Meat-Beat
422.

Meet Mother Palm and her five daughters
423.

Meet the neighbors
424.

Meet the President
425.

Milk it
426.

Milk Murray
427.

Milk the beef
428.

Milk the cock
429.

Milk the cow
430.

Milk the goat
431.

Milk the hose
432.

Milk the lizard
433.

Milk the Magnesia
434.

Milk the Mickey
435.

Milk the one eyed trouser snake
436.

Milk the one-eyed snake
437.

Milk the one-uttered cow
438.

Milk your meat
439.

Milk yourself
440.

Molest the bystander
441.

Money comes out
442.

Monkey dance
443.

Move the joystick
444.

Mr. Happy and his five friends have a party.
445.

Mrs. palmer and her 5 daughters
446.

My Wife
447.

Nuke the whale
448.

Number 3
449.

Oil the barber pole
450.

Oil the barrel
451.

Oil the Crank
452.

Oil the noodle
453.

One hand work out
454.

One handed pole vault
455.

One man and a hand
456.

One man show
457.

Our Gang Spanky Marathon
458.

Paddling the pony
459.

Paint Pontius Pilate’s Palace
460.

Paint the ceiling
461.

Paint the wall
462.

Palm loving
463.

Pamela Handerson
464.

Pan for white gold
465.

Party for one
466.

Pat the monkey
467.

Pat the Robertson
468.

Pay bills
469.

Pay the pope
470.

Peel the banana
471.

Peel the carrot
472.

Peeling chilies
473.

Pet the bald eagle
474.

Pet the donkey
475.

Pet the ghurkin
476.

Pet the one eyed monster
477.

Pet the one eyed snake
478.

Pet the one-eyed gopher
479.

Pet the potato
480.

Pet the snake
481.

Pet the Willy
482.

Pet your third leg
483.

Pickle your peter
484.

Pimp pump
485.

Piston pushing
486.

Play a solo on my private organ
487.

Play ball with the boys
488.

Play five on one
489.

Play golf
490.

Play peek-a-boo alone
491.

Play pocket pool
492.

Play skin Banjo
493.

Play solitaire
494.

Play the bag pipe
495.

Play the meat pipe
496.

Play the skin flute
497.

Play tug of war with Cyclops
498.

Play with Burt Reynolds mustache
499.

Play with Fistina
500.

Play with Fred
501.

Play with lil’ Elvis
502.

Play with Mr. Panky
503.

Play with myself
504.

Play with Peter
505.

Play with Pikachu
506.

Play with Rosey Palm
507.

Play with the pud
508.

Play with the purple headed yogurt slinger
509.

Play with Wally
510.

Play with Willy the wonder worm
511.

Play with your cock and balls
512.

Play with yourself
513.

Play your guitar
514.

Play Zelda
515.

Pluck the ducky
516.

Pluck the mushroom
517.

Pocket billiards
518.

Pocket fishing
519.

Pocket pool
520.

Polish Lord Helmet
521.

Polish the baton
522.

Polish the bishop
523.

Polish the candlestick
524.

Polish the dolphin
525.

Polish the helmet
526.

Polish the knob
527.

Polish the Ol’ Torpedo
528.

Polish the one eyed gopher
529.

Polish the one eyed weasel
530.

Polish the Papal Podium
531.

Polish the pewter
532.

Polish the piston
533.

Polish the pope
534.

Polish the shaft
535.

Polish the silver
536.

Polish the sword of happiness
537.

Polish the torpedo
538.

Polish your Oscar
539.

Polish your pipe
540.

Polish your rocket
541.

Polish your whistle
542.

Polishing the periscope
543.

Pop the head
544.

Pop the pistol
545.

Pop the top off the Champaign bottle
546.

Portuguese pump
547.

Pound off
548.

Pound the flounder
549.

Pound the hammer
550.

Pound the pony
551.

Pound the pud
552.

Powder your nose
553.

Prime the pump handle
554.

Prune the shroom
555.

Pud pulling
556.

Pud whacking
557.

Puddin’
558.

Pull a quickie
559.

Pull and squirt
560.

Pull dinky
561.

Pull it
562.

Pull it hard
563.

Pull Nixon’s nose
564.

Pull off
565.

Pull one off
566.

Pull one out of the bag…
567.

Pull pud
568.

Pull Stretch Armstrong
569.

Pull the chain
570.

Pull the cord
571.

Pull the dog’s tail
572.

Pull the fun lever
573.

Pull the goalie
574.

Pull the meat
575.

Pull the noodle
576.

Pull the pickle
577.

