I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

12

Jul

I am – Kim Kardishian is Kinda Famous of the Day

Kim Kardishian @ Mercedes Fashion Week.

So it looks like fatass is gone, and it’s just me and the four of you losers until he gets back, lucky me. Thanks for the emails you guys have been sending, its good to know you’re reading. Of course I know it’s just cause you’re all still virgins, and think maybe scoring with an 18 year old will be easy.

Here’s Kim Kardishian, doing what shes does best, which is nothing. Every highschool has a girl like Kim. Drop dead gorgeous but living in the shadow of her manipulitive, popular-for-no-reason best friend (yes, thats you Paris!), who she is also prettier then. She’s forced to follow her friend around, maybe carry her books to class, get the seconds of guys that her friend didn’t want andother stuff like that. But hey at least she’s popular kinda right? She gets to sit at the cool table in the cafeteria!!!

My art teacher is pretty cool and when I told him I was helping Jesus run the blog while he was gone, he told me this quote by Andy Warhol, something about how in the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. I started thinking about that when I walked home that day and it kind of stuck with me. What kind of a crazy world are we living where merely being friends with somebody famous can make you a star too? Then I realized it’s just like highschool. You run around to be seen with the right crowd, you have wear the right clothes or everyone hates you, and the girls that are sluts get the most attention. So Hollywood is just like Highschool, though I think Hollywood may have better food.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Sluts|Socialites|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

stepLINKS July 11th

I wrote this hilarious post and did all the links and then my computer crashed because our house is hot as fuck and Jesus won’t get us an air conditioner. I wrote a fantastic intro, which I lost of course, along with all the links. I felt really movivated to continue after, as I’m sure you all would. But, something pretty funny did happen to me today.

I was driving back to my place with a friend in his car and there was pretty heavy traffic, so we hit up the Mc Donald’s drive through to grab some food. As we stop at this light, this street kid and his girlfriend go up to a BMW in front of us and start trying to squeegee the windown or some shit. I could see the kid in the passenger side waving the guy away. The homeless kid got pissed, you know cause homeless people generally think they are entitled to all shit we work all day for while they sit around in the sun drinking booze. The kid took his squeegee and not only hit the front windshield but also kicks the side of the passenger door which I am pretty sure left a dent.

As this point they were yelling racial slurs at the father and son in the car, and even telling them ignorant shit like to “go back to their country” etc, cause you know, thats whats racist ingorant people do. The traffic picked up, and the BMW drove away, I guess they didn’t want to get involved or some shit. So, I did the only thing I could think of and took the lid off my supersized orange soda and threw the thing on the kid as we drove by and my friend honked the horn. It was amazing. Here’s the links,

Most song lyrics are bullshit. Here’s some proof.
GO

I dunno who Battles are, but they seem pretty cool to me.
GO

The Joys of Food and Sex.
GO

Prisoner workout sing along.
GO

In case you are hungry and poor, like I am.
GO

Waste time at work playing this cool game.
GO

Michelle Marsh gets the dumbest tattoo ever.
GO

Josh Duhamel is dating what appears to be a man
GO

Cellphone in the bumhole. Cause you’re a perv like that.
GO

The colour purple….and orange.
GO

A wet t-shirt contest, because you never get to see boobs in real life.
GO

Natalie Denning is so hot it’s ridiculous
GO

Pam Anderson shows us her tits. For the millionth time.
GO

Chick walks through toen in a Meat Bikini.
GO

Lohan knows how to read! Or so she claims.
GO

Cameron Diaz wears see through tops. She’s probably trying to distract from her
face.
GO

Naked girls at a pool party.
GO

An ode to the Female Ass
GO

Use this next time you almost get robbed on the way home
GO

Drunk college girls get naked for the camera. What else is new.
GO

Brandon Davis is ugly and I hate him.
GO

Now THATS what I call a sex toy
GO

Your daily piece of ass.
GO

Nicole Richie is still going to jail, just later then we thought.
GO

More ET Porn
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Some Pretty Naked Photobucket Pics
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Next Generation of Rape Prevention
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Jessica Biel Big Tit Pics
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Mariah Carey Bikini Pics in Spanish
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Mark Ronson has a new album or something.
GO

The art of the Bikini.
GO

Now you can watch Scarlet Johanson undress without fear of a lawsuit.
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More Photobucket Vagina – Thanks Rogue Collector
GO

Live vicariously through the guy touching this girls ass.
GO

Charlie Sheen found a new wife-to-be to cheat on and abuse.
GO

Hairy wife. Because you are a dirty hippy at heart.

