I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Uncategorized Category

2005

06

Jan

I am – J-Date Match of the Day

I am not jewish, but i am a member on every dating site on the internet, because I don’t discriminate. I decided I should post my JDate Match of the day. If this is you or your sister/cousin/friend, be happy, I just made you/her famous. Bitch. She hasn’t been in a relationship since highschool, this girls needs some hot cock lovin’ – hook her up…yo.

Full profile after the jump.

About her (she’s gonna be a $Doctor$)

I like to think of myself as free-spirited and fun. I enjoy being with people who can laugh as much as I do at the little things. I love the outdoors and any type of animal. I am very close with my family and they are some of the most important people in my life. I love to ski, swim, camp and cuddle. Right now I am in my second year of medical school and finally feel like I’m learning. I keep myself going all the time by reminding myself why I am doing this: to gain the skills to help anyone, anywhere, anytime. I try to define my life by what good I can do for others and for the world. No teasing here so look for my name where people laugh online in canada.

Ideal Relationship

Oh god. I don’t think I really want to answer this because I haven’t found that yet. I think a relationship is what you both make of it. Of course it would involve two happy people, both of whom has spent enough time single to be fully happy with themselves as individuals and thus have self-confidence. We would both do little spontaneous things for each other such as show up on the doorstep unexpected, just to show we care. I wouldn’t try to fix him, and he wouldn’t try to fix me. We would each listen to the other’s problems without prejudice or impatience. Romance is important, and affection is a must

Perfect First Date

To tell the truth, I haven’t been on all that many! The best one however was outdoors .so my date would go as follows: We’d meet for lunch at a little cafe, on the patio, in the sunshine. Over a nice meal and some wine we start to get comfortable talking to each other and break the ice. Later we go for an ice cream before hitting some place like the Old Port of Montreal, or a lakeshore, or a mountaintop. We relax in the grass and really get to know each other, watch the sunset, and depending how much we’re enjoying it we stay longer or take a nice drive home. Kissing is welcome, but in any case we hug goodnight and look forward to the next time together.

Learned from Past Relationships:

First of all: I haven’t been in a relationship since high school, so honestly I don’t know what I’m talking about. But here’s what I learned when I was 17: I don’t always have to be right, and neither does he. We both have problems that need discussing but neither of us is necessarily looking for a solution. Debating a topic shouldn’t lead to arguments or a large-scale fight. Love is something that can be lost easily and should be cherished. Never ever lose touch with friends because you are lost in your relationship and blind to the world. Possessiveness is a negative thing.

Posted in:stepFAME|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Vagina List

If ever you wonder what to call your
girlfriend/hooker/sister/friend/stranger’s love muffin, here is the
most comprehensive vagina list on the internet.

List after the jump

vagina, pussy, bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver, cunt, trim, hair
pie, bearded ax wound, tuna taco, fur burger, cooch, cooter, punani,
snatch, twat, lovebox, box, poontang, cookie, fuckhole, love canal,
flower, nana, pink taco, cat, catcher’s mitt, muff, roast beef
curtains, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish
sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, love hole, deep
socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the
great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet wound,
honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha, stinkhole, black hole of
calcutta, cock socket, pink taco, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum
crack, twat, rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box, fuzzy
wuzzy, gash, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound,
peach, pink, piss flaps, the fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry
cup, stench-trench, wizard’s sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split
dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody
tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains,
furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where
Uncle’s doodle goes, altar of love, cupid’s cupboard, bird’s nest,
bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy
doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon
hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of
champions, wookie, fish mitten, fuck pocket, hump hole, pink circle,
silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of
Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet.
Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer
Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler
(Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin,
Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps,
Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth,
Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty,
Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge,
Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue
Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China),
Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt,
Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken’s
tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog’s mouth, Door of life, Fly
catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH, her
asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon,
tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The Helmut
Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with
fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love,
Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy
in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef quarters, Venus
butterfly, cooter, cream canal, poontang pie, wet mark, private area,
thresher, punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee machine, pink
cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy
grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble
gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle,
bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece,
python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake
lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink,
launch pad, horn of plenty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies,
flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank,
man’s charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the
welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of
dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil’s hole, lucy, pish
buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker
bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot
pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver,
purple people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry pop tart,
fat rabbit, scunt, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., stench
trench, poon jab, nappy dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter
muffin, the promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, bitch
ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the
toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian’s daily glove, the
code defierthe salt water taffy factory, mommy’s pie, the easy bake
oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea
bone patch, the vegitarian’s temptation, the vegan store, the blow
hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon,
pickle stinker, jezebel’s smell, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach,
sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole,
cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator,
b.o.b.’s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise,
cock sock, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon,
fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red
river gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby zipper,
richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap,
clap trap, camel toe, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six
pack, clam canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie, erie
canal, candy kiss, gauntlet, round mound of beehound,lick n’ stick,
lap flounder, tomahawk chop, chin-chin, pachinko, cuntry pie, lip tip,
the big casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave, fuck
donut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth hole, bald biscuit,
the unmentionable, mans ruin, peeshie, hairy potter, courtney
cocksleve, panty hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock
magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven, squid, dick basket,
hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl, love cave, squeeze-box, quim, honey
pot, the bone collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck,
bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora’s box,snail tracker,
cuntzilla, homebase, pud pocket, bear trap, indian bones and the
temple of poon, chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley,
nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold

Source: SublimeDirectory.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – HornyBoy

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Horny Boy  is our personal site of the day. He is a rich horny kid from San Fran. His dad is royalty and his mom runs her own entertainment company. He gets to mingle with celebrities, and travel the world on his dad’s private jet. And he is horny, much like myself, that is the reason for my criminal record in its entirety. Try telling a judge you did it because you were horny…it doesn’t go too far.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

 
About Horny Boy:
 
“I’m a college student from San Francisco who lives life with the rich and famous. My Mom runs a major corporation in the entertainment industry, so I get to meet lots of celebrities backstage at movie, television, fashion, and music events from time to time. With my Dad, I get to jet to major sporting events. I also accompany my parents to major European royal functions. Enjoy my life!”
 