Pull the pig
578.

Pull the pipe
579.

Pull the plowman
580.

Pull the Polish pork
581.

Pull the pork
582.

Pull the turkey
583.

Pull your plumb
584.

Pull your pud
585.

Pull your toy
586.

Pull your wire
587.

Pulling your Yankee Doodle
588.

Pump
589.

Pump jacks
590.

Pump mini me
591.

Pump sperm
592.

Pump the balls
593.

Pump the Pole
594.

Pump the watergun
595.

Pump your gun
596.

Pump your pud
597.

Pump’n the water rocket
598.

Punch the clown
599.

Punch the eclair
600.

Punch the monkey
601.

Punch the munchkin
602.

Punish Percy in the palm
603.

Punish the evil merchant
604.

Puppy whacking
605.

Pushing the envelope
606.

Put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college
607.

Putting Mayonnaise On The Garlic Bread
608.

Ram the rod
609.

Rattle the one eyed snake
610.

Ream the one eyed semen demon
611.

Release some steam
612.

Release the hounds
613.

Release the pressure
614.

Release the valves
615.

Relieve your sperm bank
616.

Relieving a little tension
617.

Relish up the hot dog
618.

Remove the rust
619.

Ricky Wrestling
620.

Ride the big dipper
621.

Ride The Dolphin
622.

Ride the rod
623.

Ride to heaven
624.

Ring your cock
625.

Rinse on
626.

Rocketing
627.

Rod yankin
628.

Roll dice
629.

Rolling the dough
630.

Rope the mule
631.

Rope your goat
632.

Rough up the little man
633.

Rough up the suspect
634.

Row the boat
635.

Rub a dub dub
636.

Rub it silly
637.

Rub one off
638.

Rub one out
639.

Rub the button
640.

Rub the faucet
641.

Rub the fireman’s helmet
642.

Rub the knob!
643.

Rub the magic lamp
644.

Rub the pipe
645.

Rub the rhubarb
646.

Rub the rod
647.

Rub the sausage
648.

Rub the tool
649.

Rub your monkey
650.

Rub your nub
651.

Rubadubdub
652.

Run off a batch
653.

Salute the flag pole
654.

Salute the general
655.

Salute the scumlord
656.

Sausage stroking
657.

Say hello to Mr. Happy
658.

Say hello to the colonel of love
659.

Say hi to your monster
660.

Scramble the sausage
661.

Scrub the deck
662.

Self deflation
663.

Self diddle
664.

Self fuck
665.

Self fucking
666.

Self gratification
667.

Self indulgence
668.

Self motivation
669.

Self service
670.

Self sex
671.

Self-satisfaction
672.

Self-suck
673.

Sex with da hands
674.

Sex with Simon
675.

Shag your shank
676.

Shag-yer-self
677.

Shake hands w/the unemployed
678.

Shake hands with a pole
679.

Shake hands with Abraham Lincoln
680.

Shake hands with Ben Franklin
681.

Shake hands with Elvis
682.

Shake hands with Mr Peeper
683.

Shake hands with the ambassador of love
684.

Shake hands with the devil
685.

Shake hands with the governor
686.

Shake hands with the one eyed milk man
687.

Shake hands with the president
688.

Shake hands with the sheriff
689.

Shake hands with the unemployed
690.

Shake hands with the wife’s wedding present
691.

Shake hot, white coconuts from the veiny love tree
692.

Shake it
693.

Shake my finger
694.

Shake off
695.

Shake the bottle
696.

Shake the goo off
697.

Shake the grapes
698.

Shake the old man
699.

Shake the pepperpot
700.

Shake the snake
701.

Shake the snake
702.

Shake with the tall guy
703.

Shake your fist angrily at your ex-girlfriend
704.

Shake your martini
705.

Shakin’ the bacon
706.

Shaking hand with Colonel Sanders
707.

Shampoo the carpet
708.

Shampoo the moose
709.

Sharpen the pencil
710.

Shift with the manual transmission
711.

Shine the bishop
712.

Shine the car
713.

Shine the helmet
714.

Shine the pole
715.

Shine the spear
716.

Shine the telescope
717.

Shine the wood
718.

Shine your salami
719.

Shock the monkey
720.

Shoot for pearls
721.

Shoot hoops
722.

Shoot old yeller
723.

Shoot putty at the moon
724.

Shoot putty at the moon
725.

Shoot the gun
726.

Shoot the plane
727.

Short-arm stroking
728.

Shroom pullin’
729.

Shuck the corn cob
730.

Shuck the cornstalk
731.