GO

Guys with big guts are hot, just ask Jesus.
GO

Rachel Bilson is adorable.
GO

Lindsay Lohan wants to get married.
GO

Why are Posh and Beckham famous?
GO

And More Photobucket Vagina – Thanks Rogue Collector
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Ninja Cheerleaders
GO

Kids give teachers Marijuana muffins. Awesome!
GO

Whores dancin to Christina Aguilera’s Dirty.
GO

Katherine McPhee is really hot.
GO

Hilary Swank is skinny. Duh.
GO

Pink .vs. Shitney Spears.
GO

Find sex in your home town, or where else you happen to be.
GO

Being a virgin at 35 is really, really sad. Maybe this will help you.
GO

Show Me Your Links and I’ll Show Your Mine
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora’s Birthday of the Day

mk_party2.jpg

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Coke|Drunk|Olsen Twins|Rich Kids|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora's Birthday of the Day

mk_party2.jpg

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Coke|Drunk|Olsen Twins|Rich Kids|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Bai Ling's Nipple Slip of the Day

bai_ling_nippletop2.jpg
bai_ling_nippletop.jpg

Bai Ling is one of those people I don’t really understand…she’s been around longer than this site has and I still have no fucking idea what she does. She gets invited to events, has nipple slips and she was in Playboy and here she is having another nipple slip at the ESPY awards, which are for sports and I hate sports but I like nipples so I will post them.

I was talking to a cab driver I met while smoking a cigar at the taxi stand the other day and it was hot out. Every girl who walked by us was half naked and this Iranian dude was freaking the fuck out. He said that every year girls where less and less clothes. He said that it’s dangerous. Automatically assuming that he meant that he wanted to rape girls, I felt a little uncomfortable but he made it clear that he thought it was dangerous because it will cause accidents on the road and not in the back alley. I asked him how often he looks in his rearview mirror to look up girl’s skirts and he blew off the question because I guess he is a professional but I could tell by the glimmer in his eye and the way he smiled hat he did and that he has seen more pantyless pussies in the last year than he has in his career.

Either way, here’s Bai Ling’s Nipple. She’s like the Asian Paris Hilton and her nipples are bigger than your dick…and I know if you had you’re way you’d love for her to fuck you in the ass with it and although that may not make you gay, you’re still a fucking Homo to me, now touch your toes sweetheart.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Nipple|Nipple Slip|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Bai Ling’s Nipple Slip of the Day

bai_ling_nippletop2.jpg
bai_ling_nippletop.jpg

Bai Ling is one of those people I don’t really understand…she’s been around longer than this site has and I still have no fucking idea what she does. She gets invited to events, has nipple slips and she was in Playboy and here she is having another nipple slip at the ESPY awards, which are for sports and I hate sports but I like nipples so I will post them.

I was talking to a cab driver I met while smoking a cigar at the taxi stand the other day and it was hot out. Every girl who walked by us was half naked and this Iranian dude was freaking the fuck out. He said that every year girls where less and less clothes. He said that it’s dangerous. Automatically assuming that he meant that he wanted to rape girls, I felt a little uncomfortable but he made it clear that he thought it was dangerous because it will cause accidents on the road and not in the back alley. I asked him how often he looks in his rearview mirror to look up girl’s skirts and he blew off the question because I guess he is a professional but I could tell by the glimmer in his eye and the way he smiled hat he did and that he has seen more pantyless pussies in the last year than he has in his career.

Either way, here’s Bai Ling’s Nipple. She’s like the Asian Paris Hilton and her nipples are bigger than your dick…and I know if you had you’re way you’d love for her to fuck you in the ass with it and although that may not make you gay, you’re still a fucking Homo to me, now touch your toes sweetheart.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Nipple|Nipple Slip|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Sophia Bush Working Out in Spandex of the Day

sophia_bush_spandex.jpg

I never watched any of those teenage girls shows like One Tree Hill, Buffy, the one with Kerri Russel, Gilmore girls or any of that shit, probably because I have a penis and like sex, but I do know they exist because I write a stupid site. I don’t know much about Sophia Bush, because she is about as famous as the guy who works at the deli down the street, everyone seems to know his name, but she is still good enough for the paparazzi to take pictures of. When I first opened these up, I thought she was the president’s daughter and I was going to write something political since this is a political site and I know so much about global issues. Unfortunately, she’s not so I’ll just talk about spandex….

I once knew some steroid motherfucker who was a personal trainer because he liked middle aged women, he would work at the most exclusive gyms in the city in hopes of landing a hot wife since he loved himself and his muscles so much. He was the kind of guy you’d go out with and would stand at the bar flexing and rubbing his biceps for the barmaid as he ordered his drink. The dude was a fucking idiot and had little to offer, but for some reason he was what these younger wives of rich dudes wanted to fuck. They weren’t lookin for love, they were looking for a good fuck while the husband was at work and he ended up getting asked to train them at their home gyms. His business basically became going to see one lady, training her by stuffin her like a turkey, then she would be so impressed with his services that she’d refer her to her friends. So dude was fucking 40 or 50 women a week or something insane like that. He ended up having a breakdown, he realized he was a man whore and he couldn’t keep it going. His dick kinda broke on him because he was sad. That just goes to show you that even the people you think have a dream job, still hate what they do. I think the 60 year old fat lady was what put him over the edge and made him realize he was being used. I still think he was a fucking pussy. I think he is fat now.

Either way, here’s Sophia Bush, not as fit as my friend was, but still a whore to me….

Posted in:Sophia Bush|Spandex|Unsorted|Working Out

2007

11

Jul

I am – Valeria Mazza Bikini Pictures of the Day

valeria_mazza_bikini8.jpg

Here are some pictures of Valeria Mazza in a bikini from the other day. I don’t know who she is but she is in a bikini, so as far as I am concerned she important for me. I wonder how many times I can write that over and over and over and over again in 3 years before going insane.

I think I am getting nervous about the site, or maybe all this not writing is filling my brain with shit I usually throw up on the site, but I had a dream that Wikipedia used me as an example as to how not to do some pretentious kind of comedy that only top actors could achieve and said that I was a hack. Then I tried to stage a flash mob at the offices of Wikipedia but got distracted on the way while shooting a stepTV clip of a man beating up his pit bull and his older wife coming up to me thanking me leading to me eating her out while he watched all mad in the corner.

I started letting my stepdaughter post, I think she’s doing a good job, I liked her links, I like her stories, I don’t know why an 18 year old would go to a speed dating thing, I figured they’d be too busy playing with Barbie, learning how to hip hop dance, and having her first drink. I guess she’s been hanging out with 40 year olds again, I’ll have to put an end to that.

I don’t love that she posted pictures from months ago, because I am so cutting edge here, but she’s just starting out and I basically trained her by telling her to upload pictures, write a post, push publish…I expect all you fuckers to email her leads, links, fan mail, pictures of your girlfriend’s naked so they can compare their tits and do other girl stuff with each other…you know what I am saying…she’s not me, she’s probably better than me, give her a chance, keep coming back. I will chime in as often as I can but I’d rather be on the boat taking in all I fucking can….I will write a travel journal. I leave tonight. Fuckers.

For the record this is a close to 40 year old Swimsuit Model from the 90s with a ton of kids, I figured since I dreamt about wikipedia, the least I could do is use them.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Shakira's Ass of the Day

Shakira’s Ass

Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.

I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.

The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.

Posted in:Ass|Shakira|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Shakira’s Ass of the Day

Shakira’s Ass

Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.

I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.

The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.

Posted in:Ass|Shakira|Uncategorized|Unsorted