About His Mom
 
“Recently one of my Mom’s big projects was released, and it has grossed a truly obscene amount of money in a very short period of time. I’d say more, but that might jeopardize my anonymity here. “
 
“So what is this uberrich lady doing on Thanksgiving afternoon? Cutting and sorting grocery coupons for her kitchen staff. I’ll never understand the lady. The movie trade rag Variety would never believe it.”
 
“Actually I think my Mom went to the NBC party just to see what other talent was ripe for the plucking. No wonder my Mom earns the really HUGE bucks.”
 
About his Sex Life:
 
“Sunday morning Samantha woke me up kissing my neck and nibbling on my earlobes. I was nude and had my usual morning hardon, but my first reaction was embarrassment for it. She tried to pull down the sheets, and I held them in place as though my life depended on it. I don’t know why I’m so shy and fucked up when I wake up. What is really weird is that I usually jack off when I wake up, so I have no idea why I didn’t want to have sex with Samantha.”
 
“Some of the guys thought jacking off to oneself in the mirror was just autoerotic while a minority thought that it was homoerotic.”
 
“Later in the afternoon Tiff’s buns were getting red, so I squirted Lubriderm Lotion on them. The cold lotion gave Tiff’s buns the cutest goosebumps. I used a bird feather to play “connect the dots” while on my stomach so Tiff wouldn’t notice my hardon and jump to conclusions. Sometimes I get hardons for the dumbest reasons.”
 
“Tiff, Natalie, and Deb are really just friends, yet looking at their nude bodies basking in the sun got me hard. And they seemed to really check out us guys too as we lay there nude. “
 
“At least now I know my shower can hold six people. All three of us guys had hardons, yet it was so much fun we couldn’t give a shit.”
 
I am pretty sure this guy isn’t for real, he is just a lonely sexually repressed guy who gets little attention from the ladies, and from his family. He is projecting this image on the internet, because you get to be whoever you want to be on the net. It’s what the stepfather calls fantasy, but we won’t get into my fantasies…they are too naughty and illegal. 
 
Main Site Here
Celebs Page Here
Sexual Encounters Here
 

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Federline Perfume

“Federline” a new perfume by Britney Spears is coming.

Hear the ad Here

In other britney news:

Popstar Britney Spears wearing prison outfit in L.A.

Here

Caption: Outrageous to the last popstar Britney Spears shows off her wacky outfit on a day out in Malibu. Her outfit consisted of a cut off denim jacket decorated with safety pins, metal studs and glittery mementos over the top of a genuine California department of Corrections prison sweater. The sweater is generally worn by hardened prison guards securing some of the states toughest prisoners and it is unsure as to how the princess of pop got her hands on it. As she departed the Lisa Kline mens store to head back to her assistants vehicle she stumbled over a sewer drain and made a few facial expressions and comments about the offensive smell.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Spam of the Day

—– Original Message —–

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2005 6:41 PM
Subject: Improve Your Size and Your Power

“My girlfriend loves the results, but she doesn’t know what I do. She thinks it’s natural” -Thomas, CA

“I’ve been using your product for 4 months now. I’ve increased my length from 2″ to nearly 6″ . Your product has saved my sex life.” -Matt, FL

Pleasure your partner every time with a bigger, longer, stronger Unit
Realistic gains quickly

Yet such was the case; just as the sun sank over the edge of the waves he saw, to his great relief, a large island directly in his path
sorry not for me and the address is above
She threatened to scratch my eyes out if I touched her
Where is she? asked Dorothy He dropped to a lower position in the air, and when he judged himself to be over the center of the island he turned the indicator to zero and stopped short The country was beautifully wooded, while pretty brooks sparkled through the rich green foliage of the trees

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Anna Nicole Nipple Pasties

This girl was fat and on crack that I sold her. Now she is thinner and too good for my crack, she just likes to get jacked on trimspa pills and shows her titties in the process.

We know you have already seen her naked, she was a playboy centerfold, but it’s nice to see her letting the ladies out. Unfortunately she is rocking a pair of white trash pasties. I have a pair, but I only wear them to the beach, and that is because I have very offensive nipples

Check out the Anna Nicole Pic (no that isn’t me pulling up her shirt).

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Christina Aguilera's Nipple Ring

In this picture you can see Christina Aguilera’s nipple ring. That’s all I have to say about that.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Nipple Ring

In this picture you can see Christina Aguilera’s nipple ring. That’s all I have to say about that.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – The Tampon Doll!

If only I found this a few weeks ago I would have given one to each of my kids for Hanukkah. They promise no “real” tampons are harmed in the making of these dolls so the activists will love them too.

HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Spam of the Day

—– Original Message —–
From: “Willie Zapata”
To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
Subject: Ready for the sex life you always dreamed about?

Are you ready for the sex life you always dreamed about?

Every man wishes he had a larger penis…
Every woman wishes their partner could last longer in bed…
Do you want to increase her pleasure, as well as your own?
Well now its possible with Maxx Length.
What are you waiting for? Give it a try:

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