Sin dirty with thy self
732.

Siphon the python
733.

Skin the sarge
734.

Skin the sausage
735.

Skin your frank
736.

Slam the ham
737.

Slam the stick
738.

Slap little Johnny behind the German helmet
739.

Slap spanky
740.

Slap the bishop
741.

Slap the carrot
742.

Slap the dick
743.

Slap the dummy
744.

Slap the ham
745.

Slap the salami
746.

Slap the salmon
747.

Slap the sausage
748.

Slap the stick
749.

Slap you cock
750.

Slay the dragon
751.

Slick the stick
752.

Slime the salamy
753.

slippery
754.

slippin’ salami
755.

slipping
756.

Slobbin’ the Milosevich
757.

Smack
758.

Smack baldy on the head
759.

Smack my pud
760.

Smack off
761.

Smack the burrito
762.

Smack the salami
763.

Smack your monkey
764.

Smelly jelly making
765.

Smoke the turkey
766.

Sneak a wink at wiggly
767.

Sock the cock
768.

Solo serve
769.

Spank frank
770.

Spank frank
771.

Spank it
772.

Spank it
773.

Spank Milo
774.

Spank off
775.

Spank one
776.

Spank that ass
777.

Spank the chicken
778.

Spank the dolphin
779.

Spank the hotdog
780.

Spank the money
781.

Spank the monkey
782.

Spank the old lady
783.

Spank the pup
784.

Spank the sausage
785.

Spank the Spam
786.

Spank your love life
787.

Spank your monkey
788.

Spank your pud
789.

Spanktervision
790.

Spanky’s Revenge
791.

Speed shifting
792.

Spend time with an old friend
793.

Spewin’ a white one
794.

Spill milk
795.

Spin the dreidel
796.

Spit da’ sperm
797.

Spit shine the knob
798.

Splish Splah
799.

Sploshing
800.

Sporting the tent
801.

Spraying the belly with sticky white love-piss
802.

Spunk the monkey
803.

Spunk up
804.

Squeeze a few rounds off on the pump action shotgun
805.

Squeeze cheese
806.

Squeeze off a load
807.

Squeeze one off
808.

Squeeze the big guy
809.

Squeeze the Charmin
810.

Squeeze the Cyclops
811.

Squeeze the duck’s head
812.

Squeeze the juice out the head
813.

Squeeze the lemon
814.

Squeeze the sausage
815.

Squeeze the squid
816.

Squeeze the tomato
817.

Squeeze the Twinkie
818.

Squeeze you lizard
819.

Squirt the Bert
820.

Squish the squid
821.

Stain the mitt
822.

Start the engine
823.

Start the lawnmower
824.

Stick it
825.

Stick shifting
826.

Stock
827.

Stoke the Strokin’ stack
828.

Strangle the bishop
829.

Strangle the one-eyed trouser snake
830.

Strangle the snake
831.

Strangle the snake
832.

Strangle the warrior
833.

Stress reliever
834.

Stretch it
835.

Stretch one out
836.

Stretch the salami
837.

Stretching the truth
838.

Strike oil
839.

Strip the bark
840.

Stroke
841.

Stroke it
842.

Stroke off
843.

Stroke that big thing
844.

Stroke the chicken
845.

Stroke the choad
846.

Stroke the cock
847.

stroke the crank
848.

Stroke the ding-dong
849.

Stroke the dolphin
850.

Stroke the donkey
851.

Stroke the longhorn
852.

Stroke the manroot
853.

Stroke the monkey
854.

Stroke the mushroom
855.

Stroke the oar
856.

stroke the one-eyed snake
857.

Stroke the poke
858.

Stroke the puppy
859.

Stroke the salami
860.

Stroke the salami
861.

Stroke the schlong
862.

Stroke the shaft
863.

Stroke the slug
864.

Stroke the Snake
865.

Stroke the stick
866.

Stroke the strudel
867.

Stroke the stump
868.

Stroke the weasel
869.

Stroke the yoke
870.

Stroke your cock
871.

Stroking the dog
872.

Stroking the fireman
873.

Stroking the flagpole
874.

Struggle for life
875.

Strum the drum
876.

Strum your guitar
877.

Summon the jizz
878.

Swat off
879.

Swing the balls
880.

Swing the thing
881.

Tackling the totem
882.

Take a load off
883.

Take a ride on the slip n’ slide
884.

Take a squirt
885.

Take batting practice
886.

Take Capt Solo on the Kessel Run
887.

Take Captain Picard to Warp Speed
888.

Take care of a big problem
889.

Take care of business
890.

Take matters in hand
891.

Take the edge off
892.

Take the sausage hostage
893.

Take your banana boat to tuna town
894.

Tame the beast
895.

Tame the one eyed spitting snake
896.

Tame the shrew
897.

Tame the vein
898.

Taming the purple headed warrior
899.

Tantalizing your toboggan
900.

Tap a teste
901.

Teach the dog a lesson
902.

Teach the monkey
903.

Tease the weasel
904.

Tease to please
905.

Teasing one out
906.

Tenderize the meat
907.

Tenderize the pork
908.

Tenderize the steak
909.

Test the probe
910.

Test the purple headed yogurt thrower
911.

Thawing the meat
912.

The gentle handshake
913.

The ol’ 5 against 1
914.

The penis pull
915.

The right hand maneuver
916.

The sofa
917.

The twist
918.

Thelma Thumb and her four sisters
919.

Think of your mom
920.

Thump the stump
921.

Thumping the stump
922.

Tickle the angus
923.

Tickle the meat curtains
924.

Tickle the peter
925.

Tickle the pickle
926.

Tickle the tentacle
927.

Tickle the tiger
928.

Tip the hat
929.

Tommy Tank
930.

Toot the horn
931.

Torture little Timmy
932.

Torture the monkey
933.

Toss off
934.

Toss the salad
935.

Touch the toucher
936.

Touch yourself
937.

Train the chicken
938.

Train the purple-headed warrior
939.

Tug the handle
940.

Tug the tassel
941.

Tug the turkey
942.

Tug your rope
943.

Tugging the boat
944.

Tug-O-War With Cyclops
945.

Turn Japanese
946.

Tweak your tool.
947.

Twiddle the bone flute
948.

Ugly Man Sex
949.

Unisex
950.

Unleashing
951.

Unload your gun
952.

Unsheathe the meat sword
953.

Up and down
954.

Use the joystick
955.

Vex the vicar
956.

Vice grip
957.

Virgin Love
958.

Visit the petting zoo
959.

Vote Republican
960.

Wag it
961.

Wag the dog
962.

Walk the dog
963.

Wang chungin
964.

Wang off
965.

Wank
966.

Wank and crank
967.

Wank it
968.

Wank off
969.

Wank the monkey
970.

Wank the pud
971.

Wank the sock
972.

Wank the wanker
973.

Wank the willy
974.

Wank your shank
975.

Wankin and spankin
976.

Wanky panky
977.

Wash the Buick
978.

Wash the rod
979.

Watch some pooh
980.

Wax the Bat
981.

Wax the bishop
982.

Wax the carrot
983.

Wax the chrome
984.

Wax the dolphin
985.

Wax the flagpole
986.

Wax the frog
987.

Wax the ol’ Torpedo
988.

Wax the pole
989.

Wax the weasel
990.

Wax the willie
991.

Wax the Winnebago
992.

Weenie whacking
993.

Wet the whistle
994.

Whack it
995.

Whack jack
996.

Whack off
997.

Whack off like a red-headed stepchild
998.

Whack the Chalupa
999.

Whack the pole
1000.

Whack the pud
1001.

Whack the rod
1002.

Whack the weasel
1003.

Whack the wizard
1004.

Whack the wood
1005.

Whack your wack
1006.

Whackin winky
1007.

Whacking it
1008.

Wham the bone
1009.

Wheel it
1010.

Whip it
1011.

Whip pud
1012.

Whip the noodle
1013.

Whip the weenie
1014.

Whip up some baby batter.
1015.

Whippin’ cream
1016.

Whipping’ it good
1017.

Whipping the skippy
1018.

White Water Wristing
1019.

White water wristing
1020.

Whittle the wood
1021.

Whoop the mule
1022.

Whoop your pudd
1023.

Wind up the cock clock
1024.

Wind your sun dial
1025.

Windsurf on Mt. Baldy
1026.

Withdraw from the spankbank
1027.

Work out the third leg
1028.

Workin’ it
1029.

Working the wiligger
1030.

Wrestle the bald head champion
1031.

Wrestle the champ
1032.

Wrestle the turkey
1033.

Wrestle with Jimmy
1034.

Wrestle with the one eyed champ
1035.

Wrestle with the one-eyed monster
1036.

Wrestle with the one-eyed-trouser snake
1037.

Yank off
1038.

Yank the chain
1039.

Yank the crank
1040.

Yank the dog
1041.

Yank the plank
1042.

Yank the sausage
1043.

Yank the Yankee
1044.

Yankie the Wankie
1045.

Yolk the egg